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Religious iDeals

Entry Logged on: April 05, 2009 to Part 1 by: Neal
Page Views: 380 - Times Displayed: 9092

In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of this religion involved eating lots of chocolate, sleeping, makin' sweet love down by the fire, and playing video games (the latter being extremely difficult in 1935). Wanting to follow in Neal's footsteps, George created his own religion in 1944, called The First United Orthodox Church of Georgish Science. George amazed his followers by constantly quoting from the Simpsons and the Blues Brothers. Since neither had been created in 1944, his people found George to be the funniest, wittiest man alive.

Tags: 1935(1) 1944(1) food(45) government(16) movies(41) religion(11) science(28) tv shows(49) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: blues brothers(1) the simpsons(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

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(Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party)
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(Allergic to Peanuts)



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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: blues brothers(1), the simpsons(1)

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  • 1935 - (No Other Entries)
  • 1944 - (No Other Entries)
  • food - (44 Other Entries)
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
    • Rhymes with 'Orange' - Upon hearing that no word in the English language rhymed with "orange," in 1986, George invented the word "sporange" just so one would exist. Years la...
    • Fear Factor Delicacies - In 1998, George convinced Neal to go on Fear Factor, where Neal went on to eat 50 scorpions, 12 worms, and over a hundred bull testicles. Neal later l...
    • Mmmmmmm... George Juice! - For unexplained reasons, George loves to bathe in Worcestershire sauce (which Dictionary.com defines as a "savory sauce of vinegar, soy sauce and spic...
    • Keeping Kosher - Neal enjoys eating pickled pig snouts, but only if they're Kosher. George enjoys eating all the foods his wife won't let him eat.
    • Show All...
  • government - (15 Other Entries)
    • Constitutionally Safe - A 1934 proposed amendment to the Constitution would have prevented George and Neal from having anything to do with interfering in global events again....
    • Jaguanst Causes Climate Change - In a landmark, decade long study that George and Neal published the results of in 2012, it was discovered that the biggest cause of global warming was...
    • We the Bad-Ass Americans - George and Neal went on a vacation/bender in 1776 (again with the time machine). Luckily, though wackiness ensued, nothing was altered in our time-lin...
    • Measure Your Spaghetti - In 2018 George and Neal were invited to appear before the entire US Government to talk about their accomplishments. The talk started out normal enough...
    • Allergic to Peanuts - In 1950 George created a comic strip about a short bald kid that everyone picked on. The strip competed closely with another very similar comic strip ...
    • Show All...
  • movies - (40 Other Entries)
    • Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Given the success of the novel (and soon to be movie) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a mashup story combining Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel Pride...
    • Sock Film Classics - Thelma and Louise - After the success of placing themselves into the roles of classic sitcom characters George and Neal did the same thing with movies. But this time inst...
    • I Dare You! - On September 6, 2010, George and Neal initiated a series of dares, each more shocking than the last. It started innocently enough, when George dared N...
    • Sleep Sleep Revolution - Hoping to get in on the "full body motion" video games made popular by the Wii and XBox Kinect, George and Neal invented "Sleep Sleep Revolution." Sa...
    • Breakin'! - In 1984, George starred in the movie "Breakin'!" as Master Shabazz. In 1986, Neal, in an effort to follow in his friend's footsteps, starred in the mo...
    • Show All...
  • religion - (10 Other Entries)
    • Joy to Everyone! - In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make C...
    • Westboro Baptist Church - In 2013, in an attempt to connect with the average American, Westboro Baptist Church contacted Neal and George for their advice. We recommended they ...
    • Sisters of Endless Guilt - In 1962 George and Neal dressed as nuns and moved into the Sisters of Endless Guilt convent, just for kicks. We lived there for three and a half month...
    • Samhain and Zarathosht Diso - A second attempt to unite the religious holidays of Samhain and Zarathosht Diso was equally disastrous since neither of them was Wiccan or Zoroastrian...
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
    • Show All...
  • science - (27 Other Entries)
    • Teleportation - After beginning to run out of material to add to the "Facebook Edit-Off" competition in year 6 of said competition, George and Neal decided to invent ...
    • Science Donations - In 1999, Neal tried to give his body to science. After 30 days, his body was returned as being defective.
    • Norris and Nye - George and Neal taught Chuck Norris everything he knows about kicking ass and Bill Nye everything he knows about science.
    • Studio Carrum Ccohortis - After extensive research for 23 years, George and Neal released the results of their Studio Carrum Ccohortis project. They discovered a very complex f...
    • Cow Experimentation - In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high in...
    • Show All...
  • tv shows - (48 Other Entries)
    • They're all True Stories - Numerous TV shows and Movies (and also a few books) have been based on the life and times of George and Neal. Included in these are: Superman, Bill an...
    • Max Headroom - Since 1986, every Friday evening, on odd numbered days, in years with digits that add up to 3 or 8, George and Neal hang out with Max Headroom. Un-un-...
    • Hair Match - In 2014, after declaring bankruptcy and losing everything, George and Neal came to their rescue and offered both Rod Blagojevich and Donald Trump an o...
    • Saturday Night George - In 1993 George and Neal used the Time Machine in conjunction with the Teleportation Device and wound up in an alternate reality where families sit aro...
    • Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire - In 2006, Neal appeared on the television spin off, "Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire". Neal did not win the hundred dollars.
    • Show All...
  • video games - (11 Other Entries)
    • George Jaros's Punch Out - In 1987, Nintendo released Mike Tyson's Punch Out. Although it was a smash hit, many believe that the game would have sold significantly better had it...
    • Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint - For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their for...
    • Play With George's Balls! - Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest ga...
    • Saved By The 1-Up - In 1991 Neal was found dead after a long session of Bad Dudes, however he luckily received a 1-Up just before perishing and was able to be revived by ...
    • The Wilhelm Scream and Other Sounds - The Wilhelm Scream is pretty well known for being a sound effect used in many, many movies. What is less well known is that George and Neal also prov...
    • Show All...
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Other Posts:

  • Nealocrats and Georgicans - In 2034, as a result of their love of George and Neal, America did away with their bipartisan political landscape, replacing it with a more unified go...
  • Presidential Fight Club - In 1947, Neal convinced Governor Thomas E. Dewey not to run for president, but rather to run as Neal's Vice President. George, hearing of this, was i...
  • This Ain't Your Dada's IKEA - In 2017, riding on the success of ExMo and the IISL, George and Neal started a new line of furniture stores called ILEAK, making the style and comfort...
  • A and E: The Origin - However, other times, George and Neal's time (mis)adventures really benefited world languages. For example, in 1232 Neal invented the letter A and Ge...
  • The Great Smog of '52 - In 1952 (but chronologically in 1997 during a trip in a time machine they co-invented) George and Neal visited London, resulting in the Great Smog of ...


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