The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


Home - First Post - Part: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - Newest Entries - Popular Entries - View Tags - Free Ebooks - Entry Timeline - Email Signup - Featured - Favorites
Our Facebook Feed -


<< Previous Saga Entry
(Facebook Edit-Off)
 Next Saga Entry >>
(Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin)


Neal Simon's Manhood

Entry Logged on: February 14, 2009 to Part 1 by: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: Neal (1)
Page Views: 571 - Times Displayed: 8614

Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) that this was the result of Neal's long time habit of wussing out and doing things the girly way. In Neal's warped reality, Neal was so manly, that his manhood felt no need to continue being a part of Neal, as Neal would continue to be manly enough and could and would grow another one at will. The manhood's theme song during its secession campaign was a humorous '90s hit by the band King Missile. Years later, Neal's manhood started a website (www.nealsimonsmanhood.com), which met with some success - but likely only because people thought it was a website hosting pictures of the author/playwright who wrote "The Odd Couple", "Biloxi Blues", and "Lost in Yonkers". Initially, the website was not like that at all. Over time, however...

 

Neal Simon's Manhood - Scientific Fact #47(c): All people named Neal Simon are excellent lovers.

Scientific Fact #47(c): All people named Neal Simon are excellent lovers.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1990s(3) 2009(21) amazing abilities(16) body parts(14) celebrities(69) phallus(8) theater(8) websites(7) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: biloxi blues(1) king missile(1) lost in yonkers(1) neil simon(1) the odd couple(1)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: Neal (1)

<< Previous Saga Entry
(Facebook Edit-Off)
 Next Saga Entry >>
(Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin)



Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: biloxi blues(1), king missile(1), lost in yonkers(1), neil simon(1), the odd couple(1)

Tags:
  • 1990s - (2 Other Entries)
    • The Neo-Geo Fanclub - In an effort to find a way to accurately predict the weather, Neal and George devised a weather-prediction machine, which was comprised of a series of...
    • Slap-Bracelets: The Origin - In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustratio...
  • 2009 - (20 Other Entries)
    • Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - 680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmind...
    • Bucket Run - George was not the inventor of the famed "bucket run" at U of I, despite the widely held belief (the original bucket run was not actually invented, bu...
    • International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
    • Having Doubts... - At 12:56am on Friday, July 10, 2009 George wondered if anyone ever reads The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pu...
    • March of 2009 - In March of 2009 George went back to February of 2009 and added another entry to this list of great accomplishments. This was George's laziest way to ...
    • Show All...
  • amazing abilities - (15 Other Entries)
    • The Wilhelm Scream and Other Sounds - The Wilhelm Scream is pretty well known for being a sound effect used in many, many movies. What is less well known is that George and Neal also prov...
    • Welcome aboard Sam! - In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make ...
    • Free TV! - George and Neal can view the entire electromagnetic spectrum, not only visible light. This has many uses and has helped us with our amazing achievemen...
    • The Great Smog of '52 - In 1952 (but chronologically in 1997 during a trip in a time machine they co-invented) George and Neal visited London, resulting in the Great Smog of ...
    • Feats of Strength!™ - In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using ...
    • Show All...
  • body parts - (13 Other Entries)
    • Rudolph: The Origin - In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape ...
    • Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System - In 1758 George and Neal invented tooth paste. Their first attempt was made from actual ground up teeth and was used to hold in dentures, but eventuall...
    • Lava Lamps: The Origin - In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward...
    • Bob, I miss my testicles, you jerk! - In 1988, George and Neal created cats and dogs with opposable thumbs and above-average intellects. Everyone was thrilled with the evolutionary jump - ...
    • The Opposable Nose: The Origin - In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. Ho...
    • Show All...
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • Aracauna Flu - In 2068 George and Neal accidentally engineered a new strain of the flu virus, called Aracauna Flu, and then subsequently became the first people to c...
    • Dirk Diggler Ain't Got Nothin' - In 1991, Neal and George were beaten up by "Marky Mark" Wahlberg and 1 member of his Funky Bunch (specifically, Hector the Bootie Inspector). After kn...
    • Clean, Efficient, Traumatizing Feeble Power - In 1998, George decided to traumatize Neal by forcing him to watch Peter Jackson's lesser known muppets-on-drugs movie, Meet the Feebles. Neal has bee...
    • Chicken To Ride - And Other Classics Done Right - In 2012 George and Neal recorded an album of cover songs, except instead of the actual lyrics we sang the lyrics that everyone thinks the original art...
    • The George and Neal Newsnetwork - In 2040, Neal and George created a television news program devoted solely to chronicling their (mis)adventures, called the George and Neal Newsnetwork...
    • Show All...
  • phallus - (7 Other Entries)
    • Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Te...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • Nobody does the weather like Neal (and that's a good thing). - In 2023 George and Neal each got jobs as meteorologists for competing local Chicago VV stations (VV will be the replacement for TV in the future). Bot...
    • Geal - In 1955, a small village in Transylvania attempted to assassinate George and Neal for inventing Pig Latin. All attempts were unsuccessful, in part bec...
    • Love Aid Rings - In 1951, George and Neal decided to make a line of "Love Aid Rings" to sell to the public. Neal designed them based upon his own body, which he felt w...
    • Show All...
  • theater - (7 Other Entries)
    • Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson - Unbeknownst to many, and typical for a Hollywood film, 2000s blockbuster hit Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was nowhere near as good as the Broadway m...
    • Oh God I Shot Momma - In 1949, George starred in the off-Broadway (well, off-off Broadway) play "Oh God I Shot Momma" as the corpse. On a completely different note, that sa...
    • Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story - In 1982, Neal and George wrote, produced, and starred in the off-Broadway musical, "Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story." The play, which had an ...
    • Vanished Celebrity Vaudeville Variety Hour - In 1937 George and Neal, while experimenting with a new potato gun in the central Pacific, accidentally shot down Amelia Earhart's airplane. They were...
    • Rue Bourbon is Distracting - In 2069 George and Neal wrote a musical, called "Home to Where the Sun Rises". The smash hit spent four years on Broadway before touring the world. ...
    • Show All...
  • websites - (6 Other Entries)
    • It's Not a Jewish eBay - In 2014, Neal and George created the website, "Oybay", the very first auction website devoted entirely to the sale and purchase of Jewish items.
    • HeadPeriodical - In an effort to compete with Facebook, during 2011, Neal and George created the newest online community, HeadPeriodical. Seen by most as a cheap rip-o...
    • Search Engine Search Engine (no, we didn't stutter) - By 2040, the number of internet search engines were so voluminous and staggering (including Infoseek, Lycos, Yahoo, Google, Magellan, AltaVista, Ask J...
    • Joanie Loves Churros - In 1978 a temporary glitch in George and Neal's Time Machine (well, not so much a glitch as Neal spilling a tub of Tang drink mix onto the controls - ...
    • On Online Dating - After the success of online dating websites such as "Eharmony" and "J-Date" (a social/dating website for Jewish people), George and Neal created their...
    • Show All...
  • xxx - (10 Other Entries)
    • Neal's On Wheels - (Ahem). In 2040, Neal offered a new service to the general public, wherein he would transport people on his back while riding on roller skates. He cal...
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
    • Two Seamstresses, One Thimble - In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral ...
    • Girls Gone Tame - In 2021, to capitalize on the new, extremely modest trends in fashion, George and Neal made millions off their new video series called "Girls Gone Tam...
    • Cookin' with Martha and Neal - In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; howev...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • A Worthy Cause! - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, a story about a child born as an old man who aged in reverse, wasn’t always a work of fiction. Originally, there...
  • Napoleon's iPod: The Origin - In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the lo...
  • Definitely not Vain - In 1988, Neal and Billy Joel started a fire. Billy Joel denies it. In 2000, Carly Simon admitted she wrote "You're so Vain" about her 10-month, steamy...
  • Viking/English Hostility - On June 8, 793 AD George and Neal orchestrated the first Viking attack on England; the raid on the monastery of Lindisfarne in Northumbria. This was t...
  • Just Good Ol' Boys - In 1982 Neal and George played the roles of Coy and Vance respectively when John Schneider and Tom Wopat (Bo and Luke) walked off the set of the Dukes...


Visitor Stats
Mouse Over to View

Real Time Web Analytics

View this on Facebook! Post comments!

George on Google+ | Neal on Google+ | George on Facebook | Neal on Facebook | Free Ebooks | Full Saga | Entry Timeline | Fun Stats | Featured | Favorites
XML Sitemap
All Content © 2009-2019 by George Jaros and Neal Simon
Disclaimer: If you think an image displayed here is owned by you, please contact us via the comment form or .
The TRUTH, for those that wish to seek it...
eXTReMe Tracker