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George and Neal and the Masters of the Universe

Views: 324/5516
Added: 02/28/2009

In 1981, after the character Orko appeared in the cartoon He-Man, in a move that confused most of the world, Neal sued the cartoon company for infringement of likeness rights. Neal was inspired by George's successful suit a few years earlier for the infringement of likeness rights for the character Skeletor. Both Neal and George are currently receiving royalties on all sales of all the original action figures. So if you sell any of yours at a garage sale, resale shop, craigslist, eBay, etc. please be sure to send us our fair share of the profits.

 

George and Neal and the Masters of the Universe - Interestingly, Teela is listed as one of his friends. Is there something you're not telling us?

Interestingly, Teela is listed as one of his friends. Is there something you're not telling us?

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1981(4) action figures(2) lawsuits(13) masters of the universe(2) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: ebay(2) he-man(2) masters of the universe(2) orko(2) skeletor(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Visiting Eternia

Views: 389/5858
Added: 02/28/2009

In 1988 George and Neal used their teleportation device to travel to the planet Eternia to inform the inhabitants of the successful legal proceedings described above. Unfortunately George was feared due to his uncanny resemblance to Skeletor, while Neal was just laughed at for his humorous antics and glowing eyes. George and Neal left feeling very offended and vowed to never return. We aren't sharing our proceeds from the action figure sales either.

Tags: 1988(6) astronomy(8) lawsuits(13) masters of the universe(2) teleportation(10) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: eternia(1) he-man(2) masters of the universe(2) orko(2) skeletor(2)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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The Prolific Pancake Pileup

Views: 784/7943
Added: 03/12/2009

Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that's just what happened. They made a fortune as a result, but lost it all when multiple lawsuits were filed against George and Neal after they chucked countless pancakes at oncoming traffic. (Wikipedia "the Prolific Pancake Pileup" for more information). A movie, "The Illinois Pancake Massacre", involving a serial killer who used pancakes as his weapon of choice, was only loosely based on the incident.

 

The Prolific Pancake Pileup - Uncle Buck has a long way to go before he can match these babies. We had traffic stopped for three days while crews cleaned up syrup and butter.

Uncle Buck has a long way to go before he can match these babies. We had traffic stopped for three days while crews cleaned up syrup and butter.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1952(3) food(45) inventions(49) lawsuits(13) movies(41) recipes(10)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) illinois(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Neal's On Wheels

Views: 592/10504
Added: 04/19/2009

(Ahem). In 2040, Neal offered a new service to the general public, wherein he would transport people on his back while riding on roller skates. He called it "Neal's On Wheels". Not to be outdone, George provided a service wherein he hid food all over the metropolitan Chicago area for patrons to find and eat. He called it "George's Forage". When that didn't work, because food was usually partially eaten by the large packs of feral mongooses that will roam the streets of Chicago in 2040, he started "George's Porridge", although this led to a lawsuit from an adult movie studio, who claimed the name "George's Porridge" was the title of a long-running (but mediocre selling) line of movies.

 

Neal's On Wheels - Sure they look cute, but when you have thousands of these little guys trying to cross Lake Shore Drive it tends to get messy... Cabbies don't like to stop.

Sure they look cute, but when you have thousands of these little guys trying to cross Lake Shore Drive it tends to get messy... Cabbies don't like to stop.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2040(4) business ventures(46) chicago(10) food(45) lawsuits(13) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint

Views: 336/5270
Added: 04/22/2009

For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their foray into costumed adventures was cut short sadly, due to a restraining order (which I am restricted from discussing). Neal and George gained financially, however, as they sued Activision for improper use of their likeness rights, in the bestselling adult themed video game, "Smegman vs. The Overwhelming Taint."

Tags: 1963(2) george funk(11) lawsuits(13) neal funk(18) nicknames(14) super heroes(3) video games(12) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: activision(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Neality TV

Views: 304/4203
Added: 05/12/2009

After the success of the show "The L-Word", Neal and George produced a television show based upon Neal's life. In retrospect, it should have been obvious that a television show called "The N-Word" was destined for failure. The show based on George's life, "It's a G Thang" also didn't fare well, but didn't rack up quite as many law suits.

 

Neality TV - Above: an extremely poorly conceived idea.

Above: an extremely poorly conceived idea.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: lawsuits(13) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: the l-word(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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We'd Need a Thneed Indeed!

Views: 342/8794
Added: 05/16/2009

In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industry to Dr. Seuss who wrote the story "The Lorax". Fortunately the story was an exaggeration of what could happen, but we were much more responsible with our manufacturing process, using only cutting edge sustainable technology, including using biofuels, 99% recycling efforts, solar cells and solar collectors to generate heat and electricity, reforestation projects, and more. Our patented Thneed Manufacturing Process was so low impact that most people don't even know it existed. And I guess that was our downfall. No one bought our Thneeds. In 2008 George brought suit against Fosdick Corporation, the company which markets the Snuggie, a blatant rip-off of the Thneed. Neal also filed suit against Fosdick Corporation, but because they are using the trademarked name he uses for his line of underwear (which he exclusively models). Neal's Fosdick Tighty Whiteys sell worse than the Thneeds...

Tags: 1965(1) 1971(1) 2008(6) business ventures(46) inventions(49) lawsuits(13) neal's fashion sense(21) scantily clad people(15)
Names Mentioned: dr. seuss(2) fosdick corporation(1) snuggie(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Play With George's Balls!

Views: 408/7208
Added: 05/18/2009

Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest game, "Grab George's Nutballs" (in which players were encouraged to fight other players in order to keep a ball filled entirely with peanuts), George was forced to sell his video game to the Nintendo Corporation in 1985 so that he could defend the lawsuits.

Undiscouraged by this setback, George teamed up with Neal to develop another video game, this time based upon Neal's chosen career in family law. After years of development, George and Neal are set to debut their game, Divorce Court Hero, in 2013.

 

Divorce Court Hero - Break up marriages for fun and profit!

Break up marriages for fun and profit!

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1985(4) 2013(7) business ventures(46) games(15) lawsuits(13) peanuts(6) sports(24) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: guitar hero(1) nintendo(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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2008 Election Campaigns

Views: 337/7789
Added: 06/06/2009

During the 2008 election season, George and Neal were hired by Barack Obama's marketing team to come up with catchy ditties about the man. After writing "Obama Told Me (You Better Shop Around)," "Obama Told Me There'd Be Day's Like This", and "Obama I'm Coming Home", the duo were fired for copyright infringement (and are currently facing lawsuits from a number of musicians, Ozzy Ozbourne included). They were quickly hired by Sarah Palin's camp to mitigate the damage done as a result of the Katie Couric interview. Though George and Neal's song "Hooked on a Palin" did little to help Palin's situation, they gained a new friend and confidant.

Tags: 2008(6) celebrities(69) lawsuits(13) music(26) obama(4) politics(9)
Names Mentioned: barack obama(4) katie couric(1) ozzy osbourne(2) sarah palin(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy

Views: 864/7286
Added: 09/13/2009

In 2004, George and Neal publish their educational children's book, "Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy". The book was a hit, especially in the "Males, ages 13-18" demographic. There was much praise. And lawsuits. Lots and lots of those.

 

Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy - Above: Mandatory curriculum in President Obama's Education Recovery Effort.

Above: Mandatory curriculum in President Obama's Education Recovery Effort.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2004(3) education(9) lawsuits(13) obama(4) publications(14) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: barack obama(4) harold and the purple crayon(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Nealotards

Views: 318/7254
Added: 08/28/2012

For six years, from 2021 to 2027 Neal tried very hard to get the world to pick up male-leotards as the latest fashion trend (he called them Nealotards). Those are known as the "Twenty Twenty Dark Ages" because not only did it occur during the 2020's, but Neal was featured on 20/20 in 2022 and also anyone with 20-20 vision went blind when they saw Neal strutting his stuff. Coincidentally, Neal is facing 20 law suits after this stunt.

 

Nealotards - Once you've seen it you can't un-see it.

Once you've seen it you can't un-see it.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2020s(1) 2021(3) 2022(4) 2027(1) lawsuits(13) Neal's Fashion Sense(21) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: 20/20(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Swingin' Records!

Views: 453/16207
Added: 04/19/2013

In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship (1985), "Who Let the Dogs Out?" by Baha Boys (2000), and "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka (1974). Their songs were all chart-topping, yet widely held as the worst songs ever made. (For a full list of their super-popular, super-terrible songs, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_music_considered_the_worst#Songs).

Prompted by their musical success, George and Neal released their own record, George and Neal Get Aural. Some people say the music was misunderstood, because it was way ahead of its time; but some people are idiots. The music was atrocious. The album was released on January 6, 1953. One day later, President Truman announced that the US developed the Hydrogen Bomb. George and Neal believe this to be no coincidence, and was in direct response to their album's release. Nevertheless, the album spawned three hit singles, "The Ballad of Clem (Who?)", "Misplaced Coinpurse", and "Party Like It's 1234 B.C." (the latter forming the basis for George and Neal's lawsuit against Prince for his song "Party Like It's 1999" despite the fact that they wrote the song in 2016 (well after Prince released his song) but released it in 1953.)

 

Swingin' Records! - Sorry, girls, they're married.

Sorry, girls, they're married.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1953(1) 1974(6) 1985(4) 2000(7) 2016(8) best album ever(1) celebrities(69) chart topping(4) get aural(2) great music(4) hot tunes(2) lawsuits(13) music(26) our bands(9) party like its 1999(2) record(1) trippy(1) we built this city on rock and roll(3) who let the dogs out(2) you're having my baby(1)
Names Mentioned: Baha Boys(2) jefferson starship(1) paul anka(1) president truman(2) prince(4) starship(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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There is No Zero!

Views: 328/12314
Added: 09/21/2016

In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has been stricken from historical records.

Tags: 0(1) 1966(2) ancient wonders(9) annoying fads(2) australia(2) clem(3) collapse of civilization(3) costumes(4) creamed corn(2) extinction(4) food poisoning(3) foot odor(3) forget this ever happened(9) genetics(16) george funk(11) good vibrations(2) great music(4) groin kick(3) historic events(18) History(13) hollandaise sauce(2) israeli food(2) jaguanst(8) kicking ass(16) lasagna(2) lawsuits(13) lotion(2) neal funk(18) oops(16) party like its 1999(2) people of history(33) phallus(8) platypus(4) pleasurebot(3) poop(7) power tools(2) pudding(2) reasons julie weeps(2) revenge(6) rhubarb(4) scantily clad people(15) stinky feet(3) strange disappearances(2) things george eats(3) things neal eats(9) things we made better(4) time paradoxes are fun(4) time travel(3) turtles & tortoises(3) vajazzled(3) wives(15) xxx(11) zoos and farm animals(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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