The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


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Entries Authored By: George


180 Entries on This Page

 

Just a little background...

###Just a little background - This entire story was listed in the "Details on how you know each other" section of Facebook. Unfortunately the field for entering other details, while extremely long, and longer than we expected (that's what she said), ... Read More

Tags: background(1) first(3) that's what she said(6)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 1510/3169
Added: 02/09/2009

 

The Great Smog of '52

In 1952 (but chronologically in 1997 during a trip in a time machine they co-invented) George and Neal visited London, resulting in the Great Smog of '52 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Smog_of_1952).

Tags: 1952(3) 1997(6) amazing abilities(16) britain(9) george funk(11) neal funk(18) pollution(1) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: london(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 432/3304
Added: 02/10/2009

 

March of 2009

In March of 2009 George traveled back to February of 2009 just to make this entry in this list of great accomplishments.

Tags: 2009(21) time machine(37)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 169/1424
Added: 02/11/2009

 

Samhain and Zarathosht Diso

A second attempt to unite the religious holidays of Samhain and Zarathosht Diso was equally disastrous since neither of them was Wiccan or Zoroastrian.

 

Samhain and Zarathosht Diso - Venn diagrams are always helpful.


Tags: failures(22) holidays(8) mashups(12) religion(11) wicca(1) zoroastrianism(1)
Names Mentioned: samhain(1) zarathosht diso(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 149/1204
Added: 02/12/2009

 

Teeth are for Wussies, so Give Edentulous a Chance

In order to prevent George and Neal from becoming destitute after the ADA failed to support their new toothpaste approximately three dozen musicians, actors, and rhubarb farmers (friends from the IARF) joined together to perform a benefit concert and... Read More

 

Teeth are for Wussies, so Give Edentulous a Chance - Finally.... a worthy cause!


Tags: 1980s(7) awards and recognition(12) celebrities(69) edentulous(2) rhubarb(4) toothpaste(4)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 158/4159
Added: 02/12/2009

 

Cold Fusion

In 2035 George and Neal (using their time machine again) discovered the secret to producing Cold Fusion power. Unfortunately at the time they didn't realize the implications of their discovery since they were only trying to develop a more efficient w... Read More

Tags: 2035(2) 2115(2) business ventures(43) energy(6) inventions(47) poop(7) time machine(37)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 171/4842
Added: 02/13/2009

 

Band Camp

Then there was that one time, in band camp... But we won't go there.

Tags: forget this ever happened(9) music(25) our bands(8)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 126/1418
Added: 02/13/2009

 

Historic 10 year journey from Chicago to DeKalb

Just last year George and Neal began their historic 10 year journey from Chicago to DeKalb. Currently they're stuck in traffic and just called their wives to say they'll be late and expect the trip to actually take 11 years and 3 months.

Tags: chicago(10) dekalb(2) historic events(18) journey(6) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) dekalb(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 103/3940
Added: 02/14/2009

 

Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin

They also built a time machine, accidentally, while trying to fix a blender. The blender was originally broken when George and Neal decided to make "Rock Smoothies." Six blenders later, and the recipe is still not yet ready to be released.

 

Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin - According to Billy Dee Williams, this, too, is smooth every time. Well, relatively.


Tags: inventions(47) origin(24) recipes(9) smoothies(7) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: billy dee williams(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 161/3490
Added: 02/14/2009

 

Falling Out

In 1989 George and Neal had a falling out and didn't speak to each other for over 40 years, until they reconnected over their love of "Rock Smoothies". When they invented their time machine a few weeks after reconnecting, they decided that those 40 y... Read More

Tags: 1989(3) forget this ever happened(9) smoothies(7) time machine(37)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 125/3002
Added: 02/14/2009

 

Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch

In 2000 George and Neal traveled to Africa and met Mr. Fred Abeku, the present branch Manager of Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch, opposite the Grand Mosque Accra, Ghana. He needed help with collecting over $15 million from an account... Read More

Tags: 2000(7) africa(3) business ventures(43) crimes & scams(16) economy(8)
Names Mentioned: africa(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 203/3289
Added: 02/15/2009

 

Not Conspiracy Theories

There are conspiracy theories, and then there's the truth. And here it is, at long last. There was no UFO crash at Roswell. It wasn't a weather balloon either though. During another time travel journey George and Neal let one of their genetic experim... Read More

Tags: 2121(3) aliens(5) celebrities(69) cheese(1) conspiracy theories(7) genetics(16) moon(2) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: dollywood(1) nasa(2) roswell(1) wayne newton(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 202/5730
Added: 02/16/2009

 

Teleportation

After beginning to run out of material to add to the "Facebook Edit-Off" competition in year 6 of said competition, George and Neal decided to invent a teleportation device that is able to deconstruct matter and send it to another location within thi... Read More

Tags: 2015(9) animals(16) competition(10) ducks(3) facebook(10) mashups(12) platypus(4) science(28) teleportation(10)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 141/4412
Added: 02/17/2009

 

Bucket Run

George was not the inventor of the famed "bucket run" at U of I, despite the widely held belief (the original bucket run was not actually invented, but rather discovered by none other than the infamous radio personality Mike Pries). However, unknown ... Read More

 

Bucket Run - Good times. Good times.


Tags: 1997(6) 2008(6) 2009(21) economy(8) friends mentioned(4) inventions(47) jaguanst(8) u of i(3)
Names Mentioned: mike pries(1) mountain dew(2) university of illinois(5)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 133/4210
Added: 02/17/2009

 

Back Surgey

In 1997 both Neal and George had major back surgery after carrying one too many bathtubs full of caffeinated, carbonated, goodness. For any normal human beings this would have been a major setback, but Neal and George used the opportunity to have the... Read More

Tags: 1997(6) amazing abilities(16) body parts(14) energy(6) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: stargate(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 169/3548
Added: 02/17/2009

 

Party Like It's 1999

In 1998 George and Neal partied like it was 1999. In 1999 George and Neal didn't party.

Tags: 1998(9) 1999(3) party(3)
Names Mentioned: prince(4)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 97/1672
Added: 02/20/2009

 

7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago

In 2001 George and Neal went hang gliding from the top of the 7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago (yes, we know it was never built... in this timeline, but in a parallel universe it was completed in August 2000). They have yet to land, in either timeli... Read More

 

7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago - The thermals over downtown Chicago are impressive, especially the hot air over City Hall and Daley Plaza.


Tags: 2000(7) 2001(8) amazing abilities(16) chicago(10) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: 7 south dearborn tower(2) chicago(14) daley plaza(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 169/3262
Added: 02/21/2009

 

Igpay Atinlay: The Origin

Onway ethay iptray ackbay otay 2010 Ealnay andway Eorgegay accidentallyway entway otay 2010 BCEAY. Erethay eythay inventedway Igpay Atinlay. Ethay anguagelay eventuallyway evolvedway intoway actualway Atinlay. Onway anotherway iptray otay 1818 eythay... Read More

Tags: .2010 bce(1) 1818(1) 2010(16) ancient wonders(9) languages(11) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 141/1560
Added: 02/23/2009

 

The Heroic Journey of Two Wonderful, Influential, Benevolent Human Beings

George and Neal walked completely across the country and back in only three days back in 1986. Everyone was really impressed and George and Neal went on the talk-show circuit, landing interviews with the likes of Geraldo, Oprah, Montel, Carson, Lette... Read More

Tags: 1986(8) awards and recognition(12) celebrities(69) crimes & scams(16) journey(6) movies(40) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: barbara walters(1) bruce willis(1) david letterman(1) elmo(3) engelbert humperdink(1) geraldo rivera(1) hallmark(1) johnny carson(1) julia roberts(1) monaco(1) montel jordan(1) oprah winfrey(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 426/8188
Added: 02/25/2009

 

The Recession of 2009: The Origin

On 2/27/2009 George was too busy and too tired to do anything more than just embellish a bit. So he made up some random dribble just to take up some space. Neal wasted a few seconds of his time reading the dribble. Then everyone else who read this wa... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) economy(8) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 123/2700
Added: 02/27/2009

 

Visiting Eternia

In 1988 George and Neal used their teleportation device to travel to the planet Eternia to inform the inhabitants of the successful legal proceedings described above. Unfortunately George was feared due to his uncanny resemblance to Skeletor, while N... Read More

Tags: 1988(6) astronomy(8) lawsuits(13) masters of the universe(2) teleportation(10) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: eternia(1) he-man(2) masters of the universe(2) orko(2) skeletor(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 145/3763
Added: 02/28/2009

 

El Niño and La Niña

On a trip to northwestern Peru in 1923 George and Neal both befriended and eventually married the Lopez sisters. The sisters gave birth to two children, simply referred to as The Little Boy and The Little Girl, in Spanish, El Niño and La Niña. After ... Read More

Tags: 1923(1) offspring(13) south america(3) time machine(37) weather(7) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: pacific ocean(2) peru(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 151/5005
Added: 03/01/2009

 

Damn you, Midler!

In 2010 George and Neal single handedly (well, I guess double-handedly) save the US from a great depression, by creating a new industry devoted solely to... well, I can't really say here, otherwise our idea will be taken. Probably by Bette Midler, wh... Read More

 

Damn you, Midler! - Bette doing her nightly check of the latest updates in the The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! You won't find anything you can use here Bette! Go away!


Tags: 2010(16) bette midler(4) business ventures(43) celebrities(69) economy(8) inventions(47)
Names Mentioned: bette midler(5)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 159/6700
Added: 03/02/2009

 

Witness Protection

In 1992, when they were prime witnesses in the trial of Chicago's Polish Mafia boss Mogul Downhillski, George and Neal entered witness protection where they were relocated to Idaho and given false names. They lived there for three years before they o... Read More

 

Witness Protection - The "Bombing for Bushes" eco-terrorist group wasn't your typical eco-terrorist group. Instead of creating turmoil to push environmental agendas, they just terrorized bushes. We witnessed plenty an azalea go up in flames before the FBI finally caught these punks.


Tags: 1922(1) 2001(8) chicago(10) crimes & scams(16) dekalb(2) nicknames(14) secrets(4) u of i(3)
Names Mentioned: champaign(1) chicago(14) deepak chopra(1) dekalb(2) idaho(1) jane goodall(1) jerry falwell(2) poland(1) university of illinois(5)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 165/4495
Added: 03/04/2009

 

Illuminati, New World Order, Bilderberg Group, Committee of 300, the Freemasons, Skull & Bones, The Stonecutters, and the Shriners

George and Neal are the Illuminati and the New World Order. We lead the Bilderberg Group and organize the annual Bilderberg Conference. Our headquarters are underneath the Denver International Airport. We also founded the Committee of 300, the Freema... Read More

 

Illuminati, New World Order, Bilderberg Group, Committee of 300, the Freemasons, Skull & Bones, The Stonecutters, and the Shriners - This was taken moments before Neal went on his road rage rampage and ended up getting pulled over for doing 7mph in a 5mph construction zone. George mooned him as he drove by laughing.


Tags: conspiracy theories(7) organizations(15)
Names Mentioned: bilderberg group(1) committee of 300(1) denver(1) freemasons(1) illuminati(1) new world order(1) shriners(1) skull & bones(1) the stonecutters(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 353/4018
Added: 03/04/2009

 

Super Bowl: The Origin

In 1967 George and Neal shared the MVP award at the World Championship football game. When they were interviewed about their success, they were asked how they felt about their accomplishments and what their plans for the future were. Their response: ... Read More

Tags: 1967(2) awards and recognition(12) origin(24) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: sports illustrated(2) super bowl(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 169/3102
Added: 03/05/2009

 

Napoleon's iPod: The Origin

In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the location of the Battle of Borodino. Rumors were that it was a relic of an alien civilization that was ... Read More

Tags: 2001(8) aliens(5) ancient wonders(9) inventions(47) ipod(2) napoleon(2) origin(24) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: apple computer corporation(3) ipod(2) napoleon(2) russia(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 151/4884
Added: 03/07/2009

 

They're all True Stories

Numerous TV shows and Movies (and also a few books) have been based on the life and times of George and Neal. Included in these are: Superman, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (as noted above, however not Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, at least not ... Read More

Tags: a-team(2) awards and recognition(12) inspirations(19) knight rider(2) movies(40) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: altered states(1) animal farm(1) a-team(3) beavis & butthead(2) bill and ted's bogus journey(1) bill and ted's excellent adventure(2) casablanca(1) get smart(1) gone with the wind(1) goonies(1) gunsmoke(1) hamlet(1) indiana jones(1) james and the giant peach(1) knight rider(2) muppet show(1) neil gaiman(1) plan 9 from outer space(1) soylent green(1) star trek deep space 9(1) superman(1) tales of a geisha(1) the game(1) the lorax(1) welcome back kotter(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 139/6341
Added: 03/08/2009

 

Don Cherry's Wardrobe: The Origin

George and Neal are in charge or Don Cherry's wardrobe.

 

Don Cherry's Wardrobe: The Origin - George and Neal with Don Cherry and one of his tamer getups.


Tags: celebrities(69) costumes(4) neal's fashion sense(20) origin(24)
Names Mentioned: don cherry(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 128/3936
Added: 03/10/2009

 

The Opposable Nose: The Origin

In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. However, there is a tribe of people in the central forests of Simushir, known as the Norge, which embr... Read More

 

The Opposable Nose: The Origin - Egroeg, preparing to bestow the wonderful gift of the opposable nose.


Tags: .9996 bce(1) ancient wonders(9) body parts(14) george's fashion sense(12) hair(11) inventions(47) nicknames(14) origin(24) prehistoric(6)
Names Mentioned: simushir(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George & Neal Collaboration (1)
Views: 207/4696
Added: 03/13/2009

 

Vacationing in 165,003 B.C.

In 165,003 BCE George and Neal visited Macronesia, a large continent in the now Pacific Ocean (not to be confused with Macaronesia in the Atlantic). Unfortunately, while there we were careless and broke it into lots of smaller pieces. It is now known... Read More

 

Vacationing in 165,003 B.C. - A map of Macronesia and the route George and Neal took on their visit, prior to breaking it into Micronesia...


Tags: .165003 bce(1) journey(6) oops(16) prehistoric(6)
Names Mentioned: atlantic ocean(2) macaronesia(1) micronesia(1) pacific ocean(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 122/2836
Added: 03/14/2009

 

Binabble and Mon-opoly

Also in 2006, George invented a scrabble board game, called "Binabble" and instead of letters, you could only use 1's and 0's. The game didn't sell very well because the game board was too huge. Neal also invented a board game called "Mon-opoly". It ... Read More

 

Binabble and Mon-opoly - The game board went on for miles and miles. Even Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey couldn't see the end of it.


Tags: 2006(2) games(14) inventions(47)
Names Mentioned: jamaica(1) monopoly(1) scrabble(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 217/3801
Added: 03/15/2009

 

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, nothing happened because Star Wars was just a story made up by George Lucas (although the plot was loosely based on George and Neal's adventures with a similar all-encompassing power called the Farce). Howe... Read More

Tags: failures(22) inspirations(19) journey(6) movies(40) star wars(7)
Names Mentioned: illinois(3) milky way galaxy(1) pegasus galaxy(1) star wars(6) stargate(2) stickney(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 135/4635
Added: 03/16/2009

 

Calendar Confusion

In 46 BCE George and Neal suggested a new calendar to Julius Caesar. Caesar adopted most of the rules we specified, but not all of them. In 1582 George and Neal again proposed their new, more accurate calendar system, which was officially adopted by ... Read More

Tags: .46 bce(1) 1582(1) 1900s(1) 2800(1) calendars(4) george w. bush(5) historic events(18) inventions(47) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: george w. bush(4) julius caesar(1) pope gregory xiii(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 123/4274
Added: 03/16/2009

 

In Great Shape

In 1902 George and Neal developed a revolutionary diet program. The program slowly grew and evolved until the 1950s and 1960s when it suddenly took off and became an incredible success. We marketed it as a system where you could eat delicious foods a... Read More

Tags: 1902(2) 1950s(2) 1960s(2) business ventures(43) crimes & scams(16) food(44) inventions(47)
Names Mentioned: america(8)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 114/4079
Added: 03/17/2009

 

Save the Dinosaurs

65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash into the earth. They transported the dinosaurs to a planet known as Gliese 581 d. Over the past 65 ... Read More

Tags: .65000000 bce(1) aliens(5) animals(16) astronomy(8) britain(9) dinosaurs(2) evolution(5) extinction(4) games(14) save the aminals(6) teleportation(10) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) earth(3)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 146/4208
Added: 03/18/2009

 

The Twelve Step Approach

In 2010 George insisted Neal seek therapy to break his addiction to board games. Neal entered the program but came out six weeks later with a great idea for a game called "The Twelve Step Approach". The game has been a big hit in Hollywood and has at... Read More

 

The Twelve Step Approach - It's anticipated that the show will be a runaway success, just like the board game. In other words, if you run away you might succeed.


Tags: 2010(16) celebrities(69) games(14) inventions(47) rehab(3) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: amy winehouse(1) david hasselhoff(2) deal or no deal(1) elmo(3) hollywood(3) i know what you did last summer(1) lindsey lohan(2) nbc(3) nick nolte(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 133/7284
Added: 03/19/2009

 

Great Organization Over Development of the Global Relief of Idiocy Effort

In 1978 George and Neal received the Nobel Peace Prize for their work for the Great Organization Over Development of the Global Relief of Idiocy Effort (GOOD GRIEF). In the span of three short years they managed to provide safe, secure environments f... Read More

Tags: 1978(5) 1982(5) awards and recognition(12) organizations(15)
Names Mentioned: nobel peace prize(2) wal-mart(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 196/2648
Added: 03/21/2009

 

The Evian Mobile

In 1910 George and Neal, knowing the future issues that would be caused by the pollution from combustion engines, invented a highly efficient hydrogen powered car that ran on common bottled water; a 20oz bottle lasted 350 miles. Unfortunately bottled... Read More

 

The Evian Mobile - This vehicle, with its over-sized Evian bottles, could travel over 12,000 miles before needing a refill.


Tags: 1910(1) business ventures(43) energy(6) inventions(47) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: evian(1) fordmotor company(1) standard oil(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 116/4168
Added: 03/22/2009

 

Vanished Celebrity Vaudeville Variety Hour

In 1937 George and Neal, while experimenting with a new potato gun in the central Pacific, accidentally shot down Amelia Earhart's airplane. They were able to rescue her from the wreckage and she ended up staying on the island with them for quite a w... Read More

Tags: 1937(2) 2064(1) celebrities(69) organizations(15) theater(8)
Names Mentioned: adolf hitler(1) al capone(1) amelia earhart(1) andy kaufman(1) atilla the hun(1) beavis & butthead(2) benjamin franklin(1) bono(1) bronson pinchot(1) cher(1) cleopatra(2) dr. teeth and the electric mayhem(1) elvis(1) glen miller(2) jake the snake roberts(1) jaleel white(1) james dean(1) jim morrison(1) jimmy hoffa(1) kurt cobain(2) ludwig von beethoven(1) marcus schrenker(1) nikola tesla(1) notorious b. i. g.(1) shelley long(1) sonny bono(1) stephen foster(1) the fraggles(1) tupac shakur(1) william hung(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 382/7346
Added: 03/22/2009

 

The Multiverse

There are lots of stories about the Bermuda Triangle and how it causes ships and airplanes to mysteriously disappear. In actuality, this is the simply a side effect of George and Neal using their Time Travel technology. Every time we travel in time a... Read More

Tags: conspiracy theories(7) science(28) time machine(37) toys(3) u of i(3)
Names Mentioned: barbie(2) bermuda triangle(1) hot wheels(1) matchbox cars(1) university of illinois(5)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 106/3385
Added: 03/23/2009

 

Area 51¾

Area 51 - There is no such thing. I repeat, there is no such thing as Area 51. Area 51¾, however has been kept such a great secret by George and Neal that even the US government hasn't heard of it.

Tags: aliens(5) conspiracy theories(7) organizations(15) secrets(4)
Names Mentioned: area 51(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 115/2328
Added: 03/23/2009

 

Norris and Nye

George and Neal taught Chuck Norris everything he knows about kicking ass and Bill Nye everything he knows about science.

Tags: celebrities(69) kicking ass(16) science(28)
Names Mentioned: bill nye(1) chuck norris(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 125/3907
Added: 03/24/2009

 

The Dark Ages: The Origin

In about 480 AD the sun broke. In 1111 AD George and Neal invented a new, more efficient sun. That's why that period in history is known as the Dark Ages.

 

The Dark Ages: The Origin - When the old coal powered Sun started to peter out, George and Neal got on the job and brightened things up with our all new, efficient and clean, nuclear fusion powered Sun.


Tags: 1111(1) 480(1) astronomy(8) energy(6) historic events(18) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 118/2814
Added: 03/25/2009

 

It's Convenient: The Origin

In 711 AD on July 11th at 7:11pm George and Neal invented the convenience store. Then, in 1927 some guy named Joe Thompson completely ripped off our idea and is widely credited with inventing the convenience store. I guess it's our own fault though. ... Read More

Tags: 1927(3) 711(1) 718(1) business ventures(43) historic events(18) inventions(47) origin(24) people of history(33) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: 7-eleven(1) charlemagne(1) joe thompson(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 383/5483
Added: 03/26/2009

 

Big Triangular Shaped Buildings

In 2540 BCE George and Neal designed and supervised the construction of the great Pyramid at Giza. We didn't use slave labor like many historians suspect though. Instead we paid our employees handsomely. We provided full benefits, including family he... Read More

 

Big Triangular Shaped Buildings - Don't worry, we met with their union representatives and came to an agreement. We provided them with additional healthcare coverage and time off and they agreed to a 2% pay reduction. Also, we turned up the heat (Egypt was pretty cold back then). The project was completed on schedule (without resorting to the time machine), quite an accomplishment for George and Neal.


Tags: .2450 bce(1) africa(3) ancient wonders(9) antarctica(2) asia(2) business ventures(43) europe(4) north america(2) south america(3)
Names Mentioned: africa(2) alaska(1) antarctica(2) china(3) great pyramid at giza(2) greece(2) inca empire(1) north america(1) polynesia(1) sumeria(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 536/5282
Added: 03/27/2009

 

Hollow Earth

On and off for 35,000 years George and Neal worked on hollowing out the Earth. The dirt we hauled out was used to make the moon. The interior of the Earth is inhabited by numerous prehistoric creatures, fantastic races of humans, and even creatures t... Read More

Tags: conspiracy theories(7) moon(2) mythological critters(7) organizations(15) people of history(33) publications(14) save the aminals(6)
Names Mentioned: arthur gordon pym(1) edgar allan poe(1) frank c. baxter(1) jules verne(1) nantucket(1) paris hilton(1) scrooge mcduck(1) steven currey(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 356/4301
Added: 03/27/2009

 

Under Siege

In 1992 George and Neal starred in the blockbuster action hit "Under Siege". George starred as the ex-Navy SEAL turned cook who must protect an aircraft carrier from a group of mercenaries. Neal starred as the helpless stripper that jumped out of a b... Read More

 

Under Siege - George and Neal in their respective roles for the blockbuster hit, "Under Siege". Do a search - Neal's picture is all over the internet for this scene.


Tags: 1992(2) movies(40) neal's fashion sense(20)
Names Mentioned: under siege(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 445/3111
Added: 04/01/2009

 

Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party

Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Territory". George would bake the cakes and deliver them and Neal would jump out of them. This was a v... Read More

 

Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Taken just seconds before Neal took off running, much to Jerry and Pat's disappointment.


Tags: 1992(2) 1998(9) business ventures(43) celebrities(69) christian(8) food(44) movies(40) neal's fashion sense(20) phallus(8) religion(11) scantily clad people(15) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: jerry falwell(2) pat robertson(1) under siege(3) under siege 2: dark territory(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 129/9239
Added: 04/04/2009

 

Allergic to Peanuts

In 1950 George created a comic strip about a short bald kid that everyone picked on. The strip competed closely with another very similar comic strip for decades. Each week George would come up with a great idea only to have it copied almost exactly ... Read More

Tags: 1950(3) cats(8) comics(2) government(16) peanuts(6) publications(14) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: charles m. schulz(1) charlie brown(3) garfield(1) george gately(1) heathcliff(1) jim davis(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 147/4605
Added: 04/06/2009

 

Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer

680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmindedly left their Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer system behind when we were packing up to r... Read More

 

Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - If Neal would have only remembered to shut the darn lid... We could be surfing the cosmos as pure energy right now instead of puttering about on this archaic thing we call the internet.


Tags: .680000000 bce(1) 2009(21) 33458730(1) evolution(5) oops(16) prehistoric(6) science(28) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: taylor wharton(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 721/4751
Added: 04/08/2009

 

PDD Reactor

In 2068 George and Neal invented the PDD Reactor, a source of nearly endless energy. It converts Poopy Disposable Diapers into highly efficient energy. Unfortunately, when they invented the PDD Reactor there was no such thing as disposable diapers. S... Read More

Tags: 1950(3) 2068(3) energy(6) inventions(47) poop(7)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 112/2313
Added: 04/10/2009

 

Bum Ba Bum, Ba Bum Bum...

In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as s... Read More

 

Bum Ba Bum, Ba Bum Bum... - Don't let their looks fool you; George and Neal were the brains and muscle in this outfit.


Tags: 1972(3) a-team(2) crimes & scams(16) government(16) kicking ass(16)
Names Mentioned: a-team(3) los angeles(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 131/3128
Added: 04/11/2009

 

KISS

George and Neal were once part of the rock band KISS, but left the band in 1974 because they didn't think makeup of a raccoon and chimp respectively was cool enough. They also tried to convince Peter Criss to come with, but he seemed to like the cat ... Read More

Tags: 1974(6) 1980(4) 1994(4) celebrities(69) george's fashion sense(12) music(25) neal's fashion sense(20) our bands(8)
Names Mentioned: kiss(2) peter criss(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 151/5177
Added: 04/13/2009

 

Just Good Ol' Boys

In 1982 Neal and George played the roles of Coy and Vance respectively when John Schneider and Tom Wopat (Bo and Luke) walked off the set of the Dukes of Hazzard due to salary and royalty disputes. Coy and Vance's appearance was a huge hit with fans ... Read More

 

Just Good Ol' Boys - In addition to the outrageous sums of money Neal and George were demanding, the network just couldn't justify changing the name of the General Lee. They don't know what they were missing...


Tags: 1982(5) celebrities(69) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: bo duke(1) coy duke(1) dukes of hazzard(1) general lee(1) john schneider(1) luke duke(1) tom wopat(1) vance duke(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 144/5176
Added: 04/16/2009

 

Chainsaw Wielding Raccoons

In 1974 George and Neal prevented a hostile takeover of the US by an army of chainsaw wielding raccoons. We did this by training squirrels to use nail guns to take out the raccoons. Unfortunately the squirrels got too sure of themselves and started t... Read More

Tags: 1974(6) kicking ass(16) peanuts(6) raccoons(3) sciuridaetopia(3) squirrels(3)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 128/2702
Added: 04/18/2009

 

Phhhhlbtttt!!!

In 1927 there were actually 14 months to the year. Elevember came after December and Simbulary came after April. Earth revolved around the sun a bit slower than it does now. But during beta testing of the whoopee cushion, George and Neal accidentally... Read More

Tags: 1927(3) calendars(4) inventions(47) science(28)
Names Mentioned: whoopee cushion(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 150/2746
Added: 04/21/2009

 

Hair Match

In 2014, after declaring bankruptcy and losing everything, George and Neal came to their rescue and offered both Rod Blagojevich and Donald Trump an opportunity to stop living on the streets of Chicago and sharing a cardboard box behind Tony Rezko's ... Read More

Tags: 2014(7) 2015(9) celebrities(69) competition(10) crimes & scams(16) government(16) hair(11) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) donald trump(10) ecw wrestling(1) law and order(2) nbc(3) rod blagojevich(2) syfy channel(1) tony rezko(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 224/7611
Added: 04/22/2009

 

No means...

You know the saying "No means no", well, in 1929 a glitch in George and Neal's teleportation device actually caused a rift in the definition continuum, causing "No" to actually mean "Yes" for about six hours on October 24th. This caused a lot of conf... Read More

Tags: 1929(1) languages(11) oops(16) teleportation(10)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 201/3096
Added: 04/22/2009

 

Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch Gang

For a few years near the end of the 19th century George and Neal organized several bands of outlaws and robbed banks and trains in the old west. We were actually the masterminds behind Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch Gang's Union Pacific train holdup at W... Read More

 

Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch Gang - Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch circa 1901. Front row left to right: Harry A. Longabaugh, alias the Sundance Kid, Ben Kilpatrick, alias the Tall Texan, Robert Leroy Parker, alias Butch Cassidy; Standing: Will Carver; George Jaros alias the Whitewash Kid; Harvey Logan, alias Kid Curry; Neal Simon, alias Kneal S. Iman.


Tags: 1874(1) 1899(1) 1901(1) 1924(1) crimes & scams(16) historic events(18) nicknames(14) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: ben kilpatrick (the tall texan)(1) butch cassidy's wild bunch gang(1) harry a. longabaugh (the sundance kid)(1) harvey logan (kid curry)(1) illinois(3) james-younger gang(1) kansas(1) muncie kansas(1) newton boys(1) robert leroy parker (butch cassidy)(1) roundout illinois(1) union pacific(1) wilcox wyoming(1) will carver(1) wyoming(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 361/5018
Added: 04/24/2009

 

Format Wars

George and Neal have enjoyed starting format wars throughout the years. They are responsible for the infamous "Betamax vs VHS vs Video 2000 Conflict", "Battle of the PC and Mac", "AC/DC - The War of Currents", "The Cylinder Records vs Disk Records Co... Read More

Tags: 1908(2) discombobulation(4) friends mentioned(4) jaguanst(8) wars(4)
Names Mentioned: andy smith(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 120/4599
Added: 04/24/2009

 

Here Be Dragons

On a trip back to 1227 BCE George and Neal discovered that dragons did in fact inhabit major portions of the earth. Different species of dragons lived and thrived all across Europe and Asia. Sadly, on a separate trip to 1098 BC dragons appeared to be... Read More

Tags: .1098 bce(1) .1113 bce(1) .1225 bce(1) .1227 bce(1) 2029(2) extinction(4) mythological critters(7) save the aminals(6) teleportation(10) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: asia(1) europe(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 128/4031
Added: 05/01/2009

 

The Cure!

In 2018 George and Neal discovered a cure for the common cold. Well, not really discovered, but just stumbled upon. Well, not really stumbled upon, more like it was stuck in the pocket of an old pair of pants that Neal hadn't worn since 2009. Sure it... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) 2018(3) diseases(9) neal funk(18)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 112/2330
Added: 05/04/2009

 

Arctic Camping

From October 1907 to May 1909 George and Neal camped out at the North Pole. We're not sure why exactly since it was very cold, there wasn't much to eat, and the wi-fi reception was awful. We did enjoy the visit in April 1908 from Dr. Fredrick Cook th... Read More

Tags: 1907(2) 1908(2) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: arctic(1) dr. fredrick cook(1) north pole(1) robert peary(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 114/2749
Added: 05/08/2009

 

Monuments to Greatness

Gutzon Borglum originally had six faces carved on Mount Rushmore. The busts of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Abe Lincoln were flanked by Neal Simon (next to Washington) and George Jaros (next to Lincoln) to honor us for ou... Read More

 

Monuments to Greatness - The original Mount Rushmore.

 

Jar-mon Mountain - The in-progress Crazy Horse Monument and a model of what the finished sculpture will look like.


Tags: 1968(4) art is art(10) awards and recognition(12) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: abraham lincoln(2) crazy horse memorial(1) george washington(2) gutzon borglum(1) mount rushmore(1) teddy roosevelt(1) thomas jefferson(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 381/3348
Added: 05/11/2009

 

Duke Nukem Forever

In April 2097 George and Neal released the long anticipated video game, Duke Nukem Forever, only 100 years after it was announced. Contrary to popular belief the project was never cancelled, was not a myth, and really did take 100 years of work to de... Read More

Tags: 2097(1) kicking ass(16) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: duke nukem(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 109/2854
Added: 05/12/2009

 

We'd Need a Thneed Indeed!

In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industry to Dr. Seuss who wrote the story "The Lorax". Fortunately the story was an exaggeration of what co... Read More

Tags: 1965(1) 1971(1) 2008(6) business ventures(43) inventions(47) lawsuits(13) neal's fashion sense(20) scantily clad people(15)
Names Mentioned: dr. seuss(2) fosdick corporation(1) snuggie(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 157/5650
Added: 05/16/2009

 

Jaguanst Causes Climate Change

In a landmark, decade long study that George and Neal published the results of in 2012, it was discovered that the biggest cause of global warming was actually the consumption of carbonated beverages. Every can or bottle of jaguanst (that's soda or p... Read More

Tags: 2012(14) 2015(9) food(44) government(16) jaguanst(8) science(28) weather(7)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 129/12239
Added: 05/18/2009

 

Sciuridaetopian National Independent Commando Killing Elite Reactionary Squirrel Team

In 1994 George and Neal prevented a hostile takeover of the US by an army of chainsaw wielding raccoons (yes, again). Luckily our nail gun firing squirrels that we trained in the 1974 incursion had multiplied (like rodents are prone to do) as had the... Read More

 

Sciuridaetopian National Independent Commando Killing Elite Reactionary Squirrel Team - This raccoon stood no chance against the lightsaber wielding rodents...


Tags: 1974(6) 1994(4) kicking ass(16) peanuts(6) raccoons(3) sciuridaetopia(3) squirrels(3) star wars(7)
Names Mentioned: star wars(6)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 184/3433
Added: 05/27/2009

 

Saved By The 1-Up

In 1991 Neal was found dead after a long session of Bad Dudes, however he luckily received a 1-Up just before perishing and was able to be revived by George. Neal realized at this point that he had a dangerous addiction to video games and entered a r... Read More

Tags: 1991(3) 1996(2) 2001(8) 2005(2) amazing abilities(16) rehab(3) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: bad dudes(1) quake(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 126/4516
Added: 06/01/2009

 

Facebroke

On June 1, 2009 Neal broke Facebook, preventing George from uploading his latest awesome photos. This apparent sabotage was too little, too late for HeadPeriodical. Or rather, too little, too early, since HeadPeriodical wouldn't be created for anothe... Read More

Tags: facebook(10) oops(16) publications(14) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 164/3257
Added: 06/01/2009

 

Saturday Night George

In 1993 George and Neal used the Time Machine in conjunction with the Teleportation Device and wound up in an alternate reality where families sit around and do nothing but watch us on TV. Apparently in this alternate reality we are absolutely fascin... Read More

 

Saturday Night George - Families are glued to their TV sets watching George try to dance.

 

Includes Neal-in-Neal! - Neal's ugly mug helps sell the latest in TV technology...

 

George's Knobs - Notice how she likes fiddling with George's knobs? Neal is sooo jealous.


Tags: scantily clad people(15) teleportation(10) time machine(37) tv shows(48)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (3)
Views: 128/4092
Added: 06/02/2009

 

Made in USA

In 1954 George and Neal patented a "Made in China" sticker that could be added to products that were made in China. Today production of our stickers has skyrocketed and we have expanded our product line to include "Made in Taiwan", "Made in Korea", "... Read More

 

Made in USA - A proud product of America!


Tags: 1954(2) business ventures(43) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: america(8) china(3) honduras(1) korea(1) mexico(2) taiwan(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 148/4702
Added: 06/03/2009

 

You're spelling it wrong!

George and Neal know that, among friends, Brett actually spells his name like it's pronounced: FARVE.

Tags: friends mentioned(4) sports(23) we don't get it either(3)
Names Mentioned: brett favre(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 142/2209
Added: 06/04/2009

 

Sock Film Classics - Thelma and Louise

After the success of placing themselves into the roles of classic sitcom characters George and Neal did the same thing with movies. But this time instead of replacing the original stars with themselves they replaced the stars with a collection of soc... Read More

 

Sock Film Classics - Thelma and Louise - If you look closely in the end scene you'll notice that the socks in the car are just George's dirty laundry.

 

Sock Film Classics - The Shining - All work and no play makes Jack a smelly sock...

 

Sock Film Classics - Run Lola Run - Actually, it was more of a "Glide across the frame Lola, glide..."

 

Sock Film Classics - The Invisible Man - Unfortunately due to special effects budget limitations, only the sock was made invisible.


 

Sock Film Classics - The Godfather - "Don" Corleone actually spoke clear enough to understand perfectly all the time.

 

Sock Film Classics - Son In Law - Replacing Pauley Shore was the best thing that ever happened for this film. It received 6 Oscar nominations, walking home with 4 of the awards, including "Best Sock".


Tags: awards and recognition(12) mashups(12) movies(40)
Names Mentioned: academy awards(2) invisible man(1) pauley shore(1) run lola run(1) son in law(1) the godfather(1) the shining(1) thelma & louise(1) wizard of oz(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (6)
Views: 135/5419
Added: 06/06/2009

 

Sciuridaetopia Invades

In 2014 the United States was overrun by a large number of giant squirrels. Apparently our neighbor, Sciuridaetopia had been conducting top secret genetic experiments when something went terribly wrong and the test subjects escaped, rampaging across ... Read More

 

Sciuridaetopia Invades - Our battles against Godzilla were great practice. Taking out squirrels was a piece of cake.


Tags: 2014(7) genetics(16) kicking ass(16) science(28) sciuridaetopia(3) squirrels(3)
Names Mentioned: america(8) godzilla(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 134/3370
Added: 06/06/2009

 

Joystick Etymology: The Origin

In 1907 both George and Neal independently coined the term "joystick". George had a friend named Joy Buttnum who had a nervous tic that made her twitch her hand uncontrollably. Neal on the other hand enjoyed collecting small twigs and tree branches a... Read More

Tags: 1907(2) etymology(4) joystick(1) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 1626/2877
Added: 06/25/2009

 

Hair, Inc.

In 1964 George and Neal started their niche business "Hair, Inc." in which they supplied the hair for your favorite rock stars and other celebrities. The business was an overnight success when the Beatles (who were actually all completely bald) becam... Read More

 

Hair, Inc. - Thanks to Hair, Inc. very few people knew that the Fab Four were really the Bald Four.

 

Not a client of Hair, Inc. - George on stage with his buddy David Allan Coe (not a client of Hair, Inc.). Neal wasn't allowed on stage, but he did take this awesome picture.


Tags: 1964(2) 2007(2) beatles(3) business ventures(43) celebrities(69) hair(11) music(25)
Names Mentioned: ace frehley(1) aerosmith(2) beatles(4) brittney spears(1) crystal gayle(1) david allan coe(1) david bowie(1) dee snider(1) don king(1) gene simmons(1) howard stern(1) kiss(2) lyle lovett(1) metallica(2) motley crew(1) paul simon(2) poison(1) rolling stones(2) ron howard(2) sinead o'connor(1) slaughter(1) twisted sister(1) willie nelson(1) zz top(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 607/10519
Added: 06/29/2009

 

The Fountain of Youth

In 1609 George and Neal discovered the Fountain of Youth in Florida, just where Ponce de Leon thought it was. We kept the fountain's location a secret, but over the years the instinctive draw to the fountain has caused Florida to become home to a vas... Read More

Tags: 1609(1) 1958(1) aging(2) business ventures(43) etymology(4) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: florida(1) ponce de leon(1) seminole indians(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 123/4276
Added: 07/01/2009

 

A Meme is Born - LOLcats: The Origin

In 1821 George and Neal had a very nice lunch with Charles Babbage, but at one point George brought out his laptop for a quick check of his Facebook account. Chuck was fascinated and wanted to know more. So we left him an extra computer that we had l... Read More

 

A Meme is Born - LOLcats: The Origin - From 1902, one of the earliest known LOLcats...


Tags: 1821(1) 1902(2) cats(8) facebook(10) inspirations(19) inventions(47) origin(24) people of history(33) procrastination(5)
Names Mentioned: charles babbage(1) harry whittier frees(1) henry pointer(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 130/5161
Added: 07/02/2009

 

Handlebar Mustache: The Origin

In 1815 George invented the handlebar mustache; however no one understood the name. So in 1817 he invented the velocipede and suddenly everyone knew what handlebars were. The handlebar mustache was wildly popular, especially among military generals, ... Read More

 

Handlebar Mustache: The Origin - Now that's some awesome facial hair guys!


Tags: 1815(1) 1817(1) hair(11) inventions(47) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 1167/3066
Added: 07/07/2009

 

The Secret Society of ¤

In 1956 George and Neal founded a super-duper-triple-secret organization. I can't tell you the name of the society or I would have to kill you, but I can tell you that it can be recognized by the symbol ¤. Our meeting houses have sprung up all over t... Read More

 

The Secret Society of ¤ - You'll know when to come for the meetings by answering the following: "There is a commonly used eight letter word that can be abbreviated by it's first letter, first two letters, first three letters, first four letters, or first five letters. All abbreviations and the word itself are commonly used. What is the word?"


Tags: 1956(2) organizations(15) secrets(4)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 164/3224
Added: 07/07/2009

 

Having Doubts...

At 12:56am on Friday, July 10, 2009 George wondered if anyone ever reads The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! (Besides Bette Midler that is). At 12:57am on Friday, July 10, 2009 George decided it didn't... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) bette midler(4) cats(8) celebrities(69)
Names Mentioned: bette midler(5) bob ross(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 108/4065
Added: 07/10/2009

 

Bob Ross: The Origin

In 1968 George and Neal trained a kitten to paint. That kitten in turn trained Bob Ross to paint. Bob Ross in turn taught countless of people to paint. So thanks to Neal and George and one talented kitten there are millions of "happy little trees". W... Read More

 

Bob Ross: The Origin - For years the cat lived in Bob Ross's hair, giving advice and supplying large amounts of dopamine.


Tags: 1968(4) art is art(10) cats(8) celebrities(69) hair(11) origin(24)
Names Mentioned: bob ross(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 123/5288
Added: 07/10/2009

 

The ChickenPede

In 1996 George and Neal cross bred a centipede with a chicken (that was one wild night, let me tell you). The resulting mutant became a favored pet of Neal's (he named it Perdue) until George realized the financial opportunity and sold Perdue and the... Read More

 

The ChickenPede - RIP Perdue - Rest in Pieces... Crispy, tender, golden pieces.


Tags: 1996(2) business ventures(43) chicken(2) genetics(16) inventions(47)
Names Mentioned: hooters(1) kentucky fried chicken(1) perdue chicken(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 143/5068
Added: 07/23/2009

 

Going All Digital, and Clean(ish)

On February 9, 2009 by federal mandate George and Neal were required to go all digital. The mandate was immediately revoked and a new mandate required Neal to take a shower before the new June 12, 2009 date requiring Neal and George to go all digital... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) government(16) neal funk(18)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 110/2043
Added: 07/30/2009

 

Chicago Cubs in the World Series! (Psyche!)

In 2412, 467 years after their last World Series appearance, the Chicago Cubs looked likely to finally break their Billy Goat Curse, however, in true Cubs tradition they were swept in the first four games of the Intergalactic Worlds Series by the Sol... Read More

 

Chicago Cubs in the World Series!  (Psyche!) - A Cubs fan mourning the 2412 loss in game 4 of the Intergalactic Worlds Series. 19 - 0 isn't so bad, is it?


Tags: 2412(1) astronomy(8) chicago(10) cubs(2) robots(7) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) chicago cubs(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 119/2883
Added: 08/08/2009

 

Where the heck are Vladimir and Estragon?

In 1947 George and Neal spent several days in France waiting for their friends Vladimir and Estragon to show up. Neal later wrote a play about it called "Waiting for Vladimir and Estragon". Then in 1949 some dude ripped off our story and completely t... Read More

Tags: 1947(1) 1949(2) celebrities(69) ninjas(3) theater(8)
Names Mentioned: france(1) samuel beckett(1) waiting for godot(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 96/4544
Added: 08/08/2009

 

Couch Vibrations with Brian Wilson

As long as we're on the topic of classic rock music groups, it should be noted that George, Neal, and Brian Wilson were founding members of the Beach Boys, originally known as the Couch Boys. We turned out several minor hits, including Channel Surfin... Read More

 

Couch Vibrations with Brian Wilson - The Couch Boys didn't last long, but we made some really great music.I'm pickin' up couch vibrations... I think it's from flatulations... Couch, couch, couch... Couch vibrations...That was a classic!


Tags: 1961(1) art is art(10) celebrities(69) music(25) our bands(8) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Names Mentioned: beach boys(1) brian wilson(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 235/5899
Added: 08/09/2009

 

International Infant Sporting League

In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal welcomed the arrival of his 12th son (and he didn't even use the time machine). A result of all this ba... Read More

 

International Infant Sporting League - Fans really get into their ExMo watching. This was a party to watch the ExMo Sippy Cup Finals in 2016. Jimmy the Crier narrowly beat out Suzie Smooches to bring home the coveted gold covered Tickle Me Elmo Original trophy.


Tags: 2009(21) 2015(9) 2016(8) clarissa(6) genetics(16) offspring(13) organizations(15) sports(23) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: elmo(3) sesame street(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 154/6213
Added: 08/11/2009

 

This Ain't Your Dada's IKEA

In 2017, riding on the success of ExMo and the IISL, George and Neal started a new line of furniture stores called ILEAK, making the style and comfort once reserved for only elite athletes affordable for all. Our furniture is based on classic designs... Read More

 

This Ain't Your Dada's IKEA - George showing off the latest in the ILEAK line of infant inspired furniture.


Tags: 2017(2) business ventures(43) george's fashion sense(12) inventions(47)
Names Mentioned: ikea(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 114/5216
Added: 08/11/2009

 

What's a Typewriter?

In 2025 George and Neal received a grant from the US government to study the long held belief that if you give a billion monkeys a billion typewriters eventually they'll type the complete works of Shakespeare. Unfortunately our study ended prematurel... Read More

 

What's a Typewriter? - The Klingon Language Edition of "How to Win Friends & Influence People" quickly became the best selling edition. Who would have thought that people who speak Klingon would need friends or would like to influence people?


Tags: 2025(1) animals(16) languages(11) publications(14) save the aminals(6) science(28) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: dale carnegie(2) farmers almanac(1) how to win friends and influence people(1) saturday night live(1) start trek(1) stephen king(1) william shakespeare(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 647/5561
Added: 08/13/2009

 

Get To Da Choppa!

In 2020 George and Neal produced a very special episode of Dateline's "To Catch A Predator". It was a great success and they captured a lion, three grizzly bears, a pair of jaguars, three red-tailed hawks, six rattlesnakes, one mongoose, a vast assor... Read More

 

Get To Da Choppa! - Chris Hansen with our catch of the day. Let me tell you, this guy was not happy. He kept muttering about how he was only after the queen. Later we had to call an exterminator to clean up an infestation of Internecivus raptus, but since this was To Catch A Predator and not To Catch A Parasite, those clips didn't air.


Tags: 2020(2) celebrities(69) movies(40) sports(23) success!(13) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: alien(2) alien vs predator(2) arnold schwarzenegger(1) chris hansen(1) dateline(2) nashville predators(1) predator(1) to catch a predator(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 120/7707
Added: 08/13/2009

 

uʍop ǝpısdn

In 2118 George and Neal turned the universe upside down. It was fun. Maybe we'll do it again some time.

 

uʍop ǝpısdn - ...uʍop ǝpısdn ǝsɹǝʌıun ǝɥʇ pǝddı1ɟ ǝʍ uǝɥʍ ǝʞı1 pǝʞoo1 p1ɹoʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ sı sıɥʇ


Tags: 2118(1) amazing abilities(16) astronomy(8)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 101/1548
Added: 08/15/2009

 

Them Amazing Ladies

In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ask Neal the opposite is true. This is a debate that will continue for centuries. In fact, college c... Read More

 

Them Amazing Ladies - What is nearly as amazing as these two women is the fact that they even agreed to marry George and Neal in the first place, and then managed to put up with them for years, and provide them with a continuation of their genetic lineage. George and Neal have no idea how lucky they are (well, maybe just a little).


Tags: 2001(8) clarissa(6) competition(10) education(9) genetics(16) julie(5) wives(15)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 204/4712
Added: 08/18/2009

 

Facemag - Hell on Osteoporosis

In early 2010, in an attempt to attract the age 80+ and technophobe demographics, as well as providing an alternate supply for the Facebook addicts, George and Neal brokered an agreement with cNet Publishing and Facebook for a monthly printed edition... Read More

 

Facemag - Hell on Osteoporosis - The Large Print edition was over four times as thick, and this was just the second issue. By 2012 the standard print edition was over 3 feet thick.


Tags: 2010(16) business ventures(43) facebook(10) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: cnet publishing(1) facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 108/3569
Added: 08/20/2009

 

Robot Enslavement, Take 2

In 2045, robots took over the world. Not as scary as you'd think. The robots were friendly, personable, and wonderful leaders of the enslaved human race. This robotic takeover had nothing to do with George and Neal. Or did it? (Yes, we know this has ... Read More

Tags: 2045(1) robots(7)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 295/1669
Added: 08/25/2009

 

Goodby Kimmie!

In December, 2011 Neal and George did the world a favor by getting rid of Kim Jong Il using a technique they spent decades perfecting. The "Remote Head Squish" method of attack is a secret that was passed on to them by Samurai Master Nasu no Yoichi i... Read More

 

Goodby Kimmie! - They never saw us coming. One of the benefits of having a personal cloaking device.


Tags: 1192(1) 2011(8) celebrities(69) kicking ass(16) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13)
Names Mentioned: kim jong il(1) nasu no yoichi(1) north korea(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 142/4184
Added: 08/25/2009

 

Oregon Trail xTreme - The Road to Nimrod

On June 1, 2011, Neal and George debuted their MMORPG video game, Oregon Trail xTreme - The Road to Nimrod (yes, it is an actual place in Oregon, as is Wankers Corner). The initial release was hugely anticipated, netting over 3.6 million users in the... Read More

Tags: 2011(8) diseases(9) inventions(47) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: nimrod oregon(1) oregon trail(1) wankers corner oregon(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 140/2907
Added: 09/02/2009

 

Girls Gone Tame

In 2021, to capitalize on the new, extremely modest trends in fashion, George and Neal made millions off their new video series called "Girls Gone Tame". In exchange for putting on an extra petticoat, George and Neal would provide college girls with ... Read More

 

Girls Gone Tame - You should hear about all the stuff they weren't willing to do...


Tags: 2021(3) movies(40) scantily clad people(15) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: girls gone wild(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 138/3553
Added: 09/02/2009

 

Get $245 Free (maybe)

In 1989 George and Neal were instrumental in the launch of the new chocolate DOVE Promises. Each wrapper featured an inspirational promise. Unfortunately the promises turned out to be big lies and the launch was a huge failure. I guess we shouldn't h... Read More

 

Get $245 Free (maybe) - Seriously. Send our adventures to all your friends. You'll either get the $245 or have fewer friends, we make no promises (oh, wait, that was the whole problem...)


Tags: 1989(3) business ventures(43) failures(22) food(44) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: american meteorological society(1) dove chocolate(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 105/3568
Added: 09/04/2009

 

George Takes a Break

In April, 2016 George got tired of the whole ninja fighting and history manipulating thing. He decided to try something more relaxing and opened the Meadows of Elysium Bed & Breakfast. Unfortunately the whole thing was a disaster. Maybe it was becaus... Read More

Tags: 2016(8) business ventures(43) crimes & scams(16) gimme a break(5) ninjas(3) raccoons(3) robots(7) zombies(21)
Names Mentioned: motel 6(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 159/3886
Added: 09/05/2009

 

Measure Your Spaghetti

In 2018 George and Neal were invited to appear before the entire US Government to talk about their accomplishments. The talk started out normal enough, but about 10 minutes into it we had actually hypnotized the entire House and Senate, as well as th... Read More

 

Measure Your Spaghetti - Getting everyone to pose for this picture was surprisingly easier than you would think. In fact most of them were already snapping out of the hypnotic state by the time this picture was snapped.


Tags: 2018(3) art is art(10) food(44) government(16) laws(10) scantily clad people(15)
Names Mentioned: america(8) spencer tunick(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 205/4188
Added: 09/06/2009

 

President Obama's Education Recovery Effort

In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up. Students are required to pass annual standardized tests in four categories: Historical Events, Bus... Read More

 

President Obama's Education Recovery Effort - This was an answer key for the 6th grade multiple choice section. Whoo Hoo! We like patterns! Also notice that you no longer have the choices of A-B-C-D-E. In keeping with George & Neal are Awesome tradition, your options on the multiple choice section are G-J-N-S-!


Tags: 2010(16) britain(9) business ventures(43) celebrities(69) education(9) government(16) historic events(18) inventions(47) laws(10) obama(4)
Names Mentioned: america(8) barack obama(4) britain(8)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 529/7004
Added: 09/08/2009

 

Chicken To Ride - And Other Classics Done Right

In 2012 George and Neal recorded an album of cover songs, except instead of the actual lyrics we sang the lyrics that everyone thinks the original artists were singing. Neal's rendition of Jimmi Hendrix's Purple Haze was an instant hit ('Scuse me whi... Read More

 

Chicken To Ride - And Other Classics Done Right - We're getting ready to release the second album, entitled "Shamu the Mysterious Whale: The Songs of U2".


Tags: 2012(14) art is art(10) celebrities(69) music(25) our bands(8) politics(9)
Names Mentioned: art garfunkel(1) beatles(4) cheerios(1) creedence clearwater revival(1) elvis presley(1) frank sinatra(2) glen miller(2) jimmi hendrix(2) judy garland(1) larry craig(1) led zepplin(1) madonna(1) nine inch nails(2) nirvana(2) paul simon(2) queen(1) rem(1) shamu(1) simon & garfunkel(1) u2(1) wizard of oz(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 165/14421
Added: 09/13/2009

 

Make the Trains Run on Thyme

Mussolini got his idea to tell everyone that he made the trains run on time after George and Neal invented a train that ran on thyme (Benito simply misunderstood us, but recognized a good idea when he heard one). We also invented a car that ran on or... Read More

Tags: food(44) inspirations(19) inventions(47) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: benito mussolini(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 122/4005
Added: 09/18/2009

 

Max Headroom

Since 1986, every Friday evening, on odd numbered days, in years with digits that add up to 3 or 8, George and Neal hang out with Max Headroom. Un-un-unfortunately the stutters and low resolution imaging tend to stick- tend to stick- stick- stick- wi... Read More

 

Max Headroom - Usually we'd just end up watching TV shows Max was able to tap into (skipping over all those annoying blipverts, of course - no heads exploding here).


Tags: 1986(8) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: max headroom(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 107/2912
Added: 09/28/2009

 

Lady Gaga vs P!nk

In 2011 the debate over which female music artist was the craziest resulted in a UFC cage match between Lady Gaga and P!nk. The match lasted 12 hours before a strung out old skank arrived, bitch slapped both girls, flashed the crowd, and passed out. ... Read More

 

Lady Gaga vs P!nk - This may have been the strangest UFC match ever aired, even stranger than George's battle with Deep Blue or Neal's fight against that octopus.


Tags: 2011(8) celebrities(69) kicking ass(16) music(25) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13)
Names Mentioned: courtney love(1) lady gaga(1) p!nk(1) ultimate fighting championship(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 326/5703
Added: 09/29/2009

 

Poor, poor Clem...

These used to be "The Grand Saga of George, Neal, and Clem's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!" but at some point, due to a glitch in the time machine or teleportation device, Clem ceased to exist. There is absolutely no record of Clem... Read More

 

Poor, poor Clem... - On second thought, maybe this WILL be "The Grand Saga of George, Neal, and Clem's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!"... Regardless, we have no idea who Clem is or will be and no recollection of this photograph ever being taken, even though Neal and George each have a copy that they carry with them in their wallets.


Tags: etymology(4) forget this ever happened(9) teleportation(10) time machine(37)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 131/3525
Added: 10/01/2009

 

GONADS

In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device takes prenatal learning programs (like Lullabelly, Bellysonic and FirstSounds) one step further and i... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) 2010(16) business ventures(43) clarissa(6) genetics(16) inventions(47) julie(5) offspring(13) relationships(6) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: bellysonic(1) donkey kong(1) firstsounds(1) lullabelly(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 179/7225
Added: 10/04/2009

 

Nobel Peace Prize

In 1980, when George and Neal were both 2 years old, they were given the Nobel Peace Prize as a result of older George and Neal traveling back in time and telling the Nobel Peace Prize officials about all of the great things they would do in a few de... Read More

Tags: 1980(4) awards and recognition(12)
Names Mentioned: nobel peace prize(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 107/1853
Added: 10/04/2009

 

America's Run Out of Talent

By 2012 NBC was having trouble finding people for its hit show "America's Got Talent". So they created a sequel, which George and Neal tried out for in 2013. Unfortunately they didn't make it past the first round of voting in "America's Run Out of Ta... Read More

 

America's Run Out of Talent - George & Neal's performance of their short play, "Vegetables vs Knights" spurred a standing ovation, weeping in the audience, and rave reviews. However, they were asked to leave the show because their level of talent was just over the allowed threshold.


Tags: 2012(14) 2013(7) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: america's got talent(1) nbc(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 99/10692
Added: 10/10/2009

 

Zoo Trip Time Machine

In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done that sooner. So they jumped in the time machine and got their families together for a trip to the zo... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) 2010(16) gimme a break(5) offspring(13) time machine(37) wives(15)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 136/4112
Added: 10/24/2009

 

Happy Apocalypse Eve!

On December 20, 2012 George and Neal discovered that the world was not in fact ending, according to previous beliefs based on the Mayan calendar. Rather, all that was needed was to turn the calendar upside down and it would work for another 5126 year... Read More

 

Happy Apocalypse Eve! - Flipping the Mayan calendar was pretty easy, thanks to our super strength. Besides, we had flipped the universe once, what's a big rock?


Tags: 2012(14) amazing abilities(16) apocalypse(3) mayans(2) you're welcome(2)
Names Mentioned: mayan indians(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 102/9430
Added: 11/19/2009

 

George's Ghastly Spell and the Toothless Fairy

For four years (1995 - 1999) George filled in for the Boogie Man while he was on sabbatical. Those exceptionally productive years are affectionately known as "George's Ghastly Spell" by Boogie Man aficionados. Neal spent the same time period imperson... Read More

Tags: 1995(2) 1999(3) kicking ass(16) mythological critters(7) nicknames(14)
Names Mentioned: boogie man(1) tooth fairy(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 136/2710
Added: 11/19/2009

 

Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution

In 1981 George founded the Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution (M.U.T.E.); the most prestigious school of ventriloquism, and the only one to offer a full range of degrees and certifications, including the esteemed Pu.D. (Doctorate of Puppetry... Read More

 

Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution - Neal with the first, and only, group of officers for the Disparate Union of Mumbling Mannequins and Inanimate Entertainment Sycophants (D.U.M.M.I.E.S.). On the plus side, before the union was dissolved, Neal was able to buy a used 1975 Trabant from the guy at the bottom left in the hat with the black band.


Tags: 1981(4) education(9) organizations(15)
Names Mentioned: trabant(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 133/3163
Added: 12/02/2009

 

Documentaries

Throughout the years George and Neal have helped create several famous documentaries, including Gheorghe Marinescu's "The walking troubles of organic hemiplegy" and "The walking troubles of organic paraplegies"; Edward S. Curtis's "In the Land of the... Read More

Tags: celebrities(69) education(9) movies(40) people of history(33) robots(7)
Names Mentioned: edward s. curtis(1) gheorghe marinescu(1) james cameron(1) michael moore(1) robert j. flaherty(1) william shakespeare(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 122/5307
Added: 12/10/2009

 

Nobody does the weather like Neal (and that's a good thing).

In 2023 George and Neal each got jobs as meteorologists for competing local Chicago VV stations (VV will be the replacement for TV in the future). Both made the promise to their stations that within the first year they would be able to refine their t... Read More

 

Nobody does the weather like Neal (and that's a good thing). - Neal never took his meteorologist job seriously. This was one of the tamer weather systems he had fun with. You should see what he can do with a tropical depression.  Also note that Chicago will be moved and become the entire state of Ohio.


Tags: 2023(2) chicago(10) phallus(8) time machine(37) tv shows(48) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) ohio(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 128/5594
Added: 01/29/2010

 

Snoutbook

In the latter half of the middle third of the eighth month of 2010 George and Neal started a new social networking site dedicated solely to the most technologically neglected members of our families. By 2011 Snoutbook boasted nearly 150 million membe... Read More

 

Snoutbook - Snoutbook gives dogs everywhere the opportunity to do something other than lick their crotches to pass the time. But Snoutbook isn't just for dogs! Cats, horses, ferrets, gerbils, wombats, or any other critter is welcome to join the world's fastest growing social networking site.


Tags: 2010(16) 2011(8) animals(16) facebook(10)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9) farmville(1) mafia wars(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 133/3732
Added: 01/29/2010

 

SUPER POWERS

In 1975 a hiccup in the Teleportation Device George and Neal use to travel instantaneously across huge distances caused them to swap realities with alternate versions of themselves that came from a parallel universe where everyone has what we would c... Read More

 

SUPER POWERS - SUPER George working his day job as a pizza delivery man. He saved thousands from hunger by delivering pizza to the bad neighborhoods that other pizza delivery guys were afraid to traverse. Just one of SUPER George's many heroic deeds during his tenure in this reality.


Tags: 1975(2) 1977(2) 1984(10) business ventures(43) science(28) super heroes(3) teleportation(10) you're welcome(2)
Names Mentioned: monty python's flying circus(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 169/5095
Added: 08/09/2010

 

Olympic Snowball

In 2022, at George and Neal's insistence (ok, it was actually persistence - we agreed to finally stop whining about it if the IOC included it - we can be very persuasive) Snowball Fights became an Olympic sport. USA won the first two Olympics with th... Read More

 

Olympic Snowball - Members of the 2030 Canadian Snowball Team deftly dodging a barrage of snow from the signature move, Holy White Fury, of the Vatican team.

 

Lose the loincloth please... - Neal preparing to sling a whopper at Flu Pou Tou Eue, the captain of the Chinese team, in 2056. Neal claimed the extra weight gave him an advantage, but we think he just liked eating too much mud. And he never had an excuse for the loincloth...


Tags: 2022(4) 2023(2) 2026(2) 2040(4) 2041(2) 2044(1) 2056(2) awards and recognition(12) christian(8) neal's fashion sense(20) politics(9) sports(23) things neal eats(8) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: canada(4) china(3) democratic party(1) ghana(1) olympics(3) republican party(1) vatican(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 633/6243
Added: 08/09/2010

 

Cheese Eatin' Bears

In 1919 George and Neal started raising a sleuth of bears that would eat only cheese. For quite a while this was pretty useless, but it came in very handy in 2011 when the Chicago Bears met the Green Bay Packers for the NFC championship.

 

Cheese Eatin'  Bears - One of George and Neal's cheese eating bears preparing to devour its catch of the day. These bears live in Illinois, but forage for food north of the border.


Tags: 1919(1) 2011(8) animals(16) chicago(10) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) chicago bears(1) green bay packers(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 141/4359
Added: 01/19/2011

 

Studio Carrum Ccohortis

After extensive research for 23 years, George and Neal released the results of their Studio Carrum Ccohortis project. They discovered a very complex formula for determining the winners of any given sporting event. Careful comparison between two teams... Read More

Tags: oops(16) science(28) sports(23)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 199/3107
Added: 01/24/2011

 

They're Not Imaginary Afterall

Between January 2111 and August 2121 George and Neal set out on a quest to discover as many creatures generally thought to be imaginary as possible. Over their 10 year hunt they proved the existence of unicorns, pixies, trolls, harpies, thunderbirds,... Read More

 

They're Not Imaginary Afterall - Over the course of 10 years Neal tried lots of different ways of attracting the elusive unicorn. The big question isn't why he tried out this costume, but why he didn't stop wearing it after we found a unicorn.


Tags: 2111(2) 2121(3) celebrities(69) mythological critters(7) neal's fashion sense(20)
Names Mentioned: gary busey(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 444/4311
Added: 11/11/2011

 

Someday...

The current world-record for an individual procrastinating on a project is 78 years, 8 months, 4 days, 16 hours, 12 minutes, and 31 seconds. George and Neal would like to someday beat that record, but they haven't gotten around to it yet.

Tags: procrastination(5) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 91/1804
Added: 08/25/2012

 

Aracauna Flu

In 2068 George and Neal accidentally engineered a new strain of the flu virus, called Aracauna Flu, and then subsequently became the first people to catch the traumatic, but nonfatal disease. The symptoms of Aracauna Flu are much more uncomfortable t... Read More

 

Aracauna Flu - It's a good thing we didn't run into Kenny Rogers. I mean, c'mon, look at those juicy breasts!


Tags: 2068(3) celebrities(69) chicken(2) diseases(9)
Names Mentioned: kenny rodger(1) kenny rodger roasters(1) malaysia(1) phillippines(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 122/6071
Added: 08/25/2012

 

Pluto's back, and it's pissed...

Starting in 2115 George and Neal started sending weekly weight gain supplements and steroids to the Dwarf Planet Pluto. By 2194 Pluto had gained enough mass to achieve orbital dominance, thus re-establishing it in its rightful place as the 9th Planet... Read More

 

Pluto's back, and it's pissed... - It was hard to see since the sun was so far away, but we're pretty sure Pluto had a red neck.


Tags: 2115(2) 2194(1) 2238(1) astronomy(8) kicking ass(16) rehab(3)
Names Mentioned: charon(1) pluto(1) solar system(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 203/2255
Added: 08/25/2012

 

Hungry Eyes

In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was initiated by the split with Greyhound Lines (yes, the bus company - he really likes vehicles named afte... Read More

 

Hungry Eyes - Luckily the teleportation device replaced all George's body parts in their proper locations before he needed to eat a meal. That would have looked pretty nasty.


Tags: 1987(7) body parts(14) celebrities(69) chicago(10) inspirations(19) movies(40) music(25) neal funk(18) teleportation(10)
Names Mentioned: arizona(1) chicago(14) dallas(1) dial corporation(1) dirty dancing(1) eleanor bergstein(1) franke previte(1) greyhound lines(1) john denicola(1) phoenix(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 182/8855
Added: 08/25/2012

 

Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend

In 2022 Neal was having a mid-life crisis and had decided to head to Vegas to gamble his life savings away. George joined him thinking it would be a great opportunity to film a documentary. George recorded Neal's obsessive gambling (slots, blackjack,... Read More

 

Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend - It is suspected that this movie's Academy Award wasn't the result of the heartwarming, incredible story of Neal's Keno winnings, but rather the fact that George narrated the whole thing while breathing massive quantities of helium. Also the narration had nothing to do with the movie, but was just George reading from The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


Tags: 2022(4) 2030(3) celebrities(69) games(14) movies(40) music(25) scantily clad people(15) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: academy awards(2) las vegas(1) mirage hotel and casino(1) weird al yankovic(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 158/6626
Added: 08/26/2012

 

Paper Product Hoarders

In 1994 George began his extensive napkin collection. He collected paper cafeteria napkins and stored them in school lockers around the world. Around the same time Neal started his grand toilet paper collection, storing incredible amounts of toilet... Read More

 

Paper Product Hoarders - The school administration didn't know whether they should laugh or cry. Ironically, if they did cry, they had no tissues whatsoever for their tears.


Tags: 1994(4) education(9) neal funk(18) poop(7)
Names Mentioned: cincinnati(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 136/2163
Added: 08/26/2012

 

2012 Advent Calendars

In 2012 George and Neal began marketing their line of 2012 Advent Calendars. They were inspired by the Mayan calendar, so they only went up to the 21st of December.

 

2012 Advent Calendars - Luckily we didn't discover how to avoid the 12/21/2012 apocalypse until after we had made millions from the sales of the calendars.


Tags: 2012(14) apocalypse(3) calendars(4) holidays(8) mayans(2)
Names Mentioned: mayan indians(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 126/9884
Added: 08/27/2012

 

Westboro Baptist Church

In 2013, in an attempt to connect with the average American, Westboro Baptist Church contacted Neal and George for their advice. We recommended they reach the American public through food. In early 2014 the church released their Westboro Bun Sized ... Read More

 

Westboro Baptist Church - Ingredients include: Beef, Hypocrisy, Water, Salt, Corn Syrup, Dextrose, Mustard, Natural Flavorings (including Brimstone, Hellfire, and Natural Smoke) and Coloring (but not Black, Yellow, Brown or Red), Garlic Juice (Garlic Juice, Salt), Sodium Erythorbate, Sodium Nitrite, Extractives of Paprika, Sheep Casing. We suspect the beef was from a golden calf.


Tags: 2013(7) 2014(7) business ventures(43) food(44) religion(11) westboro baptist church(2)
Names Mentioned: westboro baptist church(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 130/4252
Added: 08/27/2012

 

Nealotards

For six years, from 2021 to 2027 Neal tried very hard to get the world to pick up male-leotards as the latest fashion trend (he called them Nealotards). Those are known as the "Twenty Twenty Dark Ages" because not only did it occur during the 2020's,... Read More

 

Nealotards - Once you've seen it you can't un-see it.


Tags: 2020s(1) 2021(3) 2022(4) 2027(1) lawsuits(13) neal's fashion sense(20) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: 20/20(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 116/4604
Added: 08/28/2012

 

...and over and over and over...

In 2036 George and Neal started one of the most aggressive research studies into ESP and telepathy (prophecy wasn't included since we already had our time machine and didn't need to know the future). The study was proceeding very well, with huge lea... Read More

Tags: 2036(2) 2037(1) music(25) oops(16) science(28)
Names Mentioned: ides of march(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 168/4316
Added: 09/01/2012

 

Keeping Kosher

Neal enjoys eating pickled pig snouts, but only if they're Kosher. George enjoys eating all the foods his wife won't let him eat.

 

Keeping Kosher - Rabbi Rosenberg's Kosher Pickled Pigs Feet can be found in the eternal damnation section of most grocery stores, next to Cardinal O'Leary's D'Licious Friday Lenten Pickled Tripe, which coincidentally is just down from the Westboro Bun Size Wieners.


Tags: christian(8) food(44) jewish(6) religion(11) westboro baptist church(2)
Names Mentioned: westboro baptist church(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 106/3461
Added: 09/01/2012

 

Welcome aboard Sam!

In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make pottery. So George signed him up for the Fall 1987 pottery classes at Sunny Caverns Park District (... Read More

 

Welcome aboard Sam! - When he was done it walked like a duck, swam like a duck, and quacked like a duck. Unfortunately it still broke like a ceramic pot.

 

Welcome aboard Mike! - And Mike even gave Usain Bolt a 10 meter head start!


Tags: 1987(7) 2012(14) amazing abilities(16) art is art(10) celebrities(69) offspring(13) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: olympics(3) usain bolt(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 165/13384
Added: 09/09/2012

 

Golden Spleens

In 4539 George and Neal decided to dabble in alchemy and turned themselves into golden statues. Luckily the effects were only temporary and by 5935 they were restored to their normal selves. Except for their spleens, which went on to have songs and... Read More

 

Golden Spleens - George's spleen, pictured above, was pretty laid back and didn't let fame and fortune spoil its relaxed attitude.

 

The Spleen Rebels - Neal's spleen, however, took the first opportunity it got to leave its happy, comfy home in Neal's abdomen...

 

Disco Spleen! - ...and hit the night clubs, impressing the ladies, and neglecting its blood scrubbing duties. Lucky for Neal, the spleen is a non-vital organ (but don't tell the spleens that).


Tags: 4539(1) 5935(1) body parts(14) music(25) science(28)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (3)
Views: 1301/4134
Added: 09/23/2012

 

That Bastard Chuck Norris

In 2077 George and Neal revolutionized the mathematical world when they discovered a method of dividing by zero. Yes, Chuck Norris did it first, but he was unwilling to share his ability with others, selfish bastard.

Tags: 2077(1) amazing abilities(16) celebrities(69) mathematics(2)
Names Mentioned: chuck norris(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 139/3916
Added: 09/23/2012

 

Family Week

In September 2012 George took a short break from time travelling, changing history, and altering the laws of physics to spend some more time with his family. On September 3rd he showed the boys how to distort spacial dimensions to grow and shrink at... Read More

 

Family Week - Sam had been wishing to be bigger for a long time. Now, with his new knowledge on dimensional disruption it's only a matter of time before he decides to crush Tokyo.

 

Hipster Flying - Unfortunately, a few minutes after this picture was taken the wind let up and those hipsters made a pretty ironic splat.


Tags: 2012(14) gimme a break(5) offspring(13) science(28) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: canada(4) mexico(2) tokyo(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 123/11196
Added: 09/24/2012

 

Johnson & Johnson's in Rock & Roll

During their chronal adventures, Neal and George discovered a deep, dark secret of the music industry. Apparently for years the Johnson & Johnson company has been clandestinely influencing some of Rock & Roll's greatest artists. George and Neal wer... Read More

Tags: 1998(9) 2010(16) 2014(7) celebrities(69) conspiracy theories(7) in good company(6) music(25)
Names Mentioned: acuvue(1) aerosmith(2) baltimora(1) band-aid(1) chris deburgh(1) dark side of the moon(1) devo(1) eric clapton(1) farm-aid(1) george hardie(1) h o r d e fest(1) johnson & johnson(1) lilith fair(1) lollapalooza(1) ozzy osbourne(2) pink floyd(2) sisqo(1) steven tyler(1) tylenol(1) woodstock(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 174/10381
Added: 09/24/2012

 

Pleasurebots V.6 - Fabio-Bot

Neal can believe it's not butter. George hasn't made up his mind yet. But both Neal and George can't believe Fabio will have his consciousness downloaded into a Pleasurebot V6 in 2021, making us totally rethink the name of that invention.

 

Pleasurebots V.6 - Fabio-Bot - Now that is one sexy tub of butter substitute...


Tags: 2021(3) butter(1) fabio(1) pleasurebot(3) robots(7)
Names Mentioned: fabio(1) i can't believe it's not butter(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 176/2806
Added: 10/18/2012

 

Unintelligent Design

In 2111 George and Neal made waves in the ongoing debate on Evolution vs. Creationism with a new theory of Unintelligent Design, which states that a divine slacker left a bottle of spoiled miracle milk in a great cosmic refrigerator for too long, and... Read More

 

Unintelligent Design - This is an actual photograph that Neal took of the beginning of the Universe. As the smell of curdled divine nectar wafted out of the open bottle, the lavender color of nothing gradually faded to the darkness of interstellar space.


Tags: 2111(2) astronomy(8) evolution(5) food(44) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Names Mentioned: earth(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 109/2923
Added: 10/20/2012

 

A and E: The Origin

However, other times, George and Neal's time (mis)adventures really benefited world languages. For example, in 1232 Neal invented the letter A and George invented the letter E. Until that time A and E were sometimes replaced with I and U respective... Read More

Tags: languages(11) nicknames(14) origin(24) success!(13)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 124/3525
Added: 10/22/2012

 

Apollo 19

In July 1972 George and Neal were members of the Apollo 19 mission to the moon. After landing in the Hyginus Rille region-Linear Rille, crater area. We were part of a team that explored a clutch of crashed extraterrestrial vehicles, several large egg... Read More

 

Apollo 19 - Houston, we have a nanu nanu.


Tags: 1972(3) 1978(5) aliens(5) astronomy(8) science(28) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: houston(1) hyginus rille region-linear rille(1) moon(1) mork and mindy(1) nasa(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 130/3757
Added: 10/22/2012

 

The Bucket List

In 1994 George and Neal decided that, although they had had many adventures and experienced some really amazing things that most other people can't even imagine, there were still some things they would like to do before they kick the bucket. So they... Read More

 

The Bucket List - It didn't take long for George to complete this list. His next list was a "Shovel List" and after that he tried a "Sh*t List", but that didn't turn out so well (the shovels and buckets came in handy though).

 

The Unfinished Bucket List - Oddly enough, Neal completed #9 before he completed #8. His neighbors were thankful, since there's no knowing where Neal's toes have been.


Tags: 1994(4) poop(7) procrastination(5) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Names Mentioned: cincinnati(2) international space station(1) ohio(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 142/3644
Added: 02/11/2013

 

To boldly go...

Unbeknownst to most people, the original Star Trek series was actually a documentary series about George and Neal's adventures. Captain Kirk and his crew were part of a film crew charged with a 5 year mission to explore planets and civilizations tha... Read More

 

To boldly go... - While sneaking on set to check out the progress of the documentary on planet Exo III, Neal was just a little too excited to see that Kirk had found his lost phallus.


Tags: 1960s(2) celebrities(69) phallus(8) science(28) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: james t kirk(1) star trek(2) William Shatner(8)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 726/6443
Added: 02/12/2013

 

The Damnation that was Smurfs

In 2099 scientists astounded the world by developing genetically engineered little blue creatures that wore nothing but white pants and hats. OK, so those scientists were George and Neal. What can we say, we loved the Smurfs. Unfortunately these o... Read More

 

The Damnation that was Smurfs - Until these fiends evolved teeth, wiping out tickled quite a bit and was somewhat enjoyable, in an uncomfortable sort of way, which is exactly how Neal likes to be tickled.


Tags: 2099(1) 2100(1) 2148(1) 2165(1) diseases(9) genetics(16) organizations(15) smurfs(2) sports(23) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: atlantic ocean(2) earth(3) gargamel(2) olympics(3) smurfs(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 193/6814
Added: 02/20/2013

 

We'll never learn...

In 2059, George and Neal did some other awesome stuff, and one thing they are both not very proud of. It involved a tray of ice, a can of motor oil, and an industrial-sized stapler. Either they did this twice or they didn't learn the first time, or m... Read More

Tags: 2059(3) forget this ever happened(9) stapler(3)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 99/1838
Added: 03/22/2013

 

Mace, the other Dark Side

Darth Vader was not Luke's father. A paternity test by Maury Povich revealed to Vader that "You are NOT the father!". After checking six other potential candidates, including Obi-wan Kenobi, Emperor Palpatine, Bail Organa, Lando Calrissian, Command... Read More

 

Mace, the other Dark Side - It's a good thing for Maury that all weapons are collected at the entrance to the television studio before tapings, a full-time job for his security, otherwise he'd have a purple lightsaber in a very uncomfortable place (and no, not like the back of a Volkswagen).


Tags: genetics(16) movies(40) star wars(7) who's your daddy(1)
Names Mentioned: Bail Organa(1) commander cody(1) commander cody and his lost planet airmen(1) darth vader(1) emperor palpatine(1) lando calrissian(1) mace windu(1) mallrats(1) maury povich(1) obi-wan kenobi(1) yoda(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 150/3632
Added: 04/11/2013

 

The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland)

In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they gave up. But with the rise of Nazi Germany there came a renewed interest in flying porcupines, or Fl... Read More

 

The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland) - Too late George and Neal realized that they forgot to teach the porcupines how to land.  There were many civilian casualties when the flock of porcupines decided to try landing in one of those lazy river water parks, popping numerous inner tubes and causing general havoc.


Tags: 1921(1) 1939(1) 1945(2) alamogordo(1) animals(16) argonne(1) bedingungslose kapitulation der wehrmacht(1) britain(9) genetics(16) los alamos(1) manhattan project(1) oak ridge(1) secrets(4) that's what she said(6) wars(4)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) canada(4) germany(1) united states(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 337/5777
Added: 04/19/2013

 

We went fishing and all we caught was awful...

In 1976 George and Neal went fishing. All they caught was a cold, the flu, pneumonia, and scarlet fever. But luckily the lake they were fishing on had a catch and release policy.

Tags: 1976(1) diseases(9) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9) that's what she said(6)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 194/2290
Added: 08/23/2013

 

Rue Bourbon is Distracting

In 2069 George and Neal wrote a musical, called "Home to Where the Sun Rises". The smash hit spent four years on Broadway before touring the world. As of 2162 it has sold out more shows than "Cats", "Phantom", "Les Mis", "Gigli on Broadway", and "... Read More

 

Rue Bourbon is Distracting - Oddly enough the musical didn't play in New Orleans.  We were somehow distracted by Bourbon Street (Neal did manage to 'earn' quite a few beads though.)


Tags: 2069(1) 2162(1) brothel(2) chart topping(4) holidays(8) music(25) religion(11) theater(8)
Names Mentioned: broadway(3) cats(1) gigli(1) house of the rising sun(1) les mis(1) new orleans(1) phantom(1) spamalot(1) the animals(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 595/5293
Added: 08/23/2013

 

The Fashionably Endangered Rosea Zebra

In the 1980s George and Neal discovered the rare Rosea Zebra, or Pink Zebra. These zebras are native to just a very small part of Africa and their discovery led to a dramatic increase in popularity of pink zebra print fashions. Today Pink Zebras ar... Read More

 

The Fashionably Endangered Rosea Zebra - We had nothing to do with the unfortunate domestication and mass farming of the now ubiquitous Fluorescent Spandex Cattle that resulted from the 80s fashion trends.


Tags: 1980s(7) 2000s(2) animals(16) extinction(4) george's fashion sense(12) neal's fashion sense(20)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 332/3337
Added: 09/24/2013

 

Lego Prison

In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators to make it illegal to vacuum up any Lego blocks. Their bill was easily passed into law mostly becaus... Read More

 

Lego Prison - Jail time wasn't so bad for George.  He smuggled in one of those tools that let you take apart stuck Legos and then spent most of the 18 months hanging out with Barbie.


Tags: 1948(2) 1950(3) 2012(14) 2013(7) clarissa(6) julie(5) laws(10) neal funk(18) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) toys(3) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: barbie(2) lego(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 554/13053
Added: 09/30/2013

 

George let the dogs out!

In 1998 George let the dogs out, but he let them back in as soon as they were finished doing their duty. Anslem Douglas didn't believe him though and kept giving him the third degree. He even got the Baha Men to start pestering George. C'mon guys,... Read More

 

George let the dogs out! - Here the dogs are out.

 

George let the dogs back in! - And see, they're back in now.  Now get off my case about it already!!!


Tags: 1998(9) animals(16) forget this ever happened(9) who let the dogs out(2)
Names Mentioned: anslem douglas(1) baha boys(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 110/1969
Added: 10/01/2013

 

Joy to Everyone!

In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make Christmas snow globes that featured a nativity scene and played "Joy to the World" while the snow swi... Read More

 

Joy to Everyone! - It was an honest mistake since the snow globe doubled as a wine stopper and came with a bottle of Three Dog's Mighty Fine wine.


Tags: 2019(2) animals(16) business ventures(43) chart topping(4) christian(8) economy(8) failures(22) great music(4) holidays(8) hot tunes(2) oops(16) religion(11) rock stars(3) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: three dog night(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 170/5570
Added: 10/01/2013

 

Skullets Rock!

In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick tried, but after a few months Patrick decided the mowhawk wasn't an edgy enough hair and it was time... Read More

 

Skullets Rock! - 'The Prime Directive is not just a set of rules; it is a philosophy ... and a very correct one. History has proven again and again that whenever mankind interferes with a less developed civilization, no matter how well intentioned that interference may be, the results are invariably disastrous, but not as disastrous as this hair cut.' - Jean Luc Picard'Messing with less developed civilizations is fun!' - George and Neal


Tags: 1983(6) 1984(10) 1987(7) celebrities(69) cool(3) evolution(5) extreme makeover(2) george's fashion sense(12) hair(11) in good company(6) kicking ass(16) movies(40) no shave november(2) people of history(33) tv shows(48) two heads are only slightly better than one(2)
Names Mentioned: dune(1) frank herbert(1) gurney halleck(1) jean luc picard(1) patrick stewart(1) robert h. justman(1) star trek(2) ucla(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 280/13632
Added: 11/21/2013

 

Yes, they really said that.

In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly travelling back in time and stalking people until they said something profound (or not so much as the cas... Read More

 

Yes, they really said that. - Volume 1 had over 1000 pages.  Volume 2 had 1200 pages.  Volume 3 had nearly 1500 pages.  Unfortunately 3400 of the 3700 pages were blank.


Tags: 2024(1) bette midler(4) cool(3) einstein(3) in good company(6) Inspirations(19) mental trauma(8) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) people of history(33) publications(14) revenge(6) rip-offs(3) rock stars(3) success!(13) time machine(37) we don't get it either(3)
Names Mentioned: abraham lincoln(2) alan alda(1) albert einstein(3) bette midler(5) bob dylan(1) camille paglia(1) carl sagan(1) cleopatra(2) colonel sanders(1) dom deluise(1) gandhi(1) george a. custer(1) j. s. bach(1) joan of ard(1) napoleon bonaparte(1) ozzy osborne(1) queen elizabeth ii(1) salvador dali(1) steven king(1) william wallace(1) wolfgang amadeus mozart(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 199/10761
Added: 11/30/2013

 

He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!'

The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police box (their Rock Smoothie Machine looks more like a port-a-potty), they aren't time lords from anothe... Read More

 

He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!' - The Time Machine on a relaxing jaunt to pre-Ice Age Siberia.  Or was it Serbia?  Or Suburbia?


Tags: doctor who(1) gallifrey(1) nicknames(14) rip-offs(3) smoothies(7) they stole our ideas(7) time machine(37) tv shows(48) two hearts are only slightly better than one(1) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: doctor who(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 141/6947
Added: 12/05/2013

 

Need More Conventions!!!

By 2031 there were so many comic conventions and expos (including Comic-Con, WizCon, APE, C2E2, WonderCon, Comikaze, C4, MegaCon, Sac-Con, Pros & Con, Com-Con-Chameleon, Thimblecon, thousands of local comic conventions, and many more) that George and... Read More

 

Need More Conventions!!! - Attendees quickly began a tradition of dressing up as their favorite Comic Convention.  The costumes weren't quite as awe inspiring as those at said conventions, but there's a venue for everyone's passions!


Tags: 2031(1) 2042(1) art is art(10) business ventures(43) charisma points(2) comics(2) competition(10) costumes(4) crimes & scams(16) government(16) inspirations(19) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) organizations(15) politics(9) success!(13) super heroes(3) thimblecon(2) thimbles(2)
Names Mentioned: a dream of spring(1) a song of ice and fire(1) ape(1) awesome con dc(1) c2e2(1) c4(1) card and nostalgia show(1) cleveland comic(1) comic-con(1) comikaze(1) dan rostenkowski(1) george h. ryan(1) george r. r. martin(1) megacon(1) orville hodge(1) rod blagojevich(2) sac-con(1) wizcon(1) wondercon(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 161/7978
Added: 12/08/2013

 

Joanie Loves Churros

In 1978 a temporary glitch in George and Neal's Time Machine (well, not so much a glitch as Neal spilling a tub of Tang drink mix onto the controls - you'd think a time machine originally designed for making smoothies would be more resilient) caused ... Read More

 

Joanie Loves Churros - Doesn't that just make you want to have a churro?  If you need a churro right now, join others just like you here: I Need a Churro


Tags: 1978(5) candy crush(2) celebrities(69) chart topping(4) facebook(10) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) smoothies(7) things neal eats(8) time machine(37) time paradoxes are fun(4) tv shows(48) websites(7)
Names Mentioned: Charles In Charge(1) happy days(1) joanie loves chachi(1) scott baio(8) tang(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 177/7830
Added: 03/28/2014

 

Lava Lamps: The Origin

In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward Craven-Walker stole Neal's idea. Craven-Walker's variation was much more successful and in 1968 he... Read More

 

Lava Lamps: The Origin - It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much.  They had a tendency to explode.  And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place.  (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)


Tags: 1960(1) 1963(2) 1968(4) blends(3) body parts(14) business ventures(43) first(3) inspirations(19) inventions(47) mental trauma(8) neal funk(18) people of history(33) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: Edward Craven-Walker(1) lava lamp(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 250/7260
Added: 04/11/2014

 

World Record for Longest Time Chewing Gum

In 2032 George decided to attempt the world record for the longest time continuously chewing a piece of gum (previously listed as 417 days). He was going strong and thought he was going to break the record when his jaw cramped up on day 210. Neal, ... Read More

 

World Record for Longest Time Chewing Gum - This snapshot was taken during one of the several days that we shared chewing responsibilities.


Tags: 2032(2) oops(16) things neal eats(8) world records(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 8656/4522
Added: 04/11/2014

 

Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber Want to Be Us!

In an effort to ride the coattails of our success, in 2013 Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber began their own adventures, chronicling their own sagas through such outlets as TMZ, Huffington Post, Perez Hilton, E!, and your local police reports. While Mil... Read More

 

Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber Want to Be Us! - We know it's difficult to tell some times, but that's Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus in the left photo and Neal Simon and George Jaros in the right photo.  (Or is it the other way around, we get confused, too.)


Tags: 2013(7) miley cyrus is totally in this post in every way(1) our dance moves(1) paparazzi(1) power tools(2) twerking(1)
Names Mentioned: E!(1) huffington post(1) justin bieber(1) miley cyrus(1) perez hilton(1) tmz(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 295/4906
Added: 04/11/2014

 

When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin

In 1906 George accidentally originated the popular phrase "When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade." This phrase was later published in Volume 26, Issue 5 of Men's Wear magazine in January 1909 before Elbert Hubbard used in in Reader's Digest in O... Read More

 

When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin - We're really not sure why Neal's idea didn't catch on.  At least the lemurs really like the blend of raspberries, strawberries, dragon fruit, blood orange, pomegranate, beets, red cabbage, rhubarb, currants, cherries, cranberries, cherry tomatoes, and rambuten.


Tags: 1909(1) 1927(3) 1948(2) animals(16) blends(3) business ventures(43) etymology(4) first(3) in good company(6) inspirations(19) origin(24) people of history(33) rhubarb(4) smoothies(7) spellcheck wants to change rambuten to perambulate(1) they stole our ideas(7) things neal eats(8)
Names Mentioned: dale carnegie(2) elbert hubbard(1) how to stop worrying and start living(1) men's wear magazine(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 505/12146
Added: 04/11/2014

 

Who's the Bossasaur?

In 1904, just one year after Elmer Riggs published his paper stating that Apatosaurus and Brontosaurus were the same creature, George and Neal discovered the skeleton of a brand new sauropod during an archeological dig in Turkey Creek Canyon near Mor... Read More

 

Who's the Bossasaur? - Coca-Cola Communications insisted on including Clem (on the left) in the animated series.  George and Neal responded with "Who?"


Tags: 1904(1) 1980s(7) 1987(7) 1988(6) 78000543 bce(1) dinosaurs(2) people of history(33) time machine(37) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: Apatosaurus(1) brontosaurus(1) cherry coke(1) coca-cola company(1) coca-cola telecommunications(1) coke ii(1) diet coke(1) dinosaucers(1) elmer riggs(1) new coke(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 392/9966
Added: 04/12/2014

 

The Wilhelm Scream and Other Sounds

The Wilhelm Scream is pretty well known for being a sound effect used in many, many movies. What is less well known is that George and Neal also provided sound effects that have been used in numerous movies, too. George made the original Jaros Yode... Read More

Tags: amazing abilities(16) get aural(2) great music(4) in good company(6) mental trauma(8) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) movies(40) music(25) sounds our bodies can make(1) turn it up and rock out(1) tv shows(48) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: wilhelm scream(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 306/10821
Added: 04/24/2014

 

That Crazy Bette

On April 25, 2014 Bette Midler was finally successful in her dastardly plot to capture Neal and George. Using a baked lasagna she was able to lure them into her trap (truthfully they suspected a trap all along, but thought it was for Garfield and wa... Read More

 

That Crazy Bette - Luckily George and Neal were rescued by George and Neal before their fate was the same as the poor saps in the other stasis pods.  Neal wasn't frightened by that though, it was Bette's prancing that worried him.


Tags: 2014(7) 2015(9) 2016(8) celebrities(69) lasagna(2) strange disappearances(2) things george eats(2) things neal eats(8) time paradoxes are fun(4) vajazzled(3)
Names Mentioned: bette midler(5)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 138/2933
Added: 12/31/2015

 

We Made Bon Jovi Cool

In early 1986 Bon Jovi was working on their album Slippery When Wet. Because their previous album wasn't as successful as they had hoped, they hired professional songwriter Desmond Child as a collaborator. He helped write some of the biggest hits f... Read More

 

We Made Bon Jovi Cool - The original album cover is also something we recommended be changed.  But in hindsight, maybe Bon Jovi should have kept it...


Tags: 1986(8) music(25) success!(13) things we made better(3) we built this city on rock and roll(3) we wrote that(2)
Names Mentioned: Bon Jovi(1) Desmond Child(1) Jon Bon Jovi(1) Richie Sambora(1) Slippery When Wet(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 149/1721
Added: 01/03/2016

 

George the Merciless

On a visit to 1932 George and Neal met with Alex Raymond and related some of this Saga. Alex was inspired and two years later created Flash Gordon, a fairly accurate retelling of some of our adventures. Though the personalities are different, Raymo... Read More

 

George the Merciless - Ming really was one good looking dude.  Totally psychotic, but he made psychotic look good.


Tags: 1932(2) 1934(2) 1970s(3) 2026(2) 2028(2) 2034(2) Dr. Hans Zarkov(1) Flash Gordon(1) George(3) inspirations(19) Ming the Merciless(1) Neal(3) Not Flesh Gordon(1) Science Fiction Is Based on Reality(1)
Names Mentioned: Alex Raymond(1) Dr. Hans Zarkov(1) Flash Gordon(1) Ming the Merciless(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 124/1996
Added: 01/04/2016

 

Say Anything (That Won't Get You Arrested)

In 1988 Neal's infatuation with John Cusack reached an all-time high. John was generally pretty cool with it, but during the filming of Say Anything Neal went just a little too far (apparently hiding in the back seat of John's 1976 Blue Chevy Malibu... Read More

 

Say Anything (That Won't Get You Arrested) - Although John Cusack was able to complete the scene after body slamming Neal, Neal didn't get the message and pursued John for years, until he found out that John's sister was Ann Cusack and redirected his attentions her way.


Tags: 1988(6) 1998(9) celebrities(69) forget this ever happened(9) groin kick(3) in your eyes(1) inspirations(19) mental trauma(8) neal(3) nightmares(2) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13)
Names Mentioned: Ann Cusack(1) john cusack(1) john malkovich(1) say anything(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 84/1850
Added: 05/26/2016

 

World's Firster Selfie

After Neal claimed to be in the first "selfie", George decided to both photobomb that "selfie" and then one-up Neal (because that's what he does). So in 1433 George joined the Early Netherlandish master Jan van Eyck in painting "Portrait of Two Men ... Read More

 

World's Firster Selfie - 3 days of sitting there while van Eyck painted and he never once offered George a cool turban.

 

 - Neal hasn't had a figure like that since, well, since that time he jumped out of the cake for that Under Siege movie.

 

 - We seriously had no idea those dinosaurs were back there.  Gee, the things you find when you develop your film...


Tags: .1365 BCE(1) .72443018 bce(1) 1433(1) ancient egypt(2) dinosaurs dude!(1) movies(40) selfie(2) time machine(37) time travel(3)
Names Mentioned: Akhenaten(1) bak(1) jan van eyck(1) under siege(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (3)
Views: 71/1009
Added: 07/11/2016

 

The World's Gone Tipsy

In 1932 the Italian government hired George to stabilize the Leaning Tower of Pisa to prevent its collapse. Starting during its construction and continuing until George's stabilization project the tower gradually shifted to lean 5.5 degrees. But Ge... Read More

 

The World's Gone Tipsy - It also doubles as a motorcycle ramp, perfect for jumping things, like sharks!

 

 - Now she really looks French.  Too much wine Frenchy?

 

 - 1,000 mortal souls were sacrificed on this spot.  That's what happens when Neal visits after having the local burritos.

 

 - Apparently one of the trees was attached to one of the spider silk support cables...


 

 - Hey look, Notre Dame is French, too!  Too much wine Frenchy?

 

 - The crookedness of the castle now matches the crookedness of the spelling (and pronunciation).  ...Neuschwanstein... (Gesundheit!)

 

 - They now have a problem with flooding.  We'll fix that in 2094...

 

 - Not French, but I hear he's big on wine, too, especially with all that water around...


 

 - China immediately claimed that the Hall of Supreme Harmony is still perfectly straight, it's the rest of the world that is leaning.


Tags: 1932(2) 1989(3) 2001(8) 2038(1) africa(3) ancient egypt(2) ancient wonders(9) architecture(1) asia(2) collapse of civilization(3) europe(4) george's genious(1) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) neal's thighs(1) north america(2) south america(3) we built this city on rock and roll(3)
Names Mentioned: Bodiam Castle(1) castle neuschwanstein(1) chichen itza(1) christ the redeemer(1) el castillo(1) forbidden city(1) great pyramid at giza(2) hall of supreme harmony(1) leaning tower of pisa(1) notre-dame cathedral(1) statue of liberty(1) taj mahal(1) temple of kukulkan(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (9)
Views: 136/2190
Added: 07/26/2016

 

Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson

Unbeknownst to many, and typical for a Hollywood film, 2000s blockbuster hit Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was nowhere near as good as the Broadway musical it was based on, which also starred Tom Hanks and, coincidentally, Neal. Neal played the ico... Read More

 

Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson - Neal was just as excited by Hanks' hairy chest and nipples as Hanks was to make fire.


Tags: 2000(7) celebrities(69) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) movies(40) relationships(6) scantily clad people(15) success!(13) theater(8) things we made better(3) those look like comfortable shoes(2)
Names Mentioned: Cast Away(1) Tom Hanks(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 87/1710
Added: 08/08/2016

 

There is No Zero!

In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has been stricken from historical records.

Tags: 0(1) 1966(1) ancient wonders(9) annoying fads(2) australia(2) clem(3) collapse of civilization(3) costumes(4) creamed corn(2) extinction(4) food poisoning(2) foot odor(2) forget this ever happened(9) genetics(16) george funk(11) good vibrations(2) great music(4) groin kick(3) historic events(18) History(13) hollandaise sauce(2) israeli food(2) jaguanst(8) kicking ass(16) lasagna(2) lawsuits(13) lotion(2) neal funk(18) oops(16) party like its 1999(2) people of history(33) phallus(8) platypus(4) pleasurebot(3) poop(7) power tools(2) pudding(2) reasons julie weeps(2) revenge(6) rhubarb(4) scantily clad people(15) stinky feet(2) strange disappearances(2) things george eats(2) things neal eats(8) things we made better(3) time paradoxes are fun(4) time travel(3) turtles & tortoises(3) vajazzled(3) wives(15) xxx(11) zoos and farm animals(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 110/3425
Added: 09/21/2016

 

If You Survive the Looks You'll Be Tickled Smaragdine...

You know that saying, "If looks could kill"? Well, for a short period in 1868 some looks actually could kill. Glares, frowns, and the evil eye were often incapacitating and occasionally fatal. Luckily George and Neal were around and everyone was s... Read More

 

If You Survive the Looks You'll Be Tickled Smaragdine... - You really can't tell from this picture, mainly because it is in black and white, but the 1868 graduating class from the US Naval Academy in Annapolis is definitely tickled pink (except for the front row, they were tickled glaucous.


Tags: 1868(1) annapolis(1) glaucous(1) historic events(18) smaragdine(1) us naval academy(1)
Names Mentioned: Annapolis(1) us naval academy(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 46/616
Added: 10/28/2016

 

Chewie Wookie Cookies

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... As a young girl, Princess Leia Organa was a member of the Alderaan Starflower Girl Scout Troop. Her troop was one of the first in the Core Worlds, but began to struggle with funding as a result of increa... Read More

 

Chewie Wookie Cookies - Today's most popular selling cookie is the Thin Mint, but in Leia's time the most popular variety were the Chewie Wookie cookies.


Tags: are girl scout cookies made from real girl scouts?(1) cookie(2) cookies(2) food(44) it's not all about us(1) recipes(9) star wars(7)
Names Mentioned: girl scout cookies(1) girl scouts(1) princess leia(1) star wars(6)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 71/434
Added: 03/08/2017

 

It's a buffet, not a Buffett...

In 2121 Neal was stranded in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a desert island. However, Neal couldn't spell and thought he was on a dessert island. He spent the next year and a half eating nothing but sand, bark, and the occasional wandering crab... Read More

 

It's a buffet, not a Buffett... - Although it was in tropical latitudes, it's a good thing George had his winter gear.  All that ice cream made the air pretty chilly.  Yummy, but chilly.


Tags: 1980s(7) 2121(3) clem(3) edentulous(2) George(3) george and neal(2) things neal eats(8) toothpaste(4)
Names Mentioned: jimmy buffett(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 15/71
Added: 08/06/2017

 

Give me a head with hair, weird, awkward hair...

In 2017 George and Neal decided to start a new hairstyle fad. Instead of the refined, prim, manicured look that they made popular for most of the previous decade they both decided to skip the weekly stylist visits and nightly shampoo/conditioner/bru... Read More

 

Give me a head with hair, weird, awkward hair... - George just got more and more hair everywhere, except where he needed it most.  Neal's hair took on the form of the animal spirits he had sacrificed to his hair in years past.


Tags: 2017(2) animals(16) fashion(2) hair(11)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 16/25
Added: 08/07/2017

 

Pre-Pre-Plagarism

On April 1, 2023, Neal was constantly repeating everything that George said. It was later discovered that as a practical joke George used the time traveling machine to go back in time to learn what Neal was about to say, then said it moments before ... Read More

Tags: A Confederacy of Dunces(2) April Fools(2) emile bronte(2) John Kennedy Toole(2) oscar wilde(2) The Picture of Dorian Gray(2) wuthering heights(2)
Names Mentioned: A Confederacy of Dunces(2) Emile Bronte(2) john kennedy toole(2) Oscar Wilde(2) the picture of dorian gray(2) Wuthering Heights(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 3/84
Added: 08/09/2017



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