The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


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Synchronized Swimming

Views: 167/4218
Added: 02/13/2009

Remember Karate Kid? Well, George and Neal faced off against each other in a similar competition, except it was not Karate, but rather synchronized swimming. George won, and thanks to Neal's speedo, everyone else lost.

 

Synchronized Swimming - This cannot end well.

This cannot end well.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: competition(10) movies(40) neal's fashion sense(20) scantily clad people(15) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: karate kid(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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We the Bad-Ass Americans

Views: 194/4238
Added: 02/15/2009

George and Neal went on a vacation/bender in 1776 (again with the time machine). Luckily, though wackiness ensued, nothing was altered in our time-line, except that now the Declaration of Independence says, "We the Bad-Ass Americans", and where the signatures are, George drew a picture of a scantily clad woman, giving new meaning to the phrase "Give me your John Hancock". Though, in those times, a scantily clad woman meant drawing a woman wearing more clothes than the typical 2009 woman would wear, so it was all good. Also, ducks were outlawed, for some reason.

 

We the Bad-Ass Americans - Screw you, ducks!

Screw you, ducks!

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1776(2) ducks(3) government(16) historic events(18) laws(10) scantily clad people(15) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: declaration of independence(1) john hancock(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Zardoz

Views: 173/7956
Added: 02/17/2009

When George and Neal were told they could do costume designing for Sean Connery, they jumped at the opportunity. Not because they liked Sean Connery - but rather they were intent on taking their revenge after Sean stole their "Rock Smoothies" idea (luckily, all that did was bust up his teeth and make the Yugoslavian sound like a Scottish man). Anyway, in an effort to exact revenge, George and Neal designed Sean's costume for his 1974 epic, Zardoz. The costume looked like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Zardoz_zed.jpg Job well done, boys!

 

Zardoz - Sweet Revenge.

Sweet Revenge.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1974(6) celebrities(69) revenge(6) scantily clad people(15) smoothies(7) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: scotland(3) sean connery(1) yugoslavia(1) zardoz(8)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Worst... Enya... Ever...

Views: 229/6122
Added: 03/20/2009

George was the fifth Beatle. However, due to a problem with the time machine, he had to forsake this role, give up fame and fortune and return to his present time. George tells everyone he meets this fact. In 2000, Neal was the sixth Backstreet Boy. Neal tells no one this fact. However, Neal is quite proud of the short time that he posed as Enya while in witness protection. Despite poor reviews ("Worst... Enya... Ever..."), his concerts were quite popular; though this might have something to do with "Enya's" new mandate requiring copious amounts of backup-singer nudity.

Tags: 2000(7) beatles(3) celebrities(69) music(26) neal's fashion sense(20) scantily clad people(15)
Names Mentioned: backstreet boys(1) beatles(4) enya(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party

Views: 171/10271
Added: 04/04/2009

Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Territory". George would bake the cakes and deliver them and Neal would jump out of them. This was a very successful business until August, 1998, when Neal believed he was being sent to a bachelorette party. At the designated time Neal leaped out of the cake and began shaking his stuff while bills got stuffed into his speedo. After about 10 minutes Neal realized that the laughs were slightly deeper than what he would expect from a bachelorette party. Upon wiping the whipped cream from his eyes Neal realized he was actually at Jerry Falwell's 65th birthday party and Mr. Falwell was just about to stuff another $20 into Neal's G-String. Neal shouted and ran, closely followed by a mob of seniors stuffing change down his coin slot, toward the door yelling for George to "Start the van! Start the van!" Neal escaped with a whopping $1,642.63 in those 10 short minutes, not including the roll of quarters he kept stuffed in his banana hammock.

 

Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Taken just seconds before Neal took off running, much to Jerry and Pat's disappointment.

Taken just seconds before Neal took off running, much to Jerry and Pat's disappointment.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1992(2) 1998(9) business ventures(44) celebrities(69) christian(8) food(45) movies(40) neal's fashion sense(20) phallus(8) religion(11) scantily clad people(15) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: jerry falwell(2) pat robertson(1) under siege(3) under siege 2: dark territory(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)...

Views: 195/8006
Added: 04/14/2009

George was originally cast in the lead role as Michael Knight for the 1980's TV series Knight Rider, however due to conflicting interests (George was in the process of developing an actual artificial intelligence for a car, as well as a "human-like orifice" - what was that about, George?) he had to refuse the role. Neal was also approached to play a role in the TV series, but he didn't pass the audition process. The producers said he used too much emotion in his portrayal of a talking car. They also thought the voice over part for the car should be played by someone wearing more than platform shoes and a cape. Neal refused to compromise on his artistic interpretation of the part. Neal's love of the platform shoe and cape was the inspiration for Sesame Street's "The Count" - not Dracula, as most people believe was the basis for the character.

 

Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)... - Above: what could have been.... But for the conflict of interest, George would have taken the role of Michael Knight, and would have went on to star in Baywatch, and sung arguably acceptable quality rock songs as the Berlin Wall came down. Hasselhoff, on the other hand, would have gone on to star in hundreds of adult films, including "Degradation She Wrote", "Smoke the Bandit", and "Not So Different Strokes". The jury is still out as to which would have been a better reality.

Above: what could have been.... But for the conflict of interest, George would have taken the role of Michael Knight, and would have went on to star in Baywatch, and sung arguably acceptable quality rock songs as the Berlin Wall came down. Hasselhoff, on the other hand, would have gone on to star in hundreds of adult films, including "Degradation She Wrote", "Smoke the Bandit", and "Not So Different Strokes". The jury is still out as to which would have been a better reality.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1980s(7) art is art(10) celebrities(69) inspirations(19) knight rider(2) neal's fashion sense(20) scantily clad people(15) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: baywatch(1) berlin(1) david hasselhoff(2) dracula(2) knight rider(2) sesame street(4)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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We'd Need a Thneed Indeed!

Views: 180/6120
Added: 05/16/2009

In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industry to Dr. Seuss who wrote the story "The Lorax". Fortunately the story was an exaggeration of what could happen, but we were much more responsible with our manufacturing process, using only cutting edge sustainable technology, including using biofuels, 99% recycling efforts, solar cells and solar collectors to generate heat and electricity, reforestation projects, and more. Our patented Thneed Manufacturing Process was so low impact that most people don't even know it existed. And I guess that was our downfall. No one bought our Thneeds. In 2008 George brought suit against Fosdick Corporation, the company which markets the Snuggie, a blatant rip-off of the Thneed. Neal also filed suit against Fosdick Corporation, but because they are using the trademarked name he uses for his line of underwear (which he exclusively models). Neal's Fosdick Tighty Whiteys sell worse than the Thneeds...

Tags: 1965(1) 1971(1) 2008(6) business ventures(44) inventions(48) lawsuits(13) neal's fashion sense(20) scantily clad people(15)
Names Mentioned: dr. seuss(2) fosdick corporation(1) snuggie(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Saturday Night George

Views: 148/4524
Added: 06/02/2009

In 1993 George and Neal used the Time Machine in conjunction with the Teleportation Device and wound up in an alternate reality where families sit around and do nothing but watch us on TV. Apparently in this alternate reality we are absolutely fascinating. We think it was mostly because TV was in color while real-life was just black & white.

 

Saturday Night George - Families are glued to their TV sets watching George try to dance.

Families are glued to their TV sets watching George try to dance.

Photo by: George

 

Includes Neal-in-Neal! - Neal's ugly mug helps sell the latest in TV technology...

Neal's ugly mug helps sell the latest in TV technology...

Photo by: George

 

George's Knobs - Notice how she likes fiddling with George's knobs? Neal is sooo jealous.

Notice how she likes fiddling with George's knobs? Neal is sooo jealous.

Photo by: George

Tags: scantily clad people(15) teleportation(10) time machine(37) tv shows(48)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (3)

 
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The George and Neal Newsnetwork

Views: 115/6248
Added: 08/20/2009

In 2040, Neal and George created a television news program devoted solely to chronicling their (mis)adventures, called the George and Neal Newsnetwork (or "GNN"). GNN hit an all-time high Nielsen rating during Neal's cooking show with Martha Stewart (see above). The ratings peak? - 4 viewers. Thanks to George and Neal's moms! (The lowest ratings valley? The week-long "All Nude Review", where viewership dipped by 4.)

 

The George and Neal Newsnetwork - For all of your news and adult entertainment needs.

For all of your news and adult entertainment needs.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2040(4) celebrities(69) failures(22) scantily clad people(15) tv shows(48) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: cnn(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Girls Gone Tame

Views: 155/3780
Added: 09/02/2009

In 2021, to capitalize on the new, extremely modest trends in fashion, George and Neal made millions off their new video series called "Girls Gone Tame". In exchange for putting on an extra petticoat, George and Neal would provide college girls with a sweater with a tiny "Girls Gone Tame" logo embroidered discreetly on it. Wrrrrrowwww...

 

Girls Gone Tame - You should hear about all the stuff they weren't willing to do...

You should hear about all the stuff they weren't willing to do...

Photo by: George

Tags: 2021(3) movies(40) scantily clad people(15) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: girls gone wild(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Measure Your Spaghetti

Views: 231/4571
Added: 09/06/2009

In 2018 George and Neal were invited to appear before the entire US Government to talk about their accomplishments. The talk started out normal enough, but about 10 minutes into it we had actually hypnotized the entire House and Senate, as well as the President, Vice President, the president's Cabinet, Joint Chiefs of Staff, as well as numerous aides, interns, the press, secret service, foreign dignitaries, and several bystanders. During this short time we made them pass all sorts of humorous laws. For example, Title 214, Section 1212 of the Code of Federal Regulations says it is illegal to eat spaghetti longer than 26 1/2 inches in length on days that start with T, unless the weather is partially cloudy with at least a 30% chance of precipitation, in which case if spaghetti is eaten it must be at least 26 1/2 inches in length and must be slurped, not twisted on a fork. We also had everyone pose for a group photo.

 

Measure Your Spaghetti - Getting everyone to pose for this picture was surprisingly easier than you would think. In fact most of them were already snapping out of the hypnotic state by the time this picture was snapped.

Getting everyone to pose for this picture was surprisingly easier than you would think. In fact most of them were already snapping out of the hypnotic state by the time this picture was snapped.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2018(4) art is art(10) food(45) government(16) laws(10) scantily clad people(15)
Names Mentioned: america(8) spencer tunick(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Two Seamstresses, One Thimble

Views: 379/4164
Added: 11/19/2009

In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral video, "Two Seamstresses, One Thimble."

Tags: 1878(1) movies(40) people of history(33) scantily clad people(15) thimbles(2) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: eadweard muybridge(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend

Views: 189/7216
Added: 08/26/2012

In 2022 Neal was having a mid-life crisis and had decided to head to Vegas to gamble his life savings away. George joined him thinking it would be a great opportunity to film a documentary. George recorded Neal's obsessive gambling (slots, blackjack, roulette, he tried everything to no avail). Eventually, Neal was completely broke (had even sold his shoes, pants and shirt) and had finally resorted to singing parodies of Weird Al songs in the hopes of earning a few cents or a crust of bread. An unusually sympathetic transvestite chorus girl (guy?) decided to give him a break and tossed $5 in his plastic tip cup. He immediately used it to play Keno at the Mirage, and won! And he didn't stop winning until he had earned $1.5 million, plus a new pair of pants! By 2030 Neal was a multi-billionaire and George won an Oscar for their documentary, entitled "Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend".

 

Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend - It is suspected that this movie's Academy Award wasn't the result of the heartwarming, incredible story of Neal's Keno winnings, but rather the fact that George narrated the whole thing while breathing massive quantities of helium. Also the narration had nothing to do with the movie, but was just George reading from The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

It is suspected that this movie's Academy Award wasn't the result of the heartwarming, incredible story of Neal's Keno winnings, but rather the fact that George narrated the whole thing while breathing massive quantities of helium. Also the narration had nothing to do with the movie, but was just George reading from The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2022(4) 2030(3) celebrities(69) games(15) movies(40) music(26) scantily clad people(15) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: academy awards(2) las vegas(1) mirage hotel and casino(1) weird al yankovic(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson

Views: 106/2261
Added: 08/08/2016

Unbeknownst to many, and typical for a Hollywood film, 2000s blockbuster hit Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was nowhere near as good as the Broadway musical it was based on, which also starred Tom Hanks and, coincidentally, Neal. Neal played the iconic role of Wilson in the musical, however Tom Hanks got tired of carrying around Neal's severed head and wanted to share the screen with a volleyball for the movie. Neal wasn't too upset though because after his head spending 36 weeks on Broadway his body was starting to get hungry. So George hot-glued Neal's head back on and he had his first meal in months. Ironically, Neal chose coconuts for his first meal.

 

Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson - Neal was just as excited by Hanks' hairy chest and nipples as Hanks was to make fire.

Neal was just as excited by Hanks' hairy chest and nipples as Hanks was to make fire.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2000(7) celebrities(69) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) movies(40) relationships(6) scantily clad people(15) success!(13) theater(8) things we made better(4) those look like comfortable shoes(3)
Names Mentioned: Cast Away(1) Tom Hanks(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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There is No Zero!

Views: 137/4793
Added: 09/21/2016

In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has been stricken from historical records.

Tags: 0(1) 1966(2) ancient wonders(9) annoying fads(2) australia(2) clem(3) collapse of civilization(3) costumes(4) creamed corn(2) extinction(4) food poisoning(3) foot odor(3) forget this ever happened(9) genetics(16) george funk(11) good vibrations(2) great music(4) groin kick(3) historic events(18) History(13) hollandaise sauce(2) israeli food(2) jaguanst(8) kicking ass(16) lasagna(2) lawsuits(13) lotion(2) neal funk(18) oops(16) party like its 1999(2) people of history(33) phallus(8) platypus(4) pleasurebot(3) poop(7) power tools(2) pudding(2) reasons julie weeps(2) revenge(6) rhubarb(4) scantily clad people(15) stinky feet(3) strange disappearances(2) things george eats(3) things neal eats(9) things we made better(4) time paradoxes are fun(4) time travel(3) turtles & tortoises(3) vajazzled(3) wives(15) xxx(11) zoos and farm animals(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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