The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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'1998' Tagged Entries

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9 Tagged Entries  

From the generic "How Do You Know" fields:

Lived together?
You lived in Sin in 1998.
You lived in a van down by the river (but we swear nothing steamy happened) from 2004 to 2009.
You lived in inside the underbelly of a Tauntaun - more romantic than it sounds! from 1983 to 1984.

Worked together?
You worked at Wells and Wacker. Lower Wacker. That's a lot of Wacking. from 1981 to 1987.
You worked as Roadies (and, sadly, groupies) for the Lichtensteinian Goth Country band Doublewide Despair from 2001 to 2002.
You worked at C&C Roadside Carnival and Freak Show / Supermarket from 1995 to 1997.

From an organization, team or group?
You were members of Sumatran League of Confused Warlords in 1984.
You were members of Organizers of ThimbleCon 2008 - man, we love thimbles! from 1982 to 1997.
You were members of International Association of Rhubarb Farmers (who are diametrically opposed to those nasty Beet Farmers! [But not opposed to the Beat Farmers curiously enough]) from 1979 to 1984.

Went to school together?
You went to preschool with Neal.

Traveled together?
You traveled to sun bathing and swimming in Greenland for the bicentennial celebration of the Wooly Horse Festival in the winter of 2003.
You traveled to Panama for the annual Panama Canal Sled Dog/Doggy Paddle 500 biathlon in the summer of 2003.
You traveled to Djibuti, Qatar, Suriname, Guinea-Bissau, Moldova, Atlantis, Asgard, Metropolis, Kyrgyzstan... well, really, where DIDN'T we go? in the summer of 1980.

In my family?
George is Neal's father.

Through a friend?
You know Neal through Nicholas Exner (UIllinois).

Dated?
Yes, but not each other.

Other:
You met in 1981:

 

In 1998 George and Neal partied like it was 1999. In 1999 George and Neal didn't party.

 

In 1998, George convinced Neal to go on Fear Factor, where Neal went on to eat 50 scorpions, 12 worms, and over a hundred bull testicles. Neal later learned in fact that George had merely played a practical joke and he was never on Fear Factor. Neal would have swore revenge, except that he realized he really liked eating bull testicles so he wasn't all that angry.

 

In 1998, George decided to traumatize Neal by forcing him to watch Peter Jackson's lesser known muppets-on-drugs movie, Meet the Feebles. Neal has been sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth ever since. On the plus side, George realized he could use Neal's constant rocking as an alternate source of energy. Now the nation's reliance on oil has abated. Its reliance on "Neal Power", however, has grown exponentially. George has become the nation's largest supplier of "Neal Power", although not everyone rocking back and forth after watching Meet the Feebles is named Neal. The cost of producing "Neal Power" generators was drastically reduced in 2000 when George invested in purchasing a copy of the movie on VHS for $14.95 instead of having to rent the video for $3.00 every time he wanted to build more power generators. Since 2000 George has converted numerous poor souls to "Neal Power" generators, including his poor wife (sorry honey!). To the Spice Girls dismay, the nation still has no interest in fueling things using sassy "Girl Power". The Power Rangers have no opinion on this.

 

Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Territory". George would bake the cakes and deliver them and Neal would jump out of them. This was a very successful business until August, 1998, when Neal believed he was being sent to a bachelorette party. At the designated time Neal leaped out of the cake and began shaking his stuff while bills got stuffed into his speedo. After about 10 minutes Neal realized that the laughs were slightly deeper than what he would expect from a bachelorette party. Upon wiping the whipped cream from his eyes Neal realized he was actually at Jerry Falwell's 65th birthday party and Mr. Falwell was just about to stuff another $20 into Neal's G-String. Neal shouted and ran, closely followed by a mob of seniors stuffing change down his coin slot, toward the door yelling for George to "Start the van! Start the van!" Neal escaped with a whopping $1,642.63 in those 10 short minutes, not including the roll of quarters he kept stuffed in his banana hammock.

 

In 1998, Neal became overwhelmingly frustrated when he tried to crack the mysteries of the complex literary tome, "Where's Waldo?" After a near-breakdown, George decided to help his friend, as well as the public at large, by publishing "There's Waldo, Right Freakin' There". It became an overnight sensation, quickly selling out multiple editions and translated into 58 languages (Though, other than the title, there wasn't much to translate). George and Neal are set to publish their next traumatic/educational book, "Where in the Morgue is Carmen Sandiego?"

 

During their chronal adventures, Neal and George discovered a deep, dark secret of the music industry. Apparently for years the Johnson & Johnson company has been clandestinely influencing some of Rock & Roll's greatest artists. George and Neal weren't so shocked as Johnson & Johnson's sponsorship and promotion of the arts as much as we were at the fact that these incredible shows of support have been kept secret from the multitudes. Among the shocking discoveries are:

• J&J's Baby Shampoo sponsored Ozzy's No More Tears tour.
  
  
   

  
  
  
  Ironically, Ozzy cried himself to sleep every night of this tour.



• J&J's Baby Powder inspired Clapton's Cocaine.


• J&J's Band-Aid was the corporate sponsor for Farm-Aid.


• In 2010 J&J's Listerine promoted a one-night-only concert for Baltimora, which consisted only of an extended version of "Tarzan Boy".


• In 2014 Steven Tyler of Aerosmith will legally change his name to Steven Tylernol after an endorsement deal with J&J's Tylenol brand.


• J&J Dental Floss receives royalties every time Sisqo's "Thong Song" is played.


• Chris DeBurgh's hit "Lady in Red" was written one night after his girlfriend sent him out to buy J&J Maxi Pads.


• Pink Floyd's remastered "Dark Side of the Moon" 1998 25th anniversary album art actually featured an image of J&J Acuvue contact lenses instead of a prism.
  
  
   

  
  
  This alternative cover was not was not approved by George Hardie, however Guido 'Knuckles' Johnson and Vinnie 'I Breaka You Face' Johnson were very convincing.



• J&J's Neutrogena covertly founded Lollapalooza, H.O.R.D.E. Fest, Lilith Fair, Woodstock, and other concert festivals to attract young, acne-prone teens.


• The hats that Devo wore in their video for "Whip It" were actually spray painted rolls of J&J's Duct Tape.

And we're positive that we've only scratched the surface of Johnson & Johnson's mysterious involvement in the history of Rock & Roll.

 

In 1998 George let the dogs out, but he let them back in as soon as they were finished doing their duty. Anslem Douglas didn't believe him though and kept giving him the third degree. He even got the Baha Men to start pestering George. C'mon guys, stop the nagging!

 

In 1988 Neal's infatuation with John Cusack reached an all-time high. John was generally pretty cool with it, but during the filming of Say Anything Neal went just a little too far (apparently hiding in the back seat of John's 1976 Blue Chevy Malibu and screaming "I LOVED YOU IN BEING JOHN MALKOVICH!" was the final straw - on a side note, Neal's constant mention of that film is what made John decide to take the roll of Craig Schwartz 10 years later). Cusack ended up body slamming Neal just minutes before filming the iconic radio scene. If you look closely in that scene you can see Neal's foot twitching in the bottom right corner of the frame.

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