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Not Conspiracy Theories

Entry Logged on: February 16, 2009 to Part 1 by: George
Page Views: 422 - Times Displayed: 8902

There are conspiracy theories, and then there's the truth. And here it is, at long last. There was no UFO crash at Roswell. It wasn't a weather balloon either though. During another time travel journey George and Neal let one of their genetic experiments borrow the hover car they stole from a trip to the year 2121. Poor creature wrecked the car and got grounded for a month. There was also no moon landing, although NASA will dispute that. But that's to be expected, since George and Neal masterminded the entire event. NASA truly does believe they landed on the moon, but they were actually diverted to a massive litter box in south eastern Algeria by our Super Gravitational Ray Bender (also stolen from the year 2121). We just didn't think the world was ready for the knowledge that the moon is in fact made of cheese. But not dairy cheese, we're talking stuff like cheap watches, gaudy jewelry, game show hosts, '80s fashions, bad jokes, crappy rest area souvenirs, pet rocks, mood rings, Wayne Newton, Dollywood, puns, "... and all I got was this t-shirt" t-shirts, dollar store toys, B movies, and other "cheesy" stuff.

Tags: 2121(3) aliens(5) celebrities(69) cheese(1) conspiracy theories(7) genetics(16) moon(2) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: dollywood(1) nasa(2) roswell(1) wayne newton(1)
Entry Logged By: George

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Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: dollywood(1), nasa(2), roswell(1), wayne newton(1)

Tags:
  • 2121 - (2 Other Entries)
    • It's a buffet, not a Buffett... - In 2121 Neal was stranded in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a desert island. However, Neal couldn't spell and thought he was on a dessert island....
    • They're Not Imaginary Afterall - Between January 2111 and August 2121 George and Neal set out on a quest to discover as many creatures generally thought to be imaginary as possible. O...
  • aliens - (4 Other Entries)
    • Area 51¾ - Area 51 - There is no such thing. I repeat, there is no such thing as Area 51. Area 51¾, however has been kept such a great secret by George and Neal ...
    • Apollo 19 - In July 1972 George and Neal were members of the Apollo 19 mission to the moon. After landing in the Hyginus Rille region-Linear Rille, crater area. W...
    • Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
    • Napoleon's iPod: The Origin - In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the lo...
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • Having Doubts... - At 12:56am on Friday, July 10, 2009 George wondered if anyone ever reads The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pu...
    • Marshmonica as Endorsed by John Popper - Dateline, 2058: In an effort to feed as well as entertain the homeless, George and Neal invented the first edible harmonica. Much to George's dismay, ...
    • 3014 Was Weird - In 3014, feeling melancholy as a result of a worldwide illness that removed the human eye's ability to detect a significant amount of electromagnetic ...
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
    • That Crazy Bette - On April 25, 2014 Bette Midler was finally successful in her dastardly plot to capture Neal and George. Using a baked lasagna she was able to lure th...
    • Show All...
  • cheese - (No Other Entries)
  • conspiracy theories - (6 Other Entries)
  • genetics - (15 Other Entries)
    • Them Amazing Ladies - In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ...
    • Cow Experimentation - In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high in...
    • Fun With Genetics - Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted li...
    • The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland) - In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they g...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • Show All...
  • moon - (1 Other Entry)
    • 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
  • time machine - (36 Other Entries)
    • Facebroke - On June 1, 2009 Neal broke Facebook, preventing George from uploading his latest awesome photos. This apparent sabotage was too little, too late for H...
    • Here Be Dragons - On a trip back to 1227 BCE George and Neal discovered that dragons did in fact inhabit major portions of the earth. Different species of dragons lived...
    • Restraining Orders Suck - Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawe...
    • He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!' - The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police ...
    • Feats of Strength!™ - In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using ...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Hair, Inc. - In 1964 George and Neal started their niche business "Hair, Inc." in which they supplied the hair for your favorite rock stars and other celebrities. ...
  • Lego Prison - In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators t...
  • Tic-Tac-Toe-Two - George and Neal have an unhealthy obsession with Milton Bradley and other board games. This obsession, however, has proven beneficial. For instance Ge...
  • When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin - In 1906 George accidentally originated the popular phrase "When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade." This phrase was later published in Volume 26, ...
  • Kick-Ball Ball-Kick - Striking a blow for ball rights everywhere (Editor's note: I'm not touching that one - literally or figuratively), in 1973, George and Neal created th...


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