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Chainsaw Wielding Raccoons

Views: 147/2858
Added: 04/18/2009

In 1974 George and Neal prevented a hostile takeover of the US by an army of chainsaw wielding raccoons. We did this by training squirrels to use nail guns to take out the raccoons. Unfortunately the squirrels got too sure of themselves and started taking out peanut vendors at sporting events. George and Neal solved this problem by meeting with the squirrels without preconditions. They agreed to stop shooting peanut vendors if we agreed to lift economic sanctions against their home nation of Sciuridaetopia.

Tags: 1974(6) kicking ass(16) peanuts(6) raccoons(3) sciuridaetopia(3) squirrels(3)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Sciuridaetopian National Independent Commando Killing Elite Reactionary Squirrel Team

Views: 205/3758
Added: 05/27/2009

In 1994 George and Neal prevented a hostile takeover of the US by an army of chainsaw wielding raccoons (yes, again). Luckily our nail gun firing squirrels that we trained in the 1974 incursion had multiplied (like rodents are prone to do) as had their arsenal. Because of George and Neal's diplomacy (and a few strategically placed peanut bribes) their nation of Sciuridaetopia sent their Sciuridaetopian National Independent Commando Killing Elite Reactionary Squirrel team (S.N.I.C.K.E.R.S.) to save us all from having to eat out of garbage cans and dip our food in water once again (although Neal does tend to enjoy his meals that way occasionally).

 

Sciuridaetopian National Independent Commando Killing Elite Reactionary Squirrel Team - This raccoon stood no chance against the lightsaber wielding rodents...

This raccoon stood no chance against the lightsaber wielding rodents...

Photo by: George

Tags: 1974(6) 1994(4) kicking ass(16) peanuts(6) raccoons(3) sciuridaetopia(3) squirrels(3) star wars(7)
Names Mentioned: star wars(6)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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George Takes a Break

Views: 175/4283
Added: 09/05/2009

In April, 2016 George got tired of the whole ninja fighting and history manipulating thing. He decided to try something more relaxing and opened the Meadows of Elysium Bed & Breakfast. Unfortunately the whole thing was a disaster. Maybe it was because George doesn't sleep... Maybe it was because George doesn't eat breakfast (let alone cook it)... Or maybe it was because adventure just has a way of finding George. In the six months George was running his BnB it was attacked by zombies three times, killer robots once, and chainsaw wielding raccoons twice. George's patrons (those that survived) refused to ever return nor refer their friends and family. By October George had decided to leave the hospitality business and return to the life of adventure, fame and mystery that he was destined for.

Neal, on the other hand, started a very successful chain of hotels called X-Torch Inn, later renamed Hotel-9. Neal's success wasn't due so much to his hotels' amenities, cleanliness, or reputation so much as it was his policy of photoshopping... I mean photographing wealthy patrons committing adultery. Then he would threaten to show the photos to the guilty party's spouse (resulting in a very messy divorce) unless the party agreed to use Neal's law firm for their divorce proceedings (resulting in a very expensive, but much less messy divorce). It was a twisted web that he wove, but it resulted in the very profitable sale of Hotel-9 to Motel 6 in 2081. The merger of Motel 6 and Hotel-9 (called by the media the "6-9 Hookup") was touted as the biggest corporate acquisition of the century.

Tags: 2016(8) business ventures(44) crimes & scams(16) gimme a break(5) ninjas(3) raccoons(3) robots(7) zombies(21)
Names Mentioned: motel 6(1)
Entry Logged By: George



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