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The Fountain of Youth

Entry Logged on: July 01, 2009 to Part 2 by: George
Page Views: 341 - Times Displayed: 6730

In 1609 George and Neal discovered the Fountain of Youth in Florida, just where Ponce de Leon thought it was. We kept the fountain's location a secret, but over the years the instinctive draw to the fountain has caused Florida to become home to a vast majority of the nation's elderly. Attracting senior citizens is not a new feature of the fountain, however. In fact, the Seminole Indians were not really a separate tribe of Native Americans. They were actually just the old people from other Native American tribes. Consequently, Seminole is the origin of the English word "senile". In 1958 a retirement community called "Your Last Resort" (built by another George & Neal company called God's Waiting Room Properties, Ltd.) was built on the location of the fountain. During construction the waters of the fountain were unwittingly diverted into the sewer system. The rejuvenating power of the water still works, but is significantly less palatable to drink now.

Tags: 1609(1) 1958(1) aging(2) business ventures(46) etymology(4) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: florida(1) ponce de leon(1) seminole indians(1)
Entry Logged By: George

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: florida(1), ponce de leon(1), seminole indians(1)

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  • 1609 - (No Other Entries)
  • 1958 - (No Other Entries)
  • aging - (1 Other Entry)
    • Aging gracefully... - Although principles of space-time restrict George and Neal from interacting with their older or younger selves (without proper precautions there is a ...
  • business ventures - (45 Other Entries)
    • Just don't use it on your clothes, please. - In 2048, Neal claimed to invent an invisibility potion, and thereafter used the potion to open up many financially successful invisible zoos. George l...
    • The Evian Mobile - In 1910 George and Neal, knowing the future issues that would be caused by the pollution from combustion engines, invented a highly efficient hydrogen...
    • It's Convenient: The Origin - In 711 AD on July 11th at 7:11pm George and Neal invented the convenience store. Then, in 1927 some guy named Joe Thompson completely ripped off our i...
    • In the Beginning... AKA: The Origin - Neal met George workin' on the farm. George always promised Neal he'd see the rabbits.After a falling out, they met years later on a city bus. Wait, d...
    • We Help You Help Yourself - Self Help Clinic - In 2005, George and Neal founded the "We Help You Help Yourself - Self Help Clinic". It is unknown at this time whether the Clinic was a whopping succ...
    • Show All...
  • etymology - (3 Other Entries)
    • When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin - In 1906 George accidentally originated the popular phrase "When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade." This phrase was later published in Volume 26, ...
    • Poor, poor Clem... - These used to be "The Grand Saga of George, Neal, and Clem's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!" but at some point, due to a glitch in t...
    • Joystick Etymology: The Origin - In 1907 both George and Neal independently coined the term "joystick". George had a friend named Joy Buttnum who had a nervous tic that made her twitc...
  • people of history - (32 Other Entries)
    • Make the Trains Run on Thyme - Mussolini got his idea to tell everyone that he made the trains run on time after George and Neal invented a train that ran on thyme (Benito simply mi...
    • Rudolph: The Origin - In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape ...
    • Duels of Toxicity - Beginning in 1777, every 4th of July, George and Neal would get together and throw a party for the most important and powerful American figures. The p...
    • Darwin Loves Us! - In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection t...
    • Arctic Camping - From October 1907 to May 1909 George and Neal camped out at the North Pole. We're not sure why exactly since it was very cold, there wasn't much to ea...
    • Show All...
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Other Posts:

  • The DHARMA Initiative - In 1973, Neal and George co-founded the DHARMA initiative (yeah, those Lost guys got the idea from us), in an effort to prevent the pending apocalypse...
  • Aracauna Flu - In 2068 George and Neal accidentally engineered a new strain of the flu virus, called Aracauna Flu, and then subsequently became the first people to c...
  • Infecting 1002 - In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrive...
  • The Recession of 2009: The Origin - On 2/27/2009 George was too busy and too tired to do anything more than just embellish a bit. So he made up some random dribble just to take up some s...
  • We'll never learn... - In 2059, George and Neal did some other awesome stuff, and one thing they are both not very proud of. It involved a tray of ice, a can of motor oil, a...


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