The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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Part 3

109 Entries on This Page


President Obama's Education Recovery Effort

In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up. Students are required to pass annual standardized tests in four categories: Historical Events, Bus... Read More


President Obama's Education Recovery Effort - This was an answer key for the 6th grade multiple choice section. Whoo Hoo! We like patterns! Also notice that you no longer have the choices of A-B-C-D-E. In keeping with George & Neal are Awesome tradition, your options on the multiple choice section are G-J-N-S-!

Tags: 2010(16) britain(9) business ventures(46) celebrities(69) education(9) government(16) historic events(18) inventions(49) laws(10) obama(4)
Names Mentioned: america(8) barack obama(4) britain(8)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 1037/11340
Added: 09/08/2009


Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy

In 2004, George and Neal publish their educational children's book, "Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy". The book was a hit, especially in the "Males, ages 13-18" demographic. There was much praise. And lawsuits. Lots ... Read More


Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy - Above: Mandatory curriculum in President Obama's Education Recovery Effort.

Tags: 2004(3) education(9) lawsuits(13) obama(4) publications(14) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: barack obama(4) harold and the purple crayon(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 878/7400
Added: 09/13/2009


Chicken To Ride - And Other Classics Done Right

In 2012 George and Neal recorded an album of cover songs, except instead of the actual lyrics we sang the lyrics that everyone thinks the original artists were singing. Neal's rendition of Jimmi Hendrix's Purple Haze was an instant hit ('Scuse me whi... Read More


Chicken To Ride - And Other Classics Done Right - We're getting ready to release the second album, entitled "Shamu the Mysterious Whale: The Songs of U2".

Tags: 2012(14) art is art(10) celebrities(69) music(26) our bands(9) politics(9)
Names Mentioned: art garfunkel(1) beatles(4) cheerios(1) creedence clearwater revival(1) elvis presley(1) frank sinatra(2) glen miller(2) jimmi hendrix(2) judy garland(1) larry craig(1) led zepplin(1) madonna(1) nine inch nails(2) nirvana(2) paul simon(2) queen(1) rem(1) shamu(1) simon & garfunkel(1) u2(1) wizard of oz(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 362/20285
Added: 09/13/2009


Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce

In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superior Rottercola came out, which was far, far tastier and 1800% more likely to cause cavities.) to make ... Read More

Tags: 2008(6) 2009(21) 3041(1) business ventures(46) economy(8) food(45) inventions(49) jaguanst(8) mashups(12) recipes(10) that's what she said(6)
Names Mentioned: dr. pepper(2) mountain dew(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 1587/10065
Added: 09/18/2009


Make the Trains Run on Thyme

Mussolini got his idea to tell everyone that he made the trains run on time after George and Neal invented a train that ran on thyme (Benito simply misunderstood us, but recognized a good idea when he heard one). We also invented a car that ran on or... Read More

Tags: food(45) inspirations(19) inventions(49) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: benito mussolini(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 324/6286
Added: 09/18/2009


Bob, I miss my testicles, you jerk!

In 1988, George and Neal created cats and dogs with opposable thumbs and above-average intellects. Everyone was thrilled with the evolutionary jump - well, everyone except Bob Barker, who received copious amounts of angry letters from the critters. G... Read More

Tags: 1988(6) body parts(14) cats(8) celebrities(69) save the aminals(7)
Names Mentioned: bob barker(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 307/9457
Added: 09/28/2009


Max Headroom

Since 1986, every Friday evening, on odd numbered days, in years with digits that add up to 3 or 8, George and Neal hang out with Max Headroom. Un-un-unfortunately the stutters and low resolution imaging tend to stick- tend to stick- stick- stick- wi... Read More


Max Headroom - Usually we'd just end up watching TV shows Max was able to tap into (skipping over all those annoying blipverts, of course - no heads exploding here).

Tags: 1986(8) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: max headroom(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 278/3931
Added: 09/28/2009


Huh huh huh, you said 'deep'...

On May 11, 1997, "Deep Blue", a chess-playing computer developed by IBM, won a six-game match by two wins to one with three draws against world champion Garry Kasparov. George believed he do could much better than Kasparov, and challenged the compute... Read More

Tags: 1997(6) celebrities(69) games(15) kicking ass(16) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13)
Names Mentioned: garry kasparov(1) ibm(1) ultimate fighting championship(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 331/6513
Added: 09/29/2009


Lady Gaga vs P!nk

In 2011 the debate over which female music artist was the craziest resulted in a UFC cage match between Lady Gaga and P!nk. The match lasted 12 hours before a strung out old skank arrived, bitch slapped both girls, flashed the crowd, and passed out. ... Read More


Lady Gaga vs P!nk - This may have been the strangest UFC match ever aired, even stranger than George's battle with Deep Blue or Neal's fight against that octopus.

Tags: 2011(8) celebrities(69) kicking ass(16) music(26) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13)
Names Mentioned: courtney love(1) lady gaga(1) p!nk(1) ultimate fighting championship(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 694/9316
Added: 09/29/2009


The Recession: The Origin

In 2003, becoming increasingly paranoid that officials at the Pentagon were conspiring against him, George W. Bush asked that George and Neal create the Hexagon, a secret governmental branch whose sole purpose was only to monitor the Pentagon. Later,... Read More

Tags: 2003(3) economy(8) george w. bush(5) government(16) origin(24)
Names Mentioned: america(8) george w. bush(4)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 566/5160
Added: 10/01/2009


Poor, poor Clem...

These used to be "The Grand Saga of George, Neal, and Clem's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!" but at some point, due to a glitch in the time machine or teleportation device, Clem ceased to exist. There is absolutely no record of Clem... Read More


Poor, poor Clem... - On second thought, maybe this WILL be "The Grand Saga of George, Neal, and Clem's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!"... Regardless, we have no idea who Clem is or will be and no recollection of this photograph ever being taken, even though Neal and George each have a copy that they carry with them in their wallets.

Tags: etymology(4) forget this ever happened(9) teleportation(10) time machine(37)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 320/5390
Added: 10/01/2009


On Online Dating

After the success of online dating websites such as "Eharmony" and "J-Date" (a social/dating website for Jewish people), George and Neal created their own dating websites, including: - "Hey-Hey-Hey" Date, the world's largest singles network for those... Read More


On Online Dating - Meat someone with similar tastes as you, or your neighbor, or the neighbor's dog...

Tags: diseases(9) jewish(6) nicknames(14) relationships(6) tv shows(49) websites(7) zombies(21)
Names Mentioned: dwayne clemens nelson(1) eharmony(1) j-date(1) what's happening(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 350/12228
Added: 10/04/2009



In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device takes prenatal learning programs (like Lullabelly, Bellysonic and FirstSounds) one step further and i... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) 2010(16) business ventures(46) clarissa(6) genetics(16) inventions(49) julie(5) offspring(13) relationships(6) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: bellysonic(1) donkey kong(1) firstsounds(1) lullabelly(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 382/11495
Added: 10/04/2009


Nobel Peace Prize

In 1980, when George and Neal were both 2 years old, they were given the Nobel Peace Prize as a result of older George and Neal traveling back in time and telling the Nobel Peace Prize officials about all of the great things they would do in a few de... Read More

Tags: 1980(4) awards and recognition(12)
Names Mentioned: nobel peace prize(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 264/2508
Added: 10/04/2009


Search Engine Search Engine (no, we didn't stutter)

By 2040, the number of internet search engines were so voluminous and staggering (including Infoseek, Lycos, Yahoo, Google, Magellan, AltaVista, Ask Jeeves,, Goodsearch, SearchMe, and 150 million others) that George ... Read More

Tags: 2040(4) business ventures(46) inventions(49) websites(7)
Names Mentioned: altavista(1) ask jeeves(1) goodsearch(1) google(1) infoseek(1) lycos(1) magellan(1) searchme(1) yahoo(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 352/10546
Added: 10/10/2009


America's Run Out of Talent

By 2012 NBC was having trouble finding people for its hit show "America's Got Talent". So they created a sequel, which George and Neal tried out for in 2013. Unfortunately they didn't make it past the first round of voting in "America's Run Out of Ta... Read More


America's Run Out of Talent - George & Neal's performance of their short play, "Vegetables vs Knights" spurred a standing ovation, weeping in the audience, and rave reviews. However, they were asked to leave the show because their level of talent was just over the allowed threshold.

Tags: 2012(14) 2013(7) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: america's got talent(1) nbc(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 271/13429
Added: 10/10/2009


Zoo Trip Time Machine

In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done that sooner. So they jumped in the time machine and got their families together for a trip to the zo... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) 2010(16) gimme a break(5) offspring(13) time machine(37) wives(15)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 319/5526
Added: 10/24/2009


People Against Kneeling

In October 2009, Neal was kidnapped by the group, People Against Kneeling (or PAK; male members are known as PAK-Men and those married to PAK-Men may still retain their "Ms." nomenclature). Neal was abducted solely because his name could be construed... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) organizations(15)
Names Mentioned: pac-man(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 316/3900
Added: 11/19/2009


Two Seamstresses, One Thimble

In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral video, "Two Seamstresses, One Thimble."

Tags: 1878(1) movies(41) people of history(33) scantily clad people(15) thimbles(2) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: eadweard muybridge(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 567/6106
Added: 11/19/2009


Happy Apocalypse Eve!

On December 20, 2012 George and Neal discovered that the world was not in fact ending, according to previous beliefs based on the Mayan calendar. Rather, all that was needed was to turn the calendar upside down and it would work for another 5126 year... Read More


Happy Apocalypse Eve! - Flipping the Mayan calendar was pretty easy, thanks to our super strength. Besides, we had flipped the universe once, what's a big rock?

Tags: 2012(14) amazing abilities(16) apocalypse(3) mayans(2) you're welcome(2)
Names Mentioned: mayan indians(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 291/10429
Added: 11/19/2009


George's Ghastly Spell and the Toothless Fairy

For four years (1995 - 1999) George filled in for the Boogie Man while he was on sabbatical. Those exceptionally productive years are affectionately known as "George's Ghastly Spell" by Boogie Man aficionados. Neal spent the same time period imperson... Read More

Tags: 1995(2) 1999(3) kicking ass(16) mythological critters(7) nicknames(14)
Names Mentioned: boogie man(1) tooth fairy(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 315/4788
Added: 11/19/2009


Horton Hears A Gremlin

In the early 2000's, George and Neal were hired by FOX studios to pitch movie ideas. Given their many adventures, you'd think they would have a wealth of ideas for hit movies. As it turns out, they did not. Instead, George and Neal decided to follow ... Read More


Horton Hears A Gremlin - Though the movie holds an 86% on, the novelization is far superior, as it includes emotionally resonant subtext completely absent in the movie.


Aliens versus Peanuts - The kids made fun of Linus constantly, but at least the Great Pumpkin didn't have two sets of teeth and an appetite for human flesh.

Tags: 2000s(2) art is art(10) mashups(12) movies(41) peanuts(6)
Names Mentioned: alien(2) alien vs predator(2) apocalypse now(1) blade runner(1) charlie brown(3) dr. seuss(2) fox(2) gremlins(1) horton hears a who(1) linus(1) neverending story(2) peanuts(1) that was then this is now(1) wizard of oz(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)
Views: 369/11564
Added: 12/02/2009


Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution

In 1981 George founded the Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution (M.U.T.E.); the most prestigious school of ventriloquism, and the only one to offer a full range of degrees and certifications, including the esteemed Pu.D. (Doctorate of Puppetry... Read More


Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution - Neal with the first, and only, group of officers for the Disparate Union of Mumbling Mannequins and Inanimate Entertainment Sycophants (D.U.M.M.I.E.S.). On the plus side, before the union was dissolved, Neal was able to buy a used 1975 Trabant from the guy at the bottom left in the hat with the black band.

Tags: 1981(4) education(9) organizations(15)
Names Mentioned: trabant(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 424/3962
Added: 12/02/2009


Apples freakin' hurt.

After hearing that Isaac Newton once disparaged Neal's great-great-great-great Grandfather's honor, George and Neal went back to 1666, and chucked an apple at his head. Incidentally, this led to the discovery of gravity by the somewhat confused scien... Read More

Tags: 1666(1) inspirations(19) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) people of history(33) science(28)
Names Mentioned: isaac newton(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 289/6926
Added: 12/10/2009


Love those Anne Geddes baby-flower costumes.

For some unknown reason Japanese people like to take photographs of George. Only Neal likes to take photos of Neal, in those Anne Geddes baby-flower costumes. Please don't ask Neal about it. It's really just a comfort thing. And really, who are you t... Read More

Tags: neal's fashion sense(21) we don't get it either(3)
Names Mentioned: anne geddes(1) japan(2)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration
Views: 322/4048
Added: 12/10/2009


Couch Potatoes Illustrated

Hearing about the steep decline in readers for magazines such as Sports Illustrated and Men's Health, George and Neal decided to start their own magazine to capture those increasingly less-active readers. In December, 2009, George and Neal started th... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) business ventures(46) failures(22) publications(14) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Names Mentioned: doritos(1) sports illustrated(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 305/5043
Added: 12/10/2009



Throughout the years George and Neal have helped create several famous documentaries, including Gheorghe Marinescu's "The walking troubles of organic hemiplegy" and "The walking troubles of organic paraplegies"; Edward S. Curtis's "In the Land of the... Read More

Tags: celebrities(69) education(9) movies(41) people of history(33) robots(7)
Names Mentioned: edward s. curtis(1) gheorghe marinescu(1) james cameron(1) michael moore(1) robert j. flaherty(1) william shakespeare(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 326/8780
Added: 12/10/2009


Nobody does the weather like Neal (and that's a good thing).

In 2023 George and Neal each got jobs as meteorologists for competing local Chicago VV stations (VV will be the replacement for TV in the future). Both made the promise to their stations that within the first year they would be able to refine their t... Read More


Nobody does the weather like Neal (and that's a good thing). - Neal never took his meteorologist job seriously. This was one of the tamer weather systems he had fun with. You should see what he can do with a tropical depression.  Also note that Chicago will be moved and become the entire state of Ohio.

Tags: 2023(2) chicago(10) phallus(8) time machine(37) tv shows(49) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) ohio(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 313/7618
Added: 01/29/2010


Restraining Orders Suck

Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawed; so, to eliminate as much Awesomeness!™ as possible, George and Neal were ordered to keep away fro... Read More

Tags: .424 bce(1) 2056(2) 2058(2) 2059(3) animals(17) business ventures(46) education(9) food(45) gimme a break(5) government(16) laws(10) mashups(12) music(26) people of history(33) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: persia(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 359/11517
Added: 01/29/2010



In the latter half of the middle third of the eighth month of 2010 George and Neal started a new social networking site dedicated solely to the most technologically neglected members of our families. By 2011 Snoutbook boasted nearly 150 million membe... Read More


Snoutbook - Snoutbook gives dogs everywhere the opportunity to do something other than lick their crotches to pass the time. But Snoutbook isn't just for dogs! Cats, horses, ferrets, gerbils, wombats, or any other critter is welcome to join the world's fastest growing social networking site.

Tags: 2010(16) 2011(8) animals(17) facebook(10)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9) farmville(1) mafia wars(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 315/5189
Added: 01/29/2010


Just don't use it on your clothes, please.

In 2048, Neal claimed to invent an invisibility potion, and thereafter used the potion to open up many financially successful invisible zoos. George later discovered that Neal didn't devise any invisibility potion, but rather created an elaborate and... Read More


Just don't use it on your clothes, please. - Neal relaxes with a delicious invisible Dr. Pepper. (Now with even less calories than Diet Dr. Pepper!)

Tags: 2048(1) business ventures(46) crimes & scams(16) inventions(49) jaguanst(8)
Names Mentioned: dr. pepper(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 283/5479
Added: 08/09/2010



In 1975 a hiccup in the Teleportation Device George and Neal use to travel instantaneously across huge distances caused them to swap realities with alternate versions of themselves that came from a parallel universe where everyone has what we would c... Read More


SUPER POWERS - SUPER George working his day job as a pizza delivery man. He saved thousands from hunger by delivering pizza to the bad neighborhoods that other pizza delivery guys were afraid to traverse. Just one of SUPER George's many heroic deeds during his tenure in this reality.

Tags: 1975(2) 1977(2) 1984(10) business ventures(46) science(28) super heroes(3) teleportation(10) you're welcome(2)
Names Mentioned: monty python's flying circus(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 376/7291
Added: 08/09/2010


Everything is About George

After a heated debate with his wife where she stated, "Everything is not always about you, George!", George went back in time (just prior to the beginning of that conversation), and invented a ray that temporarily made it so that anything and everyth... Read More

Tags: nicknames(14) people of history(33) time machine(37) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: george takei(1) george washington(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 319/9344
Added: 08/09/2010


Olympic Snowball

In 2022, at George and Neal's insistence (ok, it was actually persistence - we agreed to finally stop whining about it if the IOC included it - we can be very persuasive) Snowball Fights became an Olympic sport. USA won the first two Olympics with th... Read More


Olympic Snowball - Members of the 2030 Canadian Snowball Team deftly dodging a barrage of snow from the signature move, Holy White Fury, of the Vatican team.


Lose the loincloth please... - Neal preparing to sling a whopper at Flu Pou Tou Eue, the captain of the Chinese team, in 2056. Neal claimed the extra weight gave him an advantage, but we think he just liked eating too much mud. And he never had an excuse for the loincloth...

Tags: 2022(4) 2023(2) 2026(2) 2040(4) 2041(2) 2044(1) 2056(2) awards and recognition(12) christian(8) neal's fashion sense(21) politics(9) sports(24) things neal eats(9) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: canada(4) china(3) democratic party(1) ghana(1) olympics(3) republican party(1) vatican(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 883/10872
Added: 08/09/2010


Cheese Eatin' Bears

In 1919 George and Neal started raising a sleuth of bears that would eat only cheese. For quite a while this was pretty useless, but it came in very handy in 2011 when the Chicago Bears met the Green Bay Packers for the NFC championship.


Cheese Eatin'  Bears - One of George and Neal's cheese eating bears preparing to devour its catch of the day. These bears live in Illinois, but forage for food north of the border.

Tags: 1919(1) 2011(8) animals(17) chicago(10) sports(24)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) chicago bears(1) green bay packers(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 480/6932
Added: 01/19/2011


Studio Carrum Ccohortis

After extensive research for 23 years, George and Neal released the results of their Studio Carrum Ccohortis project. They discovered a very complex formula for determining the winners of any given sporting event. Careful comparison between two teams... Read More

Tags: oops(16) science(28) sports(24)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 393/4214
Added: 01/24/2011


They're Not Imaginary Afterall

Between January 2111 and August 2121 George and Neal set out on a quest to discover as many creatures generally thought to be imaginary as possible. Over their 10 year hunt they proved the existence of unicorns, pixies, trolls, harpies, thunderbirds,... Read More


They're Not Imaginary Afterall - Over the course of 10 years Neal tried lots of different ways of attracting the elusive unicorn. The big question isn't why he tried out this costume, but why he didn't stop wearing it after we found a unicorn.

Tags: 2111(2) 2121(3) celebrities(69) mythological critters(7) neal's fashion sense(21)
Names Mentioned: gary busey(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 649/7388
Added: 11/11/2011


The Idiots Guide To Circumcision

In 1995, George and Neal published the first ever "Idiots Guide To..." book under the pseudonyms "Astronauts Thomas D. Jones, Ph.D. and Michael Benson", respectively. Unfortunately, it was only after printing 10,000 copies that they realized there w... Read More


The Idiots Guide To Circumcision - Upon reflection, we probably shouldn't have included a "Tips" section in each chapter.

Tags: jewish(6) nicknames(14) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: complete idiot's guide(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 323/7150
Added: 08/24/2012



The current world-record for an individual procrastinating on a project is 78 years, 8 months, 4 days, 16 hours, 12 minutes, and 31 seconds. George and Neal would like to someday beat that record, but they haven't gotten around to it yet.

Tags: procrastination(5) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 278/2216
Added: 08/25/2012


Aracauna Flu

In 2068 George and Neal accidentally engineered a new strain of the flu virus, called Aracauna Flu, and then subsequently became the first people to catch the traumatic, but nonfatal disease. The symptoms of Aracauna Flu are much more uncomfortable t... Read More


Aracauna Flu - It's a good thing we didn't run into Kenny Rogers. I mean, c'mon, look at those juicy breasts!

Tags: 2068(3) celebrities(69) chicken(2) diseases(9)
Names Mentioned: kenny rodger(1) kenny rodger roasters(1) malaysia(1) phillippines(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 335/8782
Added: 08/25/2012


Nealocrats and Georgicans

In 2034, as a result of their love of George and Neal, America did away with their bipartisan political landscape, replacing it with a more unified governmental system known as Neorgitarians. But by 2035, the unification was no more - the group had ... Read More


Nealocrats and Georgicans - Above: A Nealocrat attending a somber funeral. Most assuredly, this did not put the "fun" back in "funeral." It did, however, put the "uncomfortable" back in "uncomfortabuneral".

Tags: 2034(2) 2035(2) government(16) politics(9)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 355/3266
Added: 08/25/2012


Pluto's back, and it's pissed...

Starting in 2115 George and Neal started sending weekly weight gain supplements and steroids to the Dwarf Planet Pluto. By 2194 Pluto had gained enough mass to achieve orbital dominance, thus re-establishing it in its rightful place as the 9th Planet... Read More


Pluto's back, and it's pissed... - It was hard to see since the sun was so far away, but we're pretty sure Pluto had a red neck.

Tags: 2115(2) 2194(1) 2238(1) astronomy(8) kicking ass(16) rehab(3)
Names Mentioned: charon(1) pluto(1) solar system(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 421/3502
Added: 08/25/2012


Nanas & Tiaras

Sickened by the inappropriate nature of the popular show "Toddlers & Tiaras", in 2018 George and Neal created a much more family-friendly rival show, "Nanas & Tiaras".


Nanas & Tiaras - CBS dubbed it their "hottest program of the summer". Unfortunately for the viewing public, it was a very accurate statement.

Tags: 2018(4) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: toddlers & tiaras(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 336/3602
Added: 08/25/2012


Hungry Eyes

In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was initiated by the split with Greyhound Lines (yes, the bus company - he really likes vehicles named afte... Read More


Hungry Eyes - Luckily the teleportation device replaced all George's body parts in their proper locations before he needed to eat a meal. That would have looked pretty nasty.

Tags: 1987(7) body parts(14) celebrities(69) chicago(10) inspirations(19) movies(41) music(26) neal funk(18) teleportation(10)
Names Mentioned: arizona(1) chicago(14) dallas(1) dial corporation(1) dirty dancing(1) eleanor bergstein(1) franke previte(1) greyhound lines(1) john denicola(1) phoenix(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 408/13887
Added: 08/25/2012


Welcome aboard Adin!

In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and adventures. George and Neal were readily willing to include him in their time-travel and general awes... Read More


Welcome aboard Adin! - After seeing this, Marlboro approached Adin to be the sponsor of their kid line of cigarettes. Adin thankfully refused, but liked their pitch of "Sharkboy, the 21st century Cowboy".


My Pet Mrrrggghghh - Mrrrggghghh's gift to the couple, a severed head, was, predictably, not appreciated.

Tags: 2012(14) 2080(1) 3087(1) amazing abilities(16) animals(17) offspring(13) time machine(37) zombies(21)
Names Mentioned: cerberus(1) hercules(1) marlboro(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)
Views: 344/13254
Added: 08/26/2012


Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend

In 2022 Neal was having a mid-life crisis and had decided to head to Vegas to gamble his life savings away. George joined him thinking it would be a great opportunity to film a documentary. George recorded Neal's obsessive gambling (slots, blackjack,... Read More


Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend - It is suspected that this movie's Academy Award wasn't the result of the heartwarming, incredible story of Neal's Keno winnings, but rather the fact that George narrated the whole thing while breathing massive quantities of helium. Also the narration had nothing to do with the movie, but was just George reading from The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

Tags: 2022(4) 2030(3) celebrities(69) games(15) movies(41) music(26) scantily clad people(15) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: academy awards(2) las vegas(1) mirage hotel and casino(1) weird al yankovic(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 464/10507
Added: 08/26/2012


Going all Einstein on your mouth...

In order to celebrate his genius, George and Neal went back in time to 1952 to meet Albert Einstein. Rather than being interested in scientific breakthroughs and new physics concepts of the new millennium, Einstein wished only to learn of our current... Read More


Going all Einstein on your mouth... - According to Einstein, "Ziss vas vorth de infection."

Tags: 1952(3) einstein(3) george's fashion sense(13) inspirations(19) neal's fashion sense(21) science(28)
Names Mentioned: albert einstein(4)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 398/6255
Added: 08/26/2012


Paper Product Hoarders

In 1994 George began his extensive napkin collection. He collected paper cafeteria napkins and stored them in school lockers around the world. Around the same time Neal started his grand toilet paper collection, storing incredible amounts of toilet... Read More


Paper Product Hoarders - The school administration didn't know whether they should laugh or cry. Ironically, if they did cry, they had no tissues whatsoever for their tears.

Tags: 1994(4) education(9) neal funk(18) poop(7)
Names Mentioned: cincinnati(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 329/3179
Added: 08/26/2012


Welcome Back Potter

Overwhelmed by the success of the Harry Potter franchise (books, movies, games, cereals, tampons, etc.) and eager to revive the 1970's sitcoms, in 2009 George and Neal created the show, "Welcome Back Potter." It was an instant success, if you measur... Read More


Welcome Back Potter - Above: promotional photograph for "Harry Potter and the Unruly Sweathogs".

Tags: 1970s(3) 2009(21) mashups(12) movies(41) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: Harry Potter(8) welcome back kotter(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 378/5843
Added: 08/27/2012


2012 Advent Calendars

In 2012 George and Neal began marketing their line of 2012 Advent Calendars. They were inspired by the Mayan calendar, so they only went up to the 21st of December.


2012 Advent Calendars - Luckily we didn't discover how to avoid the 12/21/2012 apocalypse until after we had made millions from the sales of the calendars.

Tags: 2012(14) apocalypse(3) calendars(4) holidays(8) mayans(2)
Names Mentioned: mayan indians(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 302/10897
Added: 08/27/2012


Sleep Sleep Revolution

Hoping to get in on the "full body motion" video games made popular by the Wii and XBox Kinect, George and Neal invented "Sleep Sleep Revolution." Sales were sluggish, likely because the target demographic was too lazy to venture out to buy a copy.


Sleep Sleep Revolution - "So warm... So cozy... So inviting.... ARE YOU UP TO THE CHALLENGE???"

Tags: inventions(49) movies(41) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: dance dance revolution(1) xbox kinect(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 327/4800
Added: 08/27/2012


Westboro Baptist Church

In 2013, in an attempt to connect with the average American, Westboro Baptist Church contacted Neal and George for their advice. We recommended they reach the American public through food. In early 2014 the church released their Westboro Bun Sized ... Read More


Westboro Baptist Church - Ingredients include: Beef, Hypocrisy, Water, Salt, Corn Syrup, Dextrose, Mustard, Natural Flavorings (including Brimstone, Hellfire, and Natural Smoke) and Coloring (but not Black, Yellow, Brown or Red), Garlic Juice (Garlic Juice, Salt), Sodium Erythorbate, Sodium Nitrite, Extractives of Paprika, Sheep Casing. We suspect the beef was from a golden calf.

Tags: 2013(7) 2014(7) business ventures(46) Food(45) religion(11) westboro baptist church(2)
Names Mentioned: westboro baptist church(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 330/7027
Added: 08/27/2012


The 3 Stooges: The Origin

In 1933, Columbia's "3 Nice Regular Guys" premiered, starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and George Jaros. The three produced 25 eight-to-twelve minute shorts, wherein the three gentlemen treated each other with utmost respect and kindness. Much of th... Read More


The 3 Stooges: The Origin - "The 3 Gentlemen," just moments before George's pain brought happiness to so many.

Tags: 1933(1) celebrities(69) origin(24) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) people of history(33) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: columbia pictures(1) curly howard(1) jerry horwitz(1) larry fine(1) louis feinberg(1) moe howard(1) moses horwitz(1) three stooges(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 311/11169
Added: 08/28/2012



For six years, from 2021 to 2027 Neal tried very hard to get the world to pick up male-leotards as the latest fashion trend (he called them Nealotards). Those are known as the "Twenty Twenty Dark Ages" because not only did it occur during the 2020's,... Read More


Nealotards - Once you've seen it you can't un-see it.

Tags: 2020s(1) 2021(3) 2022(4) 2027(1) lawsuits(13) Neal's Fashion Sense(21) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: 20/20(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 330/7359
Added: 08/28/2012


Chronal Warriors George

With the success of Hasbro's Transformers and G.I. Joe toy lines, rival toy company Tonka sought to create their own action figure toy lines. After achieving limited success with the Gobots, in 1985, Tonka execs approached George and Neal in an effo... Read More


Chronal Warriors George - This limited edition George figure sells for more today than your child's entire college education. Either is just as likely to get your kid a job in this economy.


Chronal Warriors Neal - Tonka's 15th generation toy line included this toy, "Library Attending Neal."


Grabbin' my Neal and George - Still from the CLIO award-winning but unfortunately titled commercial, "Grabbin' my Neal and George".

Tags: 1985(4) action figures(2) business ventures(46) economy(8) nicknames(14) toys(3)
Names Mentioned: clio awards(1) g i joe(1) gobots(1) hasbro(1) tonka(1) transformers(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)
Views: 422/9443
Added: 09/01/2012


...and over and over and over...

In 2036 George and Neal started one of the most aggressive research studies into ESP and telepathy (prophecy wasn't included since we already had our time machine and didn't need to know the future). The study was proceeding very well, with huge lea... Read More

Tags: 2036(2) 2037(1) music(26) oops(16) science(28)
Names Mentioned: ides of march(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 364/7184
Added: 09/01/2012


Keeping Kosher

Neal enjoys eating pickled pig snouts, but only if they're Kosher. George enjoys eating all the foods his wife won't let him eat.


Keeping Kosher - Rabbi Rosenberg's Kosher Pickled Pigs Feet can be found in the eternal damnation section of most grocery stores, next to Cardinal O'Leary's D'Licious Friday Lenten Pickled Tripe, which coincidentally is just down from the Westboro Bun Size Wieners.

Tags: christian(8) food(45) jewish(6) religion(11) westboro baptist church(2)
Names Mentioned: westboro baptist church(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 492/4767
Added: 09/01/2012


Clint Ain't Wacko!

In August 2012, Clint Eastwood was thought to have embarrassed himself at the Republican National Convention by pretending to argue with an invisible President Obama, when in actuality he was merely talking with an empty chair. Most of the world cut... Read More


Clint Ain't Wacko! - Despite being invisible, Neal frustrated many by continually asking how his hair was.

Tags: 2012(14) celebrities(69) discombobulation(4) neal's fashion sense(21) obama(4) politics(9)
Names Mentioned: barack obama(4) clint eastwood(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 339/16619
Added: 09/09/2012


Welcome aboard Sam!

In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make pottery. So George signed him up for the Fall 1987 pottery classes at Sunny Caverns Park District (... Read More


Welcome aboard Sam! - When he was done it walked like a duck, swam like a duck, and quacked like a duck. Unfortunately it still broke like a ceramic pot.


Welcome aboard Mike! - And Mike even gave Usain Bolt a 10 meter head start!

Tags: 1987(7) 2012(14) amazing abilities(16) art is art(10) celebrities(69) offspring(13) sports(24)
Names Mentioned: olympics(3) usain bolt(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 386/17058
Added: 09/09/2012


3014 Was Weird

In 3014, feeling melancholy as a result of a worldwide illness that removed the human eye's ability to detect a significant amount of electromagnetic radiation on the visible spectrum (the R and the G were notably absent, leaving only the B - which a... Read More


3014 Was Weird - Psychological torture was never so much fun!


One Flew Over the...  Mousetrap? - I'm fairly positive they literally just repackaged the game Mouse Trap.


Eeew.... - The directions require you to take at least two showers after playing.


The Game of (Our) Life - The girl on the left is mere moments away from a total mental meltdown.

Tags: 1975(2) 2012(14) 3014(2) celebrities(69) diseases(9) games(15) movies(41)
Names Mentioned: magic mike(1) michael bay(1) one flew over the cuckoo's nest(1) sophie's choice(1) vincent van gogh(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (4)
Views: 374/17901
Added: 09/23/2012


Golden Spleens

In 4539 George and Neal decided to dabble in alchemy and turned themselves into golden statues. Luckily the effects were only temporary and by 5935 they were restored to their normal selves. Except for their spleens, which went on to have songs and... Read More


Golden Spleens - George's spleen, pictured above, was pretty laid back and didn't let fame and fortune spoil its relaxed attitude.


The Spleen Rebels - Neal's spleen, however, took the first opportunity it got to leave its happy, comfy home in Neal's abdomen...


Disco Spleen! - ...and hit the night clubs, impressing the ladies, and neglecting its blood scrubbing duties. Lucky for Neal, the spleen is a non-vital organ (but don't tell the spleens that).

Tags: 4539(1) 5935(1) body parts(14) music(26) science(28)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (3)
Views: 2529/5512
Added: 09/23/2012


That Bastard Chuck Norris

In 2077 George and Neal revolutionized the mathematical world when they discovered a method of dividing by zero. Yes, Chuck Norris did it first, but he was unwilling to share his ability with others, selfish bastard.

Tags: 2077(1) amazing abilities(16) celebrities(69) mathematics(2)
Names Mentioned: chuck norris(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 343/5687
Added: 09/23/2012


History came alive, boy howdy!

This wasn't the first time that George and Neal had a monumental impact on the mathematical world. In 2012, while bored one weekend, they decided to become experts in astrophysics, physics, and a host of other scientific topics. Along the way, they... Read More

Tags: 2011(8) 2012(14) calendars(4) historic events(18) mathematics(2) science(28)
Names Mentioned: sudan(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 300/11727
Added: 09/24/2012


Family Week

In September 2012 George took a short break from time travelling, changing history, and altering the laws of physics to spend some more time with his family. On September 3rd he showed the boys how to distort spacial dimensions to grow and shrink at... Read More


Family Week - Sam had been wishing to be bigger for a long time. Now, with his new knowledge on dimensional disruption it's only a matter of time before he decides to crush Tokyo.


Hipster Flying - Unfortunately, a few minutes after this picture was taken the wind let up and those hipsters made a pretty ironic splat.

Tags: 2012(14) gimme a break(5) offspring(13) science(28) sports(24)
Names Mentioned: canada(4) mexico(2) tokyo(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 323/13807
Added: 09/24/2012


George Neal

In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or George watched the 1986 Jeff Goldblum film, The Fly, which illuminated the dangers of teleportation. ... Read More


George Neal - Voted sexiest man alive, 1821.

Tags: 1700s(1) 1912(1) 1986(8) 2029(2) britain(9) celebrities(69) christian(8) genetics(16) george funk(11) historic events(18) movies(41) neal funk(18) offspring(13) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) people of history(33) religion(11) teleportation(10) that's what she said(6) time machine(37) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) canada(4) george neal(1) jeff goldblum(1) lake erie(1) neil armstrong(1) ontario(1) rev. george neal hazen(1) scotland(3) south carolina(1) the fly(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 616/19772
Added: 09/24/2012


Johnson & Johnson's in Rock & Roll

During their chronal adventures, Neal and George discovered a deep, dark secret of the music industry. Apparently for years the Johnson & Johnson company has been clandestinely influencing some of Rock & Roll's greatest artists. George and Neal wer... Read More

Tags: 1998(9) 2010(16) 2014(7) celebrities(69) conspiracy theories(7) in good company(6) music(26)
Names Mentioned: acuvue(1) aerosmith(2) baltimora(1) band-aid(1) chris deburgh(1) dark side of the moon(1) devo(1) eric clapton(1) farm-aid(1) george hardie(1) h o r d e fest(1) johnson & johnson(1) lilith fair(1) lollapalooza(1) ozzy osbourne(2) pink floyd(2) sisqo(2) steven tyler(1) tylenol(1) woodstock(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 473/15273
Added: 09/24/2012


Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016

Exhausted with the mean-spirited nature of recent presidential elections as well as the inability of presidents to follow through on campaign promises, George and Neal decided to run for president in 2016. Problems quickly arose when the two could no... Read More


Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016 -


Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016 - These pins are considered extremely rare and valuable (by the insane).


2016 Presidential and Vice Presidential Debates - Neal's constant mugging was as arousing as it was distracting.

Tags: 1776(2) 1943(2) 2016(8) celebrities(69) competition(10) ducks(3) government(16) laws(10) movies(41) politics(9)
Names Mentioned: air force one(1) harrison ford(1) howard the duck(1) peter j. oberweis(1) ralph nader(1) ross perot(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)
Views: 409/14493
Added: 10/18/2012


Pleasurebots V.6 - Fabio-Bot

Neal can believe it's not butter. George hasn't made up his mind yet. But both Neal and George can't believe Fabio will have his consciousness downloaded into a Pleasurebot V6 in 2021, making us totally rethink the name of that invention.


Pleasurebots V.6 - Fabio-Bot - Now that is one sexy tub of butter substitute...

Tags: 2021(3) butter(1) fabio(1) pleasurebot(3) robots(7)
Names Mentioned: fabio(1) i can't believe it's not butter(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 332/4641
Added: 10/18/2012


What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece.

Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While the women were gone, George and Neal successfully fended for themselves and the kids, subsisting on... Read More


What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - This picture was the inspiration for both the 12 hour clock, and erotic cakes. I'm not really sure how that last one relates, but, eh, there you go.

Tags: 2012(14) 3014(2) clarissa(6) food(45) games(15) george funk(11) gimme a break(5) julie(5) neal funk(18) offspring(13) time machine(37) tv shows(49) wives(15) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: aphrodite(1) cnn(2) greece(2) hera(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 417/22572
Added: 10/20/2012


Unintelligent Design

In 2111 George and Neal made waves in the ongoing debate on Evolution vs. Creationism with a new theory of Unintelligent Design, which states that a divine slacker left a bottle of spoiled miracle milk in a great cosmic refrigerator for too long, and... Read More


Unintelligent Design - This is an actual photograph that Neal took of the beginning of the Universe. As the smell of curdled divine nectar wafted out of the open bottle, the lavender color of nothing gradually faded to the darkness of interstellar space.

Tags: 2111(2) astronomy(8) evolution(5) food(45) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Names Mentioned: earth(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 377/4195
Added: 10/20/2012


Where did 'C' go?

Unfortunately, sometimes George and Neal's time (mis)adventures cause unforeseeable consequences. For example, in 1978, the letter/sound "c" was eliminated. As a result, people drove ars, threw things using the atapult and Neal's wife was renamed "... Read More

Tags: 1978(5) languages(11) oops(16)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 315/6933
Added: 10/22/2012


A and E: The Origin

However, other times, George and Neal's time (mis)adventures really benefited world languages. For example, in 1232 Neal invented the letter A and George invented the letter E. Until that time A and E were sometimes replaced with I and U respective... Read More

Tags: languages(11) nicknames(14) origin(24) success!(13)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 296/5367
Added: 10/22/2012


Cow Experimentation

In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high intelligence. As a result, George and Neal became strict vegetarians, and hid the nation's beef. Thi... Read More

Tags: 1984(10) chickens(1) food(45) genetics(16) organizations(15) platypus(4) science(28) that's what she said(6) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: wendy's(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 1185/8372
Added: 10/22/2012


Apollo 19

In July 1972 George and Neal were members of the Apollo 19 mission to the moon. After landing in the Hyginus Rille region-Linear Rille, crater area. We were part of a team that explored a clutch of crashed extraterrestrial vehicles, several large egg... Read More


Apollo 19 - Houston, we have a nanu nanu.

Tags: 1972(3) 1978(5) aliens(5) astronomy(8) science(28) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: houston(1) hyginus rille region-linear rille(1) moon(1) mork and mindy(1) nasa(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 318/5909
Added: 10/22/2012


Luckily for cats, this was a very short period.

During the brief period where George and Neal were not awesome (see, they invented Cat Baseball. It... did not end well.


Luckily for cats, this was a very short period. - Gerbil Football proved much more popular.

Tags: baseball(1) cats(8) cute(2) failures(22) sports(24) websites(7)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 331/7636
Added: 02/11/2013


The Bucket List

In 1994 George and Neal decided that, although they had had many adventures and experienced some really amazing things that most other people can't even imagine, there were still some things they would like to do before they kick the bucket. So they... Read More


The Bucket List - It didn't take long for George to complete this list. His next list was a "Shovel List" and after that he tried a "Sh*t List", but that didn't turn out so well (the shovels and buckets came in handy though).


The Unfinished Bucket List - Oddly enough, Neal completed #9 before he completed #8. His neighbors were thankful, since there's no knowing where Neal's toes have been.

Tags: 1994(4) poop(7) procrastination(5) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Names Mentioned: cincinnati(2) international space station(1) ohio(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 328/5977
Added: 02/11/2013


It Hood Ats Fla Was

In 2014, George decided that he could make a better dictation-to-text program than what was currently available (such as Dragon Dictation and Apple's Siri). Although the program was widely adopted as a result of George and Neal's popularity, it was ... Read More

Tags: 2014(7) failures(22) in good company(6) inventions(49) languages(11)
Names Mentioned: apple computer corporation(3) dragon naturally speaking(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 368/6996
Added: 02/12/2013


To boldly go...

Unbeknownst to most people, the original Star Trek series was actually a documentary series about George and Neal's adventures. Captain Kirk and his crew were part of a film crew charged with a 5 year mission to explore planets and civilizations tha... Read More


To boldly go... - While sneaking on set to check out the progress of the documentary on planet Exo III, Neal was just a little too excited to see that Kirk had found his lost phallus.

Tags: 1960s(3) celebrities(69) phallus(8) science(28) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: james t kirk(1) star trek(2) William Shatner(8)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 935/10708
Added: 02/12/2013


Kick-Ball Ball-Kick

Striking a blow for ball rights everywhere (Editor's note: I'm not touching that one - literally or figuratively), in 1973, George and Neal created the first kickball that could kick back. Although the game became much more challenging, it also beca... Read More


Kick-Ball Ball-Kick - (The above image, "Kick-Ball Ball-Kick" courtesy of The Museum of Entirely Random Things, where their motto is, "Come for the pie, stay for the tire-irons.")

Tags: 1973(2) groin kick(3) inventions(49) kickball(1) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) sports(24)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 386/4841
Added: 02/20/2013


The Damnation that was Smurfs

In 2099 scientists astounded the world by developing genetically engineered little blue creatures that wore nothing but white pants and hats. OK, so those scientists were George and Neal. What can we say, we loved the Smurfs. Unfortunately these o... Read More


The Damnation that was Smurfs - Until these fiends evolved teeth, wiping out tickled quite a bit and was somewhat enjoyable, in an uncomfortable sort of way, which is exactly how Neal likes to be tickled.

Tags: 2099(1) 2100(1) 2148(1) 2165(1) diseases(9) genetics(16) organizations(15) smurfs(2) sports(24) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: atlantic ocean(2) earth(3) gargamel(2) olympics(3) smurfs(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 397/10156
Added: 02/20/2013


Rhymes with 'Orange'

Upon hearing that no word in the English language rhymed with "orange," in 1986, George invented the word "sporange" just so one would exist. Years later, its definition still remains a mystery (although curiously, three people have thus far been con... Read More

Tags: 1986(8) crimes & scams(16) food(45)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 291/3429
Added: 03/22/2013


We'll never learn...

In 2059, George and Neal did some other awesome stuff, and one thing they are both not very proud of. It involved a tray of ice, a can of motor oil, and an industrial-sized stapler. Either they did this twice or they didn't learn the first time, or m... Read More

Tags: 2059(3) forget this ever happened(9) stapler(3)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 269/2322
Added: 03/22/2013


They like us, they REALLY like us!

Somehow, a tribute video was found in 1035 A.D. Weird... The video is a collection of photos from some of George and Neal's greatest achievements, set to a song that sounds remarkably like Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You". Awwww, how touching... Read More

Tags: 1035(1) awards and recognition(12) celebrities(69) movies(41) music(26) videos(1)
Names Mentioned: Sarah McLachlan(1)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: George & Neal Collaboration (1)
Views: 314/10928
Added: 03/23/2013


Mace, the other Dark Side

Darth Vader was not Luke's father. A paternity test by Maury Povich revealed to Vader that "You are NOT the father!". After checking six other potential candidates, including Obi-wan Kenobi, Emperor Palpatine, Bail Organa, Lando Calrissian, Command... Read More


Mace, the other Dark Side - It's a good thing for Maury that all weapons are collected at the entrance to the television studio before tapings, a full-time job for his security, otherwise he'd have a purple lightsaber in a very uncomfortable place (and no, not like the back of a Volkswagen).

Tags: genetics(16) movies(41) star wars(7) who's your daddy(1)
Names Mentioned: Bail Organa(1) commander cody(1) commander cody and his lost planet airmen(1) darth vader(1) emperor palpatine(1) lando calrissian(1) mace windu(1) mallrats(1) maury povich(1) obi-wan kenobi(1) yoda(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 355/6881
Added: 04/11/2013


Swingin' Records!

In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship (1985), "Who Let the Dogs Out?" by Baha Boys (2000), and "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka (19... Read More


Swingin' Records! - Sorry, girls, they're married.

Tags: 1953(1) 1974(6) 1985(4) 2000(7) 2016(8) best album ever(1) celebrities(69) chart topping(4) get aural(2) great music(4) hot tunes(2) lawsuits(13) music(26) our bands(9) party like its 1999(2) record(1) trippy(1) we built this city on rock and roll(3) who let the dogs out(2) you're having my baby(1)
Names Mentioned: Baha Boys(2) jefferson starship(1) paul anka(1) president truman(2) prince(4) starship(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 464/16460
Added: 04/19/2013


The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland)

In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they gave up. But with the rise of Nazi Germany there came a renewed interest in flying porcupines, or Fl... Read More


The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland) - Too late George and Neal realized that they forgot to teach the porcupines how to land.  There were many civilian casualties when the flock of porcupines decided to try landing in one of those lazy river water parks, popping numerous inner tubes and causing general havoc.

Tags: 1921(2) 1939(1) 1945(2) alamogordo(1) animals(17) argonne(1) bedingungslose kapitulation der wehrmacht(1) britain(9) genetics(16) los alamos(1) manhattan project(1) oak ridge(1) secrets(4) that's what she said(6) wars(4)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) canada(4) germany(1) united states(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 623/8729
Added: 04/19/2013


Presidential Fight Club

In 1947, Neal convinced Governor Thomas E. Dewey not to run for president, but rather to run as Neal's Vice President. George, hearing of this, was insulted Neal did not ask him to run as Neal's VP. In retaliation, George convinced Harry Truman to ... Read More


Presidential Fight Club - As it should be.


The Jaros Strikes Back - A sad day in American history.


Paradoxes are Fun and Arousing - You have nothing to fear, except Nixon's left fist.


The Darkest Timeline - The Chicago Sun Times had the same title, but the caption read, "Nom nom nom!"  You'd think one of them would be more professional about the whole thing.

Tags: cap'n crunch has nothing to do with this entry(1) governor dewey(1) president truman(1) presidential fight club(1) the dewey show(1) time paradoxes are fun(4)
Names Mentioned: governor dewey(1) president truman(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (4)
Views: 439/7036
Added: 08/23/2013


We went fishing and all we caught was awful...

In 1976 George and Neal went fishing. All they caught was a cold, the flu, pneumonia, and scarlet fever. But luckily the lake they were fishing on had a catch and release policy.

Tags: 1976(1) diseases(9) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9) that's what she said(6)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 424/3076
Added: 08/23/2013


Rue Bourbon is Distracting

In 2069 George and Neal wrote a musical, called "Home to Where the Sun Rises". The smash hit spent four years on Broadway before touring the world. As of 2162 it has sold out more shows than "Cats", "Phantom", "Les Mis", "Gigli on Broadway", and "... Read More


Rue Bourbon is Distracting - Oddly enough the musical didn't play in New Orleans.  We were somehow distracted by Bourbon Street (Neal did manage to 'earn' quite a few beads though.)

Tags: 2069(1) 2162(1) brothel(2) chart topping(4) holidays(8) music(26) religion(11) theater(8)
Names Mentioned: broadway(3) cats(1) gigli(1) house of the rising sun(1) les mis(1) new orleans(1) phantom(1) spamalot(1) the animals(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 1872/7933
Added: 08/23/2013


Role Playing, SFW-style

In 2013, Neal introduced George to the role-playing game, Dungeons and Dragons. George thought it was fantastic, as it blended his love of story telling, games, and sexy goblins. However, both Neal and George found the game's storylines much too v... Read More


Role Playing, SFW-style - The threat is mildly palpable.  And yummy.

Tags: AD&D(1) advanced dungeons and dragons(1) atari(1) attack mace(1) ben & jerry's(1) charisma points(2) d&d(1) e.t.(1) gary gygax(1) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(8) pauly shore(1) zoos and farm animals(2)
Names Mentioned: e.t.(1) gary gygax(1) pauly shore(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 292/5823
Added: 09/24/2013


The Fashionably Endangered Rosea Zebra

In the 1980s George and Neal discovered the rare Rosea Zebra, or Pink Zebra. These zebras are native to just a very small part of Africa and their discovery led to a dramatic increase in popularity of pink zebra print fashions. Today Pink Zebras ar... Read More


The Fashionably Endangered Rosea Zebra - We had nothing to do with the unfortunate domestication and mass farming of the now ubiquitous Fluorescent Spandex Cattle that resulted from the 80s fashion trends.

Tags: 1980s(7) 2000s(2) animals(17) extinction(4) george's fashion sense(13) Neal's Fashion Sense(21)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 920/4979
Added: 09/24/2013


The Extreme-est of Makeovers

Tired of trying to do fifteen things at once but failing miserably (well, failing miserably at four, failing happily at six, performing moderately at nine, and skillfully completing three tasks - wait, is my math correct? Uh... I'm not good at non-... Read More


The Extreme-est of Makeovers - Shortly after this photo was taken, George covered the song, "Two Heads Are Better Than One" (from the Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure soundtrack - how's that for obscure?), failing to understand the fairly obvious inappropriate nature of the song.

Tags: chicken nuggets are yummy - that's not really relevant but it's still true(1) extreme makeover(2) reasons julie weeps(2) two heads are only slightly better than one(2)
Names Mentioned: bill s. preston esq.(1) Ted "Theodore" Logan(1) ted 'theodore' logan(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 318/6873
Added: 09/30/2013


Lego Prison

In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators to make it illegal to vacuum up any Lego blocks. Their bill was easily passed into law mostly becaus... Read More


Lego Prison - Jail time wasn't so bad for George.  He smuggled in one of those tools that let you take apart stuck Legos and then spent most of the 18 months hanging out with Barbie.

Tags: 1948(3) 1950(3) 2012(14) 2013(7) clarissa(6) julie(5) laws(10) neal funk(18) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) toys(3) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: barbie(2) lego(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 1042/16001
Added: 09/30/2013


The only way to beat a hipster is to become one. Or hit them with a heavy object.

Tired of hipsters telling everyone "I liked that band before they were cool," George and Neal did them one better, going back in time and befriending many rock stars long before they were famous (sometimes immediately after they were born).... Read More


The only way to beat a hipster is to become one.  Or hit them with a heavy object. - George befriends a young Paul McCartney.  This moment later inspired the song, "Here Comes the Son."

Tags: can't take my eyes off of you(1) cool(3) enter sandman(1) good vibrations(2) habitat for inhumanity(1) hipsters(1) rock stars(3) smells like teen spirit(1) when doves cry(1) where have all the flowers gone?(1)
Names Mentioned: brian wilson(2) dave guard(1) frankie valli(1) james hetfield(1) kurt cobain(3) metallica(2) nirvana(2) paul mccartney(2) pink floyd(2) prince(4) roger waters(1) the beach boys(1) the kingston trio(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 321/7865
Added: 10/01/2013


George let the dogs out!

In 1998 George let the dogs out, but he let them back in as soon as they were finished doing their duty. Anslem Douglas didn't believe him though and kept giving him the third degree. He even got the Baha Men to start pestering George. C'mon guys,... Read More


George let the dogs out! - Here the dogs are out.


George let the dogs back in! - And see, they're back in now.  Now get off my case about it already!!!

Tags: 1998(9) animals(17) forget this ever happened(9) who let the dogs out(2)
Names Mentioned: anslem douglas(1) baha boys(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 280/3180
Added: 10/01/2013


Heavy Petting

In 1975, Gary Dahl became a millionaire virtually overnight when he invented the "pet rock." He marketed it as the perfect pet - one that did not need to be fed, walked, groomed or bathed. Ignoring this selling point and wanting in on the action, G... Read More


Heavy Petting - Doomed.

Tags: cats need food(1) cute(2) dead(1) mood rings(1) Pet Rocks(1) violent mood swing(1)
Names Mentioned: Gary Dahl(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 278/4472
Added: 10/01/2013


Joy to Everyone!

In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make Christmas snow globes that featured a nativity scene and played "Joy to the World" while the snow swi... Read More


Joy to Everyone! - It was an honest mistake since the snow globe doubled as a wine stopper and came with a bottle of Three Dog's Mighty Fine wine.

Tags: 2019(4) animals(17) business ventures(46) chart topping(4) christian(8) economy(8) failures(22) great music(4) holidays(8) hot tunes(2) oops(16) religion(11) rock stars(3) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: three dog night(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 358/8875
Added: 10/01/2013


Hair Raising Adventure

George and Neal are heavily involved in charity work. For example, during November 1990, they both participated in "No Shave November" (a.k.a. Movember). Wisely, they went from century to century, building a pledge base that spanned hundreds of yea... Read More


Hair Raising Adventure - Facial hair or no, cute kids, amiright?  It was so fortunate to catch the boys together between one of Sam's fishing trips and Mike's takeover of Stark Industries.


 - After growing this, Ayla had an unexplainable desire to tie helpless women up and leave them on train tracks, so that some superhero could save them at the last minute.


 - Since growing this, Adin has been offered four professor positions at well-respected colleges.  Little do most people know, that's all you really need.

Tags: charity(1) kids with beards(1) kids with mustaches(1) movember(1) no shave november(2) november 1990(1) november 2013(1) zz top's favorite charity(1)
Names Mentioned: zz top(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)
Views: 348/8154
Added: 11/21/2013


Skullets Rock!

In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick tried, but after a few months Patrick decided the mowhawk wasn't an edgy enough hair and it was time... Read More


Skullets Rock! - 'The Prime Directive is not just a set of rules; it is a philosophy ... and a very correct one. History has proven again and again that whenever mankind interferes with a less developed civilization, no matter how well intentioned that interference may be, the results are invariably disastrous, but not as disastrous as this hair cut.' - Jean Luc Picard'Messing with less developed civilizations is fun!' - George and Neal

Tags: 1983(6) 1984(10) 1987(7) celebrities(69) cool(3) evolution(5) extreme makeover(2) george's fashion sense(13) hair(12) in good company(6) kicking ass(16) movies(41) no shave november(2) people of history(33) tv shows(49) two heads are only slightly better than one(2)
Names Mentioned: dune(1) frank herbert(1) gurney halleck(1) jean luc picard(1) patrick stewart(1) robert h. justman(1) star trek(2) ucla(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 655/20444
Added: 11/21/2013


It's Magically Disgusting!

On April 12, 2012, the matching game, Candy Crush, was released on Facebook. Less than one year later, Candy Crush became the most popular game on Facebook, with 46 million monthly users. Most people do not realize that this is simply a rip-off of ... Read More


It's Magically Disgusting! - It was no surprise to anyone that a matching game involving an animal's stomach (containing a sheep's heart, liver and lungs, minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt) would be so much fun!


 - All the excitement of a trash compactor, in 8-bit glory!

Tags: $633k per day is proof we are all idiots(1) 1982(5) 2010(16) 2012(14) bejeweled(1) best colecovision game ever(1) candy crush(3) facebook(10) haggis crush(1) i first typed ios app sore and that made me laugh for some reason(1) ios app store(1) orange crush crush(1) rip-offs(3) the simpsons already did it(1) vajazzled(3)
Names Mentioned: bejeweled(1) candy crush(1) coleco(1) colecovision(1) facebook(9) ios store(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)
Views: 403/15230
Added: 11/30/2013


Yes, they really said that.

In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly travelling back in time and stalking people until they said something profound (or not so much as the cas... Read More


Yes, they really said that. - Volume 1 had over 1000 pages.  Volume 2 had 1200 pages.  Volume 3 had nearly 1500 pages.  Unfortunately 3400 of the 3700 pages were blank.

Tags: 2024(1) bette midler(4) cool(3) einstein(3) in good company(6) Inspirations(19) mental trauma(8) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(8) people of history(33) publications(14) revenge(6) rip-offs(3) rock stars(3) success!(13) time machine(37) we don't get it either(3)
Names Mentioned: abraham lincoln(2) alan alda(1) albert einstein(4) bette midler(5) bob dylan(1) camille paglia(1) carl sagan(1) cleopatra(2) colonel sanders(1) dom deluise(1) gandhi(1) george a. custer(1) j. s. bach(1) joan of ard(1) napoleon bonaparte(1) ozzy osborne(1) queen elizabeth ii(1) salvador dali(1) steven king(1) william wallace(1) wolfgang amadeus mozart(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 430/16928
Added: 11/30/2013


Happy Chomp-akah

Wanting to "shake things up" for the next Hanukah, in 2013 Neal invented "Tleg", the exact opposite of Gelt - chocolate on the outside, gold foil on the inside. It was as good one would expect.


Happy Chomp-akah - "It's.. deliciously...painful..."

Tags: 2013(7) chanakah(1) chanananananaukah(1) chanukah(1) chanukkah(1) gelt(1) gold tastes bad(1) hanukah(1) hanukkah(1) holidays(8) jewish(6) recipes(10) religion(11) things neal eats(9) tleg(1)
Names Mentioned: adin simon(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 402/5264
Added: 12/05/2013


He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!'

The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police box (their Rock Smoothie Machine looks more like a port-a-potty), they aren't time lords from anothe... Read More


He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!' - The Time Machine on a relaxing jaunt to pre-Ice Age Siberia.  Or was it Serbia?  Or Suburbia?

Tags: doctor who(1) gallifrey(1) nicknames(14) rip-offs(3) smoothies(7) they stole our ideas(7) time machine(37) tv shows(49) two hearts are only slightly better than one(1) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: doctor who(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 321/9509
Added: 12/05/2013


Those Look Like Comfortable Shoes

In 1937, scientist Daniel Bovet created the first antihistamine to combat allergies. Flash forward forty years later, to 1977 - another allergy-related breakthrough: George and Neal create the Ah-Ah-Shoe!, the first antihistamine-laced shoe which th... Read More

Tags: 1937(2) 1977(2) ah-ah-shoe!(1) american cheese(1) antihistamine shoe(1) biological warfare(2) count your sneezes(1) daniel bovet(1) foot odor(3) stinky feet(3) those look like comfortable shoes(3)
Names Mentioned: daniel bovet(1) kraft(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 887/4846
Added: 12/08/2013


Need More Conventions!!!

By 2031 there were so many comic conventions and expos (including Comic-Con, WizCon, APE, C2E2, WonderCon, Comikaze, C4, MegaCon, Sac-Con, Pros & Con, Com-Con-Chameleon, Thimblecon, thousands of local comic conventions, and many more) that George and... Read More


Need More Conventions!!! - Attendees quickly began a tradition of dressing up as their favorite Comic Convention.  The costumes weren't quite as awe inspiring as those at said conventions, but there's a venue for everyone's passions!

Tags: 2031(1) 2042(1) art is art(10) business ventures(46) charisma points(2) comics(2) competition(10) costumes(4) crimes & scams(16) government(16) inspirations(19) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(8) organizations(15) politics(9) success!(13) super heroes(3) thimblecon(2) thimbles(2)
Names Mentioned: a dream of spring(1) a song of ice and fire(1) ape(1) awesome con dc(1) c2e2(1) c4(1) card and nostalgia show(1) cleveland comic(1) comic-con(1) comikaze(1) dan rostenkowski(1) george h. ryan(1) george r. r. martin(1) megacon(1) orville hodge(1) rod blagojevich(2) sac-con(1) wizcon(1) wondercon(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 371/14117
Added: 12/08/2013


Joanie Loves Churros

In 1978 a temporary glitch in George and Neal's Time Machine (well, not so much a glitch as Neal spilling a tub of Tang drink mix onto the controls - you'd think a time machine originally designed for making smoothies would be more resilient) caused ... Read More


Joanie Loves Churros - Doesn't that just make you want to have a churro?  If you need a churro right now, join others just like you here: I Need a Churro

Tags: 1978(5) candy crush(3) celebrities(69) chart topping(4) facebook(10) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(8) smoothies(7) things neal eats(9) time machine(37) time paradoxes are fun(4) tv shows(49) websites(7)
Names Mentioned: Charles In Charge(1) happy days(1) joanie loves chachi(1) scott baio(8) tang(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 416/11970
Added: 03/28/2014


Monkey Back Guarantee!

In 2030, it became extremely fashionable to have a hairy back. To cash in on this trend, George and Neal created a lotion that would increase the hair on your back by 650%. They were so confident that the lotion would work that they offered a "monk... Read More


Monkey Back Guarantee! - If ever we are taken over by ant overlords, we intend to foster a sense of insecurity amongst the ants about their hairlessness - then sell them our lotion.  Boom.  Money.

Tags: 2030(3) ant overlords(1) business ventures(46) fashion(3) george's fashion sense(13) hairy backs(1) lotion(2) monkey back guarantee(1) neal's fashion sense(21)
Names Mentioned: Ant Overlord(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 504/6816
Added: 04/11/2014


Lava Lamps: The Origin

In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward Craven-Walker stole Neal's idea. Craven-Walker's variation was much more successful and in 1968 he... Read More


Lava Lamps: The Origin - It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much.  They had a tendency to explode.  And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place.  (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)

Tags: 1960(1) 1963(2) 1968(4) blends(3) body parts(14) business ventures(46) first(3) inspirations(19) inventions(49) mental trauma(8) neal funk(18) people of history(33) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: Edward Craven-Walker(1) lava lamp(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 540/11421
Added: 04/11/2014


Like a Boss

Tired of all the speculation, George went back to 1984 and showed the world who was the boss. It was George.


Like a Boss - Although George successfully replaced Tony Danza, he did so by placing his head on Tony Danza's body.  It was obvious to all that something was wrong -but no one was comfortable talking about it.

Tags: 1984(10) celebrities(69) speculation(4) time machine(37) tv shows(49) who's the boss(1)
Names Mentioned: Alyssa Milano(4) danny pintauro(4) george jaros(13) judith light(4) katherine helmond(4) tony danza(4) who's the boss(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 679/9621
Added: 04/11/2014

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