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Jaguanst Causes Climate Change

Entry Logged on: May 18, 2009 to Part 2 by: George
Page Views: 174 - Times Displayed: 12610

In a landmark, decade long study that George and Neal published the results of in 2012, it was discovered that the biggest cause of global warming was actually the consumption of carbonated beverages. Every can or bottle of jaguanst (that's soda or pop to you unenlightened ones) consumed by the world's population releases a small amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. All that fizz really adds up. As a result of the study world governments immediately banned all carbonated beverages, resulting in dramatic reductions in CO2 emissions around the globe. Subsequently, the drastic cooling effect caused the beginning of the next ice age by 2015.

Tags: 2012(14) 2015(9) food(45) government(16) jaguanst(8) science(28) weather(7)
Entry Logged By: George

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    • The Lazy X - In 1987, while working on their little known chromosome research project, George and Neal discovered that the Y chromosome was merely a "lazy X" chrom...
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    • Nobody does the weather like Neal (and that's a good thing). - In 2023 George and Neal each got jobs as meteorologists for competing local Chicago VV stations (VV will be the replacement for TV in the future). Bot...
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Other Posts:

  • Nobel Peace Prize - In 1980, when George and Neal were both 2 years old, they were given the Nobel Peace Prize as a result of older George and Neal traveling back in time...
  • Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire - In 2006, Neal appeared on the television spin off, "Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire". Neal did not win the hundred dollars.
  • Measure Your Spaghetti - In 2018 George and Neal were invited to appear before the entire US Government to talk about their accomplishments. The talk started out normal enough...
  • George's Ghastly Spell and the Toothless Fairy - For four years (1995 - 1999) George filled in for the Boogie Man while he was on sabbatical. Those exceptionally productive years are affectionately k...
  • This Ain't Your Dada's IKEA - In 2017, riding on the success of ExMo and the IISL, George and Neal started a new line of furniture stores called ILEAK, making the style and comfort...


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