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Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party

Entry Logged on: April 04, 2009 to Part 1 by: George - Photos by: George (1)
Page Views: 173 - Times Displayed: 10364

Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Territory". George would bake the cakes and deliver them and Neal would jump out of them. This was a very successful business until August, 1998, when Neal believed he was being sent to a bachelorette party. At the designated time Neal leaped out of the cake and began shaking his stuff while bills got stuffed into his speedo. After about 10 minutes Neal realized that the laughs were slightly deeper than what he would expect from a bachelorette party. Upon wiping the whipped cream from his eyes Neal realized he was actually at Jerry Falwell's 65th birthday party and Mr. Falwell was just about to stuff another $20 into Neal's G-String. Neal shouted and ran, closely followed by a mob of seniors stuffing change down his coin slot, toward the door yelling for George to "Start the van! Start the van!" Neal escaped with a whopping $1,642.63 in those 10 short minutes, not including the roll of quarters he kept stuffed in his banana hammock.

 

Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Taken just seconds before Neal took off running, much to Jerry and Pat's disappointment.

Taken just seconds before Neal took off running, much to Jerry and Pat's disappointment.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1992(2) 1998(9) business ventures(44) celebrities(69) christian(8) food(45) movies(40) neal's fashion sense(20) phallus(8) religion(11) scantily clad people(15) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: jerry falwell(2) pat robertson(1) under siege(3) under siege 2: dark territory(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: jerry falwell(2), pat robertson(1), under siege(3), under siege 2: dark territory(1)

Tags:
  • 1992 - (1 Other Entry)
    • Under Siege - In 1992 George and Neal starred in the blockbuster action hit "Under Siege". George starred as the ex-Navy SEAL turned cook who must protect an aircra...
  • 1998 - (8 Other Entries)
    • George let the dogs out! - In 1998 George let the dogs out, but he let them back in as soon as they were finished doing their duty. Anslem Douglas didn't believe him though and...
    • Clean, Efficient, Traumatizing Feeble Power - In 1998, George decided to traumatize Neal by forcing him to watch Peter Jackson's lesser known muppets-on-drugs movie, Meet the Feebles. Neal has bee...
    • From the generic - From the generic "How Do You Know" fields:Lived together?You lived in Sin in 1998.You lived in a van down by the river (but we swear nothing steamy ha...
    • Johnson & Johnson's in Rock & Roll - During their chronal adventures, Neal and George discovered a deep, dark secret of the music industry. Apparently for years the Johnson & Johnson com...
    • Party Like It's 1999 - In 1998 George and Neal partied like it was 1999. In 1999 George and Neal didn't party.
    • Show All...
  • business ventures - (43 Other Entries)
    • In the Beginning... AKA: The Origin - Neal met George workin' on the farm. George always promised Neal he'd see the rabbits.After a falling out, they met years later on a city bus. Wait, d...
    • Need More Conventions!!! - By 2031 there were so many comic conventions and expos (including Comic-Con, WizCon, APE, C2E2, WonderCon, Comikaze, C4, MegaCon, Sac-Con, Pros & Con,...
    • Chronal Warriors George - With the success of Hasbro's Transformers and G.I. Joe toy lines, rival toy company Tonka sought to create their own action figure toy lines. After a...
    • Tooth-whitening Toothpaste - George and Neal hit great fame in the late '80s after successfully marketing a tooth-whitening toothpaste. However, when it was discovered that the "p...
    • New George and New Neal - On April 23, 1985, Coca-Cola changed its formula and released the New Coke. Not to be outdone, George and Neal intentionally altered their DNA to crea...
    • Show All...
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • Zardoz - When George and Neal were told they could do costume designing for Sean Connery, they jumped at the opportunity. Not because they liked Sean Connery -...
    • Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)... - George was originally cast in the lead role as Michael Knight for the 1980's TV series Knight Rider, however due to conflicting interests (George was ...
    • Like a Boss - Tired of all the speculation, George went back to 1984 and showed the world who was the boss. It was George.
    • Goodby Kimmie! - In December, 2011 Neal and George did the world a favor by getting rid of Kim Jong Il using a technique they spent decades perfecting. The "Remote Hea...
    • Welcome aboard Sam! - In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make ...
    • Show All...
  • christian - (7 Other Entries)
    • Darwin Loves Us! - In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection t...
    • Keeping Kosher - Neal enjoys eating pickled pig snouts, but only if they're Kosher. George enjoys eating all the foods his wife won't let him eat.
    • Joy to Everyone! - In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make C...
    • Sisters of Endless Guilt - In 1962 George and Neal dressed as nuns and moved into the Sisters of Endless Guilt convent, just for kicks. We lived there for three and a half month...
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
    • Show All...
  • food - (44 Other Entries)
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
    • I Dare You! - On September 6, 2010, George and Neal initiated a series of dares, each more shocking than the last. It started innocently enough, when George dared N...
    • Restraining Orders Suck - Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawe...
    • Unintelligent Design - In 2111 George and Neal made waves in the ongoing debate on Evolution vs. Creationism with a new theory of Unintelligent Design, which states that a d...
    • Chewie Wookie Cookies - A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... As a young girl, Princess Leia Organa was a member of the Alderaan Starflower Girl Scout Troop. Her tro...
    • Show All...
  • movies - (39 Other Entries)
    • Documentaries - Throughout the years George and Neal have helped create several famous documentaries, including Gheorghe Marinescu's "The walking troubles of organic ...
    • They're all True Stories - Numerous TV shows and Movies (and also a few books) have been based on the life and times of George and Neal. Included in these are: Superman, Bill an...
    • George, Digitally Inserted - In 1997, due to George's deep love of Star Wars, as well as his admiration of George Lucas (less as a result of Lucas's accomplishments and more becau...
    • Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
    • Religious iDeals - In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of...
    • Show All...
  • neal's fashion sense - (19 Other Entries)
    • Love those Anne Geddes baby-flower costumes. - For some unknown reason Japanese people like to take photographs of George. Only Neal likes to take photos of Neal, in those Anne Geddes baby-flower c...
    • Synchronized Swimming - Remember Karate Kid? Well, George and Neal faced off against each other in a similar competition, except it was not Karate, but rather synchronized sw...
    • We're Not Bigfoot - George and Neal are both virile, macho men - so much so that if they did not shave for two days, hair would grow all over their body, making them look...
    • Monkey Back Guarantee! - In 2030, it became extremely fashionable to have a hairy back. To cash in on this trend, George and Neal created a lotion that would increase the hai...
    • Clint Ain't Wacko! - In August 2012, Clint Eastwood was thought to have embarrassed himself at the Republican National Convention by pretending to argue with an invisible ...
    • Show All...
  • phallus - (7 Other Entries)
    • Geal - In 1955, a small village in Transylvania attempted to assassinate George and Neal for inventing Pig Latin. All attempts were unsuccessful, in part bec...
    • Dirk Diggler Ain't Got Nothin' - In 1991, Neal and George were beaten up by "Marky Mark" Wahlberg and 1 member of his Funky Bunch (specifically, Hector the Bootie Inspector). After kn...
    • To boldly go... - Unbeknownst to most people, the original Star Trek series was actually a documentary series about George and Neal's adventures. Captain Kirk and his ...
    • Love Aid Rings - In 1951, George and Neal decided to make a line of "Love Aid Rings" to sell to the public. Neal designed them based upon his own body, which he felt w...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • Show All...
  • religion - (10 Other Entries)
    • EastKippur - In an effort to unify religions, George and Neal combined Easter and Yom Kippur, (known as "EastKippur"). Unfortunately, this resulted in a cruel iron...
    • Westboro Baptist Church - In 2013, in an attempt to connect with the average American, Westboro Baptist Church contacted Neal and George for their advice. We recommended they ...
    • Happy Chomp-akah - Wanting to "shake things up" for the next Hanukah, in 2013 Neal invented "Tleg", the exact opposite of Gelt - chocolate on the outside, gold foil on t...
    • Rue Bourbon is Distracting - In 2069 George and Neal wrote a musical, called "Home to Where the Sun Rises". The smash hit spent four years on Broadway before touring the world. ...
    • Samhain and Zarathosht Diso - A second attempt to unite the religious holidays of Samhain and Zarathosht Diso was equally disastrous since neither of them was Wiccan or Zoroastrian...
    • Show All...
  • scantily clad people - (14 Other Entries)
    • Two Seamstresses, One Thimble - In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral ...
    • Saturday Night George - In 1993 George and Neal used the Time Machine in conjunction with the Teleportation Device and wound up in an alternate reality where families sit aro...
    • We'd Need a Thneed Indeed! - In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industr...
    • Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson - Unbeknownst to many, and typical for a Hollywood film, 2000s blockbuster hit Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was nowhere near as good as the Broadway m...
    • Measure Your Spaghetti - In 2018 George and Neal were invited to appear before the entire US Government to talk about their accomplishments. The talk started out normal enough...
    • Show All...
  • xxx - (10 Other Entries)
    • Cookin' with Martha and Neal - In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; howev...
    • Neal Simon's Manhood - Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) th...
    • The George and Neal Newsnetwork - In 2040, Neal and George created a television news program devoted solely to chronicling their (mis)adventures, called the George and Neal Newsnetwork...
    • Girls Gone Tame - In 2021, to capitalize on the new, extremely modest trends in fashion, George and Neal made millions off their new video series called "Girls Gone Tam...
    • Neal's On Wheels - (Ahem). In 2040, Neal offered a new service to the general public, wherein he would transport people on his back while riding on roller skates. He cal...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Studio Carrum Ccohortis - After extensive research for 23 years, George and Neal released the results of their Studio Carrum Ccohortis project. They discovered a very complex f...
  • Sisqo's Lullaby - In 2018 George's third kid served as inspiration to his greatest gift to the human race. He noticed that Andrew was very mobile and kept having probl...
  • Nealotards - For six years, from 2021 to 2027 Neal tried very hard to get the world to pick up male-leotards as the latest fashion trend (he called them Nealotards...
  • Vanished Celebrity Vaudeville Variety Hour - In 1937 George and Neal, while experimenting with a new potato gun in the central Pacific, accidentally shot down Amelia Earhart's airplane. They were...
  • SUPER POWERS - In 1975 a hiccup in the Teleportation Device George and Neal use to travel instantaneously across huge distances caused them to swap realities with al...


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