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Cold Fusion

Views: 225/5439
Added: 02/13/2009

In 2035 George and Neal (using their time machine again) discovered the secret to producing Cold Fusion power. Unfortunately at the time they didn't realize the implications of their discovery since they were only trying to develop a more efficient way to dispose of dog waste. It wasn't until 2115 that technology caught up to their misguided genius.

Tags: 2035(2) 2115(2) business ventures(46) energy(6) inventions(48) poop(7) time machine(37)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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PDD Reactor

Views: 149/2624
Added: 04/10/2009

In 2068 George and Neal invented the PDD Reactor, a source of nearly endless energy. It converts Poopy Disposable Diapers into highly efficient energy. Unfortunately, when they invented the PDD Reactor there was no such thing as disposable diapers. So Neal and George went back to 1950 to invent the disposable diaper. By the time 2068 rolled around there was enough fuel stockpiled to run the PDD Reactor indefinitely.

Tags: 1950(3) 2068(3) energy(6) inventions(48) poop(7)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Everybody Poops

Views: 194/5409
Added: 07/23/2009

In 1984, Bantam Books contacted George and Neal, requesting they write and illustrate a book for their Choose Your Own Adventure book line. George and Neal decided to adapt their favorite book, Everybody Poops, as a choose your own adventure book. Unfortunately, there was really only one possible ending to the book, making it somewhat of a pointless adaption.

 

Everybody Poops - George and Neal's favorite book. Second favorite? Most People Wipe.

George and Neal's favorite book. Second favorite? Most People Wipe.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1984(10) poop(7) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: bantam books(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh....

Views: 211/7507
Added: 09/06/2009

In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have been cloned many times over as George and Neal can't seem to get enough of them), George and Neal gathered the best and brightest scientific minds (read: just the two of them - oh, and they also included Stephen Hawking, not because he's as smart as Neal and George (he's not), but rather because they liked hearing Hawking's melodious robotic voice). The goal: discover a way to eliminate the need to potty train children. Two hours later, the solution was discovered. George and Neal combined the awesome, near-supernatural powers of duct tape and children's pottys, and revealed their newest invention, the "Toilet Tush Taper" (aka "Poop Cubed") to the world. (((Patent (and significantly better name) pending.))) This invention did not sell well, though, after someone realized that the "invention" of taping a toilet to a child's touchas was really the same thing as a diaper. A much heavier, messier, terrible diaper. Red Green was impressed at the ingenious use of duct tape though.

Tags: 2036(2) celebrities(69) failures(22) inventions(48) offspring(13) poop(7) science(28) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: red green(1) stephen hawking(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Paper Product Hoarders

Views: 186/2391
Added: 08/26/2012

In 1994 George began his extensive napkin collection. He collected paper cafeteria napkins and stored them in school lockers around the world. Around the same time Neal started his grand toilet paper collection, storing incredible amounts of toilet paper in laundromats all around Cincinnati. The big difference? George's weren't used.

 

Paper Product Hoarders - The school administration didn't know whether they should laugh or cry. Ironically, if they did cry, they had no tissues whatsoever for their tears.

The school administration didn't know whether they should laugh or cry. Ironically, if they did cry, they had no tissues whatsoever for their tears.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1994(4) education(9) neal funk(18) poop(7)
Names Mentioned: cincinnati(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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The Bucket List

Views: 182/4149
Added: 02/11/2013

In 1994 George and Neal decided that, although they had had many adventures and experienced some really amazing things that most other people can't even imagine, there were still some things they would like to do before they kick the bucket. So they each made their own bucket list. Neal tried to get at least 21 items, he really did, but after adding 15 items on the list he decided that item 16 would be to someday finish the list. George took the lazy route and just made a list of different types of buckets.

 

The Bucket List - It didn't take long for George to complete this list. His next list was a "Shovel List" and after that he tried a "Sh*t List", but that didn't turn out so well (the shovels and buckets came in handy though).

It didn't take long for George to complete this list. His next list was a "Shovel List" and after that he tried a "Sh*t List", but that didn't turn out so well (the shovels and buckets came in handy though).

Photo by: George

 

The Unfinished Bucket List - Oddly enough, Neal completed #9 before he completed #8. His neighbors were thankful, since there's no knowing where Neal's toes have been.

Oddly enough, Neal completed #9 before he completed #8. His neighbors were thankful, since there's no knowing where Neal's toes have been.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1994(4) poop(7) procrastination(5) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Names Mentioned: cincinnati(2) international space station(1) ohio(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)

 
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There is No Zero!

Views: 159/5610
Added: 09/21/2016

In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has been stricken from historical records.

Tags: 0(1) 1966(2) ancient wonders(9) annoying fads(2) australia(2) clem(3) collapse of civilization(3) costumes(4) creamed corn(2) extinction(4) food poisoning(3) foot odor(3) forget this ever happened(9) genetics(16) george funk(11) good vibrations(2) great music(4) groin kick(3) historic events(18) History(13) hollandaise sauce(2) israeli food(2) jaguanst(8) kicking ass(16) lasagna(2) lawsuits(13) lotion(2) neal funk(18) oops(16) party like its 1999(2) people of history(33) phallus(8) platypus(4) pleasurebot(3) poop(7) power tools(2) pudding(2) reasons julie weeps(2) revenge(6) rhubarb(4) scantily clad people(15) stinky feet(3) strange disappearances(2) things george eats(3) things neal eats(9) things we made better(4) time paradoxes are fun(4) time travel(3) turtles & tortoises(3) vajazzled(3) wives(15) xxx(11) zoos and farm animals(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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