The Grand Saga of
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Clarissa (Neal) Explains It All. Well, Some of It. Poorly.

Views: 65/842
Added: 10/28/2016

George recently learned that when movie directors want to disown a horrible project, they would remove their name and instead use the pseudonym "Alan Smithee". Seeing a financial opportunity (and wishing to recoup the money Neal lost the two of them in a Fonzi Scheme), in 2065, George tried to convince Neal to change his name to Alan Smithee in order to obtain an ocean of royalty checks. Neal (now Alan) agreed. The plan worked, and Neal/Alan received a nice sum of money. However, they were not yet satisfied, and consequently to acquire more royalty checks, George changed his name to Julie Andrews, Julie changed her name to George Burns, and Clarissa changed her name to Neil Simon. (Believing this would become confusing, Neal told Clarissa, "Why don't I change my name to Neil Simon, and you can be Alan Smithee?" Clarissa replied, "That would be simply absurd.") Neal then suggested that he instead change his name to Clarissa Darling from the TV show Clarissa Explains It All, not realizing that fictional characters do not receive royalty checks. The plan worked, and they (once again) became rich beyond their wildest dreams (which is amazing, since their wildest dreams includes turning their entire bodies into platinum). However, it sure made get togethers confusing when George (Julie) wanted to talk to Neal (Clarissa), while George (Neal) and Neal (George) went off on one of their strange adventures.

Tags: 2065(1) Alan Smithee(1) Fonzi(1) Fonzi Scheme(1) George and Neal(2) George Burns(1) Julie Andrews(1) royalty checks(1) Thanksgiving(1)
Names Mentioned: Alan Smithee(1) Fonzi(2) George and Neal(1) George Burns(1) Julie Andrews(1)

 
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It's a buffet, not a Buffett...

Views: 20/117
Added: 08/06/2017

In 2121 Neal was stranded in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a desert island. However, Neal couldn't spell and thought he was on a dessert island. He spent the next year and a half eating nothing but sand, bark, and the occasional wandering crab, which he thought were cake crumbs, chocolate, and gummy crabs respectively. Somehow he survived, however this really did a number on his teeth, inspiring him to write the hit song "Teeth are for Wussies, so Give Edentulous a Chance". Ironically, George was also stranded in the middle of the ocean during the exact same time frame, but he was actually on a dessert island. He survived the 18 months on a diet of whipped cream, lollipops, and chocolate chip cookies. This inspired George to create the recipe for his tooth-whitening toothpaste. Also, ironically, George and Neal's islands were within swimming distance of each other, however Neal was too afraid of the salt in the ocean to swim over. (Well, according to George. According to Neal it was because George kept him away by brandishing licorice whips, but who are you gonna believe?) When George and Neal finally were rescued by some guy named Clem, they returned to the 1980's and put their latest creations to good use.

 

It's a buffet, not a Buffett... - Although it was in tropical latitudes, it's a good thing George had his winter gear.  All that ice cream made the air pretty chilly.  Yummy, but chilly.

Although it was in tropical latitudes, it's a good thing George had his winter gear. All that ice cream made the air pretty chilly. Yummy, but chilly.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1980s(7) 2121(3) clem(3) edentulous(2) George(3) george and neal(2) things neal eats(8) toothpaste(4)
Names Mentioned: jimmy buffett(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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