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Darwin Loves Us!

Views: 225/4550
Added: 03/13/2009

In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection theory. Confusingly, the Vatican has suppressed this information for generations.

 

Darwin Loves Us! - He couldn't have been that mad; he gave us a signed copy!

He couldn't have been that mad; he gave us a signed copy!

Photo by: Neal

Tags: .10000 bce(1) ancient wonders(9) body parts(14) christian(8) evolution(5) inventions(48) people of history(33) prehistoric(6)
Names Mentioned: charles darwin(1) vatican(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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The Opposable Nose: The Origin

Views: 311/5136
Added: 03/13/2009

In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. However, there is a tribe of people in the central forests of Simushir, known as the Norge, which embraced the opposable nose. Their culture is very interesting and celebrates the gift of the opposable nose bestowed upon them by their ancient deities Egroeg and Laen, two powerful beings that visited their people with magical devices and funny haircuts.

 

The Opposable Nose: The Origin - Egroeg, preparing to bestow the wonderful gift of the opposable nose.

Egroeg, preparing to bestow the wonderful gift of the opposable nose.

Photo by: George & Neal Collaboration - Caption by: Neal

Tags: .9996 bce(1) ancient wonders(9) body parts(14) george's fashion sense(12) hair(11) inventions(48) nicknames(14) origin(24) prehistoric(6)
Names Mentioned: simushir(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George & Neal Collaboration (1)

 
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Vacationing in 165,003 B.C.

Views: 150/3103
Added: 03/14/2009

In 165,003 BCE George and Neal visited Macronesia, a large continent in the now Pacific Ocean (not to be confused with Macaronesia in the Atlantic). Unfortunately, while there we were careless and broke it into lots of smaller pieces. It is now known as Micronesia. Fortunately Macronesia was unpopulated at the time so no one is the wiser.

 

Vacationing in 165,003 B.C. - A map of Macronesia and the route George and Neal took on their visit, prior to breaking it into Micronesia...

A map of Macronesia and the route George and Neal took on their visit, prior to breaking it into Micronesia...

Photo by: George

Tags: .165003 bce(1) journey(6) oops(16) prehistoric(6)
Names Mentioned: atlantic ocean(2) macaronesia(1) micronesia(1) pacific ocean(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Feats of Strength!™

Views: 195/5276
Added: 03/29/2009

In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using his secret muscle enhancing device created, conveniently enough, by Neal and George years earlier, which was actually 1983 thanks to the time machine - don't think too hard about this, it might hurt your head). Not to be outdone, Neal lifted a cow and a boulder (he did not use the muscle enhancer; he's just that awesome). In disgust, George threw a boulder at Neal's head. Neal retaliated by throwing a series of rocks at George. This went back and forth for hours. After Neal and George called a truce - and after the townsfolk ran off in fear of being clocked in the noggin by a large rock - they rested on the piles of rocks they created, now called Stonehenge. Yeah, it happened just like that.

Tags: .2000 bce(1) 1983(6) amazing abilities(16) ancient wonders(9) body parts(14) britain(9) competition(10) prehistoric(6) sports(23) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) stonehenge(1) wiltshire(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer

Views: 761/5101
Added: 04/08/2009

680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmindedly left their Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer system behind when we were packing up to return home. Unfortunately he also left the lid open, causing a drastic decrease in the Earth's temperature. Earth slowly cooled to the point that it was entirely frozen. For over 30 Million years Earth was covered in a thick glacial layer of ice and snow, a period some scientists refer to as Snowball Earth. This frozen period in Earth's prehistory caused the delay of the development of multicellular life forms by 33,456,721 years, 6 months and 4 days (give or take a few weeks). So what is now 2009 AD should actually be the year 33,458,730 AD and human kind should have already evolved beyond the need for physical bodies, in fact far beyond what humans are even capable of fathoming. We can thank Neal for millions of years of setback.

 

Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - If Neal would have only remembered to shut the darn lid... We could be surfing the cosmos as pure energy right now instead of puttering about on this archaic thing we call the internet.

If Neal would have only remembered to shut the darn lid... We could be surfing the cosmos as pure energy right now instead of puttering about on this archaic thing we call the internet.

Photo by: George

Tags: .680000000 bce(1) 2009(21) 33458730(1) evolution(5) oops(16) prehistoric(6) science(28) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: taylor wharton(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Lavender, Lavender Everywhere

Views: 206/3272
Added: 04/17/2009

In 2013, Neal and George totally negated existence as a result of a time paradox created by the two. In 2015, Neal and George totally fixed the problem. But... how could that possibly have happened, if they negated existence? My head hurts. Oh, also, Neal squished a bug back in prehistoric times, which had little effect on human evolution, except that we no longer have the ability to fly. Whoops.

 

Lavender, Lavender Everywhere - Taken in 2014, right in the middle of the period when existence was negated. Yup, the absence of everything is lavender colored.

Taken in 2014, right in the middle of the period when existence was negated. Yup, the absence of everything is lavender colored.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2013(7) 2015(9) discombobulation(4) oops(16) prehistoric(6)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)



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