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Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch

Views: 235/3546
Added: 02/15/2009

In 2000 George and Neal traveled to Africa and met Mr. Fred Abeku, the present branch Manager of Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch, opposite the Grand Mosque Accra, Ghana. He needed help with collecting over $15 million from an account and we suggested he contact someone in America to help with the transaction. To our knowledge he, and his associates, have contacted millions of Americans, some of whom have helped with their various business dealings to great success. George and Neal are proud of their role in helping stimulate the global economy in such a benevolent way.

Tags: 2000(7) africa(3) business ventures(44) crimes & scams(16) economy(8)
Names Mentioned: africa(2)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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The Heroic Journey of Two Wonderful, Influential, Benevolent Human Beings

Views: 456/8909
Added: 02/25/2009

George and Neal walked completely across the country and back in only three days back in 1986. Everyone was really impressed and George and Neal went on the talk-show circuit, landing interviews with the likes of Geraldo, Oprah, Montel, Carson, Letterman, Walters, Humperdink, Stashinova, and Elmo. A Hallmark Special Movie called "The Heroic Journey to Two Wonderful, Influential, Benevolent Human Beings" was being planned to honor their amazing heroism when, during research for the roles of George and Neal, actors Bruce Willis and Julia Roberts discovered that the country George and Neal walked across was actually Monaco and the only reason it took then three days instead of a few hours was that they stopped at several casinos during their stay. The Hallmark movie is still being planned, but has been re-titled "The Great Cross Country Scam". We're OK with that.

Tags: 1986(8) awards and recognition(12) celebrities(69) crimes & scams(16) journey(6) movies(40) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: barbara walters(1) bruce willis(1) david letterman(1) elmo(3) engelbert humperdink(1) geraldo rivera(1) hallmark(1) johnny carson(1) julia roberts(1) monaco(1) montel jordan(1) oprah winfrey(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Witness Protection

Views: 191/4971
Added: 03/04/2009

In 1992, when they were prime witnesses in the trial of Chicago's Polish Mafia boss Mogul Downhillski, George and Neal entered witness protection where they were relocated to Idaho and given false names. They lived there for three years before they once again became key witnesses in a criminal case, this time against the eco-terrorist group "Bombing for Bushes". In a strange twist of fate, George and Neal (now known as Sven Jorgenson and Paco Lopez) were again put into witness protection. This time they were relocated to Champaign, IL and, ironically, given the names George Jaros and Neal Simon, although George was now Neal and Neal was now George. In 2001 they again became key witnesses, but this time in separate events. George (really Neal) was to testify against celebrity gangster D-pak Choppa in his murder trial of fellow thug and rapper Jarjar FallSwell. Neal (really George) was considered the expert witness, and the prosecution's slam dunk testimony, in the case of Reticulitermes virginicus vs X-Vermin-X Corporation due to the years he spent secluded in the deep wilderness studying and becoming a part of subterranean termite society. He was at one time knows as the Jane Goodall of termites. Anyway, in a very strange twist of fate, George (really George) was sent into Witness Protection in DeKalb and given the name George Jaros. Neal (really Neal) was sent into witness protection in Chicago the same year and given the name Neal Simon. Unfortunately, due to the secretive nature of witness protection, they were unable to reveal their past identities, resulting in this confusing mess. It all worked out in the end though, and those that might be looking for them are undoubtedly just as confused as everyone else. But please, don't say anything to anyone since this is all supposed to be a secret still. They have currently retired from the business of being key witnesses in criminal cases, since it was becoming too confusing to remember who they were at any given time, especially with all the time travel they do.

 

Witness Protection - The "Bombing for Bushes" eco-terrorist group wasn't your typical eco-terrorist group. Instead of creating turmoil to push environmental agendas, they just terrorized bushes. We witnessed plenty an azalea go up in flames before the FBI finally caught these punks.

The "Bombing for Bushes" eco-terrorist group wasn't your typical eco-terrorist group. Instead of creating turmoil to push environmental agendas, they just terrorized bushes. We witnessed plenty an azalea go up in flames before the FBI finally caught these punks.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1922(1) 2001(8) chicago(10) crimes & scams(16) dekalb(2) nicknames(14) secrets(4) u of i(3)
Names Mentioned: champaign(1) chicago(14) deepak chopra(1) dekalb(2) idaho(1) jane goodall(1) jerry falwell(2) poland(1) university of illinois(5)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Sisters of Endless Guilt

Views: 157/3775
Added: 03/11/2009

In 1962 George and Neal dressed as nuns and moved into the Sisters of Endless Guilt convent, just for kicks. We lived there for three and a half months before we were discovered. After being sent out of the convent we took our habits to Antarctica to live with the penguins. So far our guise has not been penetrated (and neither have we, luckily).

Tags: 1962(1) animals(16) antarctica(2) christian(8) costumes(4) crimes & scams(16) george's fashion sense(12) neal's fashion sense(20) religion(11)
Names Mentioned: antarctica(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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In Great Shape

Views: 140/4527
Added: 03/17/2009

In 1902 George and Neal developed a revolutionary diet program. The program slowly grew and evolved until the 1950s and 1960s when it suddenly took off and became an incredible success. We marketed it as a system where you could eat delicious foods and get into great shape at the same time. The program was advertised extensively under a variety of names and titles and we are happy to report that today the Neal and George Diet Program is the most successful program in the country. Nearly everyone in America participates in the program and there are millions of branches across the country. The success of our program is even global with various franchises in just about every country in the world. In economically developed countries it is possible to even see our program in action in 10 or 12 locations simultaneously. Our program has evolved and developed into varieties that fit just about every lifestyle and situation. In fact, we're willing to be that you've participated in our program at least once in the last month, possibly even today. The program goes by several names, but the most common name used in popular culture is the Fast Food program. What? We never specified what shape you'd be in. Round is a shape! And we happen to think it's a great shape.

Tags: 1902(2) 1950s(2) 1960s(3) business ventures(44) crimes & scams(16) food(45) inventions(48)
Names Mentioned: america(8)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Slap-Bracelets: The Origin

Views: 170/3551
Added: 03/26/2009

In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustration of law enforcement across the nation, these new handcuffs were easily removable. As a result, hundreds of criminals roamed free because of Neal and George's invention. In an effort to turn lemons into lemonade, George and Neal renamed them Slap-Bracelets, and made millions because junior high kids loved them (almost as much as the criminals).

Tags: 1990s(3) crimes & scams(16) failures(22) inventions(48) origin(24) success!(13)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Ralph Malph

Views: 181/5641
Added: 04/02/2009

In 1920, George unfortunately lost millions investing in a ponzi scheme, in which his investments were used to pay earlier investors. In 1979, Neal lost millions investing in a Fonzi scheme, in which his investments were used to pay Ralph Malph. George was able to make his money back though by traveling to 1979, posing as Ralph Malph, taking Neal's money back to 1918, investing in the same ponzi scheme that he would later lose his money, and thus becoming one of those early investors that made a fortune. Neal, however, is still looking for Ralph Malph but will never find him.

 

Ralph Malph - I'll find you, Malph. Wherever you are.

I'll find you, Malph. Wherever you are.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1918(1) 1920(1) 1979(2) celebrities(69) crimes & scams(16) revenge(6) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: fonzi(2) ralph malph(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Bum Ba Bum, Ba Bum Bum...

Views: 153/3482
Added: 04/11/2009

In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The George & Neal Team.

 

Bum Ba Bum, Ba Bum Bum... - Don't let their looks fool you; George and Neal were the brains and muscle in this outfit.

Don't let their looks fool you; George and Neal were the brains and muscle in this outfit.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1972(3) a-team(2) crimes & scams(16) government(16) kicking ass(16)
Names Mentioned: a-team(3) los angeles(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Hair Match

Views: 249/8346
Added: 04/22/2009

In 2014, after declaring bankruptcy and losing everything, George and Neal came to their rescue and offered both Rod Blagojevich and Donald Trump an opportunity to stop living on the streets of Chicago and sharing a cardboard box behind Tony Rezko's house (i.e. under the El tracks on Van Buren and Clark). In 2015 the SyFy channel aired a special live presentation of ECW Wrestling. The match-up was a bloody battle between Blago's and Trump's hair. The 6 hour battle was called a draw but ended up spawning a spin-off show called "Law and Order and Corruption - You're Fired Unit", which aired on NBC after "Law and Order - Not Quite As Special Victims Unit", before "Law and Order - Criminal Negligence", on alternate weeks with "Law and Order - Park District Squad" but only during the off season for "Law and Order - Police Brutality".

Tags: 2014(7) 2015(9) celebrities(69) competition(10) crimes & scams(16) government(16) hair(11) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) donald trump(10) ecw wrestling(1) law and order(2) nbc(3) rod blagojevich(2) syfy channel(1) tony rezko(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch Gang

Views: 427/5673
Added: 04/24/2009

For a few years near the end of the 19th century George and Neal organized several bands of outlaws and robbed banks and trains in the old west. We were actually the masterminds behind Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch Gang's Union Pacific train holdup at Wilcox, Wyoming in 1899 and also the James-Younger gang's Kansas Pacific Railroad holdup near Muncie, Kansas, in 1874. They also helped the Newton Boys with their infamous postal train heist in Rondout, Illinois in 1924. George went by the name of "The Whitewash Kid" and Neal took the pseudonym "Kneal S. Iman", yeah real original.

 

Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch Gang - Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch circa 1901. Front row left to right: Harry A. Longabaugh, alias the Sundance Kid, Ben Kilpatrick, alias the Tall Texan, Robert Leroy Parker, alias Butch Cassidy; Standing: Will Carver; George Jaros alias the Whitewash Kid; Harvey Logan, alias Kid Curry; Neal Simon, alias Kneal S. Iman.

Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch circa 1901. Front row left to right: Harry A. Longabaugh, alias the Sundance Kid, Ben Kilpatrick, alias the Tall Texan, Robert Leroy Parker, alias Butch Cassidy; Standing: Will Carver; George Jaros alias the Whitewash Kid; Harvey Logan, alias Kid Curry; Neal Simon, alias Kneal S. Iman.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1874(1) 1899(1) 1901(1) 1924(1) crimes & scams(16) historic events(18) nicknames(14) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: ben kilpatrick (the tall texan)(1) butch cassidy's wild bunch gang(1) harry a. longabaugh (the sundance kid)(1) harvey logan (kid curry)(1) illinois(3) james-younger gang(1) kansas(1) muncie kansas(1) newton boys(1) robert leroy parker (butch cassidy)(1) roundout illinois(1) union pacific(1) wilcox wyoming(1) will carver(1) wyoming(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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George Takes a Break

Views: 177/4318
Added: 09/05/2009

In April, 2016 George got tired of the whole ninja fighting and history manipulating thing. He decided to try something more relaxing and opened the Meadows of Elysium Bed & Breakfast. Unfortunately the whole thing was a disaster. Maybe it was because George doesn't sleep... Maybe it was because George doesn't eat breakfast (let alone cook it)... Or maybe it was because adventure just has a way of finding George. In the six months George was running his BnB it was attacked by zombies three times, killer robots once, and chainsaw wielding raccoons twice. George's patrons (those that survived) refused to ever return nor refer their friends and family. By October George had decided to leave the hospitality business and return to the life of adventure, fame and mystery that he was destined for.

Neal, on the other hand, started a very successful chain of hotels called X-Torch Inn, later renamed Hotel-9. Neal's success wasn't due so much to his hotels' amenities, cleanliness, or reputation so much as it was his policy of photoshopping... I mean photographing wealthy patrons committing adultery. Then he would threaten to show the photos to the guilty party's spouse (resulting in a very messy divorce) unless the party agreed to use Neal's law firm for their divorce proceedings (resulting in a very expensive, but much less messy divorce). It was a twisted web that he wove, but it resulted in the very profitable sale of Hotel-9 to Motel 6 in 2081. The merger of Motel 6 and Hotel-9 (called by the media the "6-9 Hookup") was touted as the biggest corporate acquisition of the century.

Tags: 2016(8) business ventures(44) crimes & scams(16) gimme a break(5) ninjas(3) raccoons(3) robots(7) zombies(21)
Names Mentioned: motel 6(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Just don't use it on your clothes, please.

Views: 134/3878
Added: 08/09/2010

In 2048, Neal claimed to invent an invisibility potion, and thereafter used the potion to open up many financially successful invisible zoos. George later discovered that Neal didn't devise any invisibility potion, but rather created an elaborate and complex hoax (okay, so it wasn't that complex, since Neal just held up his hand and claimed to be holding something invisible).

 

Just don't use it on your clothes, please. - Neal relaxes with a delicious invisible Dr. Pepper. (Now with even less calories than Diet Dr. Pepper!)

Neal relaxes with a delicious invisible Dr. Pepper. (Now with even less calories than Diet Dr. Pepper!)

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2048(1) business ventures(44) crimes & scams(16) inventions(48) jaguanst(8)
Names Mentioned: dr. pepper(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Rhymes with 'Orange'

Views: 150/2333
Added: 03/22/2013

Upon hearing that no word in the English language rhymed with "orange," in 1986, George invented the word "sporange" just so one would exist. Years later, its definition still remains a mystery (although curiously, three people have thus far been convicted of "sporanging.").

Tags: 1986(8) crimes & scams(16) food(45)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Need More Conventions!!!

Views: 186/8981
Added: 12/08/2013

By 2031 there were so many comic conventions and expos (including Comic-Con, WizCon, APE, C2E2, WonderCon, Comikaze, C4, MegaCon, Sac-Con, Pros & Con, Com-Con-Chameleon, Thimblecon, thousands of local comic conventions, and many more) that George and Neal decided to found the first annual ComConCon. This convention was to promote awareness of other conventions. Participants were encouraged to come dressed as their favorite convention. For the first year Neal dressed as the Cleveland Comic, Card and Nostalgia Show and George dressed as Awesome Con DC. The annual ComConCons were a huge success until a small scandal in 2042 when the manager of long time ComConCon participant Illinois Government ComiCon, Ryan Hodge Blagokowski, was convicted of corruption and masterminding a scheme that hoodwinked millions of people out of hundreds of dollars (he claimed to be selling pre-release copies of the seventh book in George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, however he was taking the money and had no intention of ever delivering the books, much like Martin himself...). This grand scam was dubbed the ComConCon Con. After spending 13 years behind bars(with 'A Dream of Spring' still listed as 'forthcoming'), R.H. Blagokowski was forever referred to as 'The ComConCon Con Con'.

 

Need More Conventions!!! - Attendees quickly began a tradition of dressing up as their favorite Comic Convention.  The costumes weren't quite as awe inspiring as those at said conventions, but there's a venue for everyone's passions!

Attendees quickly began a tradition of dressing up as their favorite Comic Convention. The costumes weren't quite as awe inspiring as those at said conventions, but there's a venue for everyone's passions!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2031(1) 2042(1) art is art(10) business ventures(44) charisma points(2) comics(2) competition(10) costumes(4) crimes & scams(16) government(16) inspirations(19) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) organizations(15) politics(9) success!(13) super heroes(3) thimblecon(2) thimbles(2)
Names Mentioned: a dream of spring(1) a song of ice and fire(1) ape(1) awesome con dc(1) c2e2(1) c4(1) card and nostalgia show(1) cleveland comic(1) comic-con(1) comikaze(1) dan rostenkowski(1) george h. ryan(1) george r. r. martin(1) megacon(1) orville hodge(1) rod blagojevich(2) sac-con(1) wizcon(1) wondercon(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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