The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


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Part 1

123 Entries on This Page

 

Just a little background...

###Just a little background - This entire story was listed in the "Details on how you know each other" section of Facebook. Unfortunately the field for entering other details, while extremely long, and longer than we expected (that's what she said), ... Read More

Tags: background(1) first(3) that's what she said(6)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 1518/3184
Added: 02/09/2009

 

From the generic

From the generic "How Do You Know" fields:Lived together?You lived in Sin in 1998.You lived in a van down by the river (but we swear nothing steamy happened) from 2004 to 2009.You lived in inside the underbelly of a Tauntaun - more romantic than it s... Read More

Tags: 1979(2) 1980(4) 1981(4) 1982(5) 1983(6) 1984(10) 1987(7) 1995(2) 1997(6) 1998(9) 2001(8) 2002(1) 2003(3) 2004(3) 2009(21) friends mentioned(4) our bands(8) relationships(6) rhubarb(4) star wars(7) thimblecon(2)
Names Mentioned: asgard(1) atlantis(1) beat farmers(1) chicago(14) djibuti(1) greenland(2) guinea-bissau(1) kyrgyzstan(1) lichtenstein(1) metropolis(1) moldova(1) nicholas exner(1) panama(1) qatar(1) star wars(6) sumatra(1) suriname(1) university of illinois(5)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration
Views: 387/9621
Added: 02/09/2009

 

In the Beginning... AKA: The Origin

Neal met George workin' on the farm. George always promised Neal he'd see the rabbits.After a falling out, they met years later on a city bus. Wait, did I say bus? I meant brothel.

Tags: brothel(2) business ventures(43) origin(24) rabbits(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 379/2801
Added: 02/09/2009

 

Peaches and CREAM!

Years later, Neal and George had limited success as the Rollerderby team, "Peaches and CREAM!"

 

Peaches and CREAM! - They were sensational!


Tags: rollerderby(1) sports(23)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 163/1829
Added: 02/10/2009

 

The Great Smog of '52

In 1952 (but chronologically in 1997 during a trip in a time machine they co-invented) George and Neal visited London, resulting in the Great Smog of '52 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Smog_of_1952).

Tags: 1952(3) 1997(6) amazing abilities(16) britain(9) george funk(11) neal funk(18) pollution(1) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: london(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 434/3327
Added: 02/10/2009

 

March of 2009

In March of 2009 George traveled back to February of 2009 just to make this entry in this list of great accomplishments.

Tags: 2009(21) time machine(37)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 171/1430
Added: 02/11/2009

 

EastKippur

In an effort to unify religions, George and Neal combined Easter and Yom Kippur, (known as "EastKippur"). Unfortunately, this resulted in a cruel irony wherein children are surrounded by chocolate rabbits but denied the opportunity to eat them.

Tags: blends(3) christian(8) holidays(8) jewish(6) mashups(12) rabbits(2) religion(11)
Names Mentioned: easter(1) yom kippur(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 161/2959
Added: 02/12/2009

 

Samhain and Zarathosht Diso

A second attempt to unite the religious holidays of Samhain and Zarathosht Diso was equally disastrous since neither of them was Wiccan or Zoroastrian.

 

Samhain and Zarathosht Diso - Venn diagrams are always helpful.


Tags: failures(22) holidays(8) mashups(12) religion(11) wicca(1) zoroastrianism(1)
Names Mentioned: samhain(1) zarathosht diso(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 152/1215
Added: 02/12/2009

 

Tooth-whitening Toothpaste

George and Neal hit great fame in the late '80s after successfully marketing a tooth-whitening toothpaste. However, when it was discovered that the "paste" was merely the inside of a Twinkie®, sales plummeted, except in Europe.

Tags: 1980s(7) business ventures(43) europe(4) failures(22) toothpaste(4)
Names Mentioned: twinkies(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 154/3087
Added: 02/12/2009

 

Teeth are for Wussies, so Give Edentulous a Chance

In order to prevent George and Neal from becoming destitute after the ADA failed to support their new toothpaste approximately three dozen musicians, actors, and rhubarb farmers (friends from the IARF) joined together to perform a benefit concert and... Read More

 

Teeth are for Wussies, so Give Edentulous a Chance - Finally.... a worthy cause!


Tags: 1980s(7) awards and recognition(12) celebrities(69) edentulous(2) rhubarb(4) toothpaste(4)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 159/4196
Added: 02/12/2009

 

We Help You Help Yourself - Self Help Clinic

In 2005, George and Neal founded the "We Help You Help Yourself - Self Help Clinic". It is unknown at this time whether the Clinic was a whopping success or an utter failure, as George and Neal never unlocked the doors to the clinic, assuming those w... Read More

Tags: business ventures(43) failures(22)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 379/3991
Added: 02/13/2009

 

Cold Fusion

In 2035 George and Neal (using their time machine again) discovered the secret to producing Cold Fusion power. Unfortunately at the time they didn't realize the implications of their discovery since they were only trying to develop a more efficient w... Read More

Tags: 2035(2) 2115(2) business ventures(43) energy(6) inventions(47) poop(7) time machine(37)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 173/4878
Added: 02/13/2009

 

Synchronized Swimming

Remember Karate Kid? Well, George and Neal faced off against each other in a similar competition, except it was not Karate, but rather synchronized swimming. George won, and thanks to Neal's speedo, everyone else lost.

 

Synchronized Swimming - This cannot end well.


Tags: competition(10) movies(40) neal's fashion sense(20) scantily clad people(15) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: karate kid(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 138/3947
Added: 02/13/2009

 

Band Camp

Then there was that one time, in band camp... But we won't go there.

Tags: forget this ever happened(9) music(25) our bands(8)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 128/1429
Added: 02/13/2009

 

Historic 10 year journey from Chicago to DeKalb

Just last year George and Neal began their historic 10 year journey from Chicago to DeKalb. Currently they're stuck in traffic and just called their wives to say they'll be late and expect the trip to actually take 11 years and 3 months.

Tags: chicago(10) dekalb(2) historic events(18) journey(6) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) dekalb(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 105/3954
Added: 02/14/2009

 

Facebook Edit-Off

In early 2009, George and Neal began their epic "Facebook Edit-Off" competition, which spanned eleven years, and over ten thousand pages of irrelevant information about their lives (all true!). All because neither George nor Neal is willing to admit ... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) competition(10) facebook(10)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration
Views: 139/2472
Added: 02/14/2009

 

Neal Simon's Manhood

Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) that this was the result of Neal's long time habit of wussing out and doing things the girly way. In N... Read More

 

Neal Simon's Manhood - Scientific Fact #47(c): All people named Neal Simon are excellent lovers.


Tags: 1990s(3) 2009(21) amazing abilities(16) body parts(14) celebrities(69) phallus(8) theater(8) websites(7) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: biloxi blues(1) king missile(1) lost in yonkers(1) neil simon(1) the odd couple(1)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 547/8072
Added: 02/14/2009

 

Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin

They also built a time machine, accidentally, while trying to fix a blender. The blender was originally broken when George and Neal decided to make "Rock Smoothies." Six blenders later, and the recipe is still not yet ready to be released.

 

Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin - According to Billy Dee Williams, this, too, is smooth every time. Well, relatively.


Tags: inventions(47) origin(24) recipes(9) smoothies(7) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: billy dee williams(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 163/3510
Added: 02/14/2009

 

Falling Out

In 1989 George and Neal had a falling out and didn't speak to each other for over 40 years, until they reconnected over their love of "Rock Smoothies". When they invented their time machine a few weeks after reconnecting, they decided that those 40 y... Read More

Tags: 1989(3) forget this ever happened(9) smoothies(7) time machine(37)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 129/3015
Added: 02/14/2009

 

We the Bad-Ass Americans

George and Neal went on a vacation/bender in 1776 (again with the time machine). Luckily, though wackiness ensued, nothing was altered in our time-line, except that now the Declaration of Independence says, "We the Bad-Ass Americans", and where the s... Read More

 

We the Bad-Ass Americans - Screw you, ducks!


Tags: 1776(2) ducks(3) government(16) historic events(18) laws(10) scantily clad people(15) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: declaration of independence(1) john hancock(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 172/3830
Added: 02/15/2009

 

Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch

In 2000 George and Neal traveled to Africa and met Mr. Fred Abeku, the present branch Manager of Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch, opposite the Grand Mosque Accra, Ghana. He needed help with collecting over $15 million from an account... Read More

Tags: 2000(7) africa(3) business ventures(43) crimes & scams(16) economy(8)
Names Mentioned: africa(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 205/3315
Added: 02/15/2009

 

Breakin'!

In 1984, George starred in the movie "Breakin'!" as Master Shabazz. In 1986, Neal, in an effort to follow in his friend's footsteps, starred in the movie "Breakin'! 2: Electric Boogaloo" as Funkmaster Funky Funk McFunkster. The acting skills exhibite... Read More

 

Breakin'! - This magazine ain't for the suckas!


Tags: 1984(10) 1986(8) movies(40) nicknames(14) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: breakin'!(1) breakin'! 2: electric boogaloo(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 168/3306
Added: 02/15/2009

 

Not Conspiracy Theories

There are conspiracy theories, and then there's the truth. And here it is, at long last. There was no UFO crash at Roswell. It wasn't a weather balloon either though. During another time travel journey George and Neal let one of their genetic experim... Read More

Tags: 2121(3) aliens(5) celebrities(69) cheese(1) conspiracy theories(7) genetics(16) moon(2) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: dollywood(1) nasa(2) roswell(1) wayne newton(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 203/5776
Added: 02/16/2009

 

After George invented the semicolon in Aught 8, Neal loved it so much;; that he decided; to use; it;;; whenever; he;; could.;; Neal's invention of the thorn character Þ was met with much less enthusiasm. But the two combined make a very funny emotico... Read More

Tags: 8(1) emoticons(2) inventions(47) symbols(1)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration
Views: 127/2464
Added: 02/16/2009

 

Zardoz

When George and Neal were told they could do costume designing for Sean Connery, they jumped at the opportunity. Not because they liked Sean Connery - but rather they were intent on taking their revenge after Sean stole their "Rock Smoothies" idea (l... Read More

 

Zardoz - Sweet Revenge.


Tags: 1974(6) celebrities(69) revenge(6) scantily clad people(15) smoothies(7) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: scotland(3) sean connery(1) yugoslavia(1) zardoz(8)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 152/7187
Added: 02/17/2009

 

Teleportation

After beginning to run out of material to add to the "Facebook Edit-Off" competition in year 6 of said competition, George and Neal decided to invent a teleportation device that is able to deconstruct matter and send it to another location within thi... Read More

Tags: 2015(9) animals(16) competition(10) ducks(3) facebook(10) mashups(12) platypus(4) science(28) teleportation(10)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 143/4441
Added: 02/17/2009

 

Bucket Run

George was not the inventor of the famed "bucket run" at U of I, despite the widely held belief (the original bucket run was not actually invented, but rather discovered by none other than the infamous radio personality Mike Pries). However, unknown ... Read More

 

Bucket Run - Good times. Good times.


Tags: 1997(6) 2008(6) 2009(21) economy(8) friends mentioned(4) inventions(47) jaguanst(8) u of i(3)
Names Mentioned: mike pries(1) mountain dew(2) university of illinois(5)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 135/4232
Added: 02/17/2009

 

Back Surgey

In 1997 both Neal and George had major back surgery after carrying one too many bathtubs full of caffeinated, carbonated, goodness. For any normal human beings this would have been a major setback, but Neal and George used the opportunity to have the... Read More

Tags: 1997(6) amazing abilities(16) body parts(14) energy(6) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: stargate(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 171/3574
Added: 02/17/2009

 

We talked in haiku, | And then in anagrams, too. | Darned nuts, understand?

For a period of six months, George and Neal spoke only in haiku - followed by another period where they spoke only in anagrams. No one understood a single thing they said. So, it was the same as usual, really.

Tags: amazing abilities(16) languages(11)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 186/2583
Added: 02/18/2009

 

Science Donations

In 1999, Neal tried to give his body to science. After 30 days, his body was returned as being defective.

Tags: 1999(3) body parts(14) failures(22) neal funk(18) science(28)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 362/3384
Added: 02/18/2009

 

Robot Enslavement

In 2015, robots took over the world. Not as scary as you'd think. The robots were friendly, personable, and wonderful leaders of the enslaved human race. This robotic takeover had nothing to do with George and Neal. Or did it?

Tags: 2015(9) robots(7)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 112/1876
Added: 02/19/2009

 

Party Like It's 1999

In 1998 George and Neal partied like it was 1999. In 1999 George and Neal didn't party.

Tags: 1998(9) 1999(3) party(3)
Names Mentioned: prince(4)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 99/1677
Added: 02/20/2009

 

7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago

In 2001 George and Neal went hang gliding from the top of the 7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago (yes, we know it was never built... in this timeline, but in a parallel universe it was completed in August 2000). They have yet to land, in either timeli... Read More

 

7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago - The thermals over downtown Chicago are impressive, especially the hot air over City Hall and Daley Plaza.


Tags: 2000(7) 2001(8) amazing abilities(16) chicago(10) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: 7 south dearborn tower(2) chicago(14) daley plaza(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 171/3279
Added: 02/21/2009

 

Infecting 1002

In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrived in 1002. They tagged along with a group of colonists, accidentally spreading an epidemic among the... Read More

 

Infecting 1002 - Cold viruses chasing Vikings... Never before had something so huge come out of Neal's nose. Well, except for that one time when he snotted all over Neptune (you always wondered why it's green right?).


Tags: 1002(1) 2001(8) 2010(16) diseases(9) historic events(18) neal funk(18) people of history(33) vikings(2)
Names Mentioned: 7 south dearborn tower(2) carinthia(1) chicago(14) godzilla(3) greenland(2) otto of worms(1) roman empire(1) tokyo(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 136/5830
Added: 02/22/2009

 

Igpay Atinlay: The Origin

Onway ethay iptray ackbay otay 2010 Ealnay andway Eorgegay accidentallyway entway otay 2010 BCEAY. Erethay eythay inventedway Igpay Atinlay. Ethay anguagelay eventuallyway evolvedway intoway actualway Atinlay. Onway anotherway iptray otay 1818 eythay... Read More

Tags: .2010 bce(1) 1818(1) 2010(16) ancient wonders(9) languages(11) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 144/1579
Added: 02/23/2009

 

Geal

In 1955, a small village in Transylvania attempted to assassinate George and Neal for inventing Pig Latin. All attempts were unsuccessful, in part because George and Neal scared the townsfolk with smoke, mirrors, and a conveniently placed donkey. The... Read More

Tags: 1955(2) europe(4) languages(11) nicknames(14) phallus(8) vampires(1) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: dracula(2) john holmes(1) transylvania(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 147/3458
Added: 02/24/2009

 

The Heroic Journey of Two Wonderful, Influential, Benevolent Human Beings

George and Neal walked completely across the country and back in only three days back in 1986. Everyone was really impressed and George and Neal went on the talk-show circuit, landing interviews with the likes of Geraldo, Oprah, Montel, Carson, Lette... Read More

Tags: 1986(8) awards and recognition(12) celebrities(69) crimes & scams(16) journey(6) movies(40) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: barbara walters(1) bruce willis(1) david letterman(1) elmo(3) engelbert humperdink(1) geraldo rivera(1) hallmark(1) johnny carson(1) julia roberts(1) monaco(1) montel jordan(1) oprah winfrey(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 428/8246
Added: 02/25/2009

 

Hollywood DermaFleck

In 1967, George and Neal traveled to Hollywood, to start their business, "Skin Flakes of the Stars". They sold exactly what you think. People reacted exactly how you think. Surprisingly, years later they restarted the business but marketed the produc... Read More

Tags: 1967(2) business ventures(43) celebrities(69) smoothies(7)
Names Mentioned: gnc(1) hollywood(3) jiffy lube(1) vitamin world(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 121/5175
Added: 02/26/2009

 

The Recession of 2009: The Origin

On 2/27/2009 George was too busy and too tired to do anything more than just embellish a bit. So he made up some random dribble just to take up some space. Neal wasted a few seconds of his time reading the dribble. Then everyone else who read this wa... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) economy(8) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 126/2711
Added: 02/27/2009

 

[CENSORED BY FACEBOOK OVERLORDS]

[CENSORED BY FACEBOOK OVERLORDS]... Read More

Tags: facebook(10)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration
Views: 133/435
Added: 02/27/2009

 

Basic Instinct

George was the prime candidate for the Sharon Stone role in Basic Instinct. When George passed on the role, due only to the fact that taking the role would conflict with his ongoing protest against poodles (don't ask), Sharon Stone got the part.

 

Basic Instinct - Oh dear lord.


Tags: celebrities(69) george's fashion sense(12) movies(40)
Names Mentioned: basic instinct(1) sharon stone(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 377/4809
Added: 02/28/2009

 

George and Neal and the Masters of the Universe

In 1981, after the character Orko appeared in the cartoon He-Man, in a move that confused most of the world, Neal sued the cartoon company for infringement of likeness rights. Neal was inspired by George's successful suit a few years earlier for the ... Read More

 

George and Neal and the Masters of the Universe - Interestingly, Teela is listed as one of his friends. Is there something you're not telling us?


Tags: 1981(4) action figures(2) lawsuits(13) masters of the universe(2) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: ebay(2) he-man(2) masters of the universe(2) orko(2) skeletor(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 132/3604
Added: 02/28/2009

 

Visiting Eternia

In 1988 George and Neal used their teleportation device to travel to the planet Eternia to inform the inhabitants of the successful legal proceedings described above. Unfortunately George was feared due to his uncanny resemblance to Skeletor, while N... Read More

Tags: 1988(6) astronomy(8) lawsuits(13) masters of the universe(2) teleportation(10) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: eternia(1) he-man(2) masters of the universe(2) orko(2) skeletor(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 159/3796
Added: 02/28/2009

 

El Niño and La Niña

On a trip to northwestern Peru in 1923 George and Neal both befriended and eventually married the Lopez sisters. The sisters gave birth to two children, simply referred to as The Little Boy and The Little Girl, in Spanish, El Niño and La Niña. After ... Read More

Tags: 1923(1) offspring(13) south america(3) time machine(37) weather(7) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: pacific ocean(2) peru(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 153/5022
Added: 03/01/2009

 

Kidnapped by Ninjas

In 2009, while writing an update to this profile, Neal was kidnapped by ninjas. (Though, truth be told, Neal took out 58 of the ninjas with his awesome karate skills. He was overpowered by the remaining 342 ninjas). Thus, George set on his 14 day que... Read More

 

Kidnapped by Ninjas - That cat shouldn't have talked so much trash.


Tags: 2009(21) cats(8) journey(6) kicking ass(16) movies(40) ninjas(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 200/3771
Added: 03/01/2009

 

Damn you, Midler!

In 2010 George and Neal single handedly (well, I guess double-handedly) save the US from a great depression, by creating a new industry devoted solely to... well, I can't really say here, otherwise our idea will be taken. Probably by Bette Midler, wh... Read More

 

Damn you, Midler! - Bette doing her nightly check of the latest updates in the The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! You won't find anything you can use here Bette! Go away!


Tags: 2010(16) bette midler(4) business ventures(43) celebrities(69) economy(8) inventions(47)
Names Mentioned: bette midler(5)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 161/6814
Added: 03/02/2009

 

2015

In 2015 George and Neal will have finalized all of the details surrounding their friendship. That is, until 2016, when they will have to chronicle all that occurred in 2015.

Tags: 2015(9) 2016(8)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 99/2141
Added: 03/02/2009

 

Witness Protection

In 1992, when they were prime witnesses in the trial of Chicago's Polish Mafia boss Mogul Downhillski, George and Neal entered witness protection where they were relocated to Idaho and given false names. They lived there for three years before they o... Read More

 

Witness Protection - The "Bombing for Bushes" eco-terrorist group wasn't your typical eco-terrorist group. Instead of creating turmoil to push environmental agendas, they just terrorized bushes. We witnessed plenty an azalea go up in flames before the FBI finally caught these punks.


Tags: 1922(1) 2001(8) chicago(10) crimes & scams(16) dekalb(2) nicknames(14) secrets(4) u of i(3)
Names Mentioned: champaign(1) chicago(14) deepak chopra(1) dekalb(2) idaho(1) jane goodall(1) jerry falwell(2) poland(1) university of illinois(5)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 167/4529
Added: 03/04/2009

 

Illuminati, New World Order, Bilderberg Group, Committee of 300, the Freemasons, Skull & Bones, The Stonecutters, and the Shriners

George and Neal are the Illuminati and the New World Order. We lead the Bilderberg Group and organize the annual Bilderberg Conference. Our headquarters are underneath the Denver International Airport. We also founded the Committee of 300, the Freema... Read More

 

Illuminati, New World Order, Bilderberg Group, Committee of 300, the Freemasons, Skull & Bones, The Stonecutters, and the Shriners - This was taken moments before Neal went on his road rage rampage and ended up getting pulled over for doing 7mph in a 5mph construction zone. George mooned him as he drove by laughing.


Tags: conspiracy theories(7) organizations(15)
Names Mentioned: bilderberg group(1) committee of 300(1) denver(1) freemasons(1) illuminati(1) new world order(1) shriners(1) skull & bones(1) the stonecutters(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 358/4091
Added: 03/04/2009

 

Super Bowl: The Origin

In 1967 George and Neal shared the MVP award at the World Championship football game. When they were interviewed about their success, they were asked how they felt about their accomplishments and what their plans for the future were. Their response: ... Read More

Tags: 1967(2) awards and recognition(12) origin(24) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: sports illustrated(2) super bowl(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 172/3117
Added: 03/05/2009

 

George & Neal's Excellent Adventure

In 1988, Bill and Ted went on an excellent adventure. Nothing compared to the exploits of George and Neal, which the movie was based off of. However, like all "based on a true story" movies, certain facts were glossed over or changed. For example, Ne... Read More

Tags: 1988(6) ancient wonders(9) inspirations(19) ipod(2) jaguanst(8) journey(6) movies(40) napoleon(2) people of history(33) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: apple computer corporation(3) beethoven(1) bill and ted's excellent adventure(2) charlie brown(3) ghengis kahn(1) ipod(2) joan of arc(1) napoleon(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 160/6138
Added: 03/05/2009

 

Fear Factor Delicacies

In 1998, George convinced Neal to go on Fear Factor, where Neal went on to eat 50 scorpions, 12 worms, and over a hundred bull testicles. Neal later learned in fact that George had merely played a practical joke and he was never on Fear Factor. Neal ... Read More

 

Fear Factor Delicacies - Why Neal took a liking to these we will never know, but he just couldn't stop downing them like there was no tomorrow.


Tags: 1998(9) food(44) revenge(6) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: fear factor(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 194/5223
Added: 03/07/2009

 

Napoleon's iPod: The Origin

In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the location of the Battle of Borodino. Rumors were that it was a relic of an alien civilization that was ... Read More

Tags: 2001(8) aliens(5) ancient wonders(9) inventions(47) ipod(2) napoleon(2) origin(24) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: apple computer corporation(3) ipod(2) napoleon(2) russia(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 153/4914
Added: 03/07/2009

 

They're all True Stories

Numerous TV shows and Movies (and also a few books) have been based on the life and times of George and Neal. Included in these are: Superman, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (as noted above, however not Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, at least not ... Read More

Tags: a-team(2) awards and recognition(12) inspirations(19) knight rider(2) movies(40) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: altered states(1) animal farm(1) a-team(3) beavis & butthead(2) bill and ted's bogus journey(1) bill and ted's excellent adventure(2) casablanca(1) get smart(1) gone with the wind(1) goonies(1) gunsmoke(1) hamlet(1) indiana jones(1) james and the giant peach(1) knight rider(2) muppet show(1) neil gaiman(1) plan 9 from outer space(1) soylent green(1) star trek deep space 9(1) superman(1) tales of a geisha(1) the game(1) the lorax(1) welcome back kotter(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 141/6414
Added: 03/08/2009

 

The DHARMA Initiative

In 1973, Neal and George co-founded the DHARMA initiative (yeah, those Lost guys got the idea from us), in an effort to prevent the pending apocalypse. Also, to make peanut butter that won't stick to the roof of your mouth. Unfortunately, there are t... Read More

 

The DHARMA Initiative - Famine got lucky this time with a PB&J sandwich. Too bad Pestilence had already handled it and contaminated it with salmonella.


Tags: 1973(2) apocalypse(3) food(44) organizations(15) peanuts(6) recipes(9) they stole our ideas(7) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: lost(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 195/5084
Added: 03/09/2009

 

Just Another Barbecue

In the summer of 2009, George and Neal had a barbecue. (Hey, not everything is as exciting as time traveling or fighting off townspeople.) Oh yeah, there were hordes of zombies at the barbecue that George and Neal had to battle. Almost forgot about t... Read More

 

Just Another Barbecue - Still, it wasn't the worst barbecue we've attended...

 

Mmmm...  Grilled Zombie... - ...we did manage to get some interesting bits to try grilling.


Tags: 2009(21) food(44) kicking ass(16) relaxing(1) zombies(21)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1), Neal (1)
Views: 342/4822
Added: 03/10/2009

 

Don Cherry's Wardrobe: The Origin

George and Neal are in charge or Don Cherry's wardrobe.

 

Don Cherry's Wardrobe: The Origin - George and Neal with Don Cherry and one of his tamer getups.


Tags: celebrities(69) costumes(4) neal's fashion sense(20) origin(24)
Names Mentioned: don cherry(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 130/3969
Added: 03/10/2009

 

Sisters of Endless Guilt

In 1962 George and Neal dressed as nuns and moved into the Sisters of Endless Guilt convent, just for kicks. We lived there for three and a half months before we were discovered. After being sent out of the convent we took our habits to Antarctica to... Read More

Tags: 1962(1) animals(16) antarctica(2) christian(8) costumes(4) crimes & scams(16) george's fashion sense(12) neal's fashion sense(20) religion(11)
Names Mentioned: antarctica(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 129/3433
Added: 03/11/2009

 

The Prolific Pancake Pileup

Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that's just what happened. They made a fortune as a result, but lost it all when multiple lawsuits were ... Read More

 

The Prolific Pancake Pileup - Uncle Buck has a long way to go before he can match these babies. We had traffic stopped for three days while crews cleaned up syrup and butter.


Tags: 1952(3) food(44) inventions(47) lawsuits(13) movies(40) recipes(9)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) illinois(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 577/5288
Added: 03/12/2009

 

Darwin Loves Us!

In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection theory. Confusingly, the Vatican has suppressed this information for generations.

 

Darwin Loves Us! - He couldn't have been that mad; he gave us a signed copy!


Tags: .10000 bce(1) ancient wonders(9) body parts(14) christian(8) evolution(5) inventions(47) people of history(33) prehistoric(6)
Names Mentioned: charles darwin(1) vatican(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 197/4195
Added: 03/13/2009

 

The Opposable Nose: The Origin

In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. However, there is a tribe of people in the central forests of Simushir, known as the Norge, which embr... Read More

 

The Opposable Nose: The Origin - Egroeg, preparing to bestow the wonderful gift of the opposable nose.


Tags: .9996 bce(1) ancient wonders(9) body parts(14) george's fashion sense(12) hair(11) inventions(47) nicknames(14) origin(24) prehistoric(6)
Names Mentioned: simushir(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George & Neal Collaboration (1)
Views: 262/4730
Added: 03/13/2009

 

Vacationing in 165,003 B.C.

In 165,003 BCE George and Neal visited Macronesia, a large continent in the now Pacific Ocean (not to be confused with Macaronesia in the Atlantic). Unfortunately, while there we were careless and broke it into lots of smaller pieces. It is now known... Read More

 

Vacationing in 165,003 B.C. - A map of Macronesia and the route George and Neal took on their visit, prior to breaking it into Micronesia...


Tags: .165003 bce(1) journey(6) oops(16) prehistoric(6)
Names Mentioned: atlantic ocean(2) macaronesia(1) micronesia(1) pacific ocean(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 123/2861
Added: 03/14/2009

 

Able Archer 83: The Origin

In 1983, George devised a 10-day NATO exercise to simulate World War 3, so that all nations participating could see what would happen in the worst case scenario of war. Unfortunately, Neal forgot to tell the Soviet Union about George's game/simulatio... Read More

Tags: 1983(6) historic events(18) origin(24) wars(4)
Names Mentioned: able archer 83(1) nato(1) soviet union(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 391/2878
Added: 03/14/2009

 

Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire

In 2006, Neal appeared on the television spin off, "Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire". Neal did not win the hundred dollars.

Tags: 2006(2) failures(22) games(14) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: who wants to be a millionaire(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 165/2402
Added: 03/15/2009

 

Binabble and Mon-opoly

Also in 2006, George invented a scrabble board game, called "Binabble" and instead of letters, you could only use 1's and 0's. The game didn't sell very well because the game board was too huge. Neal also invented a board game called "Mon-opoly". It ... Read More

 

Binabble and Mon-opoly - The game board went on for miles and miles. Even Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey couldn't see the end of it.


Tags: 2006(2) games(14) inventions(47)
Names Mentioned: jamaica(1) monopoly(1) scrabble(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 219/3814
Added: 03/15/2009

 

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, nothing happened because Star Wars was just a story made up by George Lucas (although the plot was loosely based on George and Neal's adventures with a similar all-encompassing power called the Farce). Howe... Read More

Tags: failures(22) inspirations(19) journey(6) movies(40) star wars(7)
Names Mentioned: illinois(3) milky way galaxy(1) pegasus galaxy(1) star wars(6) stargate(2) stickney(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 136/4670
Added: 03/16/2009

 

Clean, Efficient, Traumatizing Feeble Power

In 1998, George decided to traumatize Neal by forcing him to watch Peter Jackson's lesser known muppets-on-drugs movie, Meet the Feebles. Neal has been sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth ever since. On the plus side, George realized he could... Read More

 

Clean, Efficient, Traumatizing Feeble Power - The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is powered by people viewing this still from "Meet the Feebles". Thanks for doing your part to keep our site running.


Tags: 1998(9) celebrities(69) energy(6) inventions(47) meet the feebles(1) mental trauma(8)
Names Mentioned: meet the feebles(1) peter jackson(1) power rangers(1) spice girls(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 238/5607
Added: 03/16/2009

 

Calendar Confusion

In 46 BCE George and Neal suggested a new calendar to Julius Caesar. Caesar adopted most of the rules we specified, but not all of them. In 1582 George and Neal again proposed their new, more accurate calendar system, which was officially adopted by ... Read More

Tags: .46 bce(1) 1582(1) 1900s(1) 2800(1) calendars(4) george w. bush(5) historic events(18) inventions(47) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: george w. bush(4) julius caesar(1) pope gregory xiii(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 126/4303
Added: 03/16/2009

 

Tic-Tac-Toe-Two

George and Neal have an unhealthy obsession with Milton Bradley and other board games. This obsession, however, has proven beneficial. For instance George and Neal won second place at the Life Board Game National Competition two times (1956 and 1978)... Read More

 

Tic-Tac-Toe-Two - Tic-Tac-Toe-Two - The X's won, but by a close margin.


Tags: 1956(2) 1978(5) australia(2) games(14) inventions(47)
Names Mentioned: australia(1) milton bradley(1)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 120/3083
Added: 03/17/2009

 

In Great Shape

In 1902 George and Neal developed a revolutionary diet program. The program slowly grew and evolved until the 1950s and 1960s when it suddenly took off and became an incredible success. We marketed it as a system where you could eat delicious foods a... Read More

Tags: 1902(2) 1950s(2) 1960s(2) business ventures(43) crimes & scams(16) food(44) inventions(47)
Names Mentioned: america(8)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 116/4123
Added: 03/17/2009

 

Broccloaf

In 1993, George won rave reviews with food critics across the nation (though mostly in southern New Jersey) when he created a tasty new meatloaf. Not to be outdone, Neal created the vegetarian alternative, Broccloaf. It tastes terrible. The Scottish ... Read More

Tags: 1993(1) awards and recognition(12) food(44) recipes(9)
Names Mentioned: new jersey(1) scotland(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 111/2421
Added: 03/18/2009

 

Oh God I Shot Momma

In 1949, George starred in the off-Broadway (well, off-off Broadway) play "Oh God I Shot Momma" as the corpse. On a completely different note, that same year Neal was beaten by Albert Einstein at both chess and wrestling - at the same time. That guy ... Read More

 

Oh God I Shot Momma - This was one dude you didn't want to mess with. He'd pin you so fast that you'd age a little bit more than him.


Tags: 1949(2) einstein(3) games(14) people of history(33) sports(23) theater(8)
Names Mentioned: albert einstein(3) Broadway(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 786/4094
Added: 03/18/2009

 

Save the Dinosaurs

65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash into the earth. They transported the dinosaurs to a planet known as Gliese 581 d. Over the past 65 ... Read More

Tags: .65000000 bce(1) aliens(5) animals(16) astronomy(8) britain(9) dinosaurs(2) evolution(5) extinction(4) games(14) save the aminals(6) teleportation(10) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) earth(3)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 147/4242
Added: 03/18/2009

 

Smells That I Can Produce and Then Identify

Neal and George's love of board games inspired George W. Bush to create his own line of games. He really wanted to create complex games that require an immense amount of concentration. His games, "Count Your Noses", "Connect the Dot", and "Smells Tha... Read More

 

Smells That I Can Produce and Then Identify - It's more challenging than it looks...


Tags: games(14) george w. bush(5) movies(40)
Names Mentioned: 21st century fox(1) george w. bush(4)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 159/4458
Added: 03/19/2009

 

The Twelve Step Approach

In 2010 George insisted Neal seek therapy to break his addiction to board games. Neal entered the program but came out six weeks later with a great idea for a game called "The Twelve Step Approach". The game has been a big hit in Hollywood and has at... Read More

 

The Twelve Step Approach - It's anticipated that the show will be a runaway success, just like the board game. In other words, if you run away you might succeed.


Tags: 2010(16) celebrities(69) games(14) inventions(47) rehab(3) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: amy winehouse(1) david hasselhoff(2) deal or no deal(1) elmo(3) hollywood(3) i know what you did last summer(1) lindsey lohan(2) nbc(3) nick nolte(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 135/7397
Added: 03/19/2009

 

Worst... Enya... Ever...

George was the fifth Beatle. However, due to a problem with the time machine, he had to forsake this role, give up fame and fortune and return to his present time. George tells everyone he meets this fact. In 2000, Neal was the sixth Backstreet Boy. ... Read More

Tags: 2000(7) beatles(3) celebrities(69) music(25) neal's fashion sense(20) scantily clad people(15)
Names Mentioned: backstreet boys(1) beatles(4) enya(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 207/5609
Added: 03/20/2009

 

QZIZZLE-PIZZLE

In 1856 George and Neal invented over six different types of keyboards, the now ubiquitous QWERTY keyboard, the still sometimes used Dvorak keyboard, the infrequently used DHIATENSOR keyboard, and less common QWERTZ, AZERTY, QZERTY, Colemak, Turkish-... Read More

Tags: 1856(1) inventions(47)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration
Views: 136/2003
Added: 03/20/2009

 

Mmmmmmm... George Juice!

For unexplained reasons, George loves to bathe in Worcestershire sauce (which Dictionary.com defines as a "savory sauce of vinegar, soy sauce and spices"). In 2004, George bottled and sold the bathsauce under the moniker "George Juice". Its sales are... Read More

 

Mmmmmmm...  George Juice! - George Juice - It's tragically delicious.At least in theory. We've never actually tried it, but it sells like hotcakes!


Tags: 2004(3) business ventures(43) food(44) george funk(11) recipes(9)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 206/4974
Added: 03/20/2009

 

Great Organization Over Development of the Global Relief of Idiocy Effort

In 1978 George and Neal received the Nobel Peace Prize for their work for the Great Organization Over Development of the Global Relief of Idiocy Effort (GOOD GRIEF). In the span of three short years they managed to provide safe, secure environments f... Read More

Tags: 1978(5) 1982(5) awards and recognition(12) organizations(15)
Names Mentioned: nobel peace prize(2) wal-mart(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 198/2664
Added: 03/21/2009

 

Constitutionally Safe

A 1934 proposed amendment to the Constitution would have prevented George and Neal from having anything to do with interfering in global events again. Luckily George and Neal were able to organize a filibuster and then ear mark the bill with enough j... Read More

Tags: 1934(2) government(16) laws(10)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 108/2392
Added: 03/21/2009

 

Sorry-for-the-Hyphens

In 1983, George and Neal started the hair-metal/country band "Sorry-for-the-Hyphens". They gained a small cult following as a result of their minor semi-autobiographical hits, including: "This-Restraining-Order-Means-I-Love-You"; "Please-Don't-Throw-... Read More

Tags: 1983(6) hair(11) music(25) our bands(8) theater(8) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: batman(8) law and order(2) robin williams(8) sesame street(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 143/4892
Added: 03/22/2009

 

The Evian Mobile

In 1910 George and Neal, knowing the future issues that would be caused by the pollution from combustion engines, invented a highly efficient hydrogen powered car that ran on common bottled water; a 20oz bottle lasted 350 miles. Unfortunately bottled... Read More

 

The Evian Mobile - This vehicle, with its over-sized Evian bottles, could travel over 12,000 miles before needing a refill.


Tags: 1910(1) business ventures(43) energy(6) inventions(47) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: evian(1) fordmotor company(1) standard oil(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 118/4209
Added: 03/22/2009

 

Vanished Celebrity Vaudeville Variety Hour

In 1937 George and Neal, while experimenting with a new potato gun in the central Pacific, accidentally shot down Amelia Earhart's airplane. They were able to rescue her from the wreckage and she ended up staying on the island with them for quite a w... Read More

Tags: 1937(2) 2064(1) celebrities(69) organizations(15) theater(8)
Names Mentioned: adolf hitler(1) al capone(1) amelia earhart(1) andy kaufman(1) atilla the hun(1) beavis & butthead(2) benjamin franklin(1) bono(1) bronson pinchot(1) cher(1) cleopatra(2) dr. teeth and the electric mayhem(1) elvis(1) glen miller(2) jake the snake roberts(1) jaleel white(1) james dean(1) jim morrison(1) jimmy hoffa(1) kurt cobain(2) ludwig von beethoven(1) marcus schrenker(1) nikola tesla(1) notorious b. i. g.(1) shelley long(1) sonny bono(1) stephen foster(1) the fraggles(1) tupac shakur(1) william hung(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 384/7411
Added: 03/22/2009

 

Definitely not Vain

In 1988, Neal and Billy Joel started a fire. Billy Joel denies it. In 2000, Carly Simon admitted she wrote "You're so Vain" about her 10-month, steamy love affair with George. Making it even more ironic, George had no idea the song was about him.

 

Definitely not Vain - Carly and Hotcakes, before the pain...


Tags: 1988(6) 2000(7) celebrities(69) george's fashion sense(12) music(25)
Names Mentioned: billy joel(1) carly simon(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 149/4615
Added: 03/23/2009

 

The Multiverse

There are lots of stories about the Bermuda Triangle and how it causes ships and airplanes to mysteriously disappear. In actuality, this is the simply a side effect of George and Neal using their Time Travel technology. Every time we travel in time a... Read More

Tags: conspiracy theories(7) science(28) time machine(37) toys(3) u of i(3)
Names Mentioned: barbie(2) bermuda triangle(1) hot wheels(1) matchbox cars(1) university of illinois(5)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 107/3407
Added: 03/23/2009

 

Area 51¾

Area 51 - There is no such thing. I repeat, there is no such thing as Area 51. Area 51¾, however has been kept such a great secret by George and Neal that even the US government hasn't heard of it.

Tags: aliens(5) conspiracy theories(7) organizations(15) secrets(4)
Names Mentioned: area 51(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 117/2341
Added: 03/23/2009

 

We're Not Bigfoot

George and Neal are both virile, macho men - so much so that if they did not shave for two days, hair would grow all over their body, making them look "ape-like." Occasionally, they do not shave, but still appear in public. This explains the constant... Read More

 

We're Not Bigfoot - Later that day Neal shaved and went to dinner at Applebee's. No one suspected a thing.


Tags: amazing abilities(16) animals(16) conspiracy theories(7) george funk(11) hair(11) mythological critters(7) neal's fashion sense(20)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 224/3598
Added: 03/24/2009

 

It Was A Big Stapler

In 1959, George and Neal did some other awesome stuff, and one thing they are both not very proud of. It involved a tray of ice, a can of motor oil, and an industrial-sized stapler. I don't want to talk about it. Let's move on. Please.

Tags: 1959(1) forget this ever happened(9) stapler(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 392/1815
Added: 03/24/2009

 

Norris and Nye

George and Neal taught Chuck Norris everything he knows about kicking ass and Bill Nye everything he knows about science.

Tags: celebrities(69) kicking ass(16) science(28)
Names Mentioned: bill nye(1) chuck norris(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 127/3982
Added: 03/24/2009

 

Procrastinat... I'll finish later...

Despite having a time machine, George and Neal are terrible procrastinators. In fact the time travelling makes things even worse because they just skip around due dates.

Tags: procrastination(5) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9) time machine(37)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 117/1941
Added: 03/24/2009

 

The Dark Ages: The Origin

In about 480 AD the sun broke. In 1111 AD George and Neal invented a new, more efficient sun. That's why that period in history is known as the Dark Ages.

 

The Dark Ages: The Origin - When the old coal powered Sun started to peter out, George and Neal got on the job and brightened things up with our all new, efficient and clean, nuclear fusion powered Sun.


Tags: 1111(1) 480(1) astronomy(8) energy(6) historic events(18) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 120/2828
Added: 03/25/2009

 

Free TV!

George and Neal can view the entire electromagnetic spectrum, not only visible light. This has many uses and has helped us with our amazing achievements. We are also able to listen to radio and watch TV by directly observing their transmission signal... Read More

Tags: amazing abilities(16) food(44) science(28) tv shows(48)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 177/4669
Added: 03/25/2009

 

George Spores

In September 1928, Neal and George decided to attempt to clone themselves so that future generations could benefit from their awesomeness. Neal believed he was on to something when he created "George Spores", which grew from George's feet. In reality... Read More

 

George Spores - George Spores... Who knew they would be so beneficial. They are rather good looking though.


Tags: 1928(1) diseases(9) george funk(11) historic events(18) Inspirations(19) people of history(33) science(28)
Names Mentioned: alexander flemming(1) university of illinois(5)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 146/4879
Added: 03/25/2009

 

It's Convenient: The Origin

In 711 AD on July 11th at 7:11pm George and Neal invented the convenience store. Then, in 1927 some guy named Joe Thompson completely ripped off our idea and is widely credited with inventing the convenience store. I guess it's our own fault though. ... Read More

Tags: 1927(3) 711(1) 718(1) business ventures(43) historic events(18) inventions(47) origin(24) people of history(33) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: 7-eleven(1) charlemagne(1) joe thompson(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 386/5529
Added: 03/26/2009

 

Viking/English Hostility

On June 8, 793 AD George and Neal orchestrated the first Viking attack on England; the raid on the monastery of Lindisfarne in Northumbria. This was the beginning the Viking Age and nearly 300 years of Viking/English hostility until George and Neal h... Read More

Tags: 1066(1) 793(1) britain(9) historic events(18) people of history(33) vikings(2) wars(4)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) duke william of normandy(1) king harold ii(1) king william i(1) northumbria(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 138/3702
Added: 03/26/2009

 

Slap-Bracelets: The Origin

In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustration of law enforcement across the nation, these new handcuffs were easily removable. As a result, hund... Read More

Tags: 1990s(3) crimes & scams(16) failures(22) inventions(47) origin(24) success!(13)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 144/3302
Added: 03/26/2009

 

Big Triangular Shaped Buildings

In 2540 BCE George and Neal designed and supervised the construction of the great Pyramid at Giza. We didn't use slave labor like many historians suspect though. Instead we paid our employees handsomely. We provided full benefits, including family he... Read More

 

Big Triangular Shaped Buildings - Don't worry, we met with their union representatives and came to an agreement. We provided them with additional healthcare coverage and time off and they agreed to a 2% pay reduction. Also, we turned up the heat (Egypt was pretty cold back then). The project was completed on schedule (without resorting to the time machine), quite an accomplishment for George and Neal.


Tags: .2450 bce(1) africa(3) ancient wonders(9) antarctica(2) asia(2) business ventures(43) europe(4) north america(2) south america(3)
Names Mentioned: africa(2) alaska(1) antarctica(2) china(3) great pyramid at giza(2) greece(2) inca empire(1) north america(1) polynesia(1) sumeria(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 538/5325
Added: 03/27/2009

 

Hollow Earth

On and off for 35,000 years George and Neal worked on hollowing out the Earth. The dirt we hauled out was used to make the moon. The interior of the Earth is inhabited by numerous prehistoric creatures, fantastic races of humans, and even creatures t... Read More

Tags: conspiracy theories(7) moon(2) mythological critters(7) organizations(15) people of history(33) publications(14) save the aminals(6)
Names Mentioned: arthur gordon pym(1) edgar allan poe(1) frank c. baxter(1) jules verne(1) nantucket(1) paris hilton(1) scrooge mcduck(1) steven currey(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 358/4331
Added: 03/27/2009

 

Love Aid Rings

In 1951, George and Neal decided to make a line of "Love Aid Rings" to sell to the public. Neal designed them based upon his own body, which he felt was of average proportion and size. People were not ready for such a product back in the 50's. That's... Read More

 

Love Aid Rings - Neal's "Love Aid Rings" got much more use, and brought joy to many more people in their modified "Hula Hoop" form. These women were much less excited when they tried these out as "Love Aid Rings".


Tags: 1950s(2) 1951(1) body parts(14) inventions(47) phallus(8) sports(23)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 140/3850
Added: 03/27/2009

 

Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System

In 1758 George and Neal invented tooth paste. Their first attempt was made from actual ground up teeth and was used to hold in dentures, but eventually they came up with a recipe for a tooth whitening and cleaning paste. In 1794 George and Neal inven... Read More

Tags: 1758(1) 1794(1) body parts(14) britain(9) inventions(47) laws(10) toothpaste(4)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) indiana(1)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration
Views: 184/5242
Added: 03/28/2009

 

1964 through 1969

In 1983 Neal and George co-wrote a short story that chronicled their adventures from 1964 through 1969. The story was well received in the literary community and we received several offers to turn the story into full length novels. We approved two au... Read More

 

1964 through 1969 - So very much happened during those five years.


Tags: 1964(2) 1969(2) 1983(6) inspirations(19) movies(40) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: band of brothers(1) hbo(1) sisterhood of the travelling pants(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 200/4585
Added: 03/28/2009

 

Feats of Strength!™

In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using his secret muscle enhancing device created, conveniently enough, by Neal and George years earlier, w... Read More

Tags: .2000 bce(1) 1983(6) amazing abilities(16) ancient wonders(9) body parts(14) britain(9) competition(10) prehistoric(6) sports(23) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) stonehenge(1) wiltshire(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 168/4857
Added: 03/29/2009

 

March of 2009

In March of 2009 George went back to February of 2009 and added another entry to this list of great accomplishments. This was George's laziest way to pass the ball back to Neal to add another entry to the list of great accomplishments. Neal then did ... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9) time machine(37)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration
Views: 145/2292
Added: 03/30/2009

 

Under Siege

In 1992 George and Neal starred in the blockbuster action hit "Under Siege". George starred as the ex-Navy SEAL turned cook who must protect an aircraft carrier from a group of mercenaries. Neal starred as the helpless stripper that jumped out of a b... Read More

 

Under Siege - George and Neal in their respective roles for the blockbuster hit, "Under Siege". Do a search - Neal's picture is all over the internet for this scene.


Tags: 1992(2) movies(40) neal's fashion sense(20)
Names Mentioned: under siege(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 448/3121
Added: 04/01/2009

 

Ralph Malph

In 1920, George unfortunately lost millions investing in a ponzi scheme, in which his investments were used to pay earlier investors. In 1979, Neal lost millions investing in a Fonzi scheme, in which his investments were used to pay Ralph Malph. Geor... Read More

 

Ralph Malph - I'll find you, Malph. Wherever you are.


Tags: 1918(1) 1920(1) 1979(2) celebrities(69) crimes & scams(16) revenge(6) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: fonzi(2) ralph malph(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 152/5139
Added: 04/02/2009

 

The Neo-Geo Fanclub

In an effort to find a way to accurately predict the weather, Neal and George devised a weather-prediction machine, which was comprised of a series of pulleys and levers connected to highly explosive nitroglycerin. This invention did nothing - except... Read More

 

The Neo-Geo Fanclub - Above: Hardware entirely unrelated to the Neo-Geo fan club. Well, unless if there is another fan club of the same name which is not devoted entirely to the accomplishments of George and Neal, but rather to celebrate a failed gaming console. In that case, disregard this comment, at least as it relates to that club.


Tags: 1990s(3) 2005(2) failures(22) hair(11) inventions(47) organizations(15) video games(12) weather(7)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 156/4490
Added: 04/03/2009

 

Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party

Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Territory". George would bake the cakes and deliver them and Neal would jump out of them. This was a v... Read More

 

Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Taken just seconds before Neal took off running, much to Jerry and Pat's disappointment.


Tags: 1992(2) 1998(9) business ventures(43) celebrities(69) christian(8) food(44) movies(40) neal's fashion sense(20) phallus(8) religion(11) scantily clad people(15) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: jerry falwell(2) pat robertson(1) under siege(3) under siege 2: dark territory(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 131/9361
Added: 04/04/2009

 

Religious iDeals

In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of this religion involved eating lots of chocolate, sleeping, makin' sweet love down by the fire, and ... Read More

Tags: 1935(1) 1944(1) food(44) government(16) movies(40) religion(11) science(28) tv shows(48) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: blues brothers(1) the simpsons(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 204/5848
Added: 04/05/2009

 

Allergic to Peanuts

In 1950 George created a comic strip about a short bald kid that everyone picked on. The strip competed closely with another very similar comic strip for decades. Each week George would come up with a great idea only to have it copied almost exactly ... Read More

Tags: 1950(3) cats(8) comics(2) government(16) peanuts(6) publications(14) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: charles m. schulz(1) charlie brown(3) garfield(1) george gately(1) heathcliff(1) jim davis(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 149/4635
Added: 04/06/2009

 

The Georgeless Bunch

In 1969, George was up for the role as Greg Brady on the show The Brady Bunch. However, George did not get the part due to "accidentally" throwing a football at Maureen McCormick's face after she rejected his awkward advances (well, at least, they we... Read More

Tags: 1969(2) 1970s(3) they stole our ideas(7) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: brady bunch(2) eve plumb(1) greg brady(1) marsha brady(1) maureen mccormick(1) mr. roeper(1) three's company(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 149/3941
Added: 04/07/2009

 

Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer

680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmindedly left their Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer system behind when we were packing up to r... Read More

 

Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - If Neal would have only remembered to shut the darn lid... We could be surfing the cosmos as pure energy right now instead of puttering about on this archaic thing we call the internet.


Tags: .680000000 bce(1) 2009(21) 33458730(1) evolution(5) oops(16) prehistoric(6) science(28) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: taylor wharton(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 726/4781
Added: 04/08/2009

 

P & VP

Through a series of mishaps and mistaken identities, for a three-day period in 1943 George and Neal assumed the position of President and Vice President of the United States. Before the mistake was corrected, George and Neal passed a series of laws t... Read More

 

P & VP - Ah... Couldn't've been any worse than the Bush years.


Tags: 1943(2) 2008(6) george w. bush(5) government(16) holidays(8) laws(10) politics(9)
Names Mentioned: george w. bush(4)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 111/2914
Added: 04/09/2009

 

PDD Reactor

In 2068 George and Neal invented the PDD Reactor, a source of nearly endless energy. It converts Poopy Disposable Diapers into highly efficient energy. Unfortunately, when they invented the PDD Reactor there was no such thing as disposable diapers. S... Read More

Tags: 1950(3) 2068(3) energy(6) inventions(47) poop(7)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 113/2329
Added: 04/10/2009

 

Bum Ba Bum, Ba Bum Bum...

In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as s... Read More

 

Bum Ba Bum, Ba Bum Bum... - Don't let their looks fool you; George and Neal were the brains and muscle in this outfit.


Tags: 1972(3) a-team(2) crimes & scams(16) government(16) kicking ass(16)
Names Mentioned: a-team(3) los angeles(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 133/3185
Added: 04/11/2009

 

Rudolph: The Origin

In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape attempt did not work, as Neal's brain got stuck somewhere in his nasal cavity, causing Neal's nose t... Read More

Tags: 1938(1) 2009(21) body parts(14) holidays(8) inspirations(19) origin(24) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: robert l. may(1) rudolph the red-nosed reindeer(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 126/4635
Added: 04/12/2009

 

KISS

George and Neal were once part of the rock band KISS, but left the band in 1974 because they didn't think makeup of a raccoon and chimp respectively was cool enough. They also tried to convince Peter Criss to come with, but he seemed to like the cat ... Read More

Tags: 1974(6) 1980(4) 1994(4) celebrities(69) george's fashion sense(12) music(25) neal's fashion sense(20) our bands(8)
Names Mentioned: kiss(2) peter criss(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 155/5217
Added: 04/13/2009

 

Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)...

George was originally cast in the lead role as Michael Knight for the 1980's TV series Knight Rider, however due to conflicting interests (George was in the process of developing an actual artificial intelligence for a car, as well as a "human-like o... Read More

 

Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)... - Above: what could have been.... But for the conflict of interest, George would have taken the role of Michael Knight, and would have went on to star in Baywatch, and sung arguably acceptable quality rock songs as the Berlin Wall came down. Hasselhoff, on the other hand, would have gone on to star in hundreds of adult films, including "Degradation She Wrote", "Smoke the Bandit", and "Not So Different Strokes". The jury is still out as to which would have been a better reality.


Tags: 1980s(7) art is art(10) celebrities(69) inspirations(19) knight rider(2) neal's fashion sense(20) scantily clad people(15) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: baywatch(1) berlin(1) david hasselhoff(2) dracula(2) knight rider(2) sesame street(3)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 155/7313
Added: 04/14/2009

 

Sinatra Sluggers

In 1970, Neal and George went back in time to punch Frank Sinatra in the gut. Not because we had anything against Frank Sinatra per se, but rather because as George put it, "hey, we have a time machine, wouldn't that be just awesome to do?" To which ... Read More

Tags: 1970(1) celebrities(69) music(25) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) revenge(6) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: frank sinatra(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 811/5007
Added: 04/15/2009

 

Just Good Ol' Boys

In 1982 Neal and George played the roles of Coy and Vance respectively when John Schneider and Tom Wopat (Bo and Luke) walked off the set of the Dukes of Hazzard due to salary and royalty disputes. Coy and Vance's appearance was a huge hit with fans ... Read More

 

Just Good Ol' Boys - In addition to the outrageous sums of money Neal and George were demanding, the network just couldn't justify changing the name of the General Lee. They don't know what they were missing...


Tags: 1982(5) celebrities(69) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: bo duke(1) coy duke(1) dukes of hazzard(1) general lee(1) john schneider(1) luke duke(1) tom wopat(1) vance duke(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 146/5228
Added: 04/16/2009

 

Lavender, Lavender Everywhere

In 2013, Neal and George totally negated existence as a result of a time paradox created by the two. In 2015, Neal and George totally fixed the problem. But... how could that possibly have happened, if they negated existence? My head hurts. Oh, also,... Read More

 

Lavender, Lavender Everywhere - Taken in 2014, right in the middle of the period when existence was negated. Yup, the absence of everything is lavender colored.


Tags: 2013(7) 2015(9) discombobulation(4) oops(16) prehistoric(6)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 184/3123
Added: 04/17/2009

 

Chainsaw Wielding Raccoons

In 1974 George and Neal prevented a hostile takeover of the US by an army of chainsaw wielding raccoons. We did this by training squirrels to use nail guns to take out the raccoons. Unfortunately the squirrels got too sure of themselves and started t... Read More

Tags: 1974(6) kicking ass(16) peanuts(6) raccoons(3) sciuridaetopia(3) squirrels(3)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 130/2717
Added: 04/18/2009

 

Neal's On Wheels

(Ahem). In 2040, Neal offered a new service to the general public, wherein he would transport people on his back while riding on roller skates. He called it "Neal's On Wheels". Not to be outdone, George provided a service wherein he hid food all over... Read More

 

Neal's On Wheels - Sure they look cute, but when you have thousands of these little guys trying to cross Lake Shore Drive it tends to get messy... Cabbies don't like to stop.


Tags: 2040(4) business ventures(43) chicago(10) food(44) lawsuits(13) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 414/6224
Added: 04/19/2009

 

Phhhhlbtttt!!!

In 1927 there were actually 14 months to the year. Elevember came after December and Simbulary came after April. Earth revolved around the sun a bit slower than it does now. But during beta testing of the whoopee cushion, George and Neal accidentally... Read More

Tags: 1927(3) calendars(4) inventions(47) science(28)
Names Mentioned: whoopee cushion(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 187/2765
Added: 04/21/2009



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