The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!
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What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece.
Entry Logged on: October 20, 2012 to Part 3 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)Page Views: 366 - Times Displayed: 21424
Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While the women were gone, George and Neal successfully fended for themselves and the kids, subsisting on a diet of ramen noodles and old fritos they found in couch cushions. Though neither George nor Neal nor the children changed their clothes during the entire time Clarissa and Julie were gone (7 days or 4,000 years depending on how you view time travel), the capable fathers made a game of it. Adin won 1st prize in "Who's That Smell?", an amateur game that George and Neal made up (which they later sold to the CNN network in 3014 - as at that time CNN ceased being a news network and reformed as a pornography / sitcom network). Meanwhile, Clarissa and Julie traveled to Ancient Greece, because Clarissa loves Greek food. Ironically, she felt that the food there didn't compare with the Greek food of 2012. Go figure. Upon their return, Julie and Clarissa refused to tell George and Neal what happened during their stay (because as we know, what happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece). Still, Julie and Clarissa must have had some trip, as now all depictions of the Greek Gods Hera and Aphrodite look exactly like them.
This picture was the inspiration for both the 12 hour clock, and erotic cakes. I'm not really sure how that last one relates, but, eh, there you go.
Photo by: Neal
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- 2012 - (13 Other Entries)
- Welcome aboard Adin! - In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and ad...
- Family Week - In September 2012 George took a short break from time travelling, changing history, and altering the laws of physics to spend some more time with his ...
- It's Magically Disgusting! - On April 12, 2012, the matching game, Candy Crush, was released on Facebook. Less than one year later, Candy Crush became the most popular game on Fa...
- America's Run Out of Talent - By 2012 NBC was having trouble finding people for its hit show "America's Got Talent". So they created a sequel, which George and Neal tried out for i...
- Welcome aboard Sam! - In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make ...
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- 3014 - (1 Other Entry)
- 3014 Was Weird - In 3014, feeling melancholy as a result of a worldwide illness that removed the human eye's ability to detect a significant amount of electromagnetic ...
- clarissa - (5 Other Entries)
- International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
- Lego Prison - In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators t...
- GONADS - In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device t...
- Them Amazing Ladies - In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ...
- Pleasurebots: The Origin - 2011: As a result of all of George and Neal's time traveling they were away from home a good portion of the time. In an effort to provide comfort to t...
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- food - (44 Other Entries)
- Tic Tac Toe... Eewwww... - In 2039 the game Tic Tac Toe had a huge resurgence in popularity when Neal discovered that the game had a hidden Easter Egg, where you could actually ...
- Get $245 Free (maybe) - In 1989 George and Neal were instrumental in the launch of the new chocolate DOVE Promises. Each wrapper featured an inspirational promise. Unfortunat...
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- Jaguanst Causes Climate Change - In a landmark, decade long study that George and Neal published the results of in 2012, it was discovered that the biggest cause of global warming was...
- Fear Factor Delicacies - In 1998, George convinced Neal to go on Fear Factor, where Neal went on to eat 50 scorpions, 12 worms, and over a hundred bull testicles. Neal later l...
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- games - (14 Other Entries)
- Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend - In 2022 Neal was having a mid-life crisis and had decided to head to Vegas to gamble his life savings away. George joined him thinking it would be a g...
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- george funk - (10 Other Entries)
- The Great Smog of '52 - In 1952 (but chronologically in 1997 during a trip in a time machine they co-invented) George and Neal visited London, resulting in the Great Smog of ...
- Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint - For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their for...
- Ice Cream Sandwich: The Origin - In 1931, Neal made the mistake of ordering 10,000 loaves of chocolate wafers. (Okay, it wasn't a mistake - he just liked chocolate. It was a weak mome...
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- gimme a break - (4 Other Entries)
- Restraining Orders Suck - Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawe...
- George Takes a Break - In April, 2016 George got tired of the whole ninja fighting and history manipulating thing. He decided to try something more relaxing and opened the M...
- Zoo Trip Time Machine - In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done t...
- 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
- julie - (4 Other Entries)
- 4 Already Displayed with Another Tag
- neal funk - (17 Other Entries)
- Going All Digital, and Clean(ish) - On February 9, 2009 by federal mandate George and Neal were required to go all digital. The mandate was immediately revoked and a new mandate required...
- Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless - In 1991, Neal organized a protest against brutality toward unicorns called Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless, or B.U.T.T. Decades later, George in...
- Paper Product Hoarders - In 1994 George began his extensive napkin collection. He collected paper cafeteria napkins and stored them in school lockers around the world. Aroun...
- Vatican Idol and Spin-offs - In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singi...
- Infecting 1002 - In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrive...
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- offspring - (12 Other Entries)
- Metric Woes - Unable to persuade America to convert to the Metric system, in 2087 George and Neal successfully convinced America to abandon their current measuring ...
- iKing George - In 1014, George founded the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia, and became King George I (known affectionately as iKing). Beginning in October of that year ...
- Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh.... - In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have b...
- It's All Relative - On April 1, 2010, George thought it would be a hilarious prank to go back in time and seduce Neal's great-grandmother. Consequently, George became Nea...
- El Niño and La Niña - On a trip to northwestern Peru in 1923 George and Neal both befriended and eventually married the Lopez sisters. The sisters gave birth to two childre...
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- time machine - (36 Other Entries)
- Here Be Dragons - On a trip back to 1227 BCE George and Neal discovered that dragons did in fact inhabit major portions of the earth. Different species of dragons lived...
- Saturday Night George - In 1993 George and Neal used the Time Machine in conjunction with the Teleportation Device and wound up in an alternate reality where families sit aro...
- The Multiverse - There are lots of stories about the Bermuda Triangle and how it causes ships and airplanes to mysteriously disappear. In actuality, this is the simply...
- Yes, they really said that. - In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly trave...
- George & Neal's Excellent Adventure - In 1988, Bill and Ted went on an excellent adventure. Nothing compared to the exploits of George and Neal, which the movie was based off of. However, ...
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- tv shows - (48 Other Entries)
- To boldly go... - Unbeknownst to most people, the original Star Trek series was actually a documentary series about George and Neal's adventures. Captain Kirk and his ...
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- The Heroic Journey of Two Wonderful, Influential, Benevolent Human Beings - George and Neal walked completely across the country and back in only three days back in 1986. Everyone was really impressed and George and Neal went ...
- There's Waldo!!! - In 1998, Neal became overwhelmingly frustrated when he tried to crack the mysteries of the complex literary tome, "Where's Waldo?" After a near-breakd...
- On Online Dating - After the success of online dating websites such as "Eharmony" and "J-Date" (a social/dating website for Jewish people), George and Neal created their...
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- wives - (14 Other Entries)
- There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
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- Duels of Toxicity - Beginning in 1777, every 4th of July, George and Neal would get together and throw a party for the most important and powerful American figures. The p...
- Everything is About George - After a heated debate with his wife where she stated, "Everything is not always about you, George!", George went back in time (just prior to the begin...
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- xxx - (10 Other Entries)
- Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Te...
- Cookin' with Martha and Neal - In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; howev...
- Neal's On Wheels - (Ahem). In 2040, Neal offered a new service to the general public, wherein he would transport people on his back while riding on roller skates. He cal...
- Neal Simon's Manhood - Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) th...
- Geal - In 1955, a small village in Transylvania attempted to assassinate George and Neal for inventing Pig Latin. All attempts were unsuccessful, in part bec...
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Other Posts:
- The Rolling Beatles - So very, very tired of endless "Beatles vs. Stones" arguments, in 2022, George and Neal decided to do the only logical thing to resolve the issue: go ...
- Science Donations - In 1999, Neal tried to give his body to science. After 30 days, his body was returned as being defective.
- Cow Experimentation - In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high in...
- The Dark Ages: The Origin - In about 480 AD the sun broke. In 1111 AD George and Neal invented a new, more efficient sun. That's why that period in history is known as the Dark A...
- Slap-Bracelets: The Origin - In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustratio...
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