The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!
Not Conspiracy Theories
Entry Logged on: February 16, 2009 to Part 1 by: GeorgePage Views: 377 - Times Displayed: 8347
There are conspiracy theories, and then there's the truth. And here it is, at long last. There was no UFO crash at Roswell. It wasn't a weather balloon either though. During another time travel journey George and Neal let one of their genetic experiments borrow the hover car they stole from a trip to the year 2121. Poor creature wrecked the car and got grounded for a month. There was also no moon landing, although NASA will dispute that. But that's to be expected, since George and Neal masterminded the entire event. NASA truly does believe they landed on the moon, but they were actually diverted to a massive litter box in south eastern Algeria by our Super Gravitational Ray Bender (also stolen from the year 2121). We just didn't think the world was ready for the knowledge that the moon is in fact made of cheese. But not dairy cheese, we're talking stuff like cheap watches, gaudy jewelry, game show hosts, '80s fashions, bad jokes, crappy rest area souvenirs, pet rocks, mood rings, Wayne Newton, Dollywood, puns, "... and all I got was this t-shirt" t-shirts, dollar store toys, B movies, and other "cheesy" stuff.
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- 2121 - (2 Other Entries)
- They're Not Imaginary Afterall - Between January 2111 and August 2121 George and Neal set out on a quest to discover as many creatures generally thought to be imaginary as possible. O...
- It's a buffet, not a Buffett... - In 2121 Neal was stranded in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a desert island. However, Neal couldn't spell and thought he was on a dessert island....
- aliens - (4 Other Entries)
- Area 51¾ - Area 51 - There is no such thing. I repeat, there is no such thing as Area 51. Area 51¾, however has been kept such a great secret by George and Neal ...
- Apollo 19 - In July 1972 George and Neal were members of the Apollo 19 mission to the moon. After landing in the Hyginus Rille region-Linear Rille, crater area. W...
- Napoleon's iPod: The Origin - In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the lo...
- Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
- celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
- Bob Ross: The Origin - In 1968 George and Neal trained a kitten to paint. That kitten in turn trained Bob Ross to paint. Bob Ross in turn taught countless of people to paint...
- Documentaries - Throughout the years George and Neal have helped create several famous documentaries, including Gheorghe Marinescu's "The walking troubles of organic ...
- Definitely not Vain - In 1988, Neal and Billy Joel started a fire. Billy Joel denies it. In 2000, Carly Simon admitted she wrote "You're so Vain" about her 10-month, steamy...
- Vintage Escher Architecture - For Rent - Speaking of M.C. Escher, in 1955, George and Neal once rented an apartment from him. On the plus side, the rent was very low for such a roomy place. T...
- Lady Gaga vs P!nk - In 2011 the debate over which female music artist was the craziest resulted in a UFC cage match between Lady Gaga and P!nk. The match lasted 12 hours ...
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- cheese - (No Other Entries)
- conspiracy theories - (6 Other Entries)
- The Multiverse - There are lots of stories about the Bermuda Triangle and how it causes ships and airplanes to mysteriously disappear. In actuality, this is the simply...
- Johnson & Johnson's in Rock & Roll - During their chronal adventures, Neal and George discovered a deep, dark secret of the music industry. Apparently for years the Johnson & Johnson com...
- Hollow Earth - On and off for 35,000 years George and Neal worked on hollowing out the Earth. The dirt we hauled out was used to make the moon. The interior of the E...
- Illuminati, New World Order, Bilderberg Group, Committee of 300, the Freemasons, Skull & Bones, The Stonecutters, and the Shriners - George and Neal are the Illuminati and the New World Order. We lead the Bilderberg Group and organize the annual Bilderberg Conference. Our headquarte...
- We're Not Bigfoot - George and Neal are both virile, macho men - so much so that if they did not shave for two days, hair would grow all over their body, making them look...
- Show All...
- genetics - (15 Other Entries)
- Cow Experimentation - In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high in...
- Fun With Genetics - Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted li...
- Godzilla - In 1954, Neal and George worked in Japan assisting scientists with all sorts of experiments. (The boys secretly volunteered because they enjoyed drink...
- Sciuridaetopia Invades - In 2014 the United States was overrun by a large number of giant squirrels. Apparently our neighbor, Sciuridaetopia had been conducting top secret gen...
- There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
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- moon - (1 Other Entry)
- 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
- time machine - (36 Other Entries)
- Saturday Night George - In 1993 George and Neal used the Time Machine in conjunction with the Teleportation Device and wound up in an alternate reality where families sit aro...
- An end to worldwide tortoise hunger! - In 2008, George and Neal became extremely productive after discovering they could use their time machine to sleep 9 hours each night, while only reall...
- Feats of Strength!™ - In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using ...
- Joanie Loves Churros - In 1978 a temporary glitch in George and Neal's Time Machine (well, not so much a glitch as Neal spilling a tub of Tang drink mix onto the controls - ...
- The Evian Mobile - In 1910 George and Neal, knowing the future issues that would be caused by the pollution from combustion engines, invented a highly efficient hydrogen...
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Other Posts:
- Poor, poor Clem... - These used to be "The Grand Saga of George, Neal, and Clem's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!" but at some point, due to a glitch in t...
- Handlebar Mustache: The Origin - In 1815 George invented the handlebar mustache; however no one understood the name. So in 1817 he invented the velocipede and suddenly everyone knew w...
- Golden Spleens - In 4539 George and Neal decided to dabble in alchemy and turned themselves into golden statues. Luckily the effects were only temporary and by 5935 t...
- Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution - In 1981 George founded the Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution (M.U.T.E.); the most prestigious school of ventriloquism, and the only one to o...
- Restraining Orders Suck - Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawe...
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