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Lava Lamps: The Origin

Entry Logged on: April 11, 2014 to Part 3 by: George - Photos by: George (1)
Page Views: 542 - Times Displayed: 11451

In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward Craven-Walker stole Neal's idea. Craven-Walker's variation was much more successful and in 1968 he was awarded a patent for his design, something denied Neal because Craven-Walker's lamps used a combination of mineral oil, paraffin wax, and carbon tetrachloride instead of Neal's disturbingly un-hygenic formula of sebum, ear wax, and pus. Someday we'll tell you about how George had the original idea for the Squirmle Magic Pet Worm, but we'll let you recover from the lava lamp thing first.

 

Lava Lamps: The Origin - It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much. They had a tendency to explode. And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place. (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)

It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much. They had a tendency to explode. And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place. (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)

Photo by: George

Tags: 1960(1) 1963(2) 1968(4) blends(3) body parts(14) business ventures(46) first(3) inspirations(19) inventions(49) mental trauma(8) neal funk(18) people of history(33) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: Edward Craven-Walker(1) lava lamp(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
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  • 1960 - (No Other Entries)
  • 1963 - (1 Other Entry)
    • Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint - For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their for...
  • 1968 - (3 Other Entries)
    • Bob Ross: The Origin - In 1968 George and Neal trained a kitten to paint. That kitten in turn trained Bob Ross to paint. Bob Ross in turn taught countless of people to paint...
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    • Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System - In 1758 George and Neal invented tooth paste. Their first attempt was made from actual ground up teeth and was used to hold in dentures, but eventuall...
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    • Rudolph: The Origin - In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape ...
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    • Cookin' with Martha and Neal - In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; howev...
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    • I Dare You! - On September 6, 2010, George and Neal initiated a series of dares, each more shocking than the last. It started innocently enough, when George dared N...
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    • Tooth-whitening Toothpaste - George and Neal hit great fame in the late '80s after successfully marketing a tooth-whitening toothpaste. However, when it was discovered that the "p...
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  • first - (2 Other Entries)
    • Just a little background... - ###Just a little background - This entire story was listed in the "Details on how you know each other" section of Facebook. Unfortunately the field fo...
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  • inspirations - (18 Other Entries)
    • George the Merciless - On a visit to 1932 George and Neal met with Alex Raymond and related some of this Saga. Alex was inspired and two years later created Flash Gordon, a...
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    • Going all Einstein on your mouth... - In order to celebrate his genius, George and Neal went back in time to 1952 to meet Albert Einstein. Rather than being interested in scientific breakt...
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    • Say Anything (That Won't Get You Arrested) - In 1988 Neal's infatuation with John Cusack reached an all-time high. John was generally pretty cool with it, but during the filming of Say Anything ...
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  • inventions - (48 Other Entries)
    • The Twelve Step Approach - In 2010 George insisted Neal seek therapy to break his addiction to board games. Neal entered the program but came out six weeks later with a great id...
    • Cold Fusion - In 2035 George and Neal (using their time machine again) discovered the secret to producing Cold Fusion power. Unfortunately at the time they didn't r...
    • Search Engine Search Engine (no, we didn't stutter) - By 2040, the number of internet search engines were so voluminous and staggering (including Infoseek, Lycos, Yahoo, Google, Magellan, AltaVista, Ask J...
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  • mental trauma - (7 Other Entries)
    • Yes, they really said that. - In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly trave...
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    • Aging gracefully... - Although principles of space-time restrict George and Neal from interacting with their older or younger selves (without proper precautions there is a ...
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  • neal funk - (17 Other Entries)
    • Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
    • Infecting 1002 - In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrive...
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    • Duels of Toxicity - Beginning in 1777, every 4th of July, George and Neal would get together and throw a party for the most important and powerful American figures. The p...
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    • Two Seamstresses, One Thimble - In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral ...
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    • The Fountain of Youth - In 1609 George and Neal discovered the Fountain of Youth in Florida, just where Ponce de Leon thought it was. We kept the fountain's location a secret...
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    • He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!' - The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police ...
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    • The Georgeless Bunch - In 1969, George was up for the role as Greg Brady on the show The Brady Bunch. However, George did not get the part due to "accidentally" throwing a f...
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