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GONADS

Entry Logged on: October 04, 2009 to Part 3 by: George
Page Views: 301 - Times Displayed: 10146

In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device takes prenatal learning programs (like Lullabelly, Bellysonic and FirstSounds) one step further and incorporates the latest developments in Gene Expression and Epigenetics research. The device uses a combination of audio and magnetic signals to actually educate gametes (sperm and egg cells). Using techniques discovered through epigenetics research we can ensure that information learned by sperm and egg cells is actually passed on to successive generations. Purchase one today and your children and grandchildren will be smarter! Purchase one for your children and your grandchildren and great grandchildren will be even smarter. Give your descendants the head start they need to compete in the highly competitive future (take it from us, we've been there). Your descendants can get into the best schools, land the best jobs, and get the highest scores in Donkey Kong. If you don't buy our GONADS you don't love your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great... You get the picture. Neal, along with George's wife Julie, helped promote the GONADS with an international lecture tour in late 2010, demonstrating the effects of using the device (the time machine was used to secretly fit the GONADS to Julie's great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents) versus a non-educated genetic history (Neal's ancestors were not fitted with the device). Millions were convinced that the device works as advertised.

Tags: 2009(21) 2010(16) business ventures(46) clarissa(6) genetics(16) inventions(49) julie(5) offspring(13) relationships(6) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: bellysonic(1) donkey kong(1) firstsounds(1) lullabelly(1)
Entry Logged By: George

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: bellysonic(1), donkey kong(1), firstsounds(1), lullabelly(1)

Tags:
  • 2009 - (20 Other Entries)
    • March of 2009 - In March of 2009 George traveled back to February of 2009 just to make this entry in this list of great accomplishments.
    • Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - 680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmind...
    • Going All Digital, and Clean(ish) - On February 9, 2009 by federal mandate George and Neal were required to go all digital. The mandate was immediately revoked and a new mandate required...
    • International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
    • Rudolph: The Origin - In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape ...
    • Show All...
  • 2010 - (15 Other Entries)
    • The Twelve Step Approach - In 2010 George insisted Neal seek therapy to break his addiction to board games. Neal entered the program but came out six weeks later with a great id...
    • President Obama's Education Recovery Effort - In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up...
    • It's Magically Disgusting! - On April 12, 2012, the matching game, Candy Crush, was released on Facebook. Less than one year later, Candy Crush became the most popular game on Fa...
    • Infecting 1002 - In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrive...
    • Damn you, Midler! - In 2010 George and Neal single handedly (well, I guess double-handedly) save the US from a great depression, by creating a new industry devoted solely...
    • Show All...
  • business ventures - (45 Other Entries)
    • Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch - In 2000 George and Neal traveled to Africa and met Mr. Fred Abeku, the present branch Manager of Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch, opp...
    • Just don't use it on your clothes, please. - In 2048, Neal claimed to invent an invisibility potion, and thereafter used the potion to open up many financially successful invisible zoos. George l...
    • Hair, Inc. - In 1964 George and Neal started their niche business "Hair, Inc." in which they supplied the hair for your favorite rock stars and other celebrities. ...
    • Big Triangular Shaped Buildings - In 2540 BCE George and Neal designed and supervised the construction of the great Pyramid at Giza. We didn't use slave labor like many historians susp...
    • Don't Let Coronavirus Cancel Your Wedding - In 1921 George and Neal founded their bridal fashion line. Unfortunately George and Neal knew absolutely nothing about bridal fashion and their compa...
    • Show All...
  • clarissa - (5 Other Entries)
    • Them Amazing Ladies - In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ...
    • Pleasurebots: The Origin - 2011: As a result of all of George and Neal's time traveling they were away from home a good portion of the time. In an effort to provide comfort to t...
    • Lego Prison - In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators t...
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
    • 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
    • Show All...
  • genetics - (15 Other Entries)
    • The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland) - In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they g...
    • The Damnation that was Smurfs - In 2099 scientists astounded the world by developing genetically engineered little blue creatures that wore nothing but white pants and hats. OK, so ...
    • The Lazy X - In 1987, while working on their little known chromosome research project, George and Neal discovered that the Y chromosome was merely a "lazy X" chrom...
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
    • Cow Experimentation - In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high in...
    • Show All...
  • inventions - (48 Other Entries)
    • Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce - In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superio...
    • A Meme is Born - LOLcats: The Origin - In 1821 George and Neal had a very nice lunch with Charles Babbage, but at one point George brought out his laptop for a quick check of his Facebook a...
    • We Didn't Do 'Q' - In 1669 Neal invented the ellipses (...), however his first version was flawed. George suggested adding two more dots so that people would stop confus...
    • Love Aid Rings - In 1951, George and Neal decided to make a line of "Love Aid Rings" to sell to the public. Neal designed them based upon his own body, which he felt w...
    • Ice Cream Sandwich: The Origin - In 1931, Neal made the mistake of ordering 10,000 loaves of chocolate wafers. (Okay, it wasn't a mistake - he just liked chocolate. It was a weak mome...
    • Show All...
  • julie - (4 Other Entries)
    • 4 Already Displayed with Another Tag
  • offspring - (12 Other Entries)
    • It's All Relative - On April 1, 2010, George thought it would be a hilarious prank to go back in time and seduce Neal's great-grandmother. Consequently, George became Nea...
    • Welcome aboard Adin! - In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and ad...
    • El Niño and La Niña - On a trip to northwestern Peru in 1923 George and Neal both befriended and eventually married the Lopez sisters. The sisters gave birth to two childre...
    • Metric Woes - Unable to persuade America to convert to the Metric system, in 2087 George and Neal successfully convinced America to abandon their current measuring ...
    • Welcome aboard Sam! - In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make ...
    • Show All...
  • relationships - (5 Other Entries)
    • iKing George - In 1014, George founded the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia, and became King George I (known affectionately as iKing). Beginning in October of that year ...
    • From the generic - From the generic "How Do You Know" fields:Lived together?You lived in Sin in 1998.You lived in a van down by the river (but we swear nothing steamy ha...
    • Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson - Unbeknownst to many, and typical for a Hollywood film, 2000s blockbuster hit Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was nowhere near as good as the Broadway m...
    • On Online Dating - After the success of online dating websites such as "Eharmony" and "J-Date" (a social/dating website for Jewish people), George and Neal created their...
    • 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
    • Show All...
  • wives - (14 Other Entries)
    • Historic 10 year journey from Chicago to DeKalb - Just last year George and Neal began their historic 10 year journey from Chicago to DeKalb. Currently they're stuck in traffic and just called their w...
    • Everything is About George - After a heated debate with his wife where she stated, "Everything is not always about you, George!", George went back in time (just prior to the begin...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • Zoo Trip Time Machine - In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done t...
    • He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!' - The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police ...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Who's the Bossasaur? - In 1904, just one year after Elmer Riggs published his paper stating that Apatosaurus and Brontosaurus were the same creature, George and Neal discove...
  • Teleportation - After beginning to run out of material to add to the "Facebook Edit-Off" competition in year 6 of said competition, George and Neal decided to invent ...
  • 2008 Election Campaigns - During the 2008 election season, George and Neal were hired by Barack Obama's marketing team to come up with catchy ditties about the man. After writi...
  • No One Out Quotes The Donald - Did you know that George and Neal have written speeches for so many great politicians? Some of their best work includes:“I cannot tell you how gratef...
  • The Multiverse - There are lots of stories about the Bermuda Triangle and how it causes ships and airplanes to mysteriously disappear. In actuality, this is the simply...


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