The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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'1990' Tagged Entries

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In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; however, relations between Martha and Neal became strained, resulting in an on-air, climactic and violent fight between the two. Neal did not count on Martha's extremely long reach and proficiency with kitchen knives, and as a result he suffered greatly.

Thankfully, George managed to bring Neal's corpse to the year 2050, where Neal was resuscitated. As a practical joke, George had Neal's testicles enlarged 500% and moved to his back. Surprisingly, Neal liked the new look, and his coinpurse remains unreasonably gigantic and misplaced to this day.

 

In an attempt to settle the long-running debate whether human behavior is determined by a person’s genes or rather by their environment, George and Neal traveled to 1990 and created the rap/ska musical group Naughty by Nurture. Just as George and Neal
planned, when news of their band name reached rappers Treach, Vin Rock, and DJ Kay Gee (collectively known as Naughty by Nature), they interrupted George and Neal’s UnLive Aid show (a benefit concert devoted to androids, zombies, and android zombies) to fight them onstage. Fights also ensued among the audience, which consisted of an equal split of fans of both groups. George and Neal immediately felt bad about what happened, and further realized that human behavior is determined by BOTH genes AND environment. Therefore, the boys made up with Treach and company, forming the supergroup known as Naughty By Nature vs. Nurture.

The songs they released were unsurprisingly terrible, but the muffin recipes that they also released were delicious.

 

Athletes. They command respect, admiration, and free Wheaties cereal. Having conquered every other field imaginable (and then creating fields not yet imagined and conquering those) George and Neal's traveled to 1990 to become world-renowned athletes.

Unfortunately, as neither George nor Neal possessed a modicum of athletic ability, they DID become world-renowned athletes... but not for the reasons they had hoped. Neal was the first baseball player to somehow break his pelvis when he hit himself in the face with a bat. George was banned from the world of golf, after tackling players repeatedly. He pretended he didn't know the rules. No one believed him.

Still, since at that time sports cards were a billion dollar industry, George and Neal managed to make a hefty sum releasing cards that reflected their most memorable moments of their short lived foray into sports.

Neal's daughter, Ayla, also threw her hat in the ring. Regrettably, it was a sumo ring.

Despite their great financial success, George and Neal considered erasing that timeline entirely. As they pondered the possibility, they were flooded with letters from children everywhere, thanking them. It turns out that George and Neal were inspirations - no child is embarrassed to try, and fail, at sports, since they could never do any worse than George and Neal. So yeah... George and Neal erased that timeline. The only evidence of this rare failure are some trading cards and a few very used jock straps. Aside: do not upset George or Neal, or they will mail you very used jock straps.

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