The Grand Saga of
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The Fountain of Youth

Entry Logged on: July 01, 2009 to Part 2 by: George
Page Views: 145 - Times Displayed: 4740

In 1609 George and Neal discovered the Fountain of Youth in Florida, just where Ponce de Leon thought it was. We kept the fountain's location a secret, but over the years the instinctive draw to the fountain has caused Florida to become home to a vast majority of the nation's elderly. Attracting senior citizens is not a new feature of the fountain, however. In fact, the Seminole Indians were not really a separate tribe of Native Americans. They were actually just the old people from other Native American tribes. Consequently, Seminole is the origin of the English word "senile". In 1958 a retirement community called "Your Last Resort" (built by another George & Neal company called God's Waiting Room Properties, Ltd.) was built on the location of the fountain. During construction the waters of the fountain were unwittingly diverted into the sewer system. The rejuvenating power of the water still works, but is significantly less palatable to drink now.

Tags: 1609(1) 1958(1) aging(2) business ventures(44) etymology(4) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: florida(1) ponce de leon(1) seminole indians(1)
Entry Logged By: George

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: florida(1), ponce de leon(1), seminole indians(1)

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  • 1609 - (No Other Entries)
  • 1958 - (No Other Entries)
  • aging - (1 Other Entry)
    • Aging gracefully... - Although principles of space-time restrict George and Neal from interacting with their older or younger selves (without proper precautions there is a ...
  • business ventures - (43 Other Entries)
    • Big Triangular Shaped Buildings - In 2540 BCE George and Neal designed and supervised the construction of the great Pyramid at Giza. We didn't use slave labor like many historians susp...
    • Facemag - Hell on Osteoporosis - In early 2010, in an attempt to attract the age 80+ and technophobe demographics, as well as providing an alternate supply for the Facebook addicts, G...
    • SUPER POWERS - In 1975 a hiccup in the Teleportation Device George and Neal use to travel instantaneously across huge distances caused them to swap realities with al...
    • We'd Need a Thneed Indeed! - In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industr...
    • When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin - In 1906 George accidentally originated the popular phrase "When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade." This phrase was later published in Volume 26, ...
    • Show All...
  • etymology - (3 Other Entries)
    • Joystick Etymology: The Origin - In 1907 both George and Neal independently coined the term "joystick". George had a friend named Joy Buttnum who had a nervous tic that made her twitc...
    • Poor, poor Clem... - These used to be "The Grand Saga of George, Neal, and Clem's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!" but at some point, due to a glitch in t...
    • 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
  • people of history - (32 Other Entries)
    • Rudolph: The Origin - In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape ...
    • Lava Lamps: The Origin - In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward...
    • George Spores - In September 1928, Neal and George decided to attempt to clone themselves so that future generations could benefit from their awesomeness. Neal believ...
    • Darwin Loves Us! - In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection t...
    • Team Ghandi - In 1972, not satisfied with only two teams, Neal and George created Chicago's third major league baseball team, Team Ghandi. Unfortunately, the team n...
    • Show All...
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  • Synchronized Swimming - Remember Karate Kid? Well, George and Neal faced off against each other in a similar competition, except it was not Karate, but rather synchronized sw...
  • Bob, I miss my testicles, you jerk! - In 1988, George and Neal created cats and dogs with opposable thumbs and above-average intellects. Everyone was thrilled with the evolutionary jump - ...
  • Hair, Inc. - In 1964 George and Neal started their niche business "Hair, Inc." in which they supplied the hair for your favorite rock stars and other celebrities. ...
  • Chicken To Ride - And Other Classics Done Right - In 2012 George and Neal recorded an album of cover songs, except instead of the actual lyrics we sang the lyrics that everyone thinks the original art...


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