The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!
Part 3
109 Entries on This Page
President Obama's Education Recovery Effort
In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up. Students are required to pass annual standardized tests in four categories: Historical Events, Bus... Read More
Added: 09/08/2009
Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy
In 2004, George and Neal publish their educational children's book, "Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy". The book was a hit, especially in the "Males, ages 13-18" demographic. There was much praise. And lawsuits. Lots ... Read More
Added: 09/13/2009
Chicken To Ride - And Other Classics Done Right
In 2012 George and Neal recorded an album of cover songs, except instead of the actual lyrics we sang the lyrics that everyone thinks the original artists were singing. Neal's rendition of Jimmi Hendrix's Purple Haze was an instant hit ('Scuse me whi... Read More
Added: 09/13/2009
Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce
In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superior Rottercola came out, which was far, far tastier and 1800% more likely to cause cavities.) to make ... Read More
Added: 09/18/2009
Make the Trains Run on Thyme
Mussolini got his idea to tell everyone that he made the trains run on time after George and Neal invented a train that ran on thyme (Benito simply misunderstood us, but recognized a good idea when he heard one). We also invented a car that ran on or... Read More
Added: 09/18/2009
Bob, I miss my testicles, you jerk!
In 1988, George and Neal created cats and dogs with opposable thumbs and above-average intellects. Everyone was thrilled with the evolutionary jump - well, everyone except Bob Barker, who received copious amounts of angry letters from the critters. G... Read More
Added: 09/28/2009
Max Headroom
Since 1986, every Friday evening, on odd numbered days, in years with digits that add up to 3 or 8, George and Neal hang out with Max Headroom. Un-un-unfortunately the stutters and low resolution imaging tend to stick- tend to stick- stick- stick- wi... Read More
Added: 09/28/2009
Huh huh huh, you said 'deep'...
On May 11, 1997, "Deep Blue", a chess-playing computer developed by IBM, won a six-game match by two wins to one with three draws against world champion Garry Kasparov. George believed he do could much better than Kasparov, and challenged the compute... Read More
Added: 09/29/2009
Lady Gaga vs P!nk
In 2011 the debate over which female music artist was the craziest resulted in a UFC cage match between Lady Gaga and P!nk. The match lasted 12 hours before a strung out old skank arrived, bitch slapped both girls, flashed the crowd, and passed out. ... Read More
Views: 676/9139
Added: 09/29/2009
The Recession: The Origin
In 2003, becoming increasingly paranoid that officials at the Pentagon were conspiring against him, George W. Bush asked that George and Neal create the Hexagon, a secret governmental branch whose sole purpose was only to monitor the Pentagon. Later,... Read More
Added: 10/01/2009
Poor, poor Clem...
These used to be "The Grand Saga of George, Neal, and Clem's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!" but at some point, due to a glitch in the time machine or teleportation device, Clem ceased to exist. There is absolutely no record of Clem... Read More
Views: 310/5287
Added: 10/01/2009
On Online Dating
After the success of online dating websites such as "Eharmony" and "J-Date" (a social/dating website for Jewish people), George and Neal created their own dating websites, including: - "Hey-Hey-Hey" Date, the world's largest singles network for those... Read More
Views: 336/12001
Added: 10/04/2009
GONADS
In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device takes prenatal learning programs (like Lullabelly, Bellysonic and FirstSounds) one step further and i... Read More
Added: 10/04/2009
Nobel Peace Prize
In 1980, when George and Neal were both 2 years old, they were given the Nobel Peace Prize as a result of older George and Neal traveling back in time and telling the Nobel Peace Prize officials about all of the great things they would do in a few de... Read More
Added: 10/04/2009
Search Engine Search Engine (no, we didn't stutter)
By 2040, the number of internet search engines were so voluminous and staggering (including Infoseek, Lycos, Yahoo, Google, Magellan, AltaVista, Ask Jeeves, Ask.com, Goodsearch, SearchMe, Wheresthatdangwebsite.com and 150 million others) that George ... Read More
Added: 10/10/2009
America's Run Out of Talent
By 2012 NBC was having trouble finding people for its hit show "America's Got Talent". So they created a sequel, which George and Neal tried out for in 2013. Unfortunately they didn't make it past the first round of voting in "America's Run Out of Ta... Read More
Added: 10/10/2009
Zoo Trip Time Machine
In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done that sooner. So they jumped in the time machine and got their families together for a trip to the zo... Read More
Added: 10/24/2009
People Against Kneeling
In October 2009, Neal was kidnapped by the group, People Against Kneeling (or PAK; male members are known as PAK-Men and those married to PAK-Men may still retain their "Ms." nomenclature). Neal was abducted solely because his name could be construed... Read More
Added: 11/19/2009
Two Seamstresses, One Thimble
In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral video, "Two Seamstresses, One Thimble."
Added: 11/19/2009
Happy Apocalypse Eve!
On December 20, 2012 George and Neal discovered that the world was not in fact ending, according to previous beliefs based on the Mayan calendar. Rather, all that was needed was to turn the calendar upside down and it would work for another 5126 year... Read More
Added: 11/19/2009
George's Ghastly Spell and the Toothless Fairy
For four years (1995 - 1999) George filled in for the Boogie Man while he was on sabbatical. Those exceptionally productive years are affectionately known as "George's Ghastly Spell" by Boogie Man aficionados. Neal spent the same time period imperson... Read More
Added: 11/19/2009
Horton Hears A Gremlin
In the early 2000's, George and Neal were hired by FOX studios to pitch movie ideas. Given their many adventures, you'd think they would have a wealth of ideas for hit movies. As it turns out, they did not. Instead, George and Neal decided to follow ... Read More
Added: 12/02/2009
Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution
In 1981 George founded the Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution (M.U.T.E.); the most prestigious school of ventriloquism, and the only one to offer a full range of degrees and certifications, including the esteemed Pu.D. (Doctorate of Puppetry... Read More
Added: 12/02/2009
Apples freakin' hurt.
After hearing that Isaac Newton once disparaged Neal's great-great-great-great Grandfather's honor, George and Neal went back to 1666, and chucked an apple at his head. Incidentally, this led to the discovery of gravity by the somewhat confused scien... Read More
Added: 12/10/2009
Love those Anne Geddes baby-flower costumes.
For some unknown reason Japanese people like to take photographs of George. Only Neal likes to take photos of Neal, in those Anne Geddes baby-flower costumes. Please don't ask Neal about it. It's really just a comfort thing. And really, who are you t... Read More
Added: 12/10/2009
Couch Potatoes Illustrated
Hearing about the steep decline in readers for magazines such as Sports Illustrated and Men's Health, George and Neal decided to start their own magazine to capture those increasingly less-active readers. In December, 2009, George and Neal started th... Read More
Added: 12/10/2009
Documentaries
Throughout the years George and Neal have helped create several famous documentaries, including Gheorghe Marinescu's "The walking troubles of organic hemiplegy" and "The walking troubles of organic paraplegies"; Edward S. Curtis's "In the Land of the... Read More
Added: 12/10/2009
Nobody does the weather like Neal (and that's a good thing).
In 2023 George and Neal each got jobs as meteorologists for competing local Chicago VV stations (VV will be the replacement for TV in the future). Both made the promise to their stations that within the first year they would be able to refine their t... Read More
Added: 01/29/2010
Restraining Orders Suck
Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawed; so, to eliminate as much Awesomeness!™ as possible, George and Neal were ordered to keep away fro... Read More
Added: 01/29/2010
Snoutbook
In the latter half of the middle third of the eighth month of 2010 George and Neal started a new social networking site dedicated solely to the most technologically neglected members of our families. By 2011 Snoutbook boasted nearly 150 million membe... Read More
Views: 300/5092
Added: 01/29/2010
Just don't use it on your clothes, please.
In 2048, Neal claimed to invent an invisibility potion, and thereafter used the potion to open up many financially successful invisible zoos. George later discovered that Neal didn't devise any invisibility potion, but rather created an elaborate and... Read More
Added: 08/09/2010
SUPER POWERS
In 1975 a hiccup in the Teleportation Device George and Neal use to travel instantaneously across huge distances caused them to swap realities with alternate versions of themselves that came from a parallel universe where everyone has what we would c... Read More
Added: 08/09/2010
Everything is About George
After a heated debate with his wife where she stated, "Everything is not always about you, George!", George went back in time (just prior to the beginning of that conversation), and invented a ray that temporarily made it so that anything and everyth... Read More
Added: 08/09/2010
Olympic Snowball
In 2022, at George and Neal's insistence (ok, it was actually persistence - we agreed to finally stop whining about it if the IOC included it - we can be very persuasive) Snowball Fights became an Olympic sport. USA won the first two Olympics with th... Read More
Added: 08/09/2010
Cheese Eatin' Bears
In 1919 George and Neal started raising a sleuth of bears that would eat only cheese. For quite a while this was pretty useless, but it came in very handy in 2011 when the Chicago Bears met the Green Bay Packers for the NFC championship.
Views: 459/6790
Added: 01/19/2011
Studio Carrum Ccohortis
After extensive research for 23 years, George and Neal released the results of their Studio Carrum Ccohortis project. They discovered a very complex formula for determining the winners of any given sporting event. Careful comparison between two teams... Read More
Added: 01/24/2011
They're Not Imaginary Afterall
Between January 2111 and August 2121 George and Neal set out on a quest to discover as many creatures generally thought to be imaginary as possible. Over their 10 year hunt they proved the existence of unicorns, pixies, trolls, harpies, thunderbirds,... Read More
Added: 11/11/2011
The Idiots Guide To Circumcision
In 1995, George and Neal published the first ever "Idiots Guide To..." book under the pseudonyms "Astronauts Thomas D. Jones, Ph.D. and Michael Benson", respectively. Unfortunately, it was only after printing 10,000 copies that they realized there w... Read More
Added: 08/24/2012
Someday...
The current world-record for an individual procrastinating on a project is 78 years, 8 months, 4 days, 16 hours, 12 minutes, and 31 seconds. George and Neal would like to someday beat that record, but they haven't gotten around to it yet.
Added: 08/25/2012
Aracauna Flu
In 2068 George and Neal accidentally engineered a new strain of the flu virus, called Aracauna Flu, and then subsequently became the first people to catch the traumatic, but nonfatal disease. The symptoms of Aracauna Flu are much more uncomfortable t... Read More
Views: 314/8679
Added: 08/25/2012
Nealocrats and Georgicans
In 2034, as a result of their love of George and Neal, America did away with their bipartisan political landscape, replacing it with a more unified governmental system known as Neorgitarians. But by 2035, the unification was no more - the group had ... Read More
Views: 342/3223
Added: 08/25/2012
Pluto's back, and it's pissed...
Starting in 2115 George and Neal started sending weekly weight gain supplements and steroids to the Dwarf Planet Pluto. By 2194 Pluto had gained enough mass to achieve orbital dominance, thus re-establishing it in its rightful place as the 9th Planet... Read More
Views: 406/3432
Added: 08/25/2012
Nanas & Tiaras
Sickened by the inappropriate nature of the popular show "Toddlers & Tiaras", in 2018 George and Neal created a much more family-friendly rival show, "Nanas & Tiaras".
Added: 08/25/2012
Hungry Eyes
In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was initiated by the split with Greyhound Lines (yes, the bus company - he really likes vehicles named afte... Read More
Added: 08/25/2012
Welcome aboard Adin!
In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and adventures. George and Neal were readily willing to include him in their time-travel and general awes... Read More
Added: 08/26/2012
Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend
In 2022 Neal was having a mid-life crisis and had decided to head to Vegas to gamble his life savings away. George joined him thinking it would be a great opportunity to film a documentary. George recorded Neal's obsessive gambling (slots, blackjack,... Read More
Added: 08/26/2012
Going all Einstein on your mouth...
In order to celebrate his genius, George and Neal went back in time to 1952 to meet Albert Einstein. Rather than being interested in scientific breakthroughs and new physics concepts of the new millennium, Einstein wished only to learn of our current... Read More
Added: 08/26/2012
Paper Product Hoarders
In 1994 George began his extensive napkin collection. He collected paper cafeteria napkins and stored them in school lockers around the world. Around the same time Neal started his grand toilet paper collection, storing incredible amounts of toilet... Read More
Added: 08/26/2012
Welcome Back Potter
Overwhelmed by the success of the Harry Potter franchise (books, movies, games, cereals, tampons, etc.) and eager to revive the 1970's sitcoms, in 2009 George and Neal created the show, "Welcome Back Potter." It was an instant success, if you measur... Read More
Added: 08/27/2012
2012 Advent Calendars
In 2012 George and Neal began marketing their line of 2012 Advent Calendars. They were inspired by the Mayan calendar, so they only went up to the 21st of December.
Added: 08/27/2012
Sleep Sleep Revolution
Hoping to get in on the "full body motion" video games made popular by the Wii and XBox Kinect, George and Neal invented "Sleep Sleep Revolution." Sales were sluggish, likely because the target demographic was too lazy to venture out to buy a copy.
Added: 08/27/2012
Westboro Baptist Church
In 2013, in an attempt to connect with the average American, Westboro Baptist Church contacted Neal and George for their advice. We recommended they reach the American public through food. In early 2014 the church released their Westboro Bun Sized ... Read More
Added: 08/27/2012
The 3 Stooges: The Origin
In 1933, Columbia's "3 Nice Regular Guys" premiered, starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and George Jaros. The three produced 25 eight-to-twelve minute shorts, wherein the three gentlemen treated each other with utmost respect and kindness. Much of th... Read More
Added: 08/28/2012
Nealotards
For six years, from 2021 to 2027 Neal tried very hard to get the world to pick up male-leotards as the latest fashion trend (he called them Nealotards). Those are known as the "Twenty Twenty Dark Ages" because not only did it occur during the 2020's,... Read More
Added: 08/28/2012
Chronal Warriors George
With the success of Hasbro's Transformers and G.I. Joe toy lines, rival toy company Tonka sought to create their own action figure toy lines. After achieving limited success with the Gobots, in 1985, Tonka execs approached George and Neal in an effo... Read More
Views: 411/9233
Added: 09/01/2012
...and over and over and over...
In 2036 George and Neal started one of the most aggressive research studies into ESP and telepathy (prophecy wasn't included since we already had our time machine and didn't need to know the future). The study was proceeding very well, with huge lea... Read More
Added: 09/01/2012
Keeping Kosher
Neal enjoys eating pickled pig snouts, but only if they're Kosher. George enjoys eating all the foods his wife won't let him eat.
Added: 09/01/2012
Clint Ain't Wacko!
In August 2012, Clint Eastwood was thought to have embarrassed himself at the Republican National Convention by pretending to argue with an invisible President Obama, when in actuality he was merely talking with an empty chair. Most of the world cut... Read More
Added: 09/09/2012
Welcome aboard Sam!
In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make pottery. So George signed him up for the Fall 1987 pottery classes at Sunny Caverns Park District (... Read More
Added: 09/09/2012
3014 Was Weird
In 3014, feeling melancholy as a result of a worldwide illness that removed the human eye's ability to detect a significant amount of electromagnetic radiation on the visible spectrum (the R and the G were notably absent, leaving only the B - which a... Read More
Added: 09/23/2012
Golden Spleens
In 4539 George and Neal decided to dabble in alchemy and turned themselves into golden statues. Luckily the effects were only temporary and by 5935 they were restored to their normal selves. Except for their spleens, which went on to have songs and... Read More
Views: 2462/5413
Added: 09/23/2012
That Bastard Chuck Norris
In 2077 George and Neal revolutionized the mathematical world when they discovered a method of dividing by zero. Yes, Chuck Norris did it first, but he was unwilling to share his ability with others, selfish bastard.
Added: 09/23/2012
History came alive, boy howdy!
This wasn't the first time that George and Neal had a monumental impact on the mathematical world. In 2012, while bored one weekend, they decided to become experts in astrophysics, physics, and a host of other scientific topics. Along the way, they... Read More
Added: 09/24/2012
Family Week
In September 2012 George took a short break from time travelling, changing history, and altering the laws of physics to spend some more time with his family. On September 3rd he showed the boys how to distort spacial dimensions to grow and shrink at... Read More
Views: 307/13657
Added: 09/24/2012
George Neal
In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or George watched the 1986 Jeff Goldblum film, The Fly, which illuminated the dangers of teleportation. ... Read More
Added: 09/24/2012
Johnson & Johnson's in Rock & Roll
During their chronal adventures, Neal and George discovered a deep, dark secret of the music industry. Apparently for years the Johnson & Johnson company has been clandestinely influencing some of Rock & Roll's greatest artists. George and Neal wer... Read More
Added: 09/24/2012
Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016
Exhausted with the mean-spirited nature of recent presidential elections as well as the inability of presidents to follow through on campaign promises, George and Neal decided to run for president in 2016. Problems quickly arose when the two could no... Read More
Added: 10/18/2012
Pleasurebots V.6 - Fabio-Bot
Neal can believe it's not butter. George hasn't made up his mind yet. But both Neal and George can't believe Fabio will have his consciousness downloaded into a Pleasurebot V6 in 2021, making us totally rethink the name of that invention.
Added: 10/18/2012
What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece.
Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While the women were gone, George and Neal successfully fended for themselves and the kids, subsisting on... Read More
Added: 10/20/2012
Unintelligent Design
In 2111 George and Neal made waves in the ongoing debate on Evolution vs. Creationism with a new theory of Unintelligent Design, which states that a divine slacker left a bottle of spoiled miracle milk in a great cosmic refrigerator for too long, and... Read More
Added: 10/20/2012
Where did 'C' go?
Unfortunately, sometimes George and Neal's time (mis)adventures cause unforeseeable consequences. For example, in 1978, the letter/sound "c" was eliminated. As a result, people drove ars, threw things using the atapult and Neal's wife was renamed "... Read More
Added: 10/22/2012
A and E: The Origin
However, other times, George and Neal's time (mis)adventures really benefited world languages. For example, in 1232 Neal invented the letter A and George invented the letter E. Until that time A and E were sometimes replaced with I and U respective... Read More
Added: 10/22/2012
Cow Experimentation
In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high intelligence. As a result, George and Neal became strict vegetarians, and hid the nation's beef. Thi... Read More
Added: 10/22/2012
Apollo 19
In July 1972 George and Neal were members of the Apollo 19 mission to the moon. After landing in the Hyginus Rille region-Linear Rille, crater area. We were part of a team that explored a clutch of crashed extraterrestrial vehicles, several large egg... Read More
Views: 302/5787
Added: 10/22/2012
Luckily for cats, this was a very short period.
During the brief period where George and Neal were not awesome (see www.george-and-neal-are-not-awesome.info), they invented Cat Baseball. It... did not end well.
Views: 314/7489
Added: 02/11/2013
The Bucket List
In 1994 George and Neal decided that, although they had had many adventures and experienced some really amazing things that most other people can't even imagine, there were still some things they would like to do before they kick the bucket. So they... Read More
Views: 314/5845
Added: 02/11/2013
It Hood Ats Fla Was
In 2014, George decided that he could make a better dictation-to-text program than what was currently available (such as Dragon Dictation and Apple's Siri). Although the program was widely adopted as a result of George and Neal's popularity, it was ... Read More
Added: 02/12/2013
To boldly go...
Unbeknownst to most people, the original Star Trek series was actually a documentary series about George and Neal's adventures. Captain Kirk and his crew were part of a film crew charged with a 5 year mission to explore planets and civilizations tha... Read More
Views: 918/10509
Added: 02/12/2013
Kick-Ball Ball-Kick
Striking a blow for ball rights everywhere (Editor's note: I'm not touching that one - literally or figuratively), in 1973, George and Neal created the first kickball that could kick back. Although the game became much more challenging, it also beca... Read More
Views: 371/4742
Added: 02/20/2013
The Damnation that was Smurfs
In 2099 scientists astounded the world by developing genetically engineered little blue creatures that wore nothing but white pants and hats. OK, so those scientists were George and Neal. What can we say, we loved the Smurfs. Unfortunately these o... Read More
Added: 02/20/2013
Rhymes with 'Orange'
Upon hearing that no word in the English language rhymed with "orange," in 1986, George invented the word "sporange" just so one would exist. Years later, its definition still remains a mystery (although curiously, three people have thus far been con... Read More
Added: 03/22/2013
We'll never learn...
In 2059, George and Neal did some other awesome stuff, and one thing they are both not very proud of. It involved a tray of ice, a can of motor oil, and an industrial-sized stapler. Either they did this twice or they didn't learn the first time, or m... Read More
Added: 03/22/2013
They like us, they REALLY like us!
Somehow, a tribute video was found in 1035 A.D. Weird... The video is a collection of photos from some of George and Neal's greatest achievements, set to a song that sounds remarkably like Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You". Awwww, how touching... Read More
Added: 03/23/2013
Mace, the other Dark Side
Darth Vader was not Luke's father. A paternity test by Maury Povich revealed to Vader that "You are NOT the father!". After checking six other potential candidates, including Obi-wan Kenobi, Emperor Palpatine, Bail Organa, Lando Calrissian, Command... Read More
Added: 04/11/2013
Swingin' Records!
In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship (1985), "Who Let the Dogs Out?" by Baha Boys (2000), and "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka (19... Read More
Added: 04/19/2013
The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland)
In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they gave up. But with the rise of Nazi Germany there came a renewed interest in flying porcupines, or Fl... Read More
Added: 04/19/2013
Presidential Fight Club
In 1947, Neal convinced Governor Thomas E. Dewey not to run for president, but rather to run as Neal's Vice President. George, hearing of this, was insulted Neal did not ask him to run as Neal's VP. In retaliation, George convinced Harry Truman to ... Read More
Added: 08/23/2013
We went fishing and all we caught was awful...
In 1976 George and Neal went fishing. All they caught was a cold, the flu, pneumonia, and scarlet fever. But luckily the lake they were fishing on had a catch and release policy.
Added: 08/23/2013
Rue Bourbon is Distracting
In 2069 George and Neal wrote a musical, called "Home to Where the Sun Rises". The smash hit spent four years on Broadway before touring the world. As of 2162 it has sold out more shows than "Cats", "Phantom", "Les Mis", "Gigli on Broadway", and "... Read More
Added: 08/23/2013
Role Playing, SFW-style
In 2013, Neal introduced George to the role-playing game, Dungeons and Dragons. George thought it was fantastic, as it blended his love of story telling, games, and sexy goblins. However, both Neal and George found the game's storylines much too v... Read More
Added: 09/24/2013
The Fashionably Endangered Rosea Zebra
In the 1980s George and Neal discovered the rare Rosea Zebra, or Pink Zebra. These zebras are native to just a very small part of Africa and their discovery led to a dramatic increase in popularity of pink zebra print fashions. Today Pink Zebras ar... Read More
Added: 09/24/2013
The Extreme-est of Makeovers
Tired of trying to do fifteen things at once but failing miserably (well, failing miserably at four, failing happily at six, performing moderately at nine, and skillfully completing three tasks - wait, is my math correct? Uh... I'm not good at non-... Read More
Added: 09/30/2013
Lego Prison
In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators to make it illegal to vacuum up any Lego blocks. Their bill was easily passed into law mostly becaus... Read More
Added: 09/30/2013
The only way to beat a hipster is to become one. Or hit them with a heavy object.
Tired of hipsters telling everyone "I liked that band before they were cool," George and Neal did them one better, going back in time and befriending many rock stars long before they were famous (sometimes immediately after they were born).... Read More
Added: 10/01/2013
George let the dogs out!
In 1998 George let the dogs out, but he let them back in as soon as they were finished doing their duty. Anslem Douglas didn't believe him though and kept giving him the third degree. He even got the Baha Men to start pestering George. C'mon guys,... Read More
Added: 10/01/2013
Heavy Petting
In 1975, Gary Dahl became a millionaire virtually overnight when he invented the "pet rock." He marketed it as the perfect pet - one that did not need to be fed, walked, groomed or bathed. Ignoring this selling point and wanting in on the action, G... Read More
Added: 10/01/2013
Joy to Everyone!
In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make Christmas snow globes that featured a nativity scene and played "Joy to the World" while the snow swi... Read More
Added: 10/01/2013
Hair Raising Adventure
George and Neal are heavily involved in charity work. For example, during November 1990, they both participated in "No Shave November" (a.k.a. Movember). Wisely, they went from century to century, building a pledge base that spanned hundreds of yea... Read More
Added: 11/21/2013
Skullets Rock!
In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick tried, but after a few months Patrick decided the mowhawk wasn't an edgy enough hair and it was time... Read More
Added: 11/21/2013
It's Magically Disgusting!
On April 12, 2012, the matching game, Candy Crush, was released on Facebook. Less than one year later, Candy Crush became the most popular game on Facebook, with 46 million monthly users. Most people do not realize that this is simply a rip-off of ... Read More
Added: 11/30/2013
Yes, they really said that.
In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly travelling back in time and stalking people until they said something profound (or not so much as the cas... Read More
Added: 11/30/2013
Happy Chomp-akah
Wanting to "shake things up" for the next Hanukah, in 2013 Neal invented "Tleg", the exact opposite of Gelt - chocolate on the outside, gold foil on the inside. It was as good one would expect.
Added: 12/05/2013
He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!'
The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police box (their Rock Smoothie Machine looks more like a port-a-potty), they aren't time lords from anothe... Read More
Added: 12/05/2013
Those Look Like Comfortable Shoes
In 1937, scientist Daniel Bovet created the first antihistamine to combat allergies. Flash forward forty years later, to 1977 - another allergy-related breakthrough: George and Neal create the Ah-Ah-Shoe!, the first antihistamine-laced shoe which th... Read More
Added: 12/08/2013
Need More Conventions!!!
By 2031 there were so many comic conventions and expos (including Comic-Con, WizCon, APE, C2E2, WonderCon, Comikaze, C4, MegaCon, Sac-Con, Pros & Con, Com-Con-Chameleon, Thimblecon, thousands of local comic conventions, and many more) that George and... Read More
Added: 12/08/2013
Joanie Loves Churros
In 1978 a temporary glitch in George and Neal's Time Machine (well, not so much a glitch as Neal spilling a tub of Tang drink mix onto the controls - you'd think a time machine originally designed for making smoothies would be more resilient) caused ... Read More
Added: 03/28/2014
Monkey Back Guarantee!
In 2030, it became extremely fashionable to have a hairy back. To cash in on this trend, George and Neal created a lotion that would increase the hair on your back by 650%. They were so confident that the lotion would work that they offered a "monk... Read More
Added: 04/11/2014
Lava Lamps: The Origin
In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward Craven-Walker stole Neal's idea. Craven-Walker's variation was much more successful and in 1968 he... Read More
Added: 04/11/2014
Like a Boss
Tired of all the speculation, George went back to 1984 and showed the world who was the boss. It was George.
Added: 04/11/2014
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The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.
So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).
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Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.
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