The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


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Synchronized Swimming

Views: 381/6121
Added: 02/13/2009

Remember Karate Kid? Well, George and Neal faced off against each other in a similar competition, except it was not Karate, but rather synchronized swimming. George won, and thanks to Neal's speedo, everyone else lost.

 

Synchronized Swimming - This cannot end well.

This cannot end well.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: competition(10) movies(41) neal's fashion sense(21) scantily clad people(15) sports(24)
Names Mentioned: karate kid(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Breakin'!

Views: 365/4878
Added: 02/15/2009

In 1984, George starred in the movie "Breakin'!" as Master Shabazz. In 1986, Neal, in an effort to follow in his friend's footsteps, starred in the movie "Breakin'! 2: Electric Boogaloo" as Funkmaster Funky Funk McFunkster. The acting skills exhibited by both gentlemen led to critical acclaim in both "Sucka! Magazine" and "What Willis Was Talking About Quarterly". George and Neal (widely known as collectively as "NeOrge") are currently on their fifty-first draft of the script, "Breakin'! 3: Hips a'Poppin!".

 

Breakin'! - This magazine ain't for the suckas!

This magazine ain't for the suckas!

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1984(10) 1986(8) movies(41) nicknames(14) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: breakin'!(1) breakin'! 2: electric boogaloo(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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The Heroic Journey of Two Wonderful, Influential, Benevolent Human Beings

Views: 632/12300
Added: 02/25/2009

George and Neal walked completely across the country and back in only three days back in 1986. Everyone was really impressed and George and Neal went on the talk-show circuit, landing interviews with the likes of Geraldo, Oprah, Montel, Carson, Letterman, Walters, Humperdink, Stashinova, and Elmo. A Hallmark Special Movie called "The Heroic Journey to Two Wonderful, Influential, Benevolent Human Beings" was being planned to honor their amazing heroism when, during research for the roles of George and Neal, actors Bruce Willis and Julia Roberts discovered that the country George and Neal walked across was actually Monaco and the only reason it took then three days instead of a few hours was that they stopped at several casinos during their stay. The Hallmark movie is still being planned, but has been re-titled "The Great Cross Country Scam". We're OK with that.

Tags: 1986(8) awards and recognition(12) celebrities(69) crimes & scams(16) journey(6) movies(41) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: barbara walters(1) bruce willis(1) david letterman(1) elmo(3) engelbert humperdink(1) geraldo rivera(1) hallmark(1) johnny carson(1) julia roberts(1) monaco(1) montel jordan(1) oprah winfrey(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Basic Instinct

Views: 624/6963
Added: 02/28/2009

George was the prime candidate for the Sharon Stone role in Basic Instinct. When George passed on the role, due only to the fact that taking the role would conflict with his ongoing protest against poodles (don't ask), Sharon Stone got the part.

 

Basic Instinct - Oh dear lord.

Oh dear lord.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: celebrities(69) george's fashion sense(13) movies(41)
Names Mentioned: basic instinct(1) sharon stone(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Kidnapped by Ninjas

Views: 390/5327
Added: 03/01/2009

In 2009, while writing an update to this profile, Neal was kidnapped by ninjas. (Though, truth be told, Neal took out 58 of the ninjas with his awesome karate skills. He was overpowered by the remaining 342 ninjas). Thus, George set on his 14 day quest to save Neal, which involved scaling numerous mountains, fighting 3 mountain lions and one kitten (though, he probably didn't have to fight the kitten), and taking on an armada of stealthy warriors. George's mission was a success, and now they are making a mega-blockbuster feature film. Ok, so it's not going to be a mega-blockbuster, but it'll win a few awards. Or maybe it'll just be an independent film released to a limited audience. Or a direct-to-dvd movie. Well, ok, there will just be a made-for-tv movie about it. Well, actually, not a made-for-tv movie. More of a television short. Well, more of a youtube clip. Well, okay, it was that Numa Numa clip. But that was totally symbolic of the struggles, man.

 

Kidnapped by Ninjas - That cat shouldn't have talked so much trash.

That cat shouldn't have talked so much trash.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2009(21) cats(8) journey(6) kicking ass(16) movies(41) ninjas(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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George & Neal's Excellent Adventure

Views: 385/9720
Added: 03/05/2009

In 1988, Bill and Ted went on an excellent adventure. Nothing compared to the exploits of George and Neal, which the movie was based off of. However, like all "based on a true story" movies, certain facts were glossed over or changed. For example, Neal and George learned through their time traveling exploits that Joan of Arc really loved marshmallows, Beethoven was not deaf but rather he just didn't like listening to people, Ghengis Kahn was not a real person but instead was a bear dressed in men's clothing. The movie did accurately portray Napoleon as a jerk though. That guy stole George's iPod. "Jokes on you, little man," George cried angrily, "Where you going to charge it back in your time?" Of course, to Napoleon, all he heard was "Waa Waa Waaa Waa" Charlie Brown style, because he didn't speak English. Also, George didn't say dude. His favorite word? Jaguanst.

Tags: 1988(6) ancient wonders(9) inspirations(19) ipod(2) jaguanst(8) journey(6) movies(41) napoleon(2) people of history(33) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: apple computer corporation(3) beethoven(1) bill and ted's excellent adventure(2) charlie brown(3) ghengis kahn(1) ipod(2) joan of arc(1) napoleon(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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They're all True Stories

Views: 340/10457
Added: 03/08/2009

Numerous TV shows and Movies (and also a few books) have been based on the life and times of George and Neal. Included in these are: Superman, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (as noted above, however not Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, at least not yet), The Game, Indiana Jones (the first three), Goonies, Knight Rider, The A-Team, Welcome Back Kotter, Gone with the Wind, Beavis & Butthead, Altered States, James and the Giant Peach, everything by Neil Gaiman, Get Smart, Gunsmoke, The Muppet Show, Soylent Green, Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Lorax, Casablanca, Animal Farm, Star Trek Deep Space 9, Hamlet, Tales of a Geisha, and plenty more...

Tags: a-team(2) awards and recognition(12) inspirations(19) knight rider(2) movies(41) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: altered states(1) animal farm(1) a-team(3) beavis & butthead(2) bill and ted's bogus journey(1) bill and ted's excellent adventure(2) casablanca(1) get smart(1) gone with the wind(1) goonies(1) gunsmoke(1) hamlet(1) indiana jones(1) james and the giant peach(1) knight rider(2) muppet show(1) neil gaiman(1) plan 9 from outer space(1) soylent green(1) star trek deep space 9(1) superman(1) tales of a geisha(1) the game(1) the lorax(1) welcome back kotter(2)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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The Prolific Pancake Pileup

Views: 773/7744
Added: 03/12/2009

Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that's just what happened. They made a fortune as a result, but lost it all when multiple lawsuits were filed against George and Neal after they chucked countless pancakes at oncoming traffic. (Wikipedia "the Prolific Pancake Pileup" for more information). A movie, "The Illinois Pancake Massacre", involving a serial killer who used pancakes as his weapon of choice, was only loosely based on the incident.

 

The Prolific Pancake Pileup - Uncle Buck has a long way to go before he can match these babies. We had traffic stopped for three days while crews cleaned up syrup and butter.

Uncle Buck has a long way to go before he can match these babies. We had traffic stopped for three days while crews cleaned up syrup and butter.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1952(3) food(45) inventions(49) lawsuits(13) movies(41) recipes(10)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) illinois(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
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A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

Views: 336/6892
Added: 03/16/2009

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, nothing happened because Star Wars was just a story made up by George Lucas (although the plot was loosely based on George and Neal's adventures with a similar all-encompassing power called the Farce). However, last week in this galaxy George and Neal were lost and trying to figure out a way to get back to the Milky Way. Their GPS unit was on the fritz and told them they were in the Pegasus galaxy even though they were actually in Stickney, Illinois. It was an understandable mistake.

Tags: failures(22) inspirations(19) journey(6) movies(41) star wars(7)
Names Mentioned: illinois(3) milky way galaxy(1) pegasus galaxy(1) star wars(7) stargate(2) stickney(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Smells That I Can Produce and Then Identify

Views: 368/7463
Added: 03/19/2009

Neal and George's love of board games inspired George W. Bush to create his own line of games. He really wanted to create complex games that require an immense amount of concentration. His games, "Count Your Noses", "Connect the Dot", and "Smells That I Can Produce and Then Identify" are currently in production. 21st Century Fox has optioned the movie rights for all three games. George and Neal are considering filing lawsuits for co-creator rights.

 

Smells That I Can Produce and Then Identify - It's more challenging than it looks...

It's more challenging than it looks...

Photo by: George

Tags: games(15) george w. bush(5) movies(41)
Names Mentioned: 21st century fox(1) george w. bush(4)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: George (1)

 
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1964 through 1969

Views: 389/6426
Added: 03/28/2009

In 1983 Neal and George co-wrote a short story that chronicled their adventures from 1964 through 1969. The story was well received in the literary community and we received several offers to turn the story into full length novels. We approved two authors to take our story and develop their own interpretations. Both books (the latter actually a series of four books) became best sellers and eventually were turned into screenplays as well. Band of Brothers was a huge success as an HBO mini-series. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants also became a box-office hit and spawned a sequel movie that actually was more true to actual events than the books.

 

1964 through 1969 - So very much happened during those five years.

So very much happened during those five years.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1964(3) 1969(2) 1983(6) inspirations(19) movies(41) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: band of brothers(1) hbo(1) sisterhood of the travelling pants(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Under Siege

Views: 681/4359
Added: 04/01/2009

In 1992 George and Neal starred in the blockbuster action hit "Under Siege". George starred as the ex-Navy SEAL turned cook who must protect an aircraft carrier from a group of mercenaries. Neal starred as the helpless stripper that jumped out of a birthday cake at the wrong time.

 

Under Siege - George and Neal in their respective roles for the blockbuster hit, "Under Siege". Do a search - Neal's picture is all over the internet for this scene.

George and Neal in their respective roles for the blockbuster hit, "Under Siege". Do a search - Neal's picture is all over the internet for this scene.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1992(2) movies(41) neal's fashion sense(21)
Names Mentioned: under siege(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party

Views: 342/15360
Added: 04/04/2009

Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Territory". George would bake the cakes and deliver them and Neal would jump out of them. This was a very successful business until August, 1998, when Neal believed he was being sent to a bachelorette party. At the designated time Neal leaped out of the cake and began shaking his stuff while bills got stuffed into his speedo. After about 10 minutes Neal realized that the laughs were slightly deeper than what he would expect from a bachelorette party. Upon wiping the whipped cream from his eyes Neal realized he was actually at Jerry Falwell's 65th birthday party and Mr. Falwell was just about to stuff another $20 into Neal's G-String. Neal shouted and ran, closely followed by a mob of seniors stuffing change down his coin slot, toward the door yelling for George to "Start the van! Start the van!" Neal escaped with a whopping $1,642.63 in those 10 short minutes, not including the roll of quarters he kept stuffed in his banana hammock.

 

Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Taken just seconds before Neal took off running, much to Jerry and Pat's disappointment.

Taken just seconds before Neal took off running, much to Jerry and Pat's disappointment.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1992(2) 1998(9) business ventures(46) celebrities(69) christian(8) food(45) movies(41) neal's fashion sense(21) phallus(8) religion(11) scantily clad people(15) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: jerry falwell(2) pat robertson(1) under siege(3) under siege 2: dark territory(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Religious iDeals

Views: 379/8935
Added: 04/05/2009

In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of this religion involved eating lots of chocolate, sleeping, makin' sweet love down by the fire, and playing video games (the latter being extremely difficult in 1935). Wanting to follow in Neal's footsteps, George created his own religion in 1944, called The First United Orthodox Church of Georgish Science. George amazed his followers by constantly quoting from the Simpsons and the Blues Brothers. Since neither had been created in 1944, his people found George to be the funniest, wittiest man alive.

Tags: 1935(1) 1944(1) food(45) government(16) movies(41) religion(11) science(28) tv shows(49) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: blues brothers(1) the simpsons(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Views: 604/6952
Added: 05/08/2009

Given the success of the novel (and soon to be movie) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a mashup story combining Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel Pride and Prejudice with elements of modern zombie fiction), Neal and George decided to pen a few of their own novels. George wrote "Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre" a riveting tale about a family with cute adoptive kids who go on murderous sprees (when you hear "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout?" you better RUN!). Neal decided to write the kid-friendly "Cujo vs. Clifford" in which Clifford the Big Red Dog convinces Cujo to go to the vet to get rabies shots. The two joined forces on the lovable undead family comedic drama, "Mummy Dearest". None of the aforementioned books have been optioned as movies, and many literary organizations have banded together to prevent Neal and George from ever writing another word again.

 

Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Not surprisingly, Ms. Garrett was the mastermind behind it all.

Not surprisingly, Ms. Garrett was the mastermind behind it all.

Photo by: Neal

"Word" - Ha, they failed to stop us!

Tags: mashups(12) movies(41) tv shows(49) zombies(21)
Names Mentioned: clifford teh big red dog(1) cujo(8) different strokes(1) jane austen(1) mommy dearest(1) pride and prejudice and zombies(1) texas chainsaw massacre(1) the mummy(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Aging gracefully...

Views: 309/5067
Added: 05/11/2009

Although principles of space-time restrict George and Neal from interacting with their older or younger selves (without proper precautions there is a high risk of imploding the universe - also, doing so causes all baked goods to smell like old cheese for some reason), Neal and George decided, what the hey, let's see what we're like as old men. George fortunately found out that he seemed to have discovered an elixir that caused him to age in reverse a la Benjamin Button. Here is George at age 160:

 

Aging gracefully... - He'd as soon kill you as look at you.

He'd as soon kill you as look at you.

Photo by: Neal

Neal, on the other hand, immediately suffered a minor heart attack and still suffers from what is likely a form of post traumatic stress disorder upon discovering what he'd look like later in life:

 

Aging ungracefully... - Neal at the ripe old age of 40.

Neal at the ripe old age of 40.

Photo by: Neal

And that's just age 40.

Tags: aging(2) mental trauma(8) movies(41) paradox(1) science(28)
Names Mentioned: benjamin button(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)

 
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Dirk Diggler Ain't Got Nothin'

Views: 354/8927
Added: 06/01/2009

In 1991, Neal and George were beaten up by "Marky Mark" Wahlberg and 1 member of his Funky Bunch (specifically, Hector the Bootie Inspector). After knocking Neal and George unconscious, Marky and Hector took their clothes. On the plus side, Neal's tremendous *ahem* character inspired Mark Walhberg's character, Dirk Diggler, in the movie Boogie Nights. George also inspired Mark Wahlberg's character in his forthcoming movie, Little People, because all people look little compared to George.

Tags: 1991(3) celebrities(69) movies(41) music(26) phallus(8)
Names Mentioned: boogie nights(1) dirk diggler(1) hector barros (hector the booty inspector)(1) mark wahlberg (marky mark)(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Starring George & Neal!!!

Views: 1135/9966
Added: 06/06/2009

Wanting to attain fame, but hoping to do so with as little effort as humanly possible, George and Neal went back in time to be recast in Hollywood blockbuster movies and shows. First, Neal "borrowed" Barret Oliver's role in The Neverending Story.

 

Starring George & Neal!!! - "Whee! Whee! Wh... Hey, this thing smells like an old foot. Can we stop shooting?"

"Whee! Whee! Wh... Hey, this thing smells like an old foot. Can we stop shooting?"

Photo by: Neal

Then Neal was cast in our nation's finest show, Gimme a Break! - assuming the role previously cast by Joey Lawrence.

 

Whoa! - If Shakespeare were alive, he'd be jealous.

If Shakespeare were alive, he'd be jealous.

Photo by: Neal

Wanting to get in on the fun, George took Ron Howard's role as Opie Taylor in the Andy Griffith Show.

 

Goodby Ronnie! - This is the reason scientists worked tirelessly to create Tivo.

This is the reason scientists worked tirelessly to create Tivo.

Photo by: Neal

After Neal appeared in both the 70's movie Star Wars, as well as the show about the 70's, "That 70's Show", Neal retired his acting career/identity theft.

 

That 70's Star Wars Show - Neal is the one on the left.

Neal is the one on the left.

Photo by: Neal

 

Topher Said "No!" - Topher Grace was less than thrilled at the new direction of the show.

Topher Grace was less than thrilled at the new direction of the show.

Photo by: Neal

George, however, went on to star in The Brady Bunch, Punky Brewster, The A-Team, Cheers, Three's Company, and All in the Family before moving on to his newest passion, competitive Butter Churning. (The First Rule of Competitive Butter Churning... You Do Not Talk About Butter Churning. The second rule is pretty much the same as the first.)

 

Punky Georgester - With hair of... um... nevermind.

With hair of... um... nevermind.

Photo by: Neal

 

Georgantium - The sexual tension between George and Rhea Perlman was so intense that scientists classified it as a new periodic element ("Georgantium")

The sexual tension between George and Rhea Perlman was so intense that scientists classified it as a new periodic element ("Georgantium")

Photo by: Neal

Tags: movies(41) star wars(7) time machine(37) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: all in the family(1) andy griffith(1) a-team(3) barret oliver(1) brady bunch(2) cheers(1) fight club(1) gimme a break(1) hollywood(3) joey lawrence(1) neverending story(2) opie taylor(1) punky brewster(1) rhea perlman(1) ron howard(2) star wars(7) that 70s show(1) three's company(2) topher grace(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (7)

 
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Sock Film Classics - Thelma and Louise

Views: 303/8063
Added: 06/06/2009

After the success of placing themselves into the roles of classic sitcom characters George and Neal did the same thing with movies. But this time instead of replacing the original stars with themselves they replaced the stars with a collection of sock puppets. Surprisingly these already hit movies fared even better with the sock stars than they did with live actors. Some of our classic films include "Thelma & Louise", "The Shining", "Run Lola Run", "The Invisible Man" (in which we debuted our new color film process - we thought a see through man was a much better case for introducing the world to color movies than that creepy land of Oz), and "The Godfather".

 

Sock Film Classics - Thelma and Louise - If you look closely in the end scene you'll notice that the socks in the car are just George's dirty laundry.

If you look closely in the end scene you'll notice that the socks in the car are just George's dirty laundry.

Photo by: George

 

Sock Film Classics - The Shining - All work and no play makes Jack a smelly sock...

All work and no play makes Jack a smelly sock...

Photo by: George

 

Sock Film Classics - Run Lola Run - Actually, it was more of a "Glide across the frame Lola, glide..."

Actually, it was more of a "Glide across the frame Lola, glide..."

Photo by: George

 

Sock Film Classics - The Invisible Man - Unfortunately due to special effects budget limitations, only the sock was made invisible.

Unfortunately due to special effects budget limitations, only the sock was made invisible.

Photo by: George

 

Sock Film Classics - The Godfather - "Don" Corleone actually spoke clear enough to understand perfectly all the time.

"Don" Corleone actually spoke clear enough to understand perfectly all the time.

Photo by: George

Just for fun, we even re-did the Pauley Shore classic "Son In Law" using the oldest, most rancid, sweat stained, left in the bottom of the bag for decades set of Neal's gym socks that we could find, however we still couldn't get the movie to stink worse than Pauley's original.

 

Sock Film Classics - Son In Law - Replacing Pauley Shore was the best thing that ever happened for this film. It received 6 Oscar nominations, walking home with 4 of the awards, including "Best Sock".

Replacing Pauley Shore was the best thing that ever happened for this film. It received 6 Oscar nominations, walking home with 4 of the awards, including "Best Sock".

Photo by: George

Tags: awards and recognition(12) mashups(12) movies(41)
Names Mentioned: academy awards(2) invisible man(1) pauley shore(1) run lola run(1) son in law(1) the godfather(1) the shining(1) thelma & louise(1) wizard of oz(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (6)

 
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George, Digitally Inserted

Views: 448/7772
Added: 07/10/2009

In 1997, due to George's deep love of Star Wars, as well as his admiration of George Lucas (less as a result of Lucas's accomplishments and more because of Lucas's awesome first name), George asked to be involved in the Star Wars prequels. However, when George read the script to Episode I, he quickly decided he did not want to be involved in the project (or in George's words, "Meesa want nuting to do wit'de feeellllm, Ani!"). Instead, he dumped quantums of money in Lucas' lap, requesting that he be digitally inserted into the "original" trilogy. Caring little about continuity (come on Lucas, Greedo shoots first???), Lucas complied. Happy with the results, George has since contacted Spielberg so that he could be included in JAWS, Orson Welles's Citizen Kane, and replacing Bill Cosby in Leonard: Part 6 (it didn't help).

 

George, Digitally Inserted - "Luke... the Force.... it's just midi-chlorians..." "That's not true! That's impossible!"

"Luke... the Force.... it's just midi-chlorians..." "That's not true! That's impossible!"

Photo by: Neal

 

Hayden Christiansen - Axed! - Hayden Christiansen must be rolling over in his... um... big comfy bed, in a huge mansion.

Hayden Christiansen must be rolling over in his... um... big comfy bed, in a huge mansion.

Photo by: Neal

 

Rosebud! - Despite never having seen Citizen Kane, George was insistent on having a part... He played the snow globe.

Despite never having seen Citizen Kane, George was insistent on having a part... He played the snow globe.

Photo by: Neal - Caption by: George

Tags: 1997(6) celebrities(69) movies(41) star wars(7)
Names Mentioned: bill cosby(1) citizen kane(1) george lucas(2) hayden christiansen(1) jaws(1) leonard: part 6(1) orson welles(1) star wars(7)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)

 
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Get To Da Choppa!

Views: 420/12131
Added: 08/13/2009

In 2020 George and Neal produced a very special episode of Dateline's "To Catch A Predator". It was a great success and they captured a lion, three grizzly bears, a pair of jaguars, three red-tailed hawks, six rattlesnakes, one mongoose, a vast assortment of spiders, a man-o-war jellyfish, a tyrannosaurus rex, two alligators, a couple of venus flytraps, and one big dude with glow-in-the-dark blood, awesome mandibles, greenish skin, rad dreads, and some pretty cool weapons. We've been asked back to do a follow up special where we'll attempt to catch the elusive Nashville Predators.

 

Get To Da Choppa! - Chris Hansen with our catch of the day. Let me tell you, this guy was not happy. He kept muttering about how he was only after the queen. Later we had to call an exterminator to clean up an infestation of Internecivus raptus, but since this was To Catch A Predator and not To Catch A Parasite, those clips didn't air.

Chris Hansen with our catch of the day. Let me tell you, this guy was not happy. He kept muttering about how he was only after the queen. Later we had to call an exterminator to clean up an infestation of Internecivus raptus, but since this was To Catch A Predator and not To Catch A Parasite, those clips didn't air.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2020(5) celebrities(69) movies(41) sports(24) success!(13) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: alien(2) alien vs predator(2) arnold schwarzenegger(1) chris hansen(1) dateline(2) nashville predators(1) predator(1) to catch a predator(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Connect One

Views: 1300/5426
Added: 08/20/2009

After "Connect the Dot" the movie broke box office records, George and Neal decided to create a new game upon which to base another movie. The result? Connect One, an instant classic.

 

Connect One - It's all about strategy.

It's all about strategy.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: games(15) inventions(49) movies(41)
Names Mentioned: connect four(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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I Dare You!

Views: 297/14258
Added: 08/25/2009

On September 6, 2010, George and Neal initiated a series of dares, each more shocking than the last. It started innocently enough, when George dared Neal to eat a live worm (not knowing that Neal had done this for free in the past, on a number of occasions). Neal then dared George to go back in time and dress like a woman at a number of milestones in his life.

 

I Dare You! - Although there were those who thought George was the bride, it was still a beautiful ceremony. George decided to keep the toaster that he received; the newlyweds didn't seem to mind.

Although there were those who thought George was the bride, it was still a beautiful ceremony. George decided to keep the toaster that he received; the newlyweds didn't seem to mind.

Photo by: Neal

After George went to numerous weddings, funerals, birthday parties, circumcisions, etc. dressed as a woman, George then dared Neal to not be witty, funny and/or suave for one day. (Neal of course could not do so - his awesomeness is by instinct not design). After trying (and failing) not to be awesome, Neal then dared George to erase Dan Ackroyd's entire existence. George did so with ease and great pleasure. Of course, George had to find someone to fill in the now Ackroyd-less roles...

 

Dan Ack-who? - Now George's come-on, "Hey baby, wanna see my proton pack?" makes sense.

Now George's come-on, "Hey baby, wanna see my proton pack?" makes sense.

Photo by: Neal

The dares continued, each more fantastic than the last, which all culminated somehow in Neal thinking he could take on Muhammad Ali in his prime. Six concussions later, he discovered he could not. Neal would have continued the dare contest, but after multiple blows to the skull, he forgot all about the contest and for some reason instead decided to be a divorce attorney. George was satisfied, believing that somehow this meant he won the contest.

 

Neal vs Cassius Clay - Funny, Neal doesn't remember this at all. (George, on the other hand, remembers it very, very clearly, having profited immensely from all the shirts, DVDs, postcards, "Happy Birthday, Grandma" birthday cards, toilet paper, penile enlargement packs, and other products he sold bearing this image. Thanks George.)

Funny, Neal doesn't remember this at all. (George, on the other hand, remembers it very, very clearly, having profited immensely from all the shirts, DVDs, postcards, "Happy Birthday, Grandma" birthday cards, toilet paper, penile enlargement packs, and other products he sold bearing this image. Thanks George.)

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2010(16) business ventures(46) celebrities(69) competition(10) food(45) George's Fashion Sense(13) movies(41) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13)
Names Mentioned: cassius clay(1) dan ackroyd(1) ghost busters(1) muhammad ali(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)

 
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Girls Gone Tame

Views: 286/5093
Added: 09/02/2009

In 2021, to capitalize on the new, extremely modest trends in fashion, George and Neal made millions off their new video series called "Girls Gone Tame". In exchange for putting on an extra petticoat, George and Neal would provide college girls with a sweater with a tiny "Girls Gone Tame" logo embroidered discreetly on it. Wrrrrrowwww...

 

Girls Gone Tame - You should hear about all the stuff they weren't willing to do...

You should hear about all the stuff they weren't willing to do...

Photo by: George

Tags: 2021(3) movies(41) scantily clad people(15) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: girls gone wild(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Two Seamstresses, One Thimble

Views: 542/5845
Added: 11/19/2009

In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral video, "Two Seamstresses, One Thimble."

Tags: 1878(1) movies(41) people of history(33) scantily clad people(15) thimbles(2) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: eadweard muybridge(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Horton Hears A Gremlin

Views: 344/10963
Added: 12/02/2009

In the early 2000's, George and Neal were hired by FOX studios to pitch movie ideas. Given their many adventures, you'd think they would have a wealth of ideas for hit movies. As it turns out, they did not. Instead, George and Neal decided to follow the example made by the immensely financially successful "Aliens Versus Predators (AVP)" (e.g. lazily combining two movie properties together rather than coming up with actual cogent ideas). Neal and George started combining movie properties in hopes of creating blockbusters. It worked - they made a fortune producing such memorable hits as "Horton Hears A Gremlin," "That was Then, This is Apocalypse Now!", "The Wizard of Blade Runner", and "Aliens versus Peanuts". Thereafter, they tried to branch out into making other types of movies, but had little success. After creating "The Entirely Ending Story", they called it a day.

 

Horton Hears A Gremlin - Though the movie holds an 86% on RottenTomatoes.com, the novelization is far superior, as it includes emotionally resonant subtext completely absent in the movie.

Though the movie holds an 86% on RottenTomatoes.com, the novelization is far superior, as it includes emotionally resonant subtext completely absent in the movie.

Photo by: Neal

 

Aliens versus Peanuts - The kids made fun of Linus constantly, but at least the Great Pumpkin didn't have two sets of teeth and an appetite for human flesh.

The kids made fun of Linus constantly, but at least the Great Pumpkin didn't have two sets of teeth and an appetite for human flesh.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2000s(2) art is art(10) mashups(12) movies(41) peanuts(6)
Names Mentioned: alien(2) alien vs predator(2) apocalypse now(1) blade runner(1) charlie brown(3) dr. seuss(2) fox(2) gremlins(1) horton hears a who(1) linus(1) neverending story(2) peanuts(1) rottontomatoes.com(1) that was then this is now(1) wizard of oz(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)

 
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Documentaries

Views: 304/8411
Added: 12/10/2009

Throughout the years George and Neal have helped create several famous documentaries, including Gheorghe Marinescu's "The walking troubles of organic hemiplegy" and "The walking troubles of organic paraplegies"; Edward S. Curtis's "In the Land of the Head Hunters"; Robert J. Flaherty's "Nanook of the North"; William Shakespeare's "Hamlet", "A Midsummer Night's Dream", and "Macbeth"; and Michael Moore's "SiCKO"; and James Cameron's "Terminator".

Tags: celebrities(69) education(9) movies(41) people of history(33) robots(7)
Names Mentioned: edward s. curtis(1) gheorghe marinescu(1) james cameron(1) michael moore(1) robert j. flaherty(1) william shakespeare(2)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Hungry Eyes

Views: 386/13286
Added: 08/25/2012

In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was initiated by the split with Greyhound Lines (yes, the bus company - he really likes vehicles named after fast, skinny animals) and in anger he decided to boycott Dial soap and protest. Some people suggested he just follow Greyhound Lines, but his fear of Texas prevented him from heading to Dallas. So for 3 months Neal danced outside Dial Corporation's new headquarters in Phoenix, Arizona. While Neal's protest didn't garner any attention from either Dial Corporation or Greyhound Lines, it did inspire the title for Eleanor Bergstein's screenplay (up to then titled "A Corner for Baby"). "Dirty Dancing" became a huge hit, and Neal never received the credit for his inspiration. Surprisingly, George played the role of muse for part of the movie, too. John DeNicola and Franke Previte were inspired to write the song "Hungry Eyes" after meeting George shortly after a short circuit caused the teleportation device to erroneously reconstruct George with extra mouths where his eyes should have been (fortunately his eyes were relocated to his extra tongues, so he could see and scream at the same time).

 

Hungry Eyes - Luckily the teleportation device replaced all George's body parts in their proper locations before he needed to eat a meal. That would have looked pretty nasty.

Luckily the teleportation device replaced all George's body parts in their proper locations before he needed to eat a meal. That would have looked pretty nasty.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1987(7) body parts(14) celebrities(69) chicago(10) inspirations(19) movies(41) music(26) neal funk(18) teleportation(10)
Names Mentioned: arizona(1) chicago(14) dallas(1) dial corporation(1) dirty dancing(1) eleanor bergstein(1) franke previte(1) greyhound lines(1) john denicola(1) phoenix(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend

Views: 437/10128
Added: 08/26/2012

In 2022 Neal was having a mid-life crisis and had decided to head to Vegas to gamble his life savings away. George joined him thinking it would be a great opportunity to film a documentary. George recorded Neal's obsessive gambling (slots, blackjack, roulette, he tried everything to no avail). Eventually, Neal was completely broke (had even sold his shoes, pants and shirt) and had finally resorted to singing parodies of Weird Al songs in the hopes of earning a few cents or a crust of bread. An unusually sympathetic transvestite chorus girl (guy?) decided to give him a break and tossed $5 in his plastic tip cup. He immediately used it to play Keno at the Mirage, and won! And he didn't stop winning until he had earned $1.5 million, plus a new pair of pants! By 2030 Neal was a multi-billionaire and George won an Oscar for their documentary, entitled "Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend".

 

Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend - It is suspected that this movie's Academy Award wasn't the result of the heartwarming, incredible story of Neal's Keno winnings, but rather the fact that George narrated the whole thing while breathing massive quantities of helium. Also the narration had nothing to do with the movie, but was just George reading from The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

It is suspected that this movie's Academy Award wasn't the result of the heartwarming, incredible story of Neal's Keno winnings, but rather the fact that George narrated the whole thing while breathing massive quantities of helium. Also the narration had nothing to do with the movie, but was just George reading from The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2022(4) 2030(3) celebrities(69) games(15) movies(41) music(26) scantily clad people(15) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: academy awards(2) las vegas(1) mirage hotel and casino(1) weird al yankovic(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Welcome Back Potter

Views: 354/5571
Added: 08/27/2012

Overwhelmed by the success of the Harry Potter franchise (books, movies, games, cereals, tampons, etc.) and eager to revive the 1970's sitcoms, in 2009 George and Neal created the show, "Welcome Back Potter." It was an instant success, if you measured success by how quickly a show gets removed from a network.

 

Welcome Back Potter - Above: promotional photograph for "Harry Potter and the Unruly Sweathogs".

Above: promotional photograph for "Harry Potter and the Unruly Sweathogs".

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1970s(3) 2009(21) mashups(12) movies(41) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: Harry Potter(8) welcome back kotter(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Sleep Sleep Revolution

Views: 308/4607
Added: 08/27/2012

Hoping to get in on the "full body motion" video games made popular by the Wii and XBox Kinect, George and Neal invented "Sleep Sleep Revolution." Sales were sluggish, likely because the target demographic was too lazy to venture out to buy a copy.

 

Sleep Sleep Revolution - "So warm... So cozy... So inviting.... ARE YOU UP TO THE CHALLENGE???"

"So warm... So cozy... So inviting.... ARE YOU UP TO THE CHALLENGE???"

Photo by: Neal

Tags: inventions(49) movies(41) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: dance dance revolution(1) xbox kinect(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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3014 Was Weird

Views: 350/17512
Added: 09/23/2012

In 3014, feeling melancholy as a result of a worldwide illness that removed the human eye's ability to detect a significant amount of electromagnetic radiation on the visible spectrum (the R and the G were notably absent, leaving only the B - which as an aside contributed to Van Gogh's Blue period after he traveled with Neal and George to -- eh, that's a story for another time), George and Neal decided to brighten up the world's mood by releasing board games based on popular movies. The games were a big hit, as the people of 3014 were very nostalgic towards movies that were made between 1975 and 2012. In retrospect, the games were complete nonsense, with rules from 20+ other games sloppily cobbled together. None of them made any sense. Therefore, Michael Bay Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr's grandson rushed to option the rights to make them into movies.

 

3014 Was Weird - Psychological torture was never so much fun!

Psychological torture was never so much fun!

Photo by: Neal

 

One Flew Over the...  Mousetrap? - I'm fairly positive they literally just repackaged the game Mouse Trap.

I'm fairly positive they literally just repackaged the game Mouse Trap.

Photo by: Neal

 

Eeew.... - The directions require you to take at least two showers after playing.

The directions require you to take at least two showers after playing.

Photo by: Neal

The popularity of the games reached such great heights that, in thanks and gratitude, others created games based upon the life of George and Neal. The game was so complicated due to the frequent time traveling and history altering events, that it caused 95% of the people attempting to play to lose their sanity. The remaining 5% had little sanity to begin with, so...

 

The Game of (Our) Life - The girl on the left is mere moments away from a total mental meltdown.

The girl on the left is mere moments away from a total mental meltdown.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1975(2) 2012(14) 3014(2) celebrities(69) diseases(9) games(15) movies(41)
Names Mentioned: magic mike(1) michael bay(1) one flew over the cuckoo's nest(1) sophie's choice(1) vincent van gogh(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (4)

 
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George Neal

Views: 585/18888
Added: 09/24/2012

In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or George watched the 1986 Jeff Goldblum film, The Fly, which illuminated the dangers of teleportation. When the first opportunity arose to use the teleportation device, the men fought over who could use it first. George raised the fact that whoever went first had the potential to be a Neal Armstrong-like figure. Neal raised the fact that Neal Armstrong's first name was Neal, and therefore he should go first. It was sound logic. George refused to accept it, however, and flung himself into the device. Neal did the same. The result was catastrophic (and sexy), in which Neal and George's DNA were combined, creating what at least two people believe to be the smartest man in history. This amalgamation dubbed itself "George Neal." Unfortunately, while the teleportation / recombination was occurring, knobs got fiddled accidentally (that's what she said) and George Neal was flung back into the late 1700's. Though possessing great knowledge and incredible oration skills, George Neal had none of the memories of George or Neal. George Neal believed himself to be the son of a Scottish Highlander who set up permanent residence in South Carolina. For reasons unknown, George Neal chose to stay loyal to the British during the War of Independence. George Neal distinguished himself during the war, even being promoted to Major. He later became an explorer, exploring the north shore of Lake Erie by boat. Ultimately, after leaving America, Major Neal became Canada's first saddlebag preacher for the Methodist church.

 

George Neal - Voted sexiest man alive, 1821.

Voted sexiest man alive, 1821.

Photo by: Neal

Major Neal married, had a daughter Esther, and purchased 200 acres in the Port Rowan Long Point area at Cope's Landing, Ontario. On February 27, 1840, while his granddaughter was reading scripture to him, Major George Neal was hit on the head with an errant pineapple. How the pineapple found its way to Canada remains a mystery. In any event, the noggin clockin' caused the amnesia to disappear and both George and Neal's memories overwhelmed Major Neal.

Missing his/their respective families (and vowing he/they would never tell them about his/their wife, children, grandchildren, and Canadian property ownership), Major Neal faked his/their death the very next day. It was easy back then. He/they just said, "I'm dying" closed his eyes, and held his/their breath. When no one was looking, he/they built a rudimentary time machine out of twigs, berries, and of course, rocks and put it in his/their pocket. After his/their burial, he/they activated the time machine, traveling back to 2029. He/they reverse-engineered their DNA joining (did I mention, ewww?), thereby finally separating George and Neal. There were little long-term physical ramifications, other than Neal smelling like George (egg drop soup) and George smelling like neal (feet, soaked in egg drop soup). Like everything else in this chronology, the events were entirely true. As proof, one need only to visit the Neal Memorial Methodist Church in Port Rowan, Ontario (which was established in September 1912 by George Neal's grandson, Rev. George Neal Hazen, and which still remains to honor "Canada's First Saddlebag Preacher"). One could also read more about these events at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Neal.

Tags: 1700s(1) 1912(1) 1986(8) 2029(2) britain(9) celebrities(69) christian(8) genetics(16) george funk(11) historic events(18) movies(41) neal funk(18) offspring(13) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) people of history(33) religion(11) teleportation(10) that's what she said(6) time machine(37) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) canada(4) george neal(1) jeff goldblum(1) lake erie(1) neil armstrong(1) ontario(1) rev. george neal hazen(1) scotland(3) south carolina(1) the fly(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016

Views: 386/13853
Added: 10/18/2012

Exhausted with the mean-spirited nature of recent presidential elections as well as the inability of presidents to follow through on campaign promises, George and Neal decided to run for president in 2016. Problems quickly arose when the two could not agree which one would run as President and which one would be relegated to the position of Vice-President. They decided to let the public decide, by using the time machine to run both a Jaros/Simon campaign AND a Simon/Jaros campaign.

 

Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016 -

 

Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016 - These pins are considered extremely rare and valuable (by the insane).

These pins are considered extremely rare and valuable (by the insane).

Photo by: Neal

It became very confusing when Neal debated George during the Presidential debate, followed by Neal debating George during the Vice-Presidential debate.

 

2016 Presidential and Vice Presidential Debates - Neal's constant mugging was as arousing as it was distracting.

Neal's constant mugging was as arousing as it was distracting.

Photo by: Neal

Their seemingly infallible plan to hold the highest office backfired, as exactly 49.5% of the voters cast their ballots for the Jaros/Simon combo, and exactly 49.5% of voters cast their ballots for the Simon/Jaros combo. Due to an obscure law that George and Neal unfortunately passed during their three day reign in 1943, the winner was determined by the remaining 1%, which voted as follows: 15% for Ross Perot, 10% for Harrison Ford (thinking he did a wonderful job in the Air Force One movie), 20% for Peter J. Oberweis (running on a "ice cream shall be mandated a vegetable" platform), 25% for Howard the Duck, and the remaining votes went to the winner and write-in candidate, Ralph Nader. Ironically, Nader declined the position. This explains how, for 4 years, the leader of the free world was almost a duck. (Thank goodness ducks were outlawed in 1776.) This also explains why, in 2018 ice cream was declared a vegetable.

Tags: 1776(2) 1943(2) 2016(8) celebrities(69) competition(10) ducks(3) government(16) laws(10) movies(41) politics(9)
Names Mentioned: air force one(1) harrison ford(1) howard the duck(1) peter j. oberweis(1) ralph nader(1) ross perot(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)

 
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They like us, they REALLY like us!

Views: 291/10538
Added: 03/23/2013

Somehow, a tribute video was found in 1035 A.D. Weird... The video is a collection of photos from some of George and Neal's greatest achievements, set to a song that sounds remarkably like Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You". Awwww, how touching... (Eeew, get your hands off!) 1035 A. D.? We KNEW Sarah McLachlan ripped that song off of somebody. Strange, her version sounds almost exactly the same as the one from almost 1000 years ago! And gee, whoever did that song sure misses us. We should probably go back and visit.

 




1035 A.D.!!!
No video? Visit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPT3JEFDACo

Tags: 1035(1) awards and recognition(12) celebrities(69) movies(41) music(26) videos(1)
Names Mentioned: Sarah McLachlan(1)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: George & Neal Collaboration (1)

 
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Mace, the other Dark Side

Views: 334/6478
Added: 04/11/2013

Darth Vader was not Luke's father. A paternity test by Maury Povich revealed to Vader that "You are NOT the father!". After checking six other potential candidates, including Obi-wan Kenobi, Emperor Palpatine, Bail Organa, Lando Calrissian, Commander Cody (as well as all his Lost Planet Airmen), and even Yoda, it was finally revealed that Luke's father was in fact Mace Windu. I guess Padmé had a little 'dark side' in her, too.

 

Mace, the other Dark Side - It's a good thing for Maury that all weapons are collected at the entrance to the television studio before tapings, a full-time job for his security, otherwise he'd have a purple lightsaber in a very uncomfortable place (and no, not like the back of a Volkswagen).

It's a good thing for Maury that all weapons are collected at the entrance to the television studio before tapings, a full-time job for his security, otherwise he'd have a purple lightsaber in a very uncomfortable place (and no, not like the back of a Volkswagen).

Photo by: George

Tags: genetics(16) movies(41) star wars(7) who's your daddy(1)
Names Mentioned: Bail Organa(1) commander cody(1) commander cody and his lost planet airmen(1) darth vader(1) emperor palpatine(1) lando calrissian(1) mace windu(1) mallrats(1) maury povich(1) obi-wan kenobi(1) yoda(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Skullets Rock!

Views: 620/19617
Added: 11/21/2013

In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick tried, but after a few months Patrick decided the mowhawk wasn't an edgy enough hair and it was time to go for a classically timeless skullet. He wore the skullet to great success as Gurney Halleck in 1984's Dune, however in 1987 Neal tried to talk Patrick into turning the skullet into Bozo hair, but he wisely refused and instead decided to go for the full cue ball effect. The glabrescent style became part of his trademark look and helped him land the iconic role of Captain Jean Luc Picard after Robert H. Justman, producer for a revival of a long-cancelled television show, saw Patrick while attending a literary reading at UCLA. The rest is, as they say, "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot."

 

Skullets Rock! - 'The Prime Directive is not just a set of rules; it is a philosophy ... and a very correct one. History has proven again and again that whenever mankind interferes with a less developed civilization, no matter how well intentioned that interference may be, the results are invariably disastrous, but not as disastrous as this hair cut.' - Jean Luc Picard'Messing with less developed civilizations is fun!' - George and Neal

'The Prime Directive is not just a set of rules; it is a philosophy ... and a very correct one. History has proven again and again that whenever mankind interferes with a less developed civilization, no matter how well intentioned that interference may be, the results are invariably disastrous, but not as disastrous as this hair cut.' - Jean Luc Picard

'Messing with less developed civilizations is fun!' - George and Neal

Photo by: George

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Names Mentioned: dune(1) frank herbert(1) gurney halleck(1) jean luc picard(1) patrick stewart(1) robert h. justman(1) star trek(2) ucla(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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The Wilhelm Scream and Other Sounds

Views: 517/15083
Added: 04/24/2014

The Wilhelm Scream is pretty well known for being a sound effect used in many, many movies. What is less well known is that George and Neal also provided sound effects that have been used in numerous movies, too. George made the original Jaros Yodel and Neal made the sounds for the Simon Whimper.

 


Listen to and download:
The Jaros Yodel.

The Simon Whimper.

Tags: amazing abilities(16) get aural(2) great music(4) in good company(6) mental trauma(8) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(8) movies(41) music(26) sounds our bodies can make(1) turn it up and rock out(1) tv shows(49) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: wilhelm scream(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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World's Firster Selfie

Views: 221/2801
Added: 07/11/2016

After Neal claimed to be in the first "selfie", George decided to both photobomb that "selfie" and then one-up Neal (because that's what he does). So in 1433 George joined the Early Netherlandish master Jan van Eyck in painting "Portrait of Two Men (Selfie?)". The painting is widely regarded as the first ever western panel self portrait, or "selfie".

 

World's Firster Selfie - 3 days of sitting there while van Eyck painted and he never once offered George a cool turban.

3 days of sitting there while van Eyck painted and he never once offered George a cool turban.

Photo by: George

Not to be undone (because that's what he does), Neal went all the way back to 1365 BCE where he managed to get Egyptian pharaoh Akhenaten's chief sculptor Bak to include him in the first ever self portrait. Of course he had to pose as Bak's wife, and of course, George had to photobomb (sulpturebomb?) Neal's accomplishment (because that's what he does).

 

 - Neal hasn't had a figure like that since, well, since that time he jumped out of the cake for that Under Siege movie.

Neal hasn't had a figure like that since, well, since that time he jumped out of the cake for that Under Siege movie.

Photo by: George

After going back further and further, appearing in ancient paintings, sculptures, and cave drawings George and Neal decided they were just being silly. They had a time machine, why not share in the accomplishment of being in the first ever selfie. So they travelled back to 72,443,018 BCE and took a selfie together. And of course they were photobombed by a few dinosaurs (because that's what they do).

 

 - We seriously had no idea those dinosaurs were back there.  Gee, the things you find when you develop your film...

We seriously had no idea those dinosaurs were back there. Gee, the things you find when you develop your film...

Photo by: George

Tags: .1365 BCE(1) .72443018 bce(1) 1433(1) ancient egypt(2) dinosaurs dude!(1) movies(41) selfie(2) time machine(37) time travel(3)
Names Mentioned: Akhenaten(1) bak(1) jan van eyck(1) under siege(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (3)

 
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Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson

Views: 251/5074
Added: 08/08/2016

Unbeknownst to many, and typical for a Hollywood film, 2000s blockbuster hit Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was nowhere near as good as the Broadway musical it was based on, which also starred Tom Hanks and, coincidentally, Neal. Neal played the iconic role of Wilson in the musical, however Tom Hanks got tired of carrying around Neal's severed head and wanted to share the screen with a volleyball for the movie. Neal wasn't too upset though because after his head spending 36 weeks on Broadway his body was starting to get hungry. So George hot-glued Neal's head back on and he had his first meal in months. Ironically, Neal chose coconuts for his first meal.

 

Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson - Neal was just as excited by Hanks' hairy chest and nipples as Hanks was to make fire.

Neal was just as excited by Hanks' hairy chest and nipples as Hanks was to make fire.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2000(7) celebrities(69) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(8) movies(41) relationships(6) scantily clad people(15) success!(13) theater(8) things we made better(4) those look like comfortable shoes(3)
Names Mentioned: Cast Away(1) Tom Hanks(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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You Won't Be Able To Unsee It. Sorry.

Views: 1349/3743
Added: 02/10/2021

George has always had a love of science fiction. Something about the amazing stories with their roots in real science, fantasy, futurism, and history has always fascinated and inspired him. He also finds it funny how many things that the public believes to be "fiction" he knows to be "non-fiction" (or more precisely, "biography" and occasionally "autobiography").

 

You Won't Be Able To Unsee It.  Sorry. - Just one of George and Neal's many adventures that some people might think is science fiction.

Just one of George and Neal's many adventures that some people might think is science fiction.

Photo by: George

Neal has always had a love of tapirs. Something about their long snouts, funny ears, and poor depth perception has always fascinated and inspired him. He also finds it funny... That's it, he just finds tapirs to be pretty funny.

 

 - Isn't he just adorable!  Judging by his teeth, he must not be British.

Isn't he just adorable! Judging by his teeth, he must not be British.

Photo by: George

In late 1979 George and Neal had the rare opportunity to combine these loves. Some young chump (also named George) was working on the sequel to an idea he "borrowed" from George and Neal. His spaghetti western and martial arts fusion movie set in space needed a bounty hunter, or more specifically the bounty hunter needed a space ship. Since he had never been to space, the other George approached George and Neal for more help. George (this George, not the other George) had an amazing idea for a stealth ship that would allow the bounty hunter to approach his targets undetected. Neal wanted a flying tapir. And thus, Boba Fett's SLAVE 1 ship was designed. Fast forward 40ish years and thanks to more movies, animated serieses, and the hit show The Mandelorian, it is now one of the most recognizable flying tapir heads in history!

 

 - George thinks it's a pretty good likeness of Tippy the Tapir.  Neal thinks it's a pretty good likeness of Ron Jeremy, but Neal is wrong.  Wrong on so many levels.  What's wrong with you Neal?!

George thinks it's a pretty good likeness of Tippy the Tapir. Neal thinks it's a pretty good likeness of Ron Jeremy, but Neal is wrong. Wrong on so many levels. What's wrong with you Neal?!

Photo by: George

Tags: 1979(3) animals(17) boba fett(1) clones(13) george(5) movies(41) neal(4) save the aminals(7) science fiction is based on reality(2) tapir(1) the mandelorian(1) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: boba fett(1) george lucas(2) star wars(7) the empire strikes back(1) the mandelorian(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (3)



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