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Lava Lamps: The Origin

Entry Logged on: April 11, 2014 to Part 3 by: George - Photos by: George (1)
Page Views: 471 - Times Displayed: 10605

In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward Craven-Walker stole Neal's idea. Craven-Walker's variation was much more successful and in 1968 he was awarded a patent for his design, something denied Neal because Craven-Walker's lamps used a combination of mineral oil, paraffin wax, and carbon tetrachloride instead of Neal's disturbingly un-hygenic formula of sebum, ear wax, and pus. Someday we'll tell you about how George had the original idea for the Squirmle Magic Pet Worm, but we'll let you recover from the lava lamp thing first.

 

Lava Lamps: The Origin - It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much. They had a tendency to explode. And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place. (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)

It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much. They had a tendency to explode. And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place. (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)

Photo by: George

Tags: 1960(1) 1963(2) 1968(4) blends(3) body parts(14) business ventures(46) first(3) inspirations(19) inventions(49) mental trauma(8) neal funk(18) people of history(33) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: Edward Craven-Walker(1) lava lamp(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
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  • 1960 - (No Other Entries)
  • 1963 - (1 Other Entry)
    • Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint - For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their for...
  • 1968 - (3 Other Entries)
    • The Rolling Beatles - So very, very tired of endless "Beatles vs. Stones" arguments, in 2022, George and Neal decided to do the only logical thing to resolve the issue: go ...
    • Bob Ross: The Origin - In 1968 George and Neal trained a kitten to paint. That kitten in turn trained Bob Ross to paint. Bob Ross in turn taught countless of people to paint...
    • Monuments to Greatness - Gutzon Borglum originally had six faces carved on Mount Rushmore. The busts of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Abe Lincoln w...
  • blends - (2 Other Entries)
    • EastKippur - In an effort to unify religions, George and Neal combined Easter and Yom Kippur, (known as "EastKippur"). Unfortunately, this resulted in a cruel iron...
    • When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin - In 1906 George accidentally originated the popular phrase "When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade." This phrase was later published in Volume 26, ...
  • body parts - (13 Other Entries)
    • Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
    • The Opposable Nose: The Origin - In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. Ho...
    • Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System - In 1758 George and Neal invented tooth paste. Their first attempt was made from actual ground up teeth and was used to hold in dentures, but eventuall...
    • Back Surgey - In 1997 both Neal and George had major back surgery after carrying one too many bathtubs full of caffeinated, carbonated, goodness. For any normal hum...
    • Feats of Strength!™ - In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using ...
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  • business ventures - (45 Other Entries)
    • In Great Shape - In 1902 George and Neal developed a revolutionary diet program. The program slowly grew and evolved until the 1950s and 1960s when it suddenly took of...
    • Just don't use it on your clothes, please. - In 2048, Neal claimed to invent an invisibility potion, and thereafter used the potion to open up many financially successful invisible zoos. George l...
    • We'd Need a Thneed Indeed! - In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industr...
    • The ChickenPede - In 1996 George and Neal cross bred a centipede with a chicken (that was one wild night, let me tell you). The resulting mutant became a favored pet of...
    • In the Beginning... AKA: The Origin - Neal met George workin' on the farm. George always promised Neal he'd see the rabbits.After a falling out, they met years later on a city bus. Wait, d...
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  • first - (2 Other Entries)
    • Just a little background... - ###Just a little background - This entire story was listed in the "Details on how you know each other" section of Facebook. Unfortunately the field fo...
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  • inspirations - (18 Other Entries)
    • 1964 through 1969 - In 1983 Neal and George co-wrote a short story that chronicled their adventures from 1964 through 1969. The story was well received in the literary co...
    • Yes, they really said that. - In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly trave...
    • George Spores - In September 1928, Neal and George decided to attempt to clone themselves so that future generations could benefit from their awesomeness. Neal believ...
    • Godzilla - In 1954, Neal and George worked in Japan assisting scientists with all sorts of experiments. (The boys secretly volunteered because they enjoyed drink...
    • Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)... - George was originally cast in the lead role as Michael Knight for the 1980's TV series Knight Rider, however due to conflicting interests (George was ...
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  • inventions - (48 Other Entries)
    • The Prolific Pancake Pileup - Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that...
    • Bucket Run - George was not the inventor of the famed "bucket run" at U of I, despite the widely held belief (the original bucket run was not actually invented, bu...
    • The Evian Mobile - In 1910 George and Neal, knowing the future issues that would be caused by the pollution from combustion engines, invented a highly efficient hydrogen...
    • Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin - They also built a time machine, accidentally, while trying to fix a blender. The blender was originally broken when George and Neal decided to make "R...
    • Emoticlish - Emoticons will become the dominant language in 2028 for nearly every nation. In the rare nation that does not adopt Emoticlish (as it is referred to i...
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  • mental trauma - (7 Other Entries)
    • Say Anything (That Won't Get You Arrested) - In 1988 Neal's infatuation with John Cusack reached an all-time high. John was generally pretty cool with it, but during the filming of Say Anything ...
    • After-School Specials - In the mid 1980's, Neal and George were hired by ABC to produce a series of after-school specials. Those of you who grew up in the 80's may remember (...
    • The Wilhelm Scream and Other Sounds - The Wilhelm Scream is pretty well known for being a sound effect used in many, many movies. What is less well known is that George and Neal also prov...
    • Aging gracefully... - Although principles of space-time restrict George and Neal from interacting with their older or younger selves (without proper precautions there is a ...
    • Clean, Efficient, Traumatizing Feeble Power - In 1998, George decided to traumatize Neal by forcing him to watch Peter Jackson's lesser known muppets-on-drugs movie, Meet the Feebles. Neal has bee...
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  • neal funk - (17 Other Entries)
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
    • New George and New Neal - On April 23, 1985, Coca-Cola changed its formula and released the New Coke. Not to be outdone, George and Neal intentionally altered their DNA to crea...
    • Infecting 1002 - In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrive...
    • The Great Smog of '52 - In 1952 (but chronologically in 1997 during a trip in a time machine they co-invented) George and Neal visited London, resulting in the Great Smog of ...
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
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  • people of history - (32 Other Entries)
    • Hollow Earth - On and off for 35,000 years George and Neal worked on hollowing out the Earth. The dirt we hauled out was used to make the moon. The interior of the E...
    • Who's the Bossasaur? - In 1904, just one year after Elmer Riggs published his paper stating that Apatosaurus and Brontosaurus were the same creature, George and Neal discove...
    • George & Neal's Excellent Adventure - In 1988, Bill and Ted went on an excellent adventure. Nothing compared to the exploits of George and Neal, which the movie was based off of. However, ...
    • Duels of Toxicity - Beginning in 1777, every 4th of July, George and Neal would get together and throw a party for the most important and powerful American figures. The p...
    • Skullets Rock! - In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick ...
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  • they stole our ideas - (6 Other Entries)
    • The DHARMA Initiative - In 1973, Neal and George co-founded the DHARMA initiative (yeah, those Lost guys got the idea from us), in an effort to prevent the pending apocalypse...
    • The Georgeless Bunch - In 1969, George was up for the role as Greg Brady on the show The Brady Bunch. However, George did not get the part due to "accidentally" throwing a f...
    • It's Convenient: The Origin - In 711 AD on July 11th at 7:11pm George and Neal invented the convenience store. Then, in 1927 some guy named Joe Thompson completely ripped off our i...
    • Allergic to Peanuts - In 1950 George created a comic strip about a short bald kid that everyone picked on. The strip competed closely with another very similar comic strip ...
    • He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!' - The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police ...
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