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GONADS

Entry Logged on: October 04, 2009 to Part 3 by: George
Page Views: 361 - Times Displayed: 11007

In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device takes prenatal learning programs (like Lullabelly, Bellysonic and FirstSounds) one step further and incorporates the latest developments in Gene Expression and Epigenetics research. The device uses a combination of audio and magnetic signals to actually educate gametes (sperm and egg cells). Using techniques discovered through epigenetics research we can ensure that information learned by sperm and egg cells is actually passed on to successive generations. Purchase one today and your children and grandchildren will be smarter! Purchase one for your children and your grandchildren and great grandchildren will be even smarter. Give your descendants the head start they need to compete in the highly competitive future (take it from us, we've been there). Your descendants can get into the best schools, land the best jobs, and get the highest scores in Donkey Kong. If you don't buy our GONADS you don't love your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great... You get the picture. Neal, along with George's wife Julie, helped promote the GONADS with an international lecture tour in late 2010, demonstrating the effects of using the device (the time machine was used to secretly fit the GONADS to Julie's great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents) versus a non-educated genetic history (Neal's ancestors were not fitted with the device). Millions were convinced that the device works as advertised.

Tags: 2009(21) 2010(16) business ventures(46) clarissa(6) genetics(16) inventions(49) julie(5) offspring(13) relationships(6) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: bellysonic(1) donkey kong(1) firstsounds(1) lullabelly(1)
Entry Logged By: George

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: bellysonic(1), donkey kong(1), firstsounds(1), lullabelly(1)

Tags:
  • 2009 - (20 Other Entries)
    • Zoo Trip Time Machine - In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done t...
    • The Cure! - In 2018 George and Neal discovered a cure for the common cold. Well, not really discovered, but just stumbled upon. Well, not really stumbled upon, mo...
    • March of 2009 - In March of 2009 George went back to February of 2009 and added another entry to this list of great accomplishments. This was George's laziest way to ...
    • People Against Kneeling - In October 2009, Neal was kidnapped by the group, People Against Kneeling (or PAK; male members are known as PAK-Men and those married to PAK-Men may ...
    • Just Another Barbecue - In the summer of 2009, George and Neal had a barbecue. (Hey, not everything is as exciting as time traveling or fighting off townspeople.) Oh yeah, th...
    • Show All...
  • 2010 - (15 Other Entries)
    • Fotomat Selfie - As a result of Instagram’s success in 2010, on April 1, 2010 George and Neal went back to 1980 and changed the names of all the “FotoMats” to “Sometim...
    • Damn you, Midler! - In 2010 George and Neal single handedly (well, I guess double-handedly) save the US from a great depression, by creating a new industry devoted solely...
    • The Twelve Step Approach - In 2010 George insisted Neal seek therapy to break his addiction to board games. Neal entered the program but came out six weeks later with a great id...
    • Johnson & Johnson's in Rock & Roll - During their chronal adventures, Neal and George discovered a deep, dark secret of the music industry. Apparently for years the Johnson & Johnson com...
    • Snoutbook - In the latter half of the middle third of the eighth month of 2010 George and Neal started a new social networking site dedicated solely to the most t...
    • Show All...
  • business ventures - (45 Other Entries)
    • The Evian Mobile - In 1910 George and Neal, knowing the future issues that would be caused by the pollution from combustion engines, invented a highly efficient hydrogen...
    • Tooth-whitening Toothpaste - George and Neal hit great fame in the late '80s after successfully marketing a tooth-whitening toothpaste. However, when it was discovered that the "p...
    • Cold Fusion - In 2035 George and Neal (using their time machine again) discovered the secret to producing Cold Fusion power. Unfortunately at the time they didn't r...
    • Mmmmmmm... George Juice! - For unexplained reasons, George loves to bathe in Worcestershire sauce (which Dictionary.com defines as a "savory sauce of vinegar, soy sauce and spic...
    • Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce - In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superio...
    • Show All...
  • clarissa - (5 Other Entries)
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
    • Lego Prison - In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators t...
    • Them Amazing Ladies - In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ...
    • International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
    • Pleasurebots: The Origin - 2011: As a result of all of George and Neal's time traveling they were away from home a good portion of the time. In an effort to provide comfort to t...
    • Show All...
  • genetics - (15 Other Entries)
    • Not Conspiracy Theories - There are conspiracy theories, and then there's the truth. And here it is, at long last. There was no UFO crash at Roswell. It wasn't a weather balloo...
    • Cow Experimentation - In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high in...
    • Sciuridaetopia Invades - In 2014 the United States was overrun by a large number of giant squirrels. Apparently our neighbor, Sciuridaetopia had been conducting top secret gen...
    • The Damnation that was Smurfs - In 2099 scientists astounded the world by developing genetically engineered little blue creatures that wore nothing but white pants and hats. OK, so ...
    • Mace, the other Dark Side - Darth Vader was not Luke's father. A paternity test by Maury Povich revealed to Vader that "You are NOT the father!". After checking six other poten...
    • Show All...
  • inventions - (48 Other Entries)
    • Bucket Run - George was not the inventor of the famed "bucket run" at U of I, despite the widely held belief (the original bucket run was not actually invented, bu...
    • Handlebar Mustache: The Origin - In 1815 George invented the handlebar mustache; however no one understood the name. So in 1817 he invented the velocipede and suddenly everyone knew w...
    • Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh.... - In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have b...
    • The Prolific Pancake Pileup - Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that...
    • Lava Lamps: The Origin - In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward...
    • Show All...
  • julie - (4 Other Entries)
    • 4 Already Displayed with Another Tag
  • offspring - (12 Other Entries)
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
    • El Niño and La Niña - On a trip to northwestern Peru in 1923 George and Neal both befriended and eventually married the Lopez sisters. The sisters gave birth to two childre...
    • It's All Relative - On April 1, 2010, George thought it would be a hilarious prank to go back in time and seduce Neal's great-grandmother. Consequently, George became Nea...
    • Welcome aboard Adin! - In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and ad...
    • iKing George - In 1014, George founded the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia, and became King George I (known affectionately as iKing). Beginning in October of that year ...
    • Show All...
  • relationships - (5 Other Entries)
    • On Online Dating - After the success of online dating websites such as "Eharmony" and "J-Date" (a social/dating website for Jewish people), George and Neal created their...
    • From the generic - From the generic "How Do You Know" fields:Lived together?You lived in Sin in 1998.You lived in a van down by the river (but we swear nothing steamy ha...
    • Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson - Unbeknownst to many, and typical for a Hollywood film, 2000s blockbuster hit Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was nowhere near as good as the Broadway m...
    • 2 Already Displayed with Another Tag
    • Show All...
  • wives - (14 Other Entries)
    • Historic 10 year journey from Chicago to DeKalb - Just last year George and Neal began their historic 10 year journey from Chicago to DeKalb. Currently they're stuck in traffic and just called their w...
    • Duels of Toxicity - Beginning in 1777, every 4th of July, George and Neal would get together and throw a party for the most important and powerful American figures. The p...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • Everything is About George - After a heated debate with his wife where she stated, "Everything is not always about you, George!", George went back in time (just prior to the begin...
    • He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!' - The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police ...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire - In 2006, Neal appeared on the television spin off, "Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire". Neal did not win the hundred dollars.
  • After-School Specials - In the mid 1980's, Neal and George were hired by ABC to produce a series of after-school specials. Those of you who grew up in the 80's may remember (...
  • Like a Boss - Tired of all the speculation, George went back to 1984 and showed the world who was the boss. It was George.
  • Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
  • The Great Smog of '52 - In 1952 (but chronologically in 1997 during a trip in a time machine they co-invented) George and Neal visited London, resulting in the Great Smog of ...


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