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Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh....

Views: 196/7330
Added: 09/06/2009

In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have been cloned many times over as George and Neal can't seem to get enough of them), George and Neal gathered the best and brightest scientific minds (read: just the two of them - oh, and they also included Stephen Hawking, not because he's as smart as Neal and George (he's not), but rather because they liked hearing Hawking's melodious robotic voice). The goal: discover a way to eliminate the need to potty train children. Two hours later, the solution was discovered. George and Neal combined the awesome, near-supernatural powers of duct tape and children's pottys, and revealed their newest invention, the "Toilet Tush Taper" (aka "Poop Cubed") to the world. (((Patent (and significantly better name) pending.))) This invention did not sell well, though, after someone realized that the "invention" of taping a toilet to a child's touchas was really the same thing as a diaper. A much heavier, messier, terrible diaper. Red Green was impressed at the ingenious use of duct tape though.

Tags: 2036(2) celebrities(69) failures(22) inventions(48) offspring(13) poop(7) science(28) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: red green(1) stephen hawking(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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...and over and over and over...

Views: 189/4821
Added: 09/01/2012

In 2036 George and Neal started one of the most aggressive research studies into ESP and telepathy (prophecy wasn't included since we already had our time machine and didn't need to know the future). The study was proceeding very well, with huge leaps of knowledge about how to read other peoples' minds, until March 15, 2037. Two days previously subject 1337 shouted "Beware the Ides of March". But since we weren't studying prophecy, and didn't see any inherent danger in the song "Vehicle", we ignored him. Unfortunately that was a mistake because on Sunday, March 15, 2037 we began Operation Baffle, in which we paired up our telepathic test subjects and asked them to read each other's minds. We failed to anticipate the feedback loop that would be caused as each telepath read the mind of another telepath that was reading the mind of the initial telepath again. The result was a complete meltdown in the research facility as alpha brainwaves were mutated into destructive tau patterns (dubbed taunamis). Every telepath entered a catatonic state, except for one, who described the mind boggling effect to be like looking in a mirror with another mirror behind you. The same thought patterns were repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over... We've since decided to stop messing around with the laws of metaphysics. Physics is still fair game though.

Tags: 2036(2) 2037(1) music(26) oops(16) science(28)
Names Mentioned: ides of march(1)
Entry Logged By: George



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