The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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There are conspiracy theories, and then there's the truth. And here it is, at long last. There was no UFO crash at Roswell. It wasn't a weather balloon either though. During another time travel journey George and Neal let one of their genetic experiments borrow the hover car they stole from a trip to the year 2121. Poor creature wrecked the car and got grounded for a month. There was also no moon landing, although NASA will dispute that. But that's to be expected, since George and Neal masterminded the entire event. NASA truly does believe they landed on the moon, but they were actually diverted to a massive litter box in south eastern Algeria by our Super Gravitational Ray Bender (also stolen from the year 2121). We just didn't think the world was ready for the knowledge that the moon is in fact made of cheese. But not dairy cheese, we're talking stuff like cheap watches, gaudy jewelry, game show hosts, '80s fashions, bad jokes, crappy rest area souvenirs, pet rocks, mood rings, Wayne Newton, Dollywood, puns, "... and all I got was this t-shirt" t-shirts, dollar store toys, B movies, and other "cheesy" stuff.

 

Between January 2111 and August 2121 George and Neal set out on a quest to discover as many creatures generally thought to be imaginary as possible. Over their 10 year hunt they proved the existence of unicorns, pixies, trolls, harpies, thunderbirds, centaurs, Nessie, yeti and sasquatch (but not bigfoot), Gary Busey, chimera, phoenix, and sqrt -1.

 

In 2121 Neal was stranded in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a desert island. However, Neal couldn't spell and thought he was on a dessert island. He spent the next year and a half eating nothing but sand, bark, and the occasional wandering crab, which he thought were cake crumbs, chocolate, and gummy crabs respectively. Somehow he survived, however this really did a number on his teeth, inspiring him to write the hit song "Teeth are for Wussies, so Give Edentulous a Chance". Ironically, George was also stranded in the middle of the ocean during the exact same time frame, but he was actually on a dessert island. He survived the 18 months on a diet of whipped cream, lollipops, and chocolate chip cookies. This inspired George to create the recipe for his tooth-whitening toothpaste. Also, ironically, George and Neal's islands were within swimming distance of each other, however Neal was too afraid of the salt in the ocean to swim over. (Well, according to George. According to Neal it was because George kept him away by brandishing licorice whips, but who are you gonna believe?) When George and Neal finally were rescued by some guy named Clem, they returned to the 1980's and put their latest creations to good use.

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