The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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Entries From Friday, March 27, 2009

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3 Entries on This Page

 

In 2540 BCE George and Neal designed and supervised the construction of the great Pyramid at Giza. We didn't use slave labor like many historians suspect though. Instead we paid our employees handsomely. We provided full benefits, including family health insurance, 401K with matching contributions, stock options, profit sharing, paid vacation, travel reimbursement, relocation fees, and more. Our first 500 workers even got generous signing bonuses. Our construction company, called The Pyramid Scheme, was extremely successful and even went international, with various other designs built in places as far away as Sumeria (most notably in the city of Ur), China, Tlachihualtepetl and Tiwanaku in the Inca Empire, Hellinikon in Greece, for the Maori in Polynesia, North America, Africa, and even a few in Alaska and one in Antarctica.

 

On and off for 35,000 years George and Neal worked on hollowing out the Earth. The dirt we hauled out was used to make the moon. The interior of the Earth is inhabited by numerous prehistoric creatures, fantastic races of humans, and even creatures that the rest of the world believes to be mythical (unicorns, giants, C.H.U.D.s, cyclops, Paris Hilton, minotaurs, dragons, and smurfs are just a few). Our hollowed out Earth has inspired numerous stories (Jules Verne's Journey to the Center of the Earth, Edgar Allan Poe's The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket, Scrooge McDuck's Land Beneath the Ground!, and Frank C. Baxter's The Mole People to name a few) as well as pseudo-scientific cults like The Thule Society and the Steven Currey Expeditions who believe this is a natural phenomenon. It has also given rise to the theory that the moon is also hollow, which is just absurd.

 

In 1951, George and Neal decided to make a line of "Love Aid Rings" to sell to the public. Neal designed them based upon his own body, which he felt was of average proportion and size. People were not ready for such a product back in the 50's. That's okay, because they made a fortune after connecting the two ends to form a large hoop and re-marketing the product as the "hula hoop".

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