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Vatican Idol and Spin-offs

Entry Logged on: June 02, 2009 to Part 2 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)
Page Views: 360 - Times Displayed: 14135

In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singing, weird eyebrows, crooked teeth, mismatched nostrils.... [editor's note: many of Neal's failings have been deleted to preserve Facebook's memory/storage]), Neal prompted George to create Vatican Idol, which he would then try out for. As Vatican City is the smallest country in the world by both area and population (pop: 900), Neal was sure to win the title. Or so he thought. Voted "Vatican City's 900th best singer," Neal suffered through the worst of Simon Cowell's caustic remarks, including: "I have seen more talent contained in the bowels of a seven-day-deceased rodent," "I would rather listen to spider-monkeys mating than hear another second of you singing", and "Despite the fact that all you did was sing, I can unequivocally say that you are the worst human being ever to exist on the face of the planet." Ouch. Neal then set his sights on performing in So You Think You Can Dance?. That, too, went poorly. Hopefully he will fare better on George's newest show, So You Think You Can Sit?.

 

Vatican Idol and Spin-offs - So tense... So exciting... Can you stay in your seat?

So tense... So exciting... Can you stay in your seat?

Photo by: Neal

George, on the other hand, began producing hit after hit in the reality programming world, including: The Amazing Standing In Place, Britain's Got Teeth Problems, and The Last Accountant Standing.

 

Britain's Got Teeth Problems - Stereotypes have never seemed so fun!

Stereotypes have never seemed so fun!

Photo by: Neal

 

The Last Accountant Standing - File this... under awesome!

File this... under awesome!

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2007(2) britain(9) celebrities(69) failures(22) neal funk(18) neal's fashion sense(21) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: amazing race(1) american idol(1) bbc(1) bet(1) britain's got talent(1) fox(2) last comic standing(1) simon cowell(1) so you think you can dance(2) vatican(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)

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Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: amazing race(1), american idol(1), bbc(1), bet(1), britain's got talent(1), fox(2), last comic standing(1), simon cowell(1), so you think you can dance(2), vatican(3)

Tags:
  • 2007 - (1 Other Entry)
    • Hair, Inc. - In 1964 George and Neal started their niche business "Hair, Inc." in which they supplied the hair for your favorite rock stars and other celebrities. ...
  • britain - (8 Other Entries)
    • The Great Smog of '52 - In 1952 (but chronologically in 1997 during a trip in a time machine they co-invented) George and Neal visited London, resulting in the Great Smog of ...
    • Viking/English Hostility - On June 8, 793 AD George and Neal orchestrated the first Viking attack on England; the raid on the monastery of Lindisfarne in Northumbria. This was t...
    • Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System - In 1758 George and Neal invented tooth paste. Their first attempt was made from actual ground up teeth and was used to hold in dentures, but eventuall...
    • Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
    • Feats of Strength!™ - In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using ...
    • Show All...
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • KISS - George and Neal were once part of the rock band KISS, but left the band in 1974 because they didn't think makeup of a raccoon and chimp respectively w...
    • Dirk Diggler Ain't Got Nothin' - In 1991, Neal and George were beaten up by "Marky Mark" Wahlberg and 1 member of his Funky Bunch (specifically, Hector the Bootie Inspector). After kn...
    • Fun With Genetics - Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted li...
    • Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend - In 2022 Neal was having a mid-life crisis and had decided to head to Vegas to gamble his life savings away. George joined him thinking it would be a g...
    • Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
    • Show All...
  • failures - (21 Other Entries)
    • A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... - A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, nothing happened because Star Wars was just a story made up by George Lucas (although the plot was loosely...
    • Science Donations - In 1999, Neal tried to give his body to science. After 30 days, his body was returned as being defective.
    • Samhain and Zarathosht Diso - A second attempt to unite the religious holidays of Samhain and Zarathosht Diso was equally disastrous since neither of them was Wiccan or Zoroastrian...
    • Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire - In 2006, Neal appeared on the television spin off, "Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire". Neal did not win the hundred dollars.
    • Slap-Bracelets: The Origin - In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustratio...
    • Show All...
  • neal funk - (17 Other Entries)
    • The Cure! - In 2018 George and Neal discovered a cure for the common cold. Well, not really discovered, but just stumbled upon. Well, not really stumbled upon, mo...
    • 1945, Tigers/Cubs, Game 4 of the World Series - In 1945, George and Neal decided to go to a Tigers/Cubs game - fatefully, it was Game 4 of the World Series. During the game, George complained of a s...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • Lego Prison - In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators t...
    • Going All Digital, and Clean(ish) - On February 9, 2009 by federal mandate George and Neal were required to go all digital. The mandate was immediately revoked and a new mandate required...
    • Show All...
  • neal's fashion sense - (20 Other Entries)
    • Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)... - George was originally cast in the lead role as Michael Knight for the 1980's TV series Knight Rider, however due to conflicting interests (George was ...
    • We'd Need a Thneed Indeed! - In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industr...
    • Love those Anne Geddes baby-flower costumes. - For some unknown reason Japanese people like to take photographs of George. Only Neal likes to take photos of Neal, in those Anne Geddes baby-flower c...
    • Monkey Back Guarantee! - In 2030, it became extremely fashionable to have a hairy back. To cash in on this trend, George and Neal created a lotion that would increase the hai...
    • Nealotards - For six years, from 2021 to 2027 Neal tried very hard to get the world to pick up male-leotards as the latest fashion trend (he called them Nealotards...
    • Show All...
  • tv shows - (48 Other Entries)
    • Welcome Back Potter - Overwhelmed by the success of the Harry Potter franchise (books, movies, games, cereals, tampons, etc.) and eager to revive the 1970's sitcoms, in 200...
    • America's Run Out of Talent - By 2012 NBC was having trouble finding people for its hit show "America's Got Talent". So they created a sequel, which George and Neal tried out for i...
    • To boldly go... - Unbeknownst to most people, the original Star Trek series was actually a documentary series about George and Neal's adventures. Captain Kirk and his ...
    • What's a Typewriter? - In 2025 George and Neal received a grant from the US government to study the long held belief that if you give a billion monkeys a billion typewriters...
    • Just Good Ol' Boys - In 1982 Neal and George played the roles of Coy and Vance respectively when John Schneider and Tom Wopat (Bo and Luke) walked off the set of the Dukes...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • An end to worldwide tortoise hunger! - In 2008, George and Neal became extremely productive after discovering they could use their time machine to sleep 9 hours each night, while only reall...
  • Igpay Atinlay: The Origin - Onway ethay iptray ackbay otay 2010 Ealnay andway Eorgegay accidentallyway entway otay 2010 BCEAY. Erethay eythay inventedway Igpay Atinlay. Ethay ang...
  • George and Neal and the Masters of the Universe - In 1981, after the character Orko appeared in the cartoon He-Man, in a move that confused most of the world, Neal sued the cartoon company for infring...
  • George let the dogs out! - In 1998 George let the dogs out, but he let them back in as soon as they were finished doing their duty. Anslem Douglas didn't believe him though and...
  • Back Surgey - In 1997 both Neal and George had major back surgery after carrying one too many bathtubs full of caffeinated, carbonated, goodness. For any normal hum...


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