The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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Entries From Sunday, August 26, 2012

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4 Entries on This Page

 

In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and adventures. George and Neal were readily willing to include him in their time-travel and general awesomeness, but after reading "Hercules and the Twelve Labors," Adin was deterimined to prove himself worthy of their greatness. Similar to Hercules cleaning the Augean stables in a single day. Adin was determined to clean Neal's room in a single day. Then it became a week. Then a month.... Thankfully, Adin used the time machine over and over so he was able to do the entire month of cleaning in a single day. Adin then traveled to the year 2080, and worked towards domesticating sharks. Sharks proved so popular a pet that they replaced dogs. Mainly by eating them.

Then, similar to Hercules capturing and bringing back Cerberus, Adin traveled to 3087, captured a zombie, and brought him back to 2012. Contrary to popular belief, Zombies can be domesticated. Already knowledgeable about the task of domestication after the Shark Task, Adin befriended the Zombie, lovingly known as "Mrrrggghghh". Adin brought him everywhere. It made for many awkward social situations.

 

In 2022 Neal was having a mid-life crisis and had decided to head to Vegas to gamble his life savings away. George joined him thinking it would be a great opportunity to film a documentary. George recorded Neal's obsessive gambling (slots, blackjack, roulette, he tried everything to no avail). Eventually, Neal was completely broke (had even sold his shoes, pants and shirt) and had finally resorted to singing parodies of Weird Al songs in the hopes of earning a few cents or a crust of bread. An unusually sympathetic transvestite chorus girl (guy?) decided to give him a break and tossed $5 in his plastic tip cup. He immediately used it to play Keno at the Mirage, and won! And he didn't stop winning until he had earned $1.5 million, plus a new pair of pants! By 2030 Neal was a multi-billionaire and George won an Oscar for their documentary, entitled "Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend".

 

In order to celebrate his genius, George and Neal went back in time to 1952 to meet Albert Einstein. Rather than being interested in scientific breakthroughs and new physics concepts of the new millennium, Einstein wished only to learn of our current fashion trends. Consequently, history was altered ever-so-slightly, and now getting your tongue pierced is commonly referred to as "going all Einstein on your mouth".

 

In 1994 George began his extensive napkin collection. He collected paper cafeteria napkins and stored them in school lockers around the world. Around the same time Neal started his grand toilet paper collection, storing incredible amounts of toilet paper in laundromats all around Cincinnati. The big difference? George's weren't used.

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