The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


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'2010' Tagged Entries

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16 Tagged Entries  
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Infecting 1002

Views: 166/6370
Added: 02/22/2009

In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrived in 1002. They tagged along with a group of colonists, accidentally spreading an epidemic among the Viking colony in Greenland. It's true. Neal didn't just totally wikipedia what happened in 1002 to add it to this. The epidemic was simply the common cold, but the 2010 version of the virus had mutated so much from what was around in 1002. Because of it's super resistance to all antibiotics and the sudden lack of all antibiotics in 1002 combined with the fresh clean air, free from pollutants, Neal's first sneeze resulted in the virus escaping his system and growing to massive size. The vikings weren't infected so much as crushed, like Godzilla crushed Tokyo (which is another story altogether). Also, George convinced Otto of Worms to withdraw his nomination for the title of Holy Roman Emperor and as a result good old Wormsy received Duchy of Carinthia in return. Nice - Thanks George!

 

Infecting 1002 - Cold viruses chasing Vikings... Never before had something so huge come out of Neal's nose. Well, except for that one time when he snotted all over Neptune (you always wondered why it's green right?).

Cold viruses chasing Vikings... Never before had something so huge come out of Neal's nose. Well, except for that one time when he snotted all over Neptune (you always wondered why it's green right?).

Photo by: George

Tags: 1002(1) 2001(8) 2010(16) diseases(9) historic events(18) neal funk(18) people of history(33) vikings(2)
Names Mentioned: 7 south dearborn tower(2) carinthia(1) chicago(14) godzilla(3) greenland(2) otto of worms(1) roman empire(1) tokyo(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Igpay Atinlay: The Origin

Views: 182/1714
Added: 02/23/2009

Onway ethay iptray ackbay otay 2010 Ealnay andway Eorgegay accidentallyway entway otay 2010 BCEAY. Erethay eythay inventedway Igpay Atinlay. Ethay anguagelay eventuallyway evolvedway intoway actualway Atinlay. Onway anotherway iptray otay 1818 eythay eintroducedray Igpay Atinlay otay ethay orldway andway itway ownay existsway inway itsway urrentcay ormfay.

Tags: .2010 bce(1) 1818(1) 2010(16) ancient wonders(9) languages(11) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Damn you, Midler!

Views: 184/7616
Added: 03/02/2009

In 2010 George and Neal single handedly (well, I guess double-handedly) save the US from a great depression, by creating a new industry devoted solely to... well, I can't really say here, otherwise our idea will be taken. Probably by Bette Midler, who religiously checks these updates for some reason. Damn you, Midler!

 

Damn you, Midler! - Bette doing her nightly check of the latest updates in the The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! You won't find anything you can use here Bette! Go away!

Bette doing her nightly check of the latest updates in the The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! You won't find anything you can use here Bette! Go away!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2010(16) bette midler(4) business ventures(44) celebrities(69) economy(8) inventions(48)
Names Mentioned: bette midler(5)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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The Twelve Step Approach

Views: 157/8086
Added: 03/19/2009

In 2010 George insisted Neal seek therapy to break his addiction to board games. Neal entered the program but came out six weeks later with a great idea for a game called "The Twelve Step Approach". The game has been a big hit in Hollywood and has attracted some of the biggest stars in entertainment, including Nick Nolte, David Hasselhoff, Amy Winehouse, Lindsey Lohan, and Elmo. Neal hopes to capitalize on the game's success with a sequel called "Back on the Wagon" while George is working on a prequel called "I Can't Remember What I Did Last Summer". A live television version of the game is scheduled to be on NBC in the fall of 2010. The working title for the game show version is "Neal or No Neal".

 

The Twelve Step Approach - It's anticipated that the show will be a runaway success, just like the board game. In other words, if you run away you might succeed.

It's anticipated that the show will be a runaway success, just like the board game. In other words, if you run away you might succeed.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2010(16) celebrities(69) games(15) inventions(48) rehab(3) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: amy winehouse(1) david hasselhoff(2) deal or no deal(1) elmo(3) hollywood(3) i know what you did last summer(1) lindsey lohan(2) nbc(3) nick nolte(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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iKing George

Views: 441/4877
Added: 04/22/2009

In 1014, George founded the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia, and became King George I (known affectionately as iKing). Beginning in October of that year iKing George commenced an insane endeavor to name everyone and everything George, or variations thereof.

 

iKing George - Just like the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia.

Just like the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia.

Photo by: Neal

Similar to the show The Smurfs (which was based on the historical Kingdom of Northeast Georgia - Neal was the basis for Gargamel), where everything was "Smurfy", everything in Georgia was "Georgie". (And also similar to the Smurfs, sentences like "Did you George the George on that George, man? Utterly Georgtastic!" were common.) In a complete and utter contradiction to his policies, George named his son "Bagrat" and his daughter "Guarandukht". (You can totally wikipedia that stuff, man. Totally.) In 2010, to honor his friend, Neal guaranteed that his next child would be named either "Bagrat" or "Guarandukht". As an aside, Bagrat is actually George's Great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great Grandfather, which poses all sorts of delicious paradoxes, the likes of which could literally make a quantum physicist's head implode. This paradox is set to be storylines on upcoming episodes of "Lost" and "So You Think You Can Dance".

Tags: 1014(1) 2010(16) discombobulation(4) offspring(13) relationships(6) smurfs(2) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: gargamel(2) lost(2) smurfs(2) so you think you can dance(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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It's All Relative

Views: 406/4755
Added: 08/11/2009

On April 1, 2010, George thought it would be a hilarious prank to go back in time and seduce Neal's great-grandmother. Consequently, George became Neal's great-grandfather. While George found this unintended consequence hilarious, Neal did not find this funny whatsoever. As payback, Neal seduced George's great-great grandmother. Super-humanly virile, Neal became George's great-great grandfather. Upset, George thereafter seduced Neal's great-great-great grandmother (after first accidentally seducing his great-great-great grandfather - could have happened to anyone). This went back and forth so many times that Neal's and George's family trees became so convoluted and confusing it would have made M.C. Escher proud.

Tags: 2010(16) celebrities(69) offspring(13) relationships(6)
Names Mentioned: m c escher(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Facemag - Hell on Osteoporosis

Views: 129/3830
Added: 08/20/2009

In early 2010, in an attempt to attract the age 80+ and technophobe demographics, as well as providing an alternate supply for the Facebook addicts, George and Neal brokered an agreement with cNet Publishing and Facebook for a monthly printed edition of Facebook called "Facemag - your offline fix". The magazine is roughly 900 pages each month of status updates, quizzes, and pictures submitted by subscribers the month before via snail mail. It also contains pointless advertisements, recommendations for things you might like but actually don't, and thousands upon thousands of little card inserts for all sorts of useless stuff (it falls all over the place and makes a huge mess as soon as you open the magazine). And of course there's the monthly feature: The Latest in the Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! It's not quite as fast paced as its online counterpart, but it's just as big a waste of time.

 

Facemag - Hell on Osteoporosis - The Large Print edition was over four times as thick, and this was just the second issue. By 2012 the standard print edition was over 3 feet thick.

The Large Print edition was over four times as thick, and this was just the second issue. By 2012 the standard print edition was over 3 feet thick.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2010(16) business ventures(44) facebook(10) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: cnet publishing(1) facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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I Dare You!

Views: 160/10159
Added: 08/25/2009

On September 6, 2010, George and Neal initiated a series of dares, each more shocking than the last. It started innocently enough, when George dared Neal to eat a live worm (not knowing that Neal had done this for free in the past, on a number of occasions). Neal then dared George to go back in time and dress like a woman at a number of milestones in his life.

 

I Dare You! - Although there were those who thought George was the bride, it was still a beautiful ceremony. George decided to keep the toaster that he received; the newlyweds didn't seem to mind.

Although there were those who thought George was the bride, it was still a beautiful ceremony. George decided to keep the toaster that he received; the newlyweds didn't seem to mind.

Photo by: Neal

After George went to numerous weddings, funerals, birthday parties, circumcisions, etc. dressed as a woman, George then dared Neal to not be witty, funny and/or suave for one day. (Neal of course could not do so - his awesomeness is by instinct not design). After trying (and failing) not to be awesome, Neal then dared George to erase Dan Ackroyd's entire existence. George did so with ease and great pleasure. Of course, George had to find someone to fill in the now Ackroyd-less roles...

 

Dan Ack-who? - Now George's come-on, "Hey baby, wanna see my proton pack?" makes sense.

Now George's come-on, "Hey baby, wanna see my proton pack?" makes sense.

Photo by: Neal

The dares continued, each more fantastic than the last, which all culminated somehow in Neal thinking he could take on Muhammad Ali in his prime. Six concussions later, he discovered he could not. Neal would have continued the dare contest, but after multiple blows to the skull, he forgot all about the contest and for some reason instead decided to be a divorce attorney. George was satisfied, believing that somehow this meant he won the contest.

 

Neal vs Cassius Clay - Funny, Neal doesn't remember this at all. (George, on the other hand, remembers it very, very clearly, having profited immensely from all the shirts, DVDs, postcards, "Happy Birthday, Grandma" birthday cards, toilet paper, penile enlargement packs, and other products he sold bearing this image. Thanks George.)

Funny, Neal doesn't remember this at all. (George, on the other hand, remembers it very, very clearly, having profited immensely from all the shirts, DVDs, postcards, "Happy Birthday, Grandma" birthday cards, toilet paper, penile enlargement packs, and other products he sold bearing this image. Thanks George.)

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2010(16) business ventures(44) celebrities(69) competition(10) food(45) george's fashion sense(12) movies(40) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13)
Names Mentioned: cassius clay(1) dan ackroyd(1) ghost busters(1) muhammad ali(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)

 
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President Obama's Education Recovery Effort

Views: 645/7754
Added: 09/08/2009

In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up. Students are required to pass annual standardized tests in four categories: Historical Events, Businesses and Celebrities, Inventions, and Other Crap. 4th through 6th grade tests each consist of 200 multiple choice questions, 7th and 8th grade is a combination of 250 multiple choice and short answer questions, and high school also includes an essay section. Also all US Citizens are required to complete a 150 question multiple choice test once every four years. Failure to pass the test could result in suspension of your US Citizenship and up to 10 years of living in Britain. So you better start studying now!

 

President Obama's Education Recovery Effort - This was an answer key for the 6th grade multiple choice section. Whoo Hoo! We like patterns! Also notice that you no longer have the choices of A-B-C-D-E. In keeping with George & Neal are Awesome tradition, your options on the multiple choice section are G-J-N-S-!

This was an answer key for the 6th grade multiple choice section. Whoo Hoo! We like patterns! Also notice that you no longer have the choices of A-B-C-D-E. In keeping with George & Neal are Awesome tradition, your options on the multiple choice section are G-J-N-S-!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2010(16) britain(9) business ventures(44) celebrities(69) education(9) government(16) historic events(18) inventions(48) laws(10) obama(4)
Names Mentioned: america(8) barack obama(4) britain(8)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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GONADS

Views: 205/7860
Added: 10/04/2009

In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device takes prenatal learning programs (like Lullabelly, Bellysonic and FirstSounds) one step further and incorporates the latest developments in Gene Expression and Epigenetics research. The device uses a combination of audio and magnetic signals to actually educate gametes (sperm and egg cells). Using techniques discovered through epigenetics research we can ensure that information learned by sperm and egg cells is actually passed on to successive generations. Purchase one today and your children and grandchildren will be smarter! Purchase one for your children and your grandchildren and great grandchildren will be even smarter. Give your descendants the head start they need to compete in the highly competitive future (take it from us, we've been there). Your descendants can get into the best schools, land the best jobs, and get the highest scores in Donkey Kong. If you don't buy our GONADS you don't love your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great... You get the picture. Neal, along with George's wife Julie, helped promote the GONADS with an international lecture tour in late 2010, demonstrating the effects of using the device (the time machine was used to secretly fit the GONADS to Julie's great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents) versus a non-educated genetic history (Neal's ancestors were not fitted with the device). Millions were convinced that the device works as advertised.

Tags: 2009(21) 2010(16) business ventures(44) clarissa(6) genetics(16) inventions(48) julie(5) offspring(13) relationships(6) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: bellysonic(1) donkey kong(1) firstsounds(1) lullabelly(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Zoo Trip Time Machine

Views: 157/4322
Added: 10/24/2009

In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done that sooner. So they jumped in the time machine and got their families together for a trip to the zoo in October of 2009. They had a fantastic time and said they should do it again some time. So in March 2010 they got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time...

Tags: 2009(21) 2010(16) gimme a break(5) offspring(13) time machine(37) wives(15)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Snoutbook

Views: 153/3991
Added: 01/29/2010

In the latter half of the middle third of the eighth month of 2010 George and Neal started a new social networking site dedicated solely to the most technologically neglected members of our families. By 2011 Snoutbook boasted nearly 150 million members around the world. Many popular applications from Facebook were ported over to Snoutbook, but updated so that our pets can play. Mafia Wars is now Dog Fights, Farmville has been rebranded as Labor Force, Flair is called Tags, Quizzes has become Obedience School, and all those little gifts that you can send back and forth...now just different ways to smell friends' asses. George's dog, Moxie, is hooked.

 

Snoutbook - Snoutbook gives dogs everywhere the opportunity to do something other than lick their crotches to pass the time. But Snoutbook isn't just for dogs! Cats, horses, ferrets, gerbils, wombats, or any other critter is welcome to join the world's fastest growing social networking site.

Snoutbook gives dogs everywhere the opportunity to do something other than lick their crotches to pass the time. But Snoutbook isn't just for dogs! Cats, horses, ferrets, gerbils, wombats, or any other critter is welcome to join the world's fastest growing social networking site.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2010(16) 2011(8) animals(16) facebook(10)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9) farmville(1) mafia wars(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Johnson & Johnson's in Rock & Roll

Views: 200/11150
Added: 09/24/2012

During their chronal adventures, Neal and George discovered a deep, dark secret of the music industry. Apparently for years the Johnson & Johnson company has been clandestinely influencing some of Rock & Roll's greatest artists. George and Neal weren't so shocked as Johnson & Johnson's sponsorship and promotion of the arts as much as we were at the fact that these incredible shows of support have been kept secret from the multitudes. Among the shocking discoveries are:


And we're positive that we've only scratched the surface of Johnson & Johnson's mysterious involvement in the history of Rock & Roll.

Tags: 1998(9) 2010(16) 2014(7) celebrities(69) conspiracy theories(7) in good company(6) music(26)
Names Mentioned: acuvue(1) aerosmith(2) baltimora(1) band-aid(1) chris deburgh(1) dark side of the moon(1) devo(1) eric clapton(1) farm-aid(1) george hardie(1) h o r d e fest(1) johnson & johnson(1) lilith fair(1) lollapalooza(1) ozzy osbourne(2) pink floyd(2) sisqo(2) steven tyler(1) tylenol(1) woodstock(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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It's Magically Disgusting!

Views: 243/12434
Added: 11/30/2013

On April 12, 2012, the matching game, Candy Crush, was released on Facebook. Less than one year later, Candy Crush became the most popular game on Facebook, with 46 million monthly users. Most people do not realize that this is simply a rip-off of Neal's earlier 2010 game, Haggis Crush.

 

It's Magically Disgusting! - It was no surprise to anyone that a matching game involving an animal's stomach (containing a sheep's heart, liver and lungs, minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt) would be so much fun!

It was no surprise to anyone that a matching game involving an animal's stomach (containing a sheep's heart, liver and lungs, minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt) would be so much fun!

Photo by: Neal

Neal was very upset by this blatant copy, until George reminded him that both Haggis and Candy Crush were obvious rip-offs of George's 1982 Coleco game, Orange Crush Crush.

 

 - All the excitement of a trash compactor, in 8-bit glory!

All the excitement of a trash compactor, in 8-bit glory!

Photo by: Neal

Given that the boys already made a hefty sum from their Bejeweled rip-off, Vajazzled, the boys just let this one go. (Editor's Note: As of July 2013, it has been estimated that Candy Crush Saga earns $633,000 per day in the US section of the iOS App Store alone. So, perhaps this was the wrong one to "let go".)

Tags: $633k per day is proof we are all idiots(1) 1982(5) 2010(16) 2012(14) bejeweled(1) best colecovision game ever(1) candy crush(3) facebook(10) haggis crush(1) i first typed ios app sore and that made me laugh for some reason(1) ios app store(1) orange crush crush(1) rip-offs(3) the simpsons already did it(1) vajazzled(3)
Names Mentioned: bejeweled(1) candy crush(1) coleco(1) colecovision(1) facebook(9) ios store(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)

 
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Fotomat Selfie

Views: 330/4232
Added: 04/11/2014

As a result of Instagram’s success in 2010, on April 1, 2010 George and Neal went back to 1980 and changed the names of all the “FotoMats” to “Sometime-Later-Gram’s". No one got the joke for 30 years.

 

Fotomat Selfie - Before.

Before.

Photo by: Neal

 

 - After . Guinness World Records found this to be the longest-gestating April Fool's joke ever.

After . Guinness World Records found this to be the longest-gestating April Fool's joke ever.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1980(4) 2010(16) fotomat(1) guinness world records(1) instagram(1)
Names Mentioned: fotomat(1) guiness world records(1) instagram(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)

 
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Mmmm.... Gluten...

Views: 106/2362
Added: 01/04/2016

In 2010, George and Neal created a line of delicious, gluten-free food for those with gluten sensitivities. The food line was a gigantic hit for hundreds of years. As a result, however, George and Neal amassed large stockpiles of gluten which they had just lying around. This turned out to be quite fortunate, since in 2347, people started developing anti-gluten sensitivities, requiring them to eat foods with massive amounts of gluten. George and Neal’s Bag of Gluten was as popular as it was gross.

 

Mmmm....  Gluten... - Apparently, Nambia’s standards for gluten production is world-class.

Apparently, Nambia’s standards for gluten production is world-class.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2010(16) 2347(1) celiac disease(1) diet(1) gluten(1) gluten-free(1) gross(1) sensitivities(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)



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