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Not Conspiracy Theories

Entry Logged on: February 16, 2009 to Part 1 by: George
Page Views: 397 - Times Displayed: 8640

There are conspiracy theories, and then there's the truth. And here it is, at long last. There was no UFO crash at Roswell. It wasn't a weather balloon either though. During another time travel journey George and Neal let one of their genetic experiments borrow the hover car they stole from a trip to the year 2121. Poor creature wrecked the car and got grounded for a month. There was also no moon landing, although NASA will dispute that. But that's to be expected, since George and Neal masterminded the entire event. NASA truly does believe they landed on the moon, but they were actually diverted to a massive litter box in south eastern Algeria by our Super Gravitational Ray Bender (also stolen from the year 2121). We just didn't think the world was ready for the knowledge that the moon is in fact made of cheese. But not dairy cheese, we're talking stuff like cheap watches, gaudy jewelry, game show hosts, '80s fashions, bad jokes, crappy rest area souvenirs, pet rocks, mood rings, Wayne Newton, Dollywood, puns, "... and all I got was this t-shirt" t-shirts, dollar store toys, B movies, and other "cheesy" stuff.

Tags: 2121(3) aliens(5) celebrities(69) cheese(1) conspiracy theories(7) genetics(16) moon(2) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: dollywood(1) nasa(2) roswell(1) wayne newton(1)
Entry Logged By: George

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Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: dollywood(1), nasa(2), roswell(1), wayne newton(1)

Tags:
  • 2121 - (2 Other Entries)
    • It's a buffet, not a Buffett... - In 2121 Neal was stranded in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a desert island. However, Neal couldn't spell and thought he was on a dessert island....
    • They're Not Imaginary Afterall - Between January 2111 and August 2121 George and Neal set out on a quest to discover as many creatures generally thought to be imaginary as possible. O...
  • aliens - (4 Other Entries)
    • Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
    • Area 51¾ - Area 51 - There is no such thing. I repeat, there is no such thing as Area 51. Area 51¾, however has been kept such a great secret by George and Neal ...
    • Napoleon's iPod: The Origin - In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the lo...
    • Apollo 19 - In July 1972 George and Neal were members of the Apollo 19 mission to the moon. After landing in the Hyginus Rille region-Linear Rille, crater area. W...
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • 2008 Election Campaigns - During the 2008 election season, George and Neal were hired by Barack Obama's marketing team to come up with catchy ditties about the man. After writi...
    • Bob, I miss my testicles, you jerk! - In 1988, George and Neal created cats and dogs with opposable thumbs and above-average intellects. Everyone was thrilled with the evolutionary jump - ...
    • Sinatra Sluggers - In 1970, Neal and George went back in time to punch Frank Sinatra in the gut. Not because we had anything against Frank Sinatra per se, but rather bec...
    • The George and Neal Newsnetwork - In 2040, Neal and George created a television news program devoted solely to chronicling their (mis)adventures, called the George and Neal Newsnetwork...
    • That Crazy Bette - On April 25, 2014 Bette Midler was finally successful in her dastardly plot to capture Neal and George. Using a baked lasagna she was able to lure th...
    • Show All...
  • cheese - (No Other Entries)
  • conspiracy theories - (6 Other Entries)
  • genetics - (15 Other Entries)
    • Cow Experimentation - In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high in...
    • Them Amazing Ladies - In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ...
    • The Lazy X - In 1987, while working on their little known chromosome research project, George and Neal discovered that the Y chromosome was merely a "lazy X" chrom...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • The ChickenPede - In 1996 George and Neal cross bred a centipede with a chicken (that was one wild night, let me tell you). The resulting mutant became a favored pet of...
    • Show All...
  • moon - (1 Other Entry)
    • 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
  • time machine - (36 Other Entries)
    • Zoo Trip Time Machine - In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done t...
    • The Great Smog of '52 - In 1952 (but chronologically in 1997 during a trip in a time machine they co-invented) George and Neal visited London, resulting in the Great Smog of ...
    • Who's the Bossasaur? - In 1904, just one year after Elmer Riggs published his paper stating that Apatosaurus and Brontosaurus were the same creature, George and Neal discove...
    • Nobody does the weather like Neal (and that's a good thing). - In 2023 George and Neal each got jobs as meteorologists for competing local Chicago VV stations (VV will be the replacement for TV in the future). Bot...
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Bum Ba Bum, Ba Bum Bum... - In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum securi...
  • iKing George - In 1014, George founded the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia, and became King George I (known affectionately as iKing). Beginning in October of that year ...
  • Religious iDeals - In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of...
  • Neal Simon's Manhood - Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) th...
  • Tic-Tac-Toe-Two - George and Neal have an unhealthy obsession with Milton Bradley and other board games. This obsession, however, has proven beneficial. For instance Ge...


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