The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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In 1902 George and Neal developed a revolutionary diet program. The program slowly grew and evolved until the 1950s and 1960s when it suddenly took off and became an incredible success. We marketed it as a system where you could eat delicious foods and get into great shape at the same time. The program was advertised extensively under a variety of names and titles and we are happy to report that today the Neal and George Diet Program is the most successful program in the country. Nearly everyone in America participates in the program and there are millions of branches across the country. The success of our program is even global with various franchises in just about every country in the world. In economically developed countries it is possible to even see our program in action in 10 or 12 locations simultaneously. Our program has evolved and developed into varieties that fit just about every lifestyle and situation. In fact, we're willing to be that you've participated in our program at least once in the last month, possibly even today. The program goes by several names, but the most common name used in popular culture is the Fast Food program. What? We never specified what shape you'd be in. Round is a shape! And we happen to think it's a great shape.

 

Unbeknownst to most people, the original Star Trek series was actually a documentary series about George and Neal's adventures. Captain Kirk and his crew were part of a film crew charged with a 5 year mission to explore planets and civilizations that were originally discovered and documented (and sometimes even created) by George and Neal during their adventures. The original catch phrase for the show was "To boldly go where no man (except for George and Neal) has gone before", however to better fit onto promotional posters (and since whether George and Neal were men or gods was a hotly debated topic in the late 1960's) it was shortened to the well known phrase, which I'm sure you are very familiar with. If not, then go ask a nerd.

 

In 1940 George and Neal wrote and released a song entitled Dreaming of a Purple Christmas. The song was mildly successful and in 1941 Irving Berlin wrote a parody called White Christmas. Oddly, the parody went on to garner more success than the original. In 1948 Doye O'Dell recorded Blue Christmas, a direct statement in support of colored Christmas songs. Over the next few years a whole slew of Christmas songs were released, each one promoting segregation of holiday colors. Tensions rose and things finally came to a head in the 1960s with the extremely controversial 1966 Grateful Dead song, Rainbow Christmas. On December 24, 1967 Martin Luther King Jr. spoke to a throng of millions during a Christmas Eve march to the Capital Plaza Mall.

"I had another dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their Christmas snow, but by the contents of their presents. I had another dream that one day Christmases will be celebrated with snow of all colors; red, green, white, blue, black, gray, and yellow. OK, maybe not the yellow snow, but you see where I'm going with this..."

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