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What's a Typewriter?

Entry Logged on: August 13, 2009 to Part 2 by: George - Photos by: George (1)
Page Views: 862 - Times Displayed: 9624

In 2025 George and Neal received a grant from the US government to study the long held belief that if you give a billion monkeys a billion typewriters eventually they'll type the complete works of Shakespeare. Unfortunately our study ended prematurely after 32 years when one of the monkeys figured out how to convert the typewriter into a jackhammer and broke all the other monkeys out of our research facility. We were however left with several Stephen King novels, three seasons of Saturday Night Live, the 1876 edition of the Farmers Almanac, and "How to Win Friends & Influence People" translated to Klingon, not to mention a very stinky research facility.

 

What's a Typewriter? - The Klingon Language Edition of "How to Win Friends & Influence People" quickly became the best selling edition. Who would have thought that people who speak Klingon would need friends or would like to influence people?

The Klingon Language Edition of "How to Win Friends & Influence People" quickly became the best selling edition. Who would have thought that people who speak Klingon would need friends or would like to influence people?

Photo by: George

Tags: 2025(1) animals(17) languages(11) publications(14) save the aminals(7) science(28) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: dale carnegie(2) farmers almanac(1) how to win friends and influence people(1) saturday night live(1) start trek(1) stephen king(1) william shakespeare(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

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Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: dale carnegie(2), farmers almanac(1), how to win friends and influence people(1), saturday night live(1), start trek(1), stephen king(1), william shakespeare(2)

Tags:
  • 2025 - (No Other Entries)
  • animals - (16 Other Entries)
    • Welcome aboard Adin! - In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and ad...
    • Joy to Everyone! - In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make C...
    • Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless - In 1991, Neal organized a protest against brutality toward unicorns called Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless, or B.U.T.T. Decades later, George in...
    • Restraining Orders Suck - Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawe...
    • Sisters of Endless Guilt - In 1962 George and Neal dressed as nuns and moved into the Sisters of Endless Guilt convent, just for kicks. We lived there for three and a half month...
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  • languages - (10 Other Entries)
    • Where did 'C' go? - Unfortunately, sometimes George and Neal's time (mis)adventures cause unforeseeable consequences. For example, in 1978, the letter/sound "c" was elim...
    • A and E: The Origin - However, other times, George and Neal's time (mis)adventures really benefited world languages. For example, in 1232 Neal invented the letter A and Ge...
    • Emoticlish - Emoticons will become the dominant language in 2028 for nearly every nation. In the rare nation that does not adopt Emoticlish (as it is referred to i...
    • No means... - You know the saying "No means no", well, in 1929 a glitch in George and Neal's teleportation device actually caused a rift in the definition continuum...
    • It Hood Ats Fla Was - In 2014, George decided that he could make a better dictation-to-text program than what was currently available (such as Dragon Dictation and Apple's ...
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  • publications - (13 Other Entries)
    • Hollow Earth - On and off for 35,000 years George and Neal worked on hollowing out the Earth. The dirt we hauled out was used to make the moon. The interior of the E...
    • Breakin'! - In 1984, George starred in the movie "Breakin'!" as Master Shabazz. In 1986, Neal, in an effort to follow in his friend's footsteps, starred in the mo...
    • Couch Potatoes Illustrated - Hearing about the steep decline in readers for magazines such as Sports Illustrated and Men's Health, George and Neal decided to start their own magaz...
    • Facebroke - On June 1, 2009 Neal broke Facebook, preventing George from uploading his latest awesome photos. This apparent sabotage was too little, too late for H...
    • The Idiots Guide To Circumcision - In 1995, George and Neal published the first ever "Idiots Guide To..." book under the pseudonyms "Astronauts Thomas D. Jones, Ph.D. and Michael Benson...
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  • save the aminals - (6 Other Entries)
    • Here Be Dragons - On a trip back to 1227 BCE George and Neal discovered that dragons did in fact inhabit major portions of the earth. Different species of dragons lived...
    • Bob, I miss my testicles, you jerk! - In 1988, George and Neal created cats and dogs with opposable thumbs and above-average intellects. Everyone was thrilled with the evolutionary jump - ...
    • You Won't Be Able To Unsee It. Sorry. - George has always had a love of science fiction. Something about the amazing stories with their roots in real science, fantasy, futurism, and history...
    • Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
    • 2 Already Displayed with Another Tag
    • Show All...
  • science - (27 Other Entries)
    • Family Week - In September 2012 George took a short break from time travelling, changing history, and altering the laws of physics to spend some more time with his ...
    • Fun With Genetics - Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted li...
    • Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - 680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmind...
    • Going all Einstein on your mouth... - In order to celebrate his genius, George and Neal went back in time to 1952 to meet Albert Einstein. Rather than being interested in scientific breakt...
    • Norris and Nye - George and Neal taught Chuck Norris everything he knows about kicking ass and Bill Nye everything he knows about science.
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  • tv shows - (48 Other Entries)
    • Ralph Malph - In 1920, George unfortunately lost millions investing in a ponzi scheme, in which his investments were used to pay earlier investors. In 1979, Neal lo...
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
    • Get To Da Choppa! - In 2020 George and Neal produced a very special episode of Dateline's "To Catch A Predator". It was a great success and they captured a lion, three gr...
    • The 3 Stooges: The Origin - In 1933, Columbia's "3 Nice Regular Guys" premiered, starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and George Jaros. The three produced 25 eight-to-twelve minute ...
    • George and Neal and the Masters of the Universe - In 1981, after the character Orko appeared in the cartoon He-Man, in a move that confused most of the world, Neal sued the cartoon company for infring...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Synchronized Swimming - Remember Karate Kid? Well, George and Neal faced off against each other in a similar competition, except it was not Karate, but rather synchronized sw...
  • Sorry-for-the-Hyphens - In 1983, George and Neal started the hair-metal/country band "Sorry-for-the-Hyphens". They gained a small cult following as a result of their minor se...
  • International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
  • The Heroic Journey of Two Wonderful, Influential, Benevolent Human Beings - George and Neal walked completely across the country and back in only three days back in 1986. Everyone was really impressed and George and Neal went ...
  • Rue Bourbon is Distracting - In 2069 George and Neal wrote a musical, called "Home to Where the Sun Rises". The smash hit spent four years on Broadway before touring the world. ...


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