The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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In 2540 BCE George and Neal designed and supervised the construction of the great Pyramid at Giza. We didn't use slave labor like many historians suspect though. Instead we paid our employees handsomely. We provided full benefits, including family health insurance, 401K with matching contributions, stock options, profit sharing, paid vacation, travel reimbursement, relocation fees, and more. Our first 500 workers even got generous signing bonuses. Our construction company, called The Pyramid Scheme, was extremely successful and even went international, with various other designs built in places as far away as Sumeria (most notably in the city of Ur), China, Tlachihualtepetl and Tiwanaku in the Inca Empire, Hellinikon in Greece, for the Maori in Polynesia, North America, Africa, and even a few in Alaska and one in Antarctica.

 

In 1954 George and Neal patented a "Made in China" sticker that could be added to products that were made in China. Today production of our stickers has skyrocketed and we have expanded our product line to include "Made in Taiwan", "Made in Korea", "Made in Mexico", "Made in Honduras", and many other "Made in ..." stickers. We also produce stamps, tags, and labels. We are very proud of our business since all of our stickers and other items are 100% American Made and our factories employ 750,000 Americans and only 150,000 illegal immigrants. And our business is one of the few that keeps growing as more and more American manufacturing jobs are shipped overseas. We are happy to be doing our part to keep American jobs at home.

 

In 2022, at George and Neal's insistence (ok, it was actually persistence - we agreed to finally stop whining about it if the IOC included it - we can be very persuasive) Snowball Fights became an Olympic sport. USA won the first two Olympics with the event (mainly because the IOC refused to acknowledge it and there were no other competitors in 2022 and only Ghana in 2026). Unfortunately by 2041 global warming had progressed to the point where holding Winter Olympics was pretty pointless (the 2040 Olympics were mainly a soggy, slushy mess), so 2044 marked the first ever Spring Olympics (since Winter as a season no longer existed anywhere on Earth except Detroit for some reason, but no one wanted to travel there). Instead of Bobsled there was the Mudslide, Speed Skating became Liquid Mountaineering (look it up), and Snowball Fights became The Mud Sling. Throwing mud rekindled George and Neal's interest in the Olympics (they quickly realized in 2023 that snowball fights were a bit immature) and George and Neal promptly joined the 2048 US Olympic Mud Slinging Team where they led the team to 18 consecutive Olympic Mud Slinging Gold Medals (including 48 of the 51 World Mudslinging Championships in non-Olympic years - The Republican and Democratic parties won the other three years).

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