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Hair, Inc.

Entry Logged on: June 29, 2009 to Part 2 by: George - Photos by: George (2)
Page Views: 841 - Times Displayed: 18103

In 1964 George and Neal started their niche business "Hair, Inc." in which they supplied the hair for your favorite rock stars and other celebrities. The business was an overnight success when the Beatles (who were actually all completely bald) became their first clients. Over the years our business has grown and we supply hair for all the biggest stars. We had our most profitable decade in the 1980's with the rise in popularity of "Glam Rock" and "Hair Metal" bands. Some of our highest profile clients include, in addition to The Beatles, Aerosmith, The Rolling Stones, Poison, Don King, Lyle Lovett, Twisted Sister's Dee Snider, Willie Nelson, ZZ Top (but just their beards), Gene Simmons and Ace Frehley of Kiss, Crystal Gayle, and the left half of David Bowie's head, just to name a few. We have been trying to gain Paul Simon, Ron Howard and Sinead O'Connor as clients for years without success. Brittney Spears was our client at one point, but we had a falling out in February 2007 before she turned to one of our inferior competitors, "Rock Locks" (who also services the rest of Kiss, Slaughter, Howard Stern, and Motley Crew, among others). We also used to do the hair for Metallica, until they decided to start sucking. About the only celebrity who's hair is actually real is our good friend David Allan Coe's, and that's some bad-ass hair for an old guy.

 

Hair, Inc. - Thanks to Hair, Inc. very few people knew that the Fab Four were really the Bald Four.

Thanks to Hair, Inc. very few people knew that the Fab Four were really the Bald Four.

Photo by: George

 

Not a client of Hair, Inc. - George on stage with his buddy David Allan Coe (not a client of Hair, Inc.). Neal wasn't allowed on stage, but he did take this awesome picture.

George on stage with his buddy David Allan Coe (not a client of Hair, Inc.). Neal wasn't allowed on stage, but he did take this awesome picture.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1964(3) 2007(2) beatles(3) business ventures(46) celebrities(69) hair(12) music(26)
Names Mentioned: ace frehley(1) aerosmith(2) beatles(4) brittney spears(1) crystal gayle(1) david allan coe(1) david bowie(1) dee snider(1) don king(1) gene simmons(1) howard stern(1) kiss(2) lyle lovett(1) metallica(2) motley crew(1) paul simon(2) poison(1) rolling stones(2) ron howard(2) sinead o'connor(1) slaughter(1) twisted sister(1) willie nelson(1) zz top(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)

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Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: ace frehley(1), aerosmith(2), beatles(4), brittney spears(1), crystal gayle(1), david allan coe(1), david bowie(1), dee snider(1), don king(1), gene simmons(1), howard stern(1), kiss(2), lyle lovett(1), metallica(2), motley crew(1), paul simon(2), poison(1), rolling stones(2), ron howard(2), sinead o'connor(1), slaughter(1), twisted sister(1), willie nelson(1), zz top(2)

Tags:
  • 1964 - (2 Other Entries)
    • 1964 through 1969 - In 1983 Neal and George co-wrote a short story that chronicled their adventures from 1964 through 1969. The story was well received in the literary co...
    • When Lemurade Fails - When Neal's recipe for Lemurade failed to catch on in the early 1900s, George suggested that it may have been because Lemurade didn't contain any actu...
  • 2007 - (1 Other Entry)
    • Vatican Idol and Spin-offs - In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singi...
  • beatles - (2 Other Entries)
    • Worst... Enya... Ever... - George was the fifth Beatle. However, due to a problem with the time machine, he had to forsake this role, give up fame and fortune and return to his ...
    • The Rolling Beatles - So very, very tired of endless "Beatles vs. Stones" arguments, in 2022, George and Neal decided to do the only logical thing to resolve the issue: go ...
  • business ventures - (45 Other Entries)
    • SUPER POWERS - In 1975 a hiccup in the Teleportation Device George and Neal use to travel instantaneously across huge distances caused them to swap realities with al...
    • In Great Shape - In 1902 George and Neal developed a revolutionary diet program. The program slowly grew and evolved until the 1950s and 1960s when it suddenly took of...
    • In the Beginning... AKA: The Origin - Neal met George workin' on the farm. George always promised Neal he'd see the rabbits.After a falling out, they met years later on a city bus. Wait, d...
    • Damn you, Midler! - In 2010 George and Neal single handedly (well, I guess double-handedly) save the US from a great depression, by creating a new industry devoted solely...
    • Couch Potatoes Illustrated - Hearing about the steep decline in readers for magazines such as Sports Illustrated and Men's Health, George and Neal decided to start their own magaz...
    • Show All...
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • Ralph Malph - In 1920, George unfortunately lost millions investing in a ponzi scheme, in which his investments were used to pay earlier investors. In 1979, Neal lo...
    • Basic Instinct - George was the prime candidate for the Sharon Stone role in Basic Instinct. When George passed on the role, due only to the fact that taking the role ...
    • Sinatra Sluggers - In 1970, Neal and George went back in time to punch Frank Sinatra in the gut. Not because we had anything against Frank Sinatra per se, but rather bec...
    • Cookin' with Martha and Neal - In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; howev...
    • Chicken To Ride - And Other Classics Done Right - In 2012 George and Neal recorded an album of cover songs, except instead of the actual lyrics we sang the lyrics that everyone thinks the original art...
    • Show All...
  • hair - (11 Other Entries)
    • The Opposable Nose: The Origin - In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. Ho...
    • Handlebar Mustache: The Origin - In 1815 George invented the handlebar mustache; however no one understood the name. So in 1817 he invented the velocipede and suddenly everyone knew w...
    • Punky Georgester - George, however, went on to star in The Brady Bunch, Punky Brewster, The A-Team, Cheers, Three's Company, and All in the Family before moving on to hi...
    • The Neo-Geo Fanclub - In an effort to find a way to accurately predict the weather, Neal and George devised a weather-prediction machine, which was comprised of a series of...
    • Skullets Rock! - In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick ...
    • Show All...
  • music - (25 Other Entries)
    • KISS - George and Neal were once part of the rock band KISS, but left the band in 1974 because they didn't think makeup of a raccoon and chimp respectively w...
    • The Wilhelm Scream and Other Sounds - The Wilhelm Scream is pretty well known for being a sound effect used in many, many movies. What is less well known is that George and Neal also prov...
    • 2008 Election Campaigns - During the 2008 election season, George and Neal were hired by Barack Obama's marketing team to come up with catchy ditties about the man. After writi...
    • Swingin' Records! - In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship...
    • Marshmonica as Endorsed by John Popper - Dateline, 2058: In an effort to feed as well as entertain the homeless, George and Neal invented the first edible harmonica. Much to George's dismay, ...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Sciuridaetopia Invades - In 2014 the United States was overrun by a large number of giant squirrels. Apparently our neighbor, Sciuridaetopia had been conducting top secret gen...
  • When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin - In 1906 George accidentally originated the popular phrase "When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade." This phrase was later published in Volume 26, ...
  • A Worthy Cause! - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, a story about a child born as an old man who aged in reverse, wasn’t always a work of fiction. Originally, there...
  • The Fountain of Youth - In 1609 George and Neal discovered the Fountain of Youth in Florida, just where Ponce de Leon thought it was. We kept the fountain's location a secret...
  • Religious iDeals - In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of...


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