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Entries From Friday, May 01, 2009

<< Apr 24, 2009  May 04, 2009 >>

2 Entries on This Page

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After-School Specials

Views: 229/4151
Added: 05/01/2009

In the mid 1980's, Neal and George were hired by ABC to produce a series of after-school specials. Those of you who grew up in the 80's may remember (and still be traumatized by) their shows, including the safety episode, "Where did my thumb go?: Little Sammy's Shop Class Adventure"; the puberty/safe-sex episode "What's Growin' On You Could Kill You If You Use It Wrong"; the stranger-danger episode, "The Man Asking You to Sit on His Lap and Asking You To Whisper What You Want Is Not Really Santa Claus"; and the anti-drug episode, "Cocaine Will Prevent You From Success, the George W. Bush Story" (who knew in the 80's?). Surprisingly, it took three years before they were fired for their incompetence - heck, before they were fired, they even aired the confusing and long-titled episode "Don't Trust What TV Tells You To Do Except For This Show In Which Case You Should Trust It Entirely Because We Are Always Right And Have the Right To Tell You How To Live Your Life, And Hey, If We Don't Tell You To Brush Your Teeth And Stop Picking On Kids In Glasses How Will You Ever Learn These Lessons?".

Tags: 1980s(7) education(9) george w. bush(5) mental trauma(8) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: abc(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

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Here Be Dragons

Views: 402/4590
Added: 05/01/2009

On a trip back to 1227 BCE George and Neal discovered that dragons did in fact inhabit major portions of the earth. Different species of dragons lived and thrived all across Europe and Asia. Sadly, on a separate trip to 1098 BC dragons appeared to be extinct. We couldn't find a single dragon anywhere. Sometime during those 129 years dragons completely disappeared. In an effort to preserve the magnificent creatures, in 2029 AD we founded the Dragon Rescue Society and built several Wild Dragon Refuges around the world. Then we went back to 1225 BC and began an enormous rescue effort. We used all the teleportation and time travel tools at our disposal to create an entire team of over 1000 Georges and Neals (it was the only time in history that we were able to coordinate such a paradoxical meeting of so many of ourselves). For 112 years we scoured the globe and captured dragons of all types. We collected dragon eggs, captured hatchlings, and even grand old dragon masters. It was a huge effort, but we managed to rescue every last dragon and bring them to our carefully constructed habitats in 2029. We are happy to say that by 1113 BC not a single dragon was left behind. We had captured every last one of them and saved them all from the impending extinction in 1098 BC.

Tags: .1098 bce(1) .1113 bce(1) .1225 bce(1) .1227 bce(1) 2029(2) extinction(4) mythological critters(7) save the aminals(6) teleportation(10) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: asia(1) europe(1)
Entry Logged By: George

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