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Vatican Idol and Spin-offs

Entry Logged on: June 02, 2009 to Part 2 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)
Page Views: 271 - Times Displayed: 12711

In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singing, weird eyebrows, crooked teeth, mismatched nostrils.... [editor's note: many of Neal's failings have been deleted to preserve Facebook's memory/storage]), Neal prompted George to create Vatican Idol, which he would then try out for. As Vatican City is the smallest country in the world by both area and population (pop: 900), Neal was sure to win the title. Or so he thought. Voted "Vatican City's 900th best singer," Neal suffered through the worst of Simon Cowell's caustic remarks, including: "I have seen more talent contained in the bowels of a seven-day-deceased rodent," "I would rather listen to spider-monkeys mating than hear another second of you singing", and "Despite the fact that all you did was sing, I can unequivocally say that you are the worst human being ever to exist on the face of the planet." Ouch. Neal then set his sights on performing in So You Think You Can Dance?. That, too, went poorly. Hopefully he will fare better on George's newest show, So You Think You Can Sit?.

 

Vatican Idol and Spin-offs - So tense... So exciting... Can you stay in your seat?

So tense... So exciting... Can you stay in your seat?

Photo by: Neal

George, on the other hand, began producing hit after hit in the reality programming world, including: The Amazing Standing In Place, Britain's Got Teeth Problems, and The Last Accountant Standing.

 

Britain's Got Teeth Problems - Stereotypes have never seemed so fun!

Stereotypes have never seemed so fun!

Photo by: Neal

 

The Last Accountant Standing - File this... under awesome!

File this... under awesome!

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2007(2) britain(9) celebrities(69) failures(22) neal funk(18) neal's fashion sense(21) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: amazing race(1) american idol(1) bbc(1) bet(1) britain's got talent(1) fox(2) last comic standing(1) simon cowell(1) so you think you can dance(2) vatican(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)

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Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: amazing race(1), american idol(1), bbc(1), bet(1), britain's got talent(1), fox(2), last comic standing(1), simon cowell(1), so you think you can dance(2), vatican(3)

Tags:
  • 2007 - (1 Other Entry)
    • Hair, Inc. - In 1964 George and Neal started their niche business "Hair, Inc." in which they supplied the hair for your favorite rock stars and other celebrities. ...
  • britain - (8 Other Entries)
    • The Great Smog of '52 - In 1952 (but chronologically in 1997 during a trip in a time machine they co-invented) George and Neal visited London, resulting in the Great Smog of ...
    • Feats of Strength!™ - In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using ...
    • The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland) - In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they g...
    • President Obama's Education Recovery Effort - In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up...
    • Viking/English Hostility - On June 8, 793 AD George and Neal orchestrated the first Viking attack on England; the raid on the monastery of Lindisfarne in Northumbria. This was t...
    • Show All...
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • Worst... Enya... Ever... - George was the fifth Beatle. However, due to a problem with the time machine, he had to forsake this role, give up fame and fortune and return to his ...
    • That Crazy Bette - On April 25, 2014 Bette Midler was finally successful in her dastardly plot to capture Neal and George. Using a baked lasagna she was able to lure th...
    • Not Conspiracy Theories - There are conspiracy theories, and then there's the truth. And here it is, at long last. There was no UFO crash at Roswell. It wasn't a weather balloo...
    • Don Cherry's Wardrobe: The Origin - George and Neal are in charge or Don Cherry's wardrobe.
    • Aracauna Flu - In 2068 George and Neal accidentally engineered a new strain of the flu virus, called Aracauna Flu, and then subsequently became the first people to c...
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  • failures - (21 Other Entries)
    • Tooth-whitening Toothpaste - George and Neal hit great fame in the late '80s after successfully marketing a tooth-whitening toothpaste. However, when it was discovered that the "p...
    • Joy to Everyone! - In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make C...
    • Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh.... - In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have b...
    • It Hood Ats Fla Was - In 2014, George decided that he could make a better dictation-to-text program than what was currently available (such as Dragon Dictation and Apple's ...
    • A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... - A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, nothing happened because Star Wars was just a story made up by George Lucas (although the plot was loosely...
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  • neal funk - (17 Other Entries)
    • Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint - For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their for...
    • Infecting 1002 - In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrive...
    • Paper Product Hoarders - In 1994 George began his extensive napkin collection. He collected paper cafeteria napkins and stored them in school lockers around the world. Aroun...
    • New George and New Neal - On April 23, 1985, Coca-Cola changed its formula and released the New Coke. Not to be outdone, George and Neal intentionally altered their DNA to crea...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • Show All...
  • neal's fashion sense - (20 Other Entries)
    • Synchronized Swimming - Remember Karate Kid? Well, George and Neal faced off against each other in a similar competition, except it was not Karate, but rather synchronized sw...
    • 1945, Tigers/Cubs, Game 4 of the World Series - In 1945, George and Neal decided to go to a Tigers/Cubs game - fatefully, it was Game 4 of the World Series. During the game, George complained of a s...
    • The Fashionably Endangered Rosea Zebra - In the 1980s George and Neal discovered the rare Rosea Zebra, or Pink Zebra. These zebras are native to just a very small part of Africa and their di...
    • Monkey Back Guarantee! - In 2030, it became extremely fashionable to have a hairy back. To cash in on this trend, George and Neal created a lotion that would increase the hai...
    • They're Not Imaginary Afterall - Between January 2111 and August 2121 George and Neal set out on a quest to discover as many creatures generally thought to be imaginary as possible. O...
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  • tv shows - (48 Other Entries)
    • Nanas & Tiaras - Sickened by the inappropriate nature of the popular show "Toddlers & Tiaras", in 2018 George and Neal created a much more family-friendly rival show,...
    • Skullets Rock! - In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick ...
    • Ralph Malph - In 1920, George unfortunately lost millions investing in a ponzi scheme, in which his investments were used to pay earlier investors. In 1979, Neal lo...
    • iKing George - In 1014, George founded the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia, and became King George I (known affectionately as iKing). Beginning in October of that year ...
    • The 3 Stooges: The Origin - In 1933, Columbia's "3 Nice Regular Guys" premiered, starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and George Jaros. The three produced 25 eight-to-twelve minute ...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Happy Apocalypse Eve! - On December 20, 2012 George and Neal discovered that the world was not in fact ending, according to previous beliefs based on the Mayan calendar. Rath...
  • Monuments to Greatness - Gutzon Borglum originally had six faces carved on Mount Rushmore. The busts of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Abe Lincoln w...
  • Facebook Edit-Off - In early 2009, George and Neal began their epic "Facebook Edit-Off" competition, which spanned eleven years, and over ten thousand pages of irrelevant...
  • We talked in haiku, | And then in anagrams, too. | Darned nuts, understand? - For a period of six months, George and Neal spoke only in haiku - followed by another period where they spoke only in anagrams. No one understood a si...
  • It Stinks! - Thanks to the success of nasty food television shows such as Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, and Worst Cooks in America, by 2019 there were no foo...


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