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Lava Lamps: The Origin

Entry Logged on: April 11, 2014 to Part 3 by: George - Photos by: George (1)
Page Views: 300 - Times Displayed: 8100

In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward Craven-Walker stole Neal's idea. Craven-Walker's variation was much more successful and in 1968 he was awarded a patent for his design, something denied Neal because Craven-Walker's lamps used a combination of mineral oil, paraffin wax, and carbon tetrachloride instead of Neal's disturbingly un-hygenic formula of sebum, ear wax, and pus. Someday we'll tell you about how George had the original idea for the Squirmle Magic Pet Worm, but we'll let you recover from the lava lamp thing first.

 

Lava Lamps: The Origin - It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much.  They had a tendency to explode.  And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place.  (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)

It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much. They had a tendency to explode. And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place. (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)

Photo by: George

Tags: 1960(1) 1963(2) 1968(4) blends(3) body parts(14) business ventures(44) first(3) inspirations(19) inventions(48) mental trauma(8) neal funk(18) people of history(33) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: Edward Craven-Walker(1) lava lamp(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: Edward Craven-Walker(1), lava lamp(1)

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  • 1960 - (No Other Entries)
  • 1963 - (1 Other Entry)
    • Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint - For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their for...
  • 1968 - (3 Other Entries)
    • The Rolling Beatles - So very, very tired of endless "Beatles vs. Stones" arguments, in 2022, George and Neal decided to do the only logical thing to resolve the issue: go ...
    • Monuments to Greatness - Gutzon Borglum originally had six faces carved on Mount Rushmore. The busts of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Abe Lincoln w...
    • Bob Ross: The Origin - In 1968 George and Neal trained a kitten to paint. That kitten in turn trained Bob Ross to paint. Bob Ross in turn taught countless of people to paint...
  • blends - (2 Other Entries)
    • When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin - In 1906 George accidentally originated the popular phrase "When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade." This phrase was later published in Volume 26, ...
    • EastKippur - In an effort to unify religions, George and Neal combined Easter and Yom Kippur, (known as "EastKippur"). Unfortunately, this resulted in a cruel iron...
  • body parts - (13 Other Entries)
    • The Opposable Nose: The Origin - In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. Ho...
    • Darwin Loves Us! - In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection t...
    • Feats of Strength!™ - In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using ...
    • Back Surgey - In 1997 both Neal and George had major back surgery after carrying one too many bathtubs full of caffeinated, carbonated, goodness. For any normal hum...
    • Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
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  • business ventures - (43 Other Entries)
    • Get $245 Free (maybe) - In 1989 George and Neal were instrumental in the launch of the new chocolate DOVE Promises. Each wrapper featured an inspirational promise. Unfortunat...
    • We'd Need a Thneed Indeed! - In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industr...
    • President Obama's Education Recovery Effort - In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up...
    • In the Beginning... AKA: The Origin - Neal met George workin' on the farm. George always promised Neal he'd see the rabbits.After a falling out, they met years later on a city bus. Wait, d...
    • Hair, Inc. - In 1964 George and Neal started their niche business "Hair, Inc." in which they supplied the hair for your favorite rock stars and other celebrities. ...
    • Show All...
  • first - (2 Other Entries)
    • Just a little background... - ###Just a little background - This entire story was listed in the "Details on how you know each other" section of Facebook. Unfortunately the field fo...
    • 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
  • inspirations - (18 Other Entries)
    • A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... - A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, nothing happened because Star Wars was just a story made up by George Lucas (although the plot was loosely...
    • Need More Conventions!!! - By 2031 there were so many comic conventions and expos (including Comic-Con, WizCon, APE, C2E2, WonderCon, Comikaze, C4, MegaCon, Sac-Con, Pros & Con,...
    • Say Anything (That Won't Get You Arrested) - In 1988 Neal's infatuation with John Cusack reached an all-time high. John was generally pretty cool with it, but during the filming of Say Anything ...
    • George Spores - In September 1928, Neal and George decided to attempt to clone themselves so that future generations could benefit from their awesomeness. Neal believ...
    • Make the Trains Run on Thyme - Mussolini got his idea to tell everyone that he made the trains run on time after George and Neal invented a train that ran on thyme (Benito simply mi...
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  • inventions - (47 Other Entries)
    • Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System - In 1758 George and Neal invented tooth paste. Their first attempt was made from actual ground up teeth and was used to hold in dentures, but eventuall...
    • GONADS - In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device t...
    • Emoticlish - Emoticons will become the dominant language in 2028 for nearly every nation. In the rare nation that does not adopt Emoticlish (as it is referred to i...
    • We Didn't Do 'Q' - In 1669 Neal invented the ellipses (...), however his first version was flawed. George suggested adding two more dots so that people would stop confus...
    • In Great Shape - In 1902 George and Neal developed a revolutionary diet program. The program slowly grew and evolved until the 1950s and 1960s when it suddenly took of...
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  • mental trauma - (7 Other Entries)
    • Yes, they really said that. - In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly trave...
    • Aging gracefully... - Although principles of space-time restrict George and Neal from interacting with their older or younger selves (without proper precautions there is a ...
    • There's Waldo!!! - In 1998, Neal became overwhelmingly frustrated when he tried to crack the mysteries of the complex literary tome, "Where's Waldo?" After a near-breakd...
    • Clean, Efficient, Traumatizing Feeble Power - In 1998, George decided to traumatize Neal by forcing him to watch Peter Jackson's lesser known muppets-on-drugs movie, Meet the Feebles. Neal has bee...
    • After-School Specials - In the mid 1980's, Neal and George were hired by ABC to produce a series of after-school specials. Those of you who grew up in the 80's may remember (...
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  • neal funk - (17 Other Entries)
    • Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless - In 1991, Neal organized a protest against brutality toward unicorns called Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless, or B.U.T.T. Decades later, George in...
    • Paper Product Hoarders - In 1994 George began his extensive napkin collection. He collected paper cafeteria napkins and stored them in school lockers around the world. Aroun...
    • Science Donations - In 1999, Neal tried to give his body to science. After 30 days, his body was returned as being defective.
    • Vatican Idol and Spin-offs - In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singi...
    • Infecting 1002 - In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrive...
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  • people of history - (32 Other Entries)
    • Napoleon's iPod: The Origin - In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the lo...
    • Who's the Bossasaur? - In 1904, just one year after Elmer Riggs published his paper stating that Apatosaurus and Brontosaurus were the same creature, George and Neal discove...
    • Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch Gang - For a few years near the end of the 19th century George and Neal organized several bands of outlaws and robbed banks and trains in the old west. We we...
    • Team Ghandi - In 1972, not satisfied with only two teams, Neal and George created Chicago's third major league baseball team, Team Ghandi. Unfortunately, the team n...
    • The Fountain of Youth - In 1609 George and Neal discovered the Fountain of Youth in Florida, just where Ponce de Leon thought it was. We kept the fountain's location a secret...
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  • they stole our ideas - (6 Other Entries)
    • The DHARMA Initiative - In 1973, Neal and George co-founded the DHARMA initiative (yeah, those Lost guys got the idea from us), in an effort to prevent the pending apocalypse...
    • He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!' - The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police ...
    • Allergic to Peanuts - In 1950 George created a comic strip about a short bald kid that everyone picked on. The strip competed closely with another very similar comic strip ...
    • The Georgeless Bunch - In 1969, George was up for the role as Greg Brady on the show The Brady Bunch. However, George did not get the part due to "accidentally" throwing a f...
    • It's Convenient: The Origin - In 711 AD on July 11th at 7:11pm George and Neal invented the convenience store. Then, in 1927 some guy named Joe Thompson completely ripped off our i...
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View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Those Look Like Comfortable Shoes - In 1937, scientist Daniel Bovet created the first antihistamine to combat allergies. Flash forward forty years later, to 1977 - another allergy-relat...
  • Ten Cent Beer Night - On June 4th, 1974 George and Neal organized the first (and last) ever Ten Cent Beer Night at the Cleveland Municipal Stadium. The event was both a rag...
  • Neality TV - After the success of the show "The L-Word", Neal and George produced a television show based upon Neal's life. In retrospect, it should have been obvi...
  • The Prolific Pancake Pileup - Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that...
  • Measure Your Spaghetti - In 2018 George and Neal were invited to appear before the entire US Government to talk about their accomplishments. The talk started out normal enough...


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