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What's a Typewriter?

Entry Logged on: August 13, 2009 to Part 2 by: George - Photos by: George (1)
Page Views: 676 - Times Displayed: 6340

In 2025 George and Neal received a grant from the US government to study the long held belief that if you give a billion monkeys a billion typewriters eventually they'll type the complete works of Shakespeare. Unfortunately our study ended prematurely after 32 years when one of the monkeys figured out how to convert the typewriter into a jackhammer and broke all the other monkeys out of our research facility. We were however left with several Stephen King novels, three seasons of Saturday Night Live, the 1876 edition of the Farmers Almanac, and "How to Win Friends & Influence People" translated to Klingon, not to mention a very stinky research facility.

 

What's a Typewriter? - The Klingon Language Edition of "How to Win Friends & Influence People" quickly became the best selling edition. Who would have thought that people who speak Klingon would need friends or would like to influence people?

The Klingon Language Edition of "How to Win Friends & Influence People" quickly became the best selling edition. Who would have thought that people who speak Klingon would need friends or would like to influence people?

Photo by: George

Tags: 2025(1) animals(16) languages(11) publications(14) save the aminals(6) science(28) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: dale carnegie(2) farmers almanac(1) how to win friends and influence people(1) saturday night live(1) start trek(1) stephen king(1) william shakespeare(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

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Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: dale carnegie(2), farmers almanac(1), how to win friends and influence people(1), saturday night live(1), start trek(1), stephen king(1), william shakespeare(2)

Tags:
  • 2025 - (No Other Entries)
  • animals - (15 Other Entries)
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    • Welcome aboard Adin! - In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and ad...
    • The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland) - In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they g...
    • Restraining Orders Suck - Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawe...
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  • languages - (10 Other Entries)
    • A and E: The Origin - However, other times, George and Neal's time (mis)adventures really benefited world languages. For example, in 1232 Neal invented the letter A and Ge...
    • It Hood Ats Fla Was - In 2014, George decided that he could make a better dictation-to-text program than what was currently available (such as Dragon Dictation and Apple's ...
    • There's Waldo!!! - In 1998, Neal became overwhelmingly frustrated when he tried to crack the mysteries of the complex literary tome, "Where's Waldo?" After a near-breakd...
    • We Didn't Do 'Q' - In 1669 Neal invented the ellipses (...), however his first version was flawed. George suggested adding two more dots so that people would stop confus...
    • No means... - You know the saying "No means no", well, in 1929 a glitch in George and Neal's teleportation device actually caused a rift in the definition continuum...
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  • publications - (13 Other Entries)
    • Breakin'! - In 1984, George starred in the movie "Breakin'!" as Master Shabazz. In 1986, Neal, in an effort to follow in his friend's footsteps, starred in the mo...
    • Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy - In 2004, George and Neal publish their educational children's book, "Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy". The book was ...
    • 1964 through 1969 - In 1983 Neal and George co-wrote a short story that chronicled their adventures from 1964 through 1969. The story was well received in the literary co...
    • Hollow Earth - On and off for 35,000 years George and Neal worked on hollowing out the Earth. The dirt we hauled out was used to make the moon. The interior of the E...
    • Everybody Poops - In 1984, Bantam Books contacted George and Neal, requesting they write and illustrate a book for their Choose Your Own Adventure book line. George and...
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  • save the aminals - (5 Other Entries)
    • Bob, I miss my testicles, you jerk! - In 1988, George and Neal created cats and dogs with opposable thumbs and above-average intellects. Everyone was thrilled with the evolutionary jump - ...
    • Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless - In 1991, Neal organized a protest against brutality toward unicorns called Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless, or B.U.T.T. Decades later, George in...
    • Here Be Dragons - On a trip back to 1227 BCE George and Neal discovered that dragons did in fact inhabit major portions of the earth. Different species of dragons lived...
    • Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
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    • Show All...
  • science - (27 Other Entries)
    • Family Week - In September 2012 George took a short break from time travelling, changing history, and altering the laws of physics to spend some more time with his ...
    • Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh.... - In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have b...
    • SUPER POWERS - In 1975 a hiccup in the Teleportation Device George and Neal use to travel instantaneously across huge distances caused them to swap realities with al...
    • Phhhhlbtttt!!! - In 1927 there were actually 14 months to the year. Elevember came after December and Simbulary came after April. Earth revolved around the sun a bit s...
    • ...and over and over and over... - In 2036 George and Neal started one of the most aggressive research studies into ESP and telepathy (prophecy wasn't included since we already had our ...
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  • tv shows - (47 Other Entries)
    • America's Run Out of Talent - By 2012 NBC was having trouble finding people for its hit show "America's Got Talent". So they created a sequel, which George and Neal tried out for i...
    • Apollo 19 - In July 1972 George and Neal were members of the Apollo 19 mission to the moon. After landing in the Hyginus Rille region-Linear Rille, crater area. W...
    • Visiting Eternia - In 1988 George and Neal used their teleportation device to travel to the planet Eternia to inform the inhabitants of the successful legal proceedings ...
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
    • To boldly go... - Unbeknownst to most people, the original Star Trek series was actually a documentary series about George and Neal's adventures. Captain Kirk and his ...
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View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Say Anything (That Won't Get You Arrested) - In 1988 Neal's infatuation with John Cusack reached an all-time high. John was generally pretty cool with it, but during the filming of Say Anything ...
  • I Like My Cartoon Men Like I Like My Fish, Round and Pudgy - During 2003, while involved in their historic "Dare Ya..." competitions, Neal said, "George, I dare ya to create a real life Ziggy," (the adorable, no...
  • Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire - In 2006, Neal appeared on the television spin off, "Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire". Neal did not win the hundred dollars.
  • Monuments to Greatness - Gutzon Borglum originally had six faces carved on Mount Rushmore. The busts of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Abe Lincoln w...
  • The Dark Ages: The Origin - In about 480 AD the sun broke. In 1111 AD George and Neal invented a new, more efficient sun. That's why that period in history is known as the Dark A...


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