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GONADS

Entry Logged on: October 04, 2009 to Part 3 by: George
Page Views: 323 - Times Displayed: 10444

In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device takes prenatal learning programs (like Lullabelly, Bellysonic and FirstSounds) one step further and incorporates the latest developments in Gene Expression and Epigenetics research. The device uses a combination of audio and magnetic signals to actually educate gametes (sperm and egg cells). Using techniques discovered through epigenetics research we can ensure that information learned by sperm and egg cells is actually passed on to successive generations. Purchase one today and your children and grandchildren will be smarter! Purchase one for your children and your grandchildren and great grandchildren will be even smarter. Give your descendants the head start they need to compete in the highly competitive future (take it from us, we've been there). Your descendants can get into the best schools, land the best jobs, and get the highest scores in Donkey Kong. If you don't buy our GONADS you don't love your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great... You get the picture. Neal, along with George's wife Julie, helped promote the GONADS with an international lecture tour in late 2010, demonstrating the effects of using the device (the time machine was used to secretly fit the GONADS to Julie's great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents) versus a non-educated genetic history (Neal's ancestors were not fitted with the device). Millions were convinced that the device works as advertised.

Tags: 2009(21) 2010(16) business ventures(46) clarissa(6) genetics(16) inventions(49) julie(5) offspring(13) relationships(6) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: bellysonic(1) donkey kong(1) firstsounds(1) lullabelly(1)
Entry Logged By: George

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: bellysonic(1), donkey kong(1), firstsounds(1), lullabelly(1)

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  • 2009 - (20 Other Entries)
    • The Recession of 2009: The Origin - On 2/27/2009 George was too busy and too tired to do anything more than just embellish a bit. So he made up some random dribble just to take up some s...
    • Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce - In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superio...
    • Zoo Trip Time Machine - In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done t...
    • Neal Simon's Manhood - Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) th...
    • Rudolph: The Origin - In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape ...
    • Show All...
  • 2010 - (15 Other Entries)
    • Infecting 1002 - In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrive...
    • iKing George - In 1014, George founded the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia, and became King George I (known affectionately as iKing). Beginning in October of that year ...
    • Fotomat Selfie - As a result of Instagram’s success in 2010, on April 1, 2010 George and Neal went back to 1980 and changed the names of all the “FotoMats” to “Sometim...
    • Igpay Atinlay: The Origin - Onway ethay iptray ackbay otay 2010 Ealnay andway Eorgegay accidentallyway entway otay 2010 BCEAY. Erethay eythay inventedway Igpay Atinlay. Ethay ang...
    • Snoutbook - In the latter half of the middle third of the eighth month of 2010 George and Neal started a new social networking site dedicated solely to the most t...
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  • business ventures - (45 Other Entries)
    • George Takes a Break - In April, 2016 George got tired of the whole ninja fighting and history manipulating thing. He decided to try something more relaxing and opened the M...
    • New George and New Neal - On April 23, 1985, Coca-Cola changed its formula and released the New Coke. Not to be outdone, George and Neal intentionally altered their DNA to crea...
    • Hair, Inc. - In 1964 George and Neal started their niche business "Hair, Inc." in which they supplied the hair for your favorite rock stars and other celebrities. ...
    • Couch Potatoes Illustrated - Hearing about the steep decline in readers for magazines such as Sports Illustrated and Men's Health, George and Neal decided to start their own magaz...
    • The Evian Mobile - In 1910 George and Neal, knowing the future issues that would be caused by the pollution from combustion engines, invented a highly efficient hydrogen...
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  • clarissa - (5 Other Entries)
    • Lego Prison - In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators t...
    • Pleasurebots: The Origin - 2011: As a result of all of George and Neal's time traveling they were away from home a good portion of the time. In an effort to provide comfort to t...
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
    • Them Amazing Ladies - In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ...
    • International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
    • Show All...
  • genetics - (15 Other Entries)
    • Not Conspiracy Theories - There are conspiracy theories, and then there's the truth. And here it is, at long last. There was no UFO crash at Roswell. It wasn't a weather balloo...
    • The Lazy X - In 1987, while working on their little known chromosome research project, George and Neal discovered that the Y chromosome was merely a "lazy X" chrom...
    • The Damnation that was Smurfs - In 2099 scientists astounded the world by developing genetically engineered little blue creatures that wore nothing but white pants and hats. OK, so ...
    • The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland) - In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they g...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • Show All...
  • inventions - (48 Other Entries)
    • We Didn't Do 'Q' - In 1669 Neal invented the ellipses (...), however his first version was flawed. George suggested adding two more dots so that people would stop confus...
    • PDD Reactor - In 2068 George and Neal invented the PDD Reactor, a source of nearly endless energy. It converts Poopy Disposable Diapers into highly efficient energy...
    • Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin - They also built a time machine, accidentally, while trying to fix a blender. The blender was originally broken when George and Neal decided to make "R...
    • Binabble and Mon-opoly - Also in 2006, George invented a scrabble board game, called "Binabble" and instead of letters, you could only use 1's and 0's. The game didn't sell ve...
    • Bucket Run - George was not the inventor of the famed "bucket run" at U of I, despite the widely held belief (the original bucket run was not actually invented, bu...
    • Show All...
  • julie - (4 Other Entries)
    • 4 Already Displayed with Another Tag
  • offspring - (12 Other Entries)
    • It's All Relative - On April 1, 2010, George thought it would be a hilarious prank to go back in time and seduce Neal's great-grandmother. Consequently, George became Nea...
    • El Niño and La Niña - On a trip to northwestern Peru in 1923 George and Neal both befriended and eventually married the Lopez sisters. The sisters gave birth to two childre...
    • Welcome aboard Adin! - In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and ad...
    • Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh.... - In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have b...
    • Welcome aboard Sam! - In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make ...
    • Show All...
  • relationships - (5 Other Entries)
    • Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson - Unbeknownst to many, and typical for a Hollywood film, 2000s blockbuster hit Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was nowhere near as good as the Broadway m...
    • From the generic - From the generic "How Do You Know" fields:Lived together?You lived in Sin in 1998.You lived in a van down by the river (but we swear nothing steamy ha...
    • On Online Dating - After the success of online dating websites such as "Eharmony" and "J-Date" (a social/dating website for Jewish people), George and Neal created their...
    • 2 Already Displayed with Another Tag
    • Show All...
  • wives - (14 Other Entries)
    • Everything is About George - After a heated debate with his wife where she stated, "Everything is not always about you, George!", George went back in time (just prior to the begin...
    • He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!' - The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police ...
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
    • Duels of Toxicity - Beginning in 1777, every 4th of July, George and Neal would get together and throw a party for the most important and powerful American figures. The p...
    • Historic 10 year journey from Chicago to DeKalb - Just last year George and Neal began their historic 10 year journey from Chicago to DeKalb. Currently they're stuck in traffic and just called their w...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Why Read For Free What You Can Pay Money For? - Then there was the time that the entire George and Neal saga appeared in book purchasable book form, on Blurb.com (http://www.blurb.com/b/8323918-the-...
  • Just Good Ol' Boys - In 1982 Neal and George played the roles of Coy and Vance respectively when John Schneider and Tom Wopat (Bo and Luke) walked off the set of the Dukes...
  • 2008 Election Campaigns - During the 2008 election season, George and Neal were hired by Barack Obama's marketing team to come up with catchy ditties about the man. After writi...
  • 1945, Tigers/Cubs, Game 4 of the World Series - In 1945, George and Neal decided to go to a Tigers/Cubs game - fatefully, it was Game 4 of the World Series. During the game, George complained of a s...
  • The 3 Stooges: The Origin - In 1933, Columbia's "3 Nice Regular Guys" premiered, starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and George Jaros. The three produced 25 eight-to-twelve minute ...


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