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Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh....

Entry Logged on: September 06, 2009 to Part 2 by: Neal
Page Views: 192 - Times Displayed: 7195

In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have been cloned many times over as George and Neal can't seem to get enough of them), George and Neal gathered the best and brightest scientific minds (read: just the two of them - oh, and they also included Stephen Hawking, not because he's as smart as Neal and George (he's not), but rather because they liked hearing Hawking's melodious robotic voice). The goal: discover a way to eliminate the need to potty train children. Two hours later, the solution was discovered. George and Neal combined the awesome, near-supernatural powers of duct tape and children's pottys, and revealed their newest invention, the "Toilet Tush Taper" (aka "Poop Cubed") to the world. (((Patent (and significantly better name) pending.))) This invention did not sell well, though, after someone realized that the "invention" of taping a toilet to a child's touchas was really the same thing as a diaper. A much heavier, messier, terrible diaper. Red Green was impressed at the ingenious use of duct tape though.

Tags: 2036(2) celebrities(69) failures(22) inventions(48) offspring(13) poop(7) science(28) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: red green(1) stephen hawking(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

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Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: red green(1), stephen hawking(1)

Tags:
  • 2036 - (1 Other Entry)
    • ...and over and over and over... - In 2036 George and Neal started one of the most aggressive research studies into ESP and telepathy (prophecy wasn't included since we already had our ...
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • Don Cherry's Wardrobe: The Origin - George and Neal are in charge or Don Cherry's wardrobe.
    • Goodby Kimmie! - In December, 2011 Neal and George did the world a favor by getting rid of Kim Jong Il using a technique they spent decades perfecting. The "Remote Hea...
    • Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Te...
    • Just Good Ol' Boys - In 1982 Neal and George played the roles of Coy and Vance respectively when John Schneider and Tom Wopat (Bo and Luke) walked off the set of the Dukes...
    • 2008 Election Campaigns - During the 2008 election season, George and Neal were hired by Barack Obama's marketing team to come up with catchy ditties about the man. After writi...
    • Show All...
  • failures - (21 Other Entries)
    • Samhain and Zarathosht Diso - A second attempt to unite the religious holidays of Samhain and Zarathosht Diso was equally disastrous since neither of them was Wiccan or Zoroastrian...
    • A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... - A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, nothing happened because Star Wars was just a story made up by George Lucas (although the plot was loosely...
    • Couch Potatoes Illustrated - Hearing about the steep decline in readers for magazines such as Sports Illustrated and Men's Health, George and Neal decided to start their own magaz...
    • Team Ghandi - In 1972, not satisfied with only two teams, Neal and George created Chicago's third major league baseball team, Team Ghandi. Unfortunately, the team n...
    • HeadPeriodical - In an effort to compete with Facebook, during 2011, Neal and George created the newest online community, HeadPeriodical. Seen by most as a cheap rip-o...
    • Show All...
  • inventions - (47 Other Entries)
    • We'd Need a Thneed Indeed! - In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industr...
    • Sleep Sleep Revolution - Hoping to get in on the "full body motion" video games made popular by the Wii and XBox Kinect, George and Neal invented "Sleep Sleep Revolution." Sa...
    • GONADS - In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device t...
    • PDD Reactor - In 2068 George and Neal invented the PDD Reactor, a source of nearly endless energy. It converts Poopy Disposable Diapers into highly efficient energy...
    • Ice Cream Sandwich: The Origin - In 1931, Neal made the mistake of ordering 10,000 loaves of chocolate wafers. (Okay, it wasn't a mistake - he just liked chocolate. It was a weak mome...
    • Show All...
  • offspring - (12 Other Entries)
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
    • Zoo Trip Time Machine - In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done t...
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
    • Metric Woes - Unable to persuade America to convert to the Metric system, in 2087 George and Neal successfully convinced America to abandon their current measuring ...
    • International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
    • Show All...
  • poop - (6 Other Entries)
    • Cold Fusion - In 2035 George and Neal (using their time machine again) discovered the secret to producing Cold Fusion power. Unfortunately at the time they didn't r...
    • The Bucket List - In 1994 George and Neal decided that, although they had had many adventures and experienced some really amazing things that most other people can't ev...
    • Paper Product Hoarders - In 1994 George began his extensive napkin collection. He collected paper cafeteria napkins and stored them in school lockers around the world. Aroun...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • Everybody Poops - In 1984, Bantam Books contacted George and Neal, requesting they write and illustrate a book for their Choose Your Own Adventure book line. George and...
    • Show All...
  • science - (27 Other Entries)
    • Fun With Genetics - Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted li...
    • The Lazy X - In 1987, while working on their little known chromosome research project, George and Neal discovered that the Y chromosome was merely a "lazy X" chrom...
    • Cow Experimentation - In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high in...
    • Phhhhlbtttt!!! - In 1927 there were actually 14 months to the year. Elevember came after December and Simbulary came after April. Earth revolved around the sun a bit s...
    • To boldly go... - Unbeknownst to most people, the original Star Trek series was actually a documentary series about George and Neal's adventures. Captain Kirk and his ...
    • Show All...
  • wives - (14 Other Entries)
    • Them Amazing Ladies - In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ...
    • El Niño and La Niña - On a trip to northwestern Peru in 1923 George and Neal both befriended and eventually married the Lopez sisters. The sisters gave birth to two childre...
    • He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!' - The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police ...
    • Lego Prison - In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators t...
    • Pleasurebots: The Origin - 2011: As a result of all of George and Neal's time traveling they were away from home a good portion of the time. In an effort to provide comfort to t...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • A Meme is Born - LOLcats: The Origin - In 1821 George and Neal had a very nice lunch with Charles Babbage, but at one point George brought out his laptop for a quick check of his Facebook a...
  • The Damnation that was Smurfs - In 2099 scientists astounded the world by developing genetically engineered little blue creatures that wore nothing but white pants and hats. OK, so ...
  • Why Read For Free What You Can Pay Money For? - Then there was the time that the entire George and Neal saga appeared in book purchasable book form, on Blurb.com (http://www.blurb.com/b/8323918-the-...
  • That Bastard Chuck Norris - In 2077 George and Neal revolutionized the mathematical world when they discovered a method of dividing by zero. Yes, Chuck Norris did it first, but ...
  • Happy Chomp-akah - Wanting to "shake things up" for the next Hanukah, in 2013 Neal invented "Tleg", the exact opposite of Gelt - chocolate on the outside, gold foil on t...


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