The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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They also built a time machine, accidentally, while trying to fix a blender. The blender was originally broken when George and Neal decided to make "Rock Smoothies." Six blenders later, and the recipe is still not yet ready to be released.

 

In 1989 George and Neal had a falling out and didn't speak to each other for over 40 years, until they reconnected over their love of "Rock Smoothies". When they invented their time machine a few weeks after reconnecting, they decided that those 40 years were pretty foolish. So they traveled back to 1989, killed their previous selves, and carried on as if nothing had happened. No one ever questioned why they aged 40 years overnight.

 

When George and Neal were told they could do costume designing for Sean Connery, they jumped at the opportunity. Not because they liked Sean Connery - but rather they were intent on taking their revenge after Sean stole their "Rock Smoothies" idea (luckily, all that did was bust up his teeth and make the Yugoslavian sound like a Scottish man). Anyway, in an effort to exact revenge, George and Neal designed Sean's costume for his 1974 epic, Zardoz. The costume looked like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Zardoz_zed.jpg Job well done, boys!

 

In 1967, George and Neal traveled to Hollywood, to start their business, "Skin Flakes of the Stars". They sold exactly what you think. People reacted exactly how you think. Surprisingly, years later they restarted the business but marketed the product as a high-protein, body sculpting, smoothie supplement called "Hollywood DermaFleck", and the company's success skyrocketed. You can buy a tub of it at your local GNC, Vitamin World, or Jiffy Lube.

 

The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police box (their Rock Smoothie Machine looks more like a port-a-potty), they aren't time lords from another planet (they do have two hearts though - one each), they cause just about as many problems as they solve, they can't regenerate (at least not yet), while they have had a lot of nicknames in the past, The Doctor has never been one of them, they have no fear of becoming a red head, and they are much better looking than The Doctor. They do, however, occasionally take companions on their journeys. But unlike The Doctor, their companions are not random people they stumble into odd situations with. Instead their companions are carefully selected from an applicant pool of interested parties. Once a suitable companion is selected (they must of course be approved by their wives first), only then will the companion be subjected to odd situations. If you are interested in being an applicant please send a head shot, complete contact information, short description of yourself, photograph of your first pet, a 534 word essay on why you think George and Neal are the most incredible humans to exist in any (or all) time, and $163.26 in Canadian to: P.O. Box 75112, Gallifrey Way, New New York, NNY 314159.

 

In 1978 a temporary glitch in George and Neal's Time Machine (well, not so much a glitch as Neal spilling a tub of Tang drink mix onto the controls - you'd think a time machine originally designed for making smoothies would be more resilient) caused a temporal-reality-rift. Nothing much was changed, except that Scott Baio was turned into a tasty Spanish dessert. That's ok though, because Scott went on to make his well known hits, Happy Days, Joanie Loves Churros, and Churros in Charge. Despite the name changes the shows still earned rave reviews and Baio was still a heart throb, although among overweight women with a sweet tooth instead of young teenage girls.

 

In 1906 George accidentally originated the popular phrase "When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade." This phrase was later published in Volume 26, Issue 5 of Men's Wear magazine in January 1909 before Elbert Hubbard used in in Reader's Digest in October 1927 and Dale Carnegie made it famous when he published it as: "When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade." Rule #6, at the end of Chapter 17 in Carnegie's "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" published in 1948. George is very proud of the success of this phrase, despite the fact that is has been misquoted right from the beginning. What George actually said was "When fate gives you lemurs, you should try to make lemurade." Neal also tried to capitalize on George's phrase, but it turns out that people really don't like the whole idea of lemurade.

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