In 2016, the phone app Pokemon:GO! was extremely popular. Kids, adults, and chimpanzees capable of stealing iPhones were all playing this highly addictive game, involving searching real-world locations to "capture" Pokemon characters.
What people don't know, however, was that Pokemon:GO! was actually an almost identical copy of an earlier game, Jarosmon:PROCEED!. George created it as a fun game for fans to search for George and Neal throughout their time traveling adventures (as well as their multiverse traveling adventures, but we'll get to that later). The app led people from place to place and time to time, in order to find George or Neal. At first, it was really, really fun, and the boys welcomed those players successful enough to locate them.
Why George donned weird outfits and made "rawr rawr" kitten noises as players walked by... no one quite figured that one out.
Photo by: Neal
However, over time the game became considerably frustrating for George and Neal. Thousands and thousands of players would essentially stalk George and Neal at their workplaces, favorite hangouts, homes, and… well…. let's just say no place was sacred.
Yep, there's nothing sacred about this. (Also, you can't unsee things like this. That is why the internet must be stopped.)
Photo by: Neal
Exhausted from evading their many pursuers, George and Neal agreed to go back in time and stop themselves from ever inventing Jarosmon:PROCEED!, negating its existence in Clem-like proportions.
How Pokemon:GO! came into existence afterwards remains a mystery, although George and Neal suspect the piles and piles of money that George's son, Sam inexplicably acquired only shortly thereafter is somehow related.
In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has been stricken from historical records.
In 2121 Neal was stranded in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a desert island. However, Neal couldn't spell and thought he was on a dessert island. He spent the next year and a half eating nothing but sand, bark, and the occasional wandering crab, which he thought were cake crumbs, chocolate, and gummy crabs respectively. Somehow he survived, however this really did a number on his teeth, inspiring him to write the hit song "Teeth are for Wussies, so Give Edentulous a Chance". Ironically, George was also stranded in the middle of the ocean during the exact same time frame, but he was actually on a dessert island. He survived the 18 months on a diet of whipped cream, lollipops, and chocolate chip cookies. This inspired George to create the recipe for his tooth-whitening toothpaste. Also, ironically, George and Neal's islands were within swimming distance of each other, however Neal was too afraid of the salt in the ocean to swim over. (Well, according to George. According to Neal it was because George kept him away by brandishing licorice whips, but who are you gonna believe?) When George and Neal finally were rescued by some guy named Clem, they returned to the 1980's and put their latest creations to
Although it was in tropical latitudes, it's a good thing George had his winter gear. All that ice cream made the air pretty chilly. Yummy, but chilly.
Photo by: George
The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.
So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).
Or, just click on one of the ads on our site. We'll get a few pennies, and there's no obligation for you, guaranteed or your money back!
Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.