The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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Remember Karate Kid? Well, George and Neal faced off against each other in a similar competition, except it was not Karate, but rather synchronized swimming. George won, and thanks to Neal's speedo, everyone else lost.

 

In 1984, George starred in the movie "Breakin'!" as Master Shabazz. In 1986, Neal, in an effort to follow in his friend's footsteps, starred in the movie "Breakin'! 2: Electric Boogaloo" as Funkmaster Funky Funk McFunkster. The acting skills exhibited by both gentlemen led to critical acclaim in both "Sucka! Magazine" and "What Willis Was Talking About Quarterly". George and Neal (widely known as collectively as "NeOrge") are currently on their fifty-first draft of the script, "Breakin'! 3: Hips a'Poppin!".

 

George and Neal walked completely across the country and back in only three days back in 1986. Everyone was really impressed and George and Neal went on the talk-show circuit, landing interviews with the likes of Geraldo, Oprah, Montel, Carson, Letterman, Walters, Humperdink, Stashinova, and Elmo. A Hallmark Special Movie called "The Heroic Journey to Two Wonderful, Influential, Benevolent Human Beings" was being planned to honor their amazing heroism when, during research for the roles of George and Neal, actors Bruce Willis and Julia Roberts discovered that the country George and Neal walked across was actually Monaco and the only reason it took then three days instead of a few hours was that they stopped at several casinos during their stay. The Hallmark movie is still being planned, but has been re-titled "The Great Cross Country Scam". We're OK with that.

 

George was the prime candidate for the Sharon Stone role in Basic Instinct. When George passed on the role, due only to the fact that taking the role would conflict with his ongoing protest against poodles (don't ask), Sharon Stone got the part.

 

In 2009, while writing an update to this profile, Neal was kidnapped by ninjas. (Though, truth be told, Neal took out 58 of the ninjas with his awesome karate skills. He was overpowered by the remaining 342 ninjas). Thus, George set on his 14 day quest to save Neal, which involved scaling numerous mountains, fighting 3 mountain lions and one kitten (though, he probably didn't have to fight the kitten), and taking on an armada of stealthy warriors. George's mission was a success, and now they are making a mega-blockbuster feature film. Ok, so it's not going to be a mega-blockbuster, but it'll win a few awards. Or maybe it'll just be an independent film released to a limited audience. Or a direct-to-dvd movie. Well, ok, there will just be a made-for-tv movie about it. Well, actually, not a made-for-tv movie. More of a television short. Well, more of a youtube clip. Well, okay, it was that Numa Numa clip. But that was totally symbolic of the struggles, man.

 

In 1988, Bill and Ted went on an excellent adventure. Nothing compared to the exploits of George and Neal, which the movie was based off of. However, like all "based on a true story" movies, certain facts were glossed over or changed. For example, Neal and George learned through their time traveling exploits that Joan of Arc really loved marshmallows, Beethoven was not deaf but rather he just didn't like listening to people, Ghengis Kahn was not a real person but instead was a bear dressed in men's clothing. The movie did accurately portray Napoleon as a jerk though. That guy stole George's iPod. "Jokes on you, little man," George cried angrily, "Where you going to charge it back in your time?" Of course, to Napoleon, all he heard was "Waa Waa Waaa Waa" Charlie Brown style, because he didn't speak English. Also, George didn't say dude. His favorite word? Jaguanst.

 

Numerous TV shows and Movies (and also a few books) have been based on the life and times of George and Neal. Included in these are: Superman, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (as noted above, however not Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, at least not yet), The Game, Indiana Jones (the first three), Goonies, Knight Rider, The A-Team, Welcome Back Kotter, Gone with the Wind, Beavis & Butthead, Altered States, James and the Giant Peach, everything by Neil Gaiman, Get Smart, Gunsmoke, The Muppet Show, Soylent Green, Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Lorax, Casablanca, Animal Farm, Star Trek Deep Space 9, Hamlet, Tales of a Geisha, and plenty more...

 

Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that's just what happened. They made a fortune as a result, but lost it all when multiple lawsuits were filed against George and Neal after they chucked countless pancakes at oncoming traffic. (Wikipedia "the Prolific Pancake Pileup" for more information). A movie, "The Illinois Pancake Massacre", involving a serial killer who used pancakes as his weapon of choice, was only loosely based on the incident.

 

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, nothing happened because Star Wars was just a story made up by George Lucas (although the plot was loosely based on George and Neal's adventures with a similar all-encompassing power called the Farce). However, last week in this galaxy George and Neal were lost and trying to figure out a way to get back to the Milky Way. Their GPS unit was on the fritz and told them they were in the Pegasus galaxy even though they were actually in Stickney, Illinois. It was an understandable mistake.

 

Neal and George's love of board games inspired George W. Bush to create his own line of games. He really wanted to create complex games that require an immense amount of concentration. His games, "Count Your Noses", "Connect the Dot", and "Smells That I Can Produce and Then Identify" are currently in production. 21st Century Fox has optioned the movie rights for all three games. George and Neal are considering filing lawsuits for co-creator rights.

 

In 1983 Neal and George co-wrote a short story that chronicled their adventures from 1964 through 1969. The story was well received in the literary community and we received several offers to turn the story into full length novels. We approved two authors to take our story and develop their own interpretations. Both books (the latter actually a series of four books) became best sellers and eventually were turned into screenplays as well. Band of Brothers was a huge success as an HBO mini-series. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants also became a box-office hit and spawned a sequel movie that actually was more true to actual events than the books.

 

In 1992 George and Neal starred in the blockbuster action hit "Under Siege". George starred as the ex-Navy SEAL turned cook who must protect an aircraft carrier from a group of mercenaries. Neal starred as the helpless stripper that jumped out of a birthday cake at the wrong time.

 

Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Territory". George would bake the cakes and deliver them and Neal would jump out of them. This was a very successful business until August, 1998, when Neal believed he was being sent to a bachelorette party. At the designated time Neal leaped out of the cake and began shaking his stuff while bills got stuffed into his speedo. After about 10 minutes Neal realized that the laughs were slightly deeper than what he would expect from a bachelorette party. Upon wiping the whipped cream from his eyes Neal realized he was actually at Jerry Falwell's 65th birthday party and Mr. Falwell was just about to stuff another $20 into Neal's G-String. Neal shouted and ran, closely followed by a mob of seniors stuffing change down his coin slot, toward the door yelling for George to "Start the van! Start the van!" Neal escaped with a whopping $1,642.63 in those 10 short minutes, not including the roll of quarters he kept stuffed in his banana hammock.

 

In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of this religion involved eating lots of chocolate, sleeping, makin' sweet love down by the fire, and playing video games (the latter being extremely difficult in 1935). Wanting to follow in Neal's footsteps, George created his own religion in 1944, called The First United Orthodox Church of Georgish Science. George amazed his followers by constantly quoting from the Simpsons and the Blues Brothers. Since neither had been created in 1944, his people found George to be the funniest, wittiest man alive.

 

Given the success of the novel (and soon to be movie) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a mashup story combining Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel Pride and Prejudice with elements of modern zombie fiction), Neal and George decided to pen a few of their own novels. George wrote "Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre" a riveting tale about a family with cute adoptive kids who go on murderous sprees (when you hear "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout?" you better RUN!). Neal decided to write the kid-friendly "Cujo vs. Clifford" in which Clifford the Big Red Dog convinces Cujo to go to the vet to get rabies shots. The two joined forces on the lovable undead family comedic drama, "Mummy Dearest". None of the aforementioned books have been optioned as movies, and many literary organizations have banded together to prevent Neal and George from ever writing another word again.

"Word" - Ha, they failed to stop us!

 

Although principles of space-time restrict George and Neal from interacting with their older or younger selves (without proper precautions there is a high risk of imploding the universe - also, doing so causes all baked goods to smell like old cheese for some reason), Neal and George decided, what the hey, let's see what we're like as old men. George fortunately found out that he seemed to have discovered an elixir that caused him to age in reverse a la Benjamin Button. Here is George at age 160:

Neal, on the other hand, immediately suffered a minor heart attack and still suffers from what is likely a form of post traumatic stress disorder upon discovering what he'd look like later in life:

And that's just age 40.

 

In 1991, Neal and George were beaten up by "Marky Mark" Wahlberg and 1 member of his Funky Bunch (specifically, Hector the Bootie Inspector). After knocking Neal and George unconscious, Marky and Hector took their clothes. On the plus side, Neal's tremendous *ahem* character inspired Mark Walhberg's character, Dirk Diggler, in the movie Boogie Nights. George also inspired Mark Wahlberg's character in his forthcoming movie, Little People, because all people look little compared to George.

 

Wanting to attain fame, but hoping to do so with as little effort as humanly possible, George and Neal went back in time to be recast in Hollywood blockbuster movies and shows. First, Neal "borrowed" Barret Oliver's role in The Neverending Story.

Then Neal was cast in our nation's finest show, Gimme a Break! - assuming the role previously cast by Joey Lawrence.

Wanting to get in on the fun, George took Ron Howard's role as Opie Taylor in the Andy Griffith Show.

After Neal appeared in both the 70's movie Star Wars, as well as the show about the 70's, "That 70's Show", Neal retired his acting career/identity theft.

George, however, went on to star in The Brady Bunch, Punky Brewster, The A-Team, Cheers, Three's Company, and All in the Family before moving on to his newest passion, competitive Butter Churning. (The First Rule of Competitive Butter Churning... You Do Not Talk About Butter Churning. The second rule is pretty much the same as the first.)

 

After the success of placing themselves into the roles of classic sitcom characters George and Neal did the same thing with movies. But this time instead of replacing the original stars with themselves they replaced the stars with a collection of sock puppets. Surprisingly these already hit movies fared even better with the sock stars than they did with live actors. Some of our classic films include "Thelma & Louise", "The Shining", "Run Lola Run", "The Invisible Man" (in which we debuted our new color film process - we thought a see through man was a much better case for introducing the world to color movies than that creepy land of Oz), and "The Godfather".

Just for fun, we even re-did the Pauley Shore classic "Son In Law" using the oldest, most rancid, sweat stained, left in the bottom of the bag for decades set of Neal's gym socks that we could find, however we still couldn't get the movie to stink worse than Pauley's original.

 

In 1997, due to George's deep love of Star Wars, as well as his admiration of George Lucas (less as a result of Lucas's accomplishments and more because of Lucas's awesome first name), George asked to be involved in the Star Wars prequels. However, when George read the script to Episode I, he quickly decided he did not want to be involved in the project (or in George's words, "Meesa want nuting to do wit'de feeellllm, Ani!"). Instead, he dumped quantums of money in Lucas' lap, requesting that he be digitally inserted into the "original" trilogy. Caring little about continuity (come on Lucas, Greedo shoots first???), Lucas complied. Happy with the results, George has since contacted Spielberg so that he could be included in JAWS, Orson Welles's Citizen Kane, and replacing Bill Cosby in Leonard: Part 6 (it didn't help).

 

In 2020 George and Neal produced a very special episode of Dateline's "To Catch A Predator". It was a great success and they captured a lion, three grizzly bears, a pair of jaguars, three red-tailed hawks, six rattlesnakes, one mongoose, a vast assortment of spiders, a man-o-war jellyfish, a tyrannosaurus rex, two alligators, a couple of venus flytraps, and one big dude with glow-in-the-dark blood, awesome mandibles, greenish skin, rad dreads, and some pretty cool weapons. We've been asked back to do a follow up special where we'll attempt to catch the elusive Nashville Predators.

 

After "Connect the Dot" the movie broke box office records, George and Neal decided to create a new game upon which to base another movie. The result? Connect One, an instant classic.

 

On September 6, 2010, George and Neal initiated a series of dares, each more shocking than the last. It started innocently enough, when George dared Neal to eat a live worm (not knowing that Neal had done this for free in the past, on a number of occasions). Neal then dared George to go back in time and dress like a woman at a number of milestones in his life.

After George went to numerous weddings, funerals, birthday parties, circumcisions, etc. dressed as a woman, George then dared Neal to not be witty, funny and/or suave for one day. (Neal of course could not do so - his awesomeness is by instinct not design). After trying (and failing) not to be awesome, Neal then dared George to erase Dan Ackroyd's entire existence. George did so with ease and great pleasure. Of course, George had to find someone to fill in the now Ackroyd-less roles...

The dares continued, each more fantastic than the last, which all culminated somehow in Neal thinking he could take on Muhammad Ali in his prime. Six concussions later, he discovered he could not. Neal would have continued the dare contest, but after multiple blows to the skull, he forgot all about the contest and for some reason instead decided to be a divorce attorney. George was satisfied, believing that somehow this meant he won the contest.

 

In 2021, to capitalize on the new, extremely modest trends in fashion, George and Neal made millions off their new video series called "Girls Gone Tame". In exchange for putting on an extra petticoat, George and Neal would provide college girls with a sweater with a tiny "Girls Gone Tame" logo embroidered discreetly on it. Wrrrrrowwww...

 

In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral video, "Two Seamstresses, One Thimble."

 

In the early 2000's, George and Neal were hired by FOX studios to pitch movie ideas. Given their many adventures, you'd think they would have a wealth of ideas for hit movies. As it turns out, they did not. Instead, George and Neal decided to follow the example made by the immensely financially successful "Aliens Versus Predators (AVP)" (e.g. lazily combining two movie properties together rather than coming up with actual cogent ideas). Neal and George started combining movie properties in hopes of creating blockbusters. It worked - they made a fortune producing such memorable hits as "Horton Hears A Gremlin," "That was Then, This is Apocalypse Now!", "The Wizard of Blade Runner", and "Aliens versus Peanuts". Thereafter, they tried to branch out into making other types of movies, but had little success. After creating "The Entirely Ending Story", they called it a day.

 

Throughout the years George and Neal have helped create several famous documentaries, including Gheorghe Marinescu's "The walking troubles of organic hemiplegy" and "The walking troubles of organic paraplegies"; Edward S. Curtis's "In the Land of the Head Hunters"; Robert J. Flaherty's "Nanook of the North"; William Shakespeare's "Hamlet", "A Midsummer Night's Dream", and "Macbeth"; and Michael Moore's "SiCKO"; and James Cameron's "Terminator".

 

In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was initiated by the split with Greyhound Lines (yes, the bus company - he really likes vehicles named after fast, skinny animals) and in anger he decided to boycott Dial soap and protest. Some people suggested he just follow Greyhound Lines, but his fear of Texas prevented him from heading to Dallas. So for 3 months Neal danced outside Dial Corporation's new headquarters in Phoenix, Arizona. While Neal's protest didn't garner any attention from either Dial Corporation or Greyhound Lines, it did inspire the title for Eleanor Bergstein's screenplay (up to then titled "A Corner for Baby"). "Dirty Dancing" became a huge hit, and Neal never received the credit for his inspiration. Surprisingly, George played the role of muse for part of the movie, too. John DeNicola and Franke Previte were inspired to write the song "Hungry Eyes" after meeting George shortly after a short circuit caused the teleportation device to erroneously reconstruct George with extra mouths where his eyes should have been (fortunately his eyes were relocated to his extra tongues, so he could see and scream at the same time).

 

In 2022 Neal was having a mid-life crisis and had decided to head to Vegas to gamble his life savings away. George joined him thinking it would be a great opportunity to film a documentary. George recorded Neal's obsessive gambling (slots, blackjack, roulette, he tried everything to no avail). Eventually, Neal was completely broke (had even sold his shoes, pants and shirt) and had finally resorted to singing parodies of Weird Al songs in the hopes of earning a few cents or a crust of bread. An unusually sympathetic transvestite chorus girl (guy?) decided to give him a break and tossed $5 in his plastic tip cup. He immediately used it to play Keno at the Mirage, and won! And he didn't stop winning until he had earned $1.5 million, plus a new pair of pants! By 2030 Neal was a multi-billionaire and George won an Oscar for their documentary, entitled "Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend".

 

Overwhelmed by the success of the Harry Potter franchise (books, movies, games, cereals, tampons, etc.) and eager to revive the 1970's sitcoms, in 2009 George and Neal created the show, "Welcome Back Potter." It was an instant success, if you measured success by how quickly a show gets removed from a network.

 

Hoping to get in on the "full body motion" video games made popular by the Wii and XBox Kinect, George and Neal invented "Sleep Sleep Revolution." Sales were sluggish, likely because the target demographic was too lazy to venture out to buy a copy.

 

In 3014, feeling melancholy as a result of a worldwide illness that removed the human eye's ability to detect a significant amount of electromagnetic radiation on the visible spectrum (the R and the G were notably absent, leaving only the B - which as an aside contributed to Van Gogh's Blue period after he traveled with Neal and George to -- eh, that's a story for another time), George and Neal decided to brighten up the world's mood by releasing board games based on popular movies. The games were a big hit, as the people of 3014 were very nostalgic towards movies that were made between 1975 and 2012. In retrospect, the games were complete nonsense, with rules from 20+ other games sloppily cobbled together. None of them made any sense. Therefore, Michael Bay Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr's grandson rushed to option the rights to make them into movies.

The popularity of the games reached such great heights that, in thanks and gratitude, others created games based upon the life of George and Neal. The game was so complicated due to the frequent time traveling and history altering events, that it caused 95% of the people attempting to play to lose their sanity. The remaining 5% had little sanity to begin with, so...

 

In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or George watched the 1986 Jeff Goldblum film, The Fly, which illuminated the dangers of teleportation. When the first opportunity arose to use the teleportation device, the men fought over who could use it first. George raised the fact that whoever went first had the potential to be a Neal Armstrong-like figure. Neal raised the fact that Neal Armstrong's first name was Neal, and therefore he should go first. It was sound logic. George refused to accept it, however, and flung himself into the device. Neal did the same. The result was catastrophic (and sexy), in which Neal and George's DNA were combined, creating what at least two people believe to be the smartest man in history. This amalgamation dubbed itself "George Neal." Unfortunately, while the teleportation / recombination was occurring, knobs got fiddled accidentally (that's what she said) and George Neal was flung back into the late 1700's. Though possessing great knowledge and incredible oration skills, George Neal had none of the memories of George or Neal. George Neal believed himself to be the son of a Scottish Highlander who set up permanent residence in South Carolina. For reasons unknown, George Neal chose to stay loyal to the British during the War of Independence. George Neal distinguished himself during the war, even being promoted to Major. He later became an explorer, exploring the north shore of Lake Erie by boat. Ultimately, after leaving America, Major Neal became Canada's first saddlebag preacher for the Methodist church.

Major Neal married, had a daughter Esther, and purchased 200 acres in the Port Rowan Long Point area at Cope's Landing, Ontario. On February 27, 1840, while his granddaughter was reading scripture to him, Major George Neal was hit on the head with an errant pineapple. How the pineapple found its way to Canada remains a mystery. In any event, the noggin clockin' caused the amnesia to disappear and both George and Neal's memories overwhelmed Major Neal.

Missing his/their respective families (and vowing he/they would never tell them about his/their wife, children, grandchildren, and Canadian property ownership), Major Neal faked his/their death the very next day. It was easy back then. He/they just said, "I'm dying" closed his eyes, and held his/their breath. When no one was looking, he/they built a rudimentary time machine out of twigs, berries, and of course, rocks and put it in his/their pocket. After his/their burial, he/they activated the time machine, traveling back to 2029. He/they reverse-engineered their DNA joining (did I mention, ewww?), thereby finally separating George and Neal. There were little long-term physical ramifications, other than Neal smelling like George (egg drop soup) and George smelling like neal (feet, soaked in egg drop soup). Like everything else in this chronology, the events were entirely true. As proof, one need only to visit the Neal Memorial Methodist Church in Port Rowan, Ontario (which was established in September 1912 by George Neal's grandson, Rev. George Neal Hazen, and which still remains to honor "Canada's First Saddlebag Preacher"). One could also read more about these events at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Neal.

 

Exhausted with the mean-spirited nature of recent presidential elections as well as the inability of presidents to follow through on campaign promises, George and Neal decided to run for president in 2016. Problems quickly arose when the two could not agree which one would run as President and which one would be relegated to the position of Vice-President. They decided to let the public decide, by using the time machine to run both a Jaros/Simon campaign AND a Simon/Jaros campaign.

It became very confusing when Neal debated George during the Presidential debate, followed by Neal debating George during the Vice-Presidential debate.

Their seemingly infallible plan to hold the highest office backfired, as exactly 49.5% of the voters cast their ballots for the Jaros/Simon combo, and exactly 49.5% of voters cast their ballots for the Simon/Jaros combo. Due to an obscure law that George and Neal unfortunately passed during their three day reign in 1943, the winner was determined by the remaining 1%, which voted as follows: 15% for Ross Perot, 10% for Harrison Ford (thinking he did a wonderful job in the Air Force One movie), 20% for Peter J. Oberweis (running on a "ice cream shall be mandated a vegetable" platform), 25% for Howard the Duck, and the remaining votes went to the winner and write-in candidate, Ralph Nader. Ironically, Nader declined the position. This explains how, for 4 years, the leader of the free world was almost a duck. (Thank goodness ducks were outlawed in 1776.) This also explains why, in 2018 ice cream was declared a vegetable.

 

Somehow, a tribute video was found in 1035 A.D. Weird... The video is a collection of photos from some of George and Neal's greatest achievements, set to a song that sounds remarkably like Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You". Awwww, how touching... (Eeew, get your hands off!) 1035 A. D.? We KNEW Sarah McLachlan ripped that song off of somebody. Strange, her version sounds almost exactly the same as the one from almost 1000 years ago! And gee, whoever did that song sure misses us. We should probably go back and visit.

 

Darth Vader was not Luke's father. A paternity test by Maury Povich revealed to Vader that "You are NOT the father!". After checking six other potential candidates, including Obi-wan Kenobi, Emperor Palpatine, Bail Organa, Lando Calrissian, Commander Cody (as well as all his Lost Planet Airmen), and even Yoda, it was finally revealed that Luke's father was in fact Mace Windu. I guess Padmé had a little 'dark side' in her, too.

 

In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick tried, but after a few months Patrick decided the mowhawk wasn't an edgy enough hair and it was time to go for a classically timeless skullet. He wore the skullet to great success as Gurney Halleck in 1984's Dune, however in 1987 Neal tried to talk Patrick into turning the skullet into Bozo hair, but he wisely refused and instead decided to go for the full cue ball effect. The glabrescent style became part of his trademark look and helped him land the iconic role of Captain Jean Luc Picard after Robert H. Justman, producer for a revival of a long-cancelled television show, saw Patrick while attending a literary reading at UCLA. The rest is, as they say, "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot."

 

The Wilhelm Scream is pretty well known for being a sound effect used in many, many movies. What is less well known is that George and Neal also provided sound effects that have been used in numerous movies, too. George made the original Jaros Yodel and Neal made the sounds for the Simon Whimper.

 

After Neal claimed to be in the first "selfie", George decided to both photobomb that "selfie" and then one-up Neal (because that's what he does). So in 1433 George joined the Early Netherlandish master Jan van Eyck in painting "Portrait of Two Men (Selfie?)". The painting is widely regarded as the first ever western panel self portrait, or "selfie".

Not to be undone (because that's what he does), Neal went all the way back to 1365 BCE where he managed to get Egyptian pharaoh Akhenaten's chief sculptor Bak to include him in the first ever self portrait. Of course he had to pose as Bak's wife, and of course, George had to photobomb (sulpturebomb?) Neal's accomplishment (because that's what he does).

After going back further and further, appearing in ancient paintings, sculptures, and cave drawings George and Neal decided they were just being silly. They had a time machine, why not share in the accomplishment of being in the first ever selfie. So they travelled back to 72,443,018 BCE and took a selfie together. And of course they were photobombed by a few dinosaurs (because that's what they do).

 

Unbeknownst to many, and typical for a Hollywood film, 2000s blockbuster hit Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was nowhere near as good as the Broadway musical it was based on, which also starred Tom Hanks and, coincidentally, Neal. Neal played the iconic role of Wilson in the musical, however Tom Hanks got tired of carrying around Neal's severed head and wanted to share the screen with a volleyball for the movie. Neal wasn't too upset though because after his head spending 36 weeks on Broadway his body was starting to get hungry. So George hot-glued Neal's head back on and he had his first meal in months. Ironically, Neal chose coconuts for his first meal.

 

George has always had a love of science fiction. Something about the amazing stories with their roots in real science, fantasy, futurism, and history has always fascinated and inspired him. He also finds it funny how many things that the public believes to be "fiction" he knows to be "non-fiction" (or more precisely, "biography" and occasionally "autobiography").

Neal has always had a love of tapirs. Something about their long snouts, funny ears, and poor depth perception has always fascinated and inspired him. He also finds it funny... That's it, he just finds tapirs to be pretty funny.

In late 1979 George and Neal had the rare opportunity to combine these loves. Some young chump (also named George) was working on the sequel to an idea he "borrowed" from George and Neal. His spaghetti western and martial arts fusion movie set in space needed a bounty hunter, or more specifically the bounty hunter needed a space ship. Since he had never been to space, the other George approached George and Neal for more help. George (this George, not the other George) had an amazing idea for a stealth ship that would allow the bounty hunter to approach his targets undetected. Neal wanted a flying tapir. And thus, Boba Fett's SLAVE 1 ship was designed. Fast forward 40ish years and thanks to more movies, animated serieses, and the hit show The Mandelorian, it is now one of the most recognizable flying tapir heads in history!

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