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iKing George

Entry Logged on: April 22, 2009 to Part 2 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Page Views: 453 - Times Displayed: 5022

In 1014, George founded the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia, and became King George I (known affectionately as iKing). Beginning in October of that year iKing George commenced an insane endeavor to name everyone and everything George, or variations thereof.

 

iKing George - Just like the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia.

Just like the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia.

Photo by: Neal

Similar to the show The Smurfs (which was based on the historical Kingdom of Northeast Georgia - Neal was the basis for Gargamel), where everything was "Smurfy", everything in Georgia was "Georgie". (And also similar to the Smurfs, sentences like "Did you George the George on that George, man? Utterly Georgtastic!" were common.) In a complete and utter contradiction to his policies, George named his son "Bagrat" and his daughter "Guarandukht". (You can totally wikipedia that stuff, man. Totally.) In 2010, to honor his friend, Neal guaranteed that his next child would be named either "Bagrat" or "Guarandukht". As an aside, Bagrat is actually George's Great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great Grandfather, which poses all sorts of delicious paradoxes, the likes of which could literally make a quantum physicist's head implode. This paradox is set to be storylines on upcoming episodes of "Lost" and "So You Think You Can Dance".

Tags: 1014(1) 2010(16) discombobulation(4) offspring(13) relationships(6) smurfs(2) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: gargamel(2) lost(2) smurfs(2) so you think you can dance(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: gargamel(2), lost(2), smurfs(2), so you think you can dance(2)

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  • 1014 - (No Other Entries)
  • 2010 - (15 Other Entries)
    • GONADS - In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device t...
    • Infecting 1002 - In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrive...
    • Facemag - Hell on Osteoporosis - In early 2010, in an attempt to attract the age 80+ and technophobe demographics, as well as providing an alternate supply for the Facebook addicts, G...
    • It's Magically Disgusting! - On April 12, 2012, the matching game, Candy Crush, was released on Facebook. Less than one year later, Candy Crush became the most popular game on Fa...
    • It's All Relative - On April 1, 2010, George thought it would be a hilarious prank to go back in time and seduce Neal's great-grandmother. Consequently, George became Nea...
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  • discombobulation - (3 Other Entries)
    • Clint Ain't Wacko! - In August 2012, Clint Eastwood was thought to have embarrassed himself at the Republican National Convention by pretending to argue with an invisible ...
    • Format Wars - George and Neal have enjoyed starting format wars throughout the years. They are responsible for the infamous "Betamax vs VHS vs Video 2000 Conflict",...
    • Lavender, Lavender Everywhere - In 2013, Neal and George totally negated existence as a result of a time paradox created by the two. In 2015, Neal and George totally fixed the proble...
  • offspring - (12 Other Entries)
    • Zoo Trip Time Machine - In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done t...
    • El Niño and La Niña - On a trip to northwestern Peru in 1923 George and Neal both befriended and eventually married the Lopez sisters. The sisters gave birth to two childre...
    • International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
    • Welcome aboard Sam! - In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make ...
    • Metric Woes - Unable to persuade America to convert to the Metric system, in 2087 George and Neal successfully convinced America to abandon their current measuring ...
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  • relationships - (5 Other Entries)
    • From the generic - From the generic "How Do You Know" fields:Lived together?You lived in Sin in 1998.You lived in a van down by the river (but we swear nothing steamy ha...
    • Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson - Unbeknownst to many, and typical for a Hollywood film, 2000s blockbuster hit Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was nowhere near as good as the Broadway m...
    • On Online Dating - After the success of online dating websites such as "Eharmony" and "J-Date" (a social/dating website for Jewish people), George and Neal created their...
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  • smurfs - (1 Other Entry)
    • The Damnation that was Smurfs - In 2099 scientists astounded the world by developing genetically engineered little blue creatures that wore nothing but white pants and hats. OK, so ...
  • tv shows - (47 Other Entries)
    • Fear Factor Delicacies - In 1998, George convinced Neal to go on Fear Factor, where Neal went on to eat 50 scorpions, 12 worms, and over a hundred bull testicles. Neal later l...
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
    • The Twelve Step Approach - In 2010 George insisted Neal seek therapy to break his addiction to board games. Neal entered the program but came out six weeks later with a great id...
    • Like a Boss - Tired of all the speculation, George went back to 1984 and showed the world who was the boss. It was George.
    • Get To Da Choppa! - In 2020 George and Neal produced a very special episode of Dateline's "To Catch A Predator". It was a great success and they captured a lion, three gr...
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View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • The Prolific Pancake Pileup - Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that...
  • Oh God I Shot Momma - In 1949, George starred in the off-Broadway (well, off-off Broadway) play "Oh God I Shot Momma" as the corpse. On a completely different note, that sa...
  • Vatican Idol and Spin-offs - In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singi...
  • George's Ghastly Spell and the Toothless Fairy - For four years (1995 - 1999) George filled in for the Boogie Man while he was on sabbatical. Those exceptionally productive years are affectionately k...
  • Kidnapped by Ninjas - In 2009, while writing an update to this profile, Neal was kidnapped by ninjas. (Though, truth be told, Neal took out 58 of the ninjas with his awesom...


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