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Breakin'!

Views: 193/3494
Added: 02/15/2009

In 1984, George starred in the movie "Breakin'!" as Master Shabazz. In 1986, Neal, in an effort to follow in his friend's footsteps, starred in the movie "Breakin'! 2: Electric Boogaloo" as Funkmaster Funky Funk McFunkster. The acting skills exhibited by both gentlemen led to critical acclaim in both "Sucka! Magazine" and "What Willis Was Talking About Quarterly". George and Neal (widely known as collectively as "NeOrge") are currently on their fifty-first draft of the script, "Breakin'! 3: Hips a'Poppin!".

 

Breakin'! - This magazine ain't for the suckas!

This magazine ain't for the suckas!

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1984(10) 1986(8) movies(40) nicknames(14) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: breakin'!(1) breakin'! 2: electric boogaloo(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Hollow Earth

Views: 381/4721
Added: 03/27/2009

On and off for 35,000 years George and Neal worked on hollowing out the Earth. The dirt we hauled out was used to make the moon. The interior of the Earth is inhabited by numerous prehistoric creatures, fantastic races of humans, and even creatures that the rest of the world believes to be mythical (unicorns, giants, C.H.U.D.s, cyclops, Paris Hilton, minotaurs, dragons, and smurfs are just a few). Our hollowed out Earth has inspired numerous stories (Jules Verne's Journey to the Center of the Earth, Edgar Allan Poe's The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket, Scrooge McDuck's Land Beneath the Ground!, and Frank C. Baxter's The Mole People to name a few) as well as pseudo-scientific cults like The Thule Society and the Steven Currey Expeditions who believe this is a natural phenomenon. It has also given rise to the theory that the moon is also hollow, which is just absurd.

Tags: conspiracy theories(7) moon(2) mythological critters(7) organizations(15) people of history(33) publications(14) save the aminals(6)
Names Mentioned: arthur gordon pym(1) edgar allan poe(1) frank c. baxter(1) jules verne(1) nantucket(1) paris hilton(1) scrooge mcduck(1) steven currey(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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1964 through 1969

Views: 225/4877
Added: 03/28/2009

In 1983 Neal and George co-wrote a short story that chronicled their adventures from 1964 through 1969. The story was well received in the literary community and we received several offers to turn the story into full length novels. We approved two authors to take our story and develop their own interpretations. Both books (the latter actually a series of four books) became best sellers and eventually were turned into screenplays as well. Band of Brothers was a huge success as an HBO mini-series. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants also became a box-office hit and spawned a sequel movie that actually was more true to actual events than the books.

 

1964 through 1969 - So very much happened during those five years.

So very much happened during those five years.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1964(2) 1969(2) 1983(6) inspirations(19) movies(40) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: band of brothers(1) hbo(1) sisterhood of the travelling pants(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Allergic to Peanuts

Views: 169/4957
Added: 04/06/2009

In 1950 George created a comic strip about a short bald kid that everyone picked on. The strip competed closely with another very similar comic strip for decades. Each week George would come up with a great idea only to have it copied almost exactly by the other strip the following week. For some reason that other strip gained fame and notoriety and George's strip never left the pages of some obscure publications. So remember, Sam Tan and his pals were the original Pistachio Kids and that rag-tag Peanuts gang was just a bunch of copy cats. Neal also started a comic strip about a feisty cat named Garfcliff in 1970, but due to mismanagement Neal was forced by the government to divide up his strip and sell off the separate components, thus resulting in two successful comic strips. Garfield and Heathcliff fared much better without Neal's guidance.

Tags: 1950(3) cats(8) comics(2) government(16) peanuts(6) publications(14) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: charles m. schulz(1) charlie brown(3) garfield(1) george gately(1) heathcliff(1) jim davis(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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HeadPeriodical

Views: 167/4382
Added: 05/27/2009

In an effort to compete with Facebook, during 2011, Neal and George created the newest online community, HeadPeriodical. Seen by most as a cheap rip-off and inferior to FB, the website was largely dismissed. Their advertising campaign, "Because Your Grandma Thinks You're Cool" made little sense and did little to help.

Tags: 2011(8) business ventures(44) facebook(10) failures(22) publications(14) websites(7)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Facebroke

Views: 187/3464
Added: 06/01/2009

On June 1, 2009 Neal broke Facebook, preventing George from uploading his latest awesome photos. This apparent sabotage was too little, too late for HeadPeriodical. Or rather, too little, too early, since HeadPeriodical wouldn't be created for another two years. Damn time machine...

Tags: facebook(10) oops(16) publications(14) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Everybody Poops

Views: 177/5243
Added: 07/23/2009

In 1984, Bantam Books contacted George and Neal, requesting they write and illustrate a book for their Choose Your Own Adventure book line. George and Neal decided to adapt their favorite book, Everybody Poops, as a choose your own adventure book. Unfortunately, there was really only one possible ending to the book, making it somewhat of a pointless adaption.

 

Everybody Poops - George and Neal's favorite book. Second favorite? Most People Wipe.

George and Neal's favorite book. Second favorite? Most People Wipe.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1984(10) poop(7) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: bantam books(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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What's a Typewriter?

Views: 673/6258
Added: 08/13/2009

In 2025 George and Neal received a grant from the US government to study the long held belief that if you give a billion monkeys a billion typewriters eventually they'll type the complete works of Shakespeare. Unfortunately our study ended prematurely after 32 years when one of the monkeys figured out how to convert the typewriter into a jackhammer and broke all the other monkeys out of our research facility. We were however left with several Stephen King novels, three seasons of Saturday Night Live, the 1876 edition of the Farmers Almanac, and "How to Win Friends & Influence People" translated to Klingon, not to mention a very stinky research facility.

 

What's a Typewriter? - The Klingon Language Edition of "How to Win Friends & Influence People" quickly became the best selling edition. Who would have thought that people who speak Klingon would need friends or would like to influence people?

The Klingon Language Edition of "How to Win Friends & Influence People" quickly became the best selling edition. Who would have thought that people who speak Klingon would need friends or would like to influence people?

Photo by: George

Tags: 2025(1) animals(16) languages(11) publications(14) save the aminals(6) science(28) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: dale carnegie(2) farmers almanac(1) how to win friends and influence people(1) saturday night live(1) start trek(1) stephen king(1) william shakespeare(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Facemag - Hell on Osteoporosis

Views: 131/3859
Added: 08/20/2009

In early 2010, in an attempt to attract the age 80+ and technophobe demographics, as well as providing an alternate supply for the Facebook addicts, George and Neal brokered an agreement with cNet Publishing and Facebook for a monthly printed edition of Facebook called "Facemag - your offline fix". The magazine is roughly 900 pages each month of status updates, quizzes, and pictures submitted by subscribers the month before via snail mail. It also contains pointless advertisements, recommendations for things you might like but actually don't, and thousands upon thousands of little card inserts for all sorts of useless stuff (it falls all over the place and makes a huge mess as soon as you open the magazine). And of course there's the monthly feature: The Latest in the Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! It's not quite as fast paced as its online counterpart, but it's just as big a waste of time.

 

Facemag - Hell on Osteoporosis - The Large Print edition was over four times as thick, and this was just the second issue. By 2012 the standard print edition was over 3 feet thick.

The Large Print edition was over four times as thick, and this was just the second issue. By 2012 the standard print edition was over 3 feet thick.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2010(16) business ventures(44) facebook(10) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: cnet publishing(1) facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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There's Waldo!!!

Views: 152/6387
Added: 09/04/2009

In 1998, Neal became overwhelmingly frustrated when he tried to crack the mysteries of the complex literary tome, "Where's Waldo?" After a near-breakdown, George decided to help his friend, as well as the public at large, by publishing "There's Waldo, Right Freakin' There". It became an overnight sensation, quickly selling out multiple editions and translated into 58 languages (Though, other than the title, there wasn't much to translate). George and Neal are set to publish their next traumatic/educational book, "Where in the Morgue is Carmen Sandiego?"

 

There's Waldo!!! - Even so, it took Neal about 35 minutes to find Waldo.

Even so, it took Neal about 35 minutes to find Waldo.

Photo by: Neal

 

Where in the Morgue is Carmen Sandiego? - Described as "more disturbing than Hostel 2", this game was banned in most language-speaking countries. Despite this, George and Neal have decided to continue working on their next project, "The Magic School Bus: Field Trip to the Abattoir".

Described as "more disturbing than Hostel 2", this game was banned in most language-speaking countries. Despite this, George and Neal have decided to continue working on their next project, "The Magic School Bus: Field Trip to the Abattoir".

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1998(9) education(9) games(15) languages(11) mental trauma(8) publications(14) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: the magic school bus(1) where in the world is carmen sandiego(1) where's waldo(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)

 
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Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy

Views: 605/4703
Added: 09/13/2009

In 2004, George and Neal publish their educational children's book, "Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy". The book was a hit, especially in the "Males, ages 13-18" demographic. There was much praise. And lawsuits. Lots and lots of those.

 

Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy - Above: Mandatory curriculum in President Obama's Education Recovery Effort.

Above: Mandatory curriculum in President Obama's Education Recovery Effort.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2004(3) education(9) lawsuits(13) obama(4) publications(14) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: barack obama(4) harold and the purple crayon(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Couch Potatoes Illustrated

Views: 146/3553
Added: 12/10/2009

Hearing about the steep decline in readers for magazines such as Sports Illustrated and Men's Health, George and Neal decided to start their own magazine to capture those increasingly less-active readers. In December, 2009, George and Neal started their own magazine, Couch Potatoes Illustrated. With articles such as "How to Increase Your Lazy Boy Butt Imprint," "Which Brand of Doritos is Right For You" and "20 Ways to Please Your...Self", demand for the magazine was high. Unfortunately, none of the would-be subscribers had enough energy to purchase the magazine, resulting in cancellation after one issue.

Tags: 2009(21) business ventures(44) failures(22) publications(14) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Names Mentioned: doritos(1) sports illustrated(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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The Idiots Guide To Circumcision

Views: 151/5249
Added: 08/24/2012

In 1995, George and Neal published the first ever "Idiots Guide To..." book under the pseudonyms "Astronauts Thomas D. Jones, Ph.D. and Michael Benson", respectively. Unfortunately, it was only after printing 10,000 copies that they realized there was little market for The Idiots Guide To Circumcision. (That there were "full color illustrations" did not improve sales.)

 

The Idiots Guide To Circumcision - Upon reflection, we probably shouldn't have included a "Tips" section in each chapter.

Upon reflection, we probably shouldn't have included a "Tips" section in each chapter.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: jewish(6) nicknames(14) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: complete idiot's guide(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Yes, they really said that.

Views: 241/11714
Added: 11/30/2013

In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly travelling back in time and stalking people until they said something profound (or not so much as the case may be). The book was a best seller... for them, which means it really didn't sell well at all. Here's a sampling of a few of the more than 300 insights they collected:

 

Yes, they really said that. - Volume 1 had over 1000 pages.  Volume 2 had 1200 pages.  Volume 3 had nearly 1500 pages.  Unfortunately 3400 of the 3700 pages were blank.

Volume 1 had over 1000 pages. Volume 2 had 1200 pages. Volume 3 had nearly 1500 pages. Unfortunately 3400 of the 3700 pages were blank.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2024(1) bette midler(4) cool(3) einstein(3) in good company(6) Inspirations(19) mental trauma(8) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) people of history(33) publications(14) revenge(6) rip-offs(3) rock stars(3) success!(13) time machine(37) we don't get it either(3)
Names Mentioned: abraham lincoln(2) alan alda(1) albert einstein(3) bette midler(5) bob dylan(1) camille paglia(1) carl sagan(1) cleopatra(2) colonel sanders(1) dom deluise(1) gandhi(1) george a. custer(1) j. s. bach(1) joan of ard(1) napoleon bonaparte(1) ozzy osborne(1) queen elizabeth ii(1) salvador dali(1) steven king(1) william wallace(1) wolfgang amadeus mozart(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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