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Not Conspiracy Theories

Entry Logged on: February 16, 2009 to Part 1 by: George
Page Views: 402 - Times Displayed: 8659

There are conspiracy theories, and then there's the truth. And here it is, at long last. There was no UFO crash at Roswell. It wasn't a weather balloon either though. During another time travel journey George and Neal let one of their genetic experiments borrow the hover car they stole from a trip to the year 2121. Poor creature wrecked the car and got grounded for a month. There was also no moon landing, although NASA will dispute that. But that's to be expected, since George and Neal masterminded the entire event. NASA truly does believe they landed on the moon, but they were actually diverted to a massive litter box in south eastern Algeria by our Super Gravitational Ray Bender (also stolen from the year 2121). We just didn't think the world was ready for the knowledge that the moon is in fact made of cheese. But not dairy cheese, we're talking stuff like cheap watches, gaudy jewelry, game show hosts, '80s fashions, bad jokes, crappy rest area souvenirs, pet rocks, mood rings, Wayne Newton, Dollywood, puns, "... and all I got was this t-shirt" t-shirts, dollar store toys, B movies, and other "cheesy" stuff.

Tags: 2121(3) aliens(5) celebrities(69) cheese(1) conspiracy theories(7) genetics(16) moon(2) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: dollywood(1) nasa(2) roswell(1) wayne newton(1)
Entry Logged By: George

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Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: dollywood(1), nasa(2), roswell(1), wayne newton(1)

Tags:
  • 2121 - (2 Other Entries)
    • It's a buffet, not a Buffett... - In 2121 Neal was stranded in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a desert island. However, Neal couldn't spell and thought he was on a dessert island....
    • They're Not Imaginary Afterall - Between January 2111 and August 2121 George and Neal set out on a quest to discover as many creatures generally thought to be imaginary as possible. O...
  • aliens - (4 Other Entries)
    • Apollo 19 - In July 1972 George and Neal were members of the Apollo 19 mission to the moon. After landing in the Hyginus Rille region-Linear Rille, crater area. W...
    • Napoleon's iPod: The Origin - In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the lo...
    • Area 51¾ - Area 51 - There is no such thing. I repeat, there is no such thing as Area 51. Area 51¾, however has been kept such a great secret by George and Neal ...
    • Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson - Unbeknownst to many, and typical for a Hollywood film, 2000s blockbuster hit Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was nowhere near as good as the Broadway m...
    • Swingin' Records! - In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship...
    • Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
    • 2008 Election Campaigns - During the 2008 election season, George and Neal were hired by Barack Obama's marketing team to come up with catchy ditties about the man. After writi...
    • Vatican Idol and Spin-offs - In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singi...
    • Show All...
  • cheese - (No Other Entries)
  • conspiracy theories - (6 Other Entries)
  • genetics - (15 Other Entries)
    • The Lazy X - In 1987, while working on their little known chromosome research project, George and Neal discovered that the Y chromosome was merely a "lazy X" chrom...
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
    • GONADS - In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device t...
    • International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
    • The ChickenPede - In 1996 George and Neal cross bred a centipede with a chicken (that was one wild night, let me tell you). The resulting mutant became a favored pet of...
    • Show All...
  • moon - (1 Other Entry)
    • 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
  • time machine - (36 Other Entries)
    • An end to worldwide tortoise hunger! - In 2008, George and Neal became extremely productive after discovering they could use their time machine to sleep 9 hours each night, while only reall...
    • Everything is About George - After a heated debate with his wife where she stated, "Everything is not always about you, George!", George went back in time (just prior to the begin...
    • Who's the Bossasaur? - In 1904, just one year after Elmer Riggs published his paper stating that Apatosaurus and Brontosaurus were the same creature, George and Neal discove...
    • Feats of Strength!™ - In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using ...
    • Falling Out - In 1989 George and Neal had a falling out and didn't speak to each other for over 40 years, until they reconnected over their love of "Rock Smoothies"...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Teeth are for Wussies, so Give Edentulous a Chance - In order to prevent George and Neal from becoming destitute after the ADA failed to support their new toothpaste approximately three dozen musicians, ...
  • Slap-Bracelets: The Origin - In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustratio...
  • Not Conspiracy Theories - There are conspiracy theories, and then there's the truth. And here it is, at long last. There was no UFO crash at Roswell. It wasn't a weather balloo...
  • It Stinks! - Thanks to the success of nasty food television shows such as Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, and Worst Cooks in America, by 2019 there were no foo...
  • March of 2009 - In March of 2009 George traveled back to February of 2009 just to make this entry in this list of great accomplishments.


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