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Metric Woes

Entry Logged on: September 02, 2009 to Part 2 by: Neal
Page Views: 172 - Times Displayed: 5641

Unable to persuade America to convert to the Metric system, in 2087 George and Neal successfully convinced America to abandon their current measuring system in favor of the "Jarmonorgeal" system. Unfortunately, the Jarmonorgeal system did not alleviate mathematical confusion but rather enhanced it considerably. For example, 10 meters were equal to 3 Georges, whereas 20 meters equaled 4.25 Georges, or a "Neal and a Half". You could go from Maine to Louisiana in just 16 Mikes; but 10 Mikes equaled one Adin, and confusingly Earth was only 2 Adin's distance in circumference (although it should be noted that "circumference" was now arbitrarily renamed "Earth's Beer Gut" - which in itself makes no sense). Realizing their (one and only) error, George and Neal decided to travel to Washington D.C. to repeal the law which adopted the Jarmonorgeal measuring system.... except they never made it, as due to a measuring error they accidentally overshot D.C. by a George and three quarters, which meant they ended in Thailand somehow. (Why this measuring system continued to use halves and quarters continued to be a mystery...)

Tags: 2087(1) failures(22) inventions(49) laws(10) nicknames(14) offspring(13)
Names Mentioned: america(8) louisiana(1) maine(1) thailand(1) washington d c(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

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Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: america(8), louisiana(1), maine(1), thailand(1), washington d c(1)

Tags:
  • 2087 - (No Other Entries)
  • failures - (21 Other Entries)
    • Joy to Everyone! - In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make C...
    • 1945, Tigers/Cubs, Game 4 of the World Series - In 1945, George and Neal decided to go to a Tigers/Cubs game - fatefully, it was Game 4 of the World Series. During the game, George complained of a s...
    • HeadPeriodical - In an effort to compete with Facebook, during 2011, Neal and George created the newest online community, HeadPeriodical. Seen by most as a cheap rip-o...
    • It Hood Ats Fla Was - In 2014, George decided that he could make a better dictation-to-text program than what was currently available (such as Dragon Dictation and Apple's ...
    • Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh.... - In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have b...
    • Show All...
  • inventions - (48 Other Entries)
    • The ChickenPede - In 1996 George and Neal cross bred a centipede with a chicken (that was one wild night, let me tell you). The resulting mutant became a favored pet of...
    • President Obama's Education Recovery Effort - In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up...
    • The Evian Mobile - In 1910 George and Neal, knowing the future issues that would be caused by the pollution from combustion engines, invented a highly efficient hydrogen...
    • Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin - They also built a time machine, accidentally, while trying to fix a blender. The blender was originally broken when George and Neal decided to make "R...
    • It's Convenient: The Origin - In 711 AD on July 11th at 7:11pm George and Neal invented the convenience store. Then, in 1927 some guy named Joe Thompson completely ripped off our i...
    • Show All...
  • laws - (9 Other Entries)
    • P & VP - Through a series of mishaps and mistaken identities, for a three-day period in 1943 George and Neal assumed the position of President and Vice Preside...
    • We the Bad-Ass Americans - George and Neal went on a vacation/bender in 1776 (again with the time machine). Luckily, though wackiness ensued, nothing was altered in our time-lin...
    • Lego Prison - In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators t...
    • Constitutionally Safe - A 1934 proposed amendment to the Constitution would have prevented George and Neal from having anything to do with interfering in global events again....
    • Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System - In 1758 George and Neal invented tooth paste. Their first attempt was made from actual ground up teeth and was used to hold in dentures, but eventuall...
    • Show All...
  • nicknames - (13 Other Entries)
    • On Online Dating - After the success of online dating websites such as "Eharmony" and "J-Date" (a social/dating website for Jewish people), George and Neal created their...
    • Witness Protection - In 1992, when they were prime witnesses in the trial of Chicago's Polish Mafia boss Mogul Downhillski, George and Neal entered witness protection wher...
    • Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch Gang - For a few years near the end of the 19th century George and Neal organized several bands of outlaws and robbed banks and trains in the old west. We we...
    • He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!' - The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police ...
    • Chronal Warriors George - With the success of Hasbro's Transformers and G.I. Joe toy lines, rival toy company Tonka sought to create their own action figure toy lines. After a...
    • Show All...
  • offspring - (12 Other Entries)
    • Family Week - In September 2012 George took a short break from time travelling, changing history, and altering the laws of physics to spend some more time with his ...
    • GONADS - In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device t...
    • Zoo Trip Time Machine - In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done t...
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Ralph Malph - In 1920, George unfortunately lost millions investing in a ponzi scheme, in which his investments were used to pay earlier investors. In 1979, Neal lo...
  • Like a Boss - Tired of all the speculation, George went back to 1984 and showed the world who was the boss. It was George.
  • Couch Potatoes Illustrated - Hearing about the steep decline in readers for magazines such as Sports Illustrated and Men's Health, George and Neal decided to start their own magaz...
  • George & Neal's Excellent Adventure - In 1988, Bill and Ted went on an excellent adventure. Nothing compared to the exploits of George and Neal, which the movie was based off of. However, ...
  • The Great Smog of '52 - In 1952 (but chronologically in 1997 during a trip in a time machine they co-invented) George and Neal visited London, resulting in the Great Smog of ...


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