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Restraining Orders Suck

Entry Logged on: January 29, 2010 to Part 3 by: Neal
Page Views: 381 - Times Displayed: 11885

Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawed; so, to eliminate as much Awesomeness!™ as possible, George and Neal were ordered to keep away from one another (except for that brief period in 2058 when they secretly invented the edible harmonica under cover of the darkest night). In 2059, Awesomeness!™ was reinstated, and George and Neal were allowed to continue their adventures. They reconnected during 2059... Well, in actual fact, for them it was 2059, but they really reconnected during 424 BCE, in Ancient Persia. At that time, George and Neal started a business selling camels to the citizens of Persia (which were used in combat because of the camels' natural ability to scare off horses in close ranges, a quality famously employed by the Achaemenid Persians when fighting Lydia... See? Education is fun!). George and Neal were known for selling camels with enhanced feet and toes, which assisted the camels during their long and sometimes treacherous travel. You can still purchase your own enhanced camel, provided you, too, have a time machine and can find George and Neal's shop, "Freaky Deaky Camels". (Not the best name for a shop, but much better than Neal's suggestion, "Hey, Look at all my Camel Toes!" and George's suggestion, "My Friend Neal Has Camel Toes".)

Tags: .424 bce(1) 2056(2) 2058(2) 2059(3) animals(17) business ventures(46) education(9) food(45) gimme a break(5) government(16) laws(10) mashups(12) music(26) people of history(33) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: persia(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
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  • .424 bce - (No Other Entries)
  • 2056 - (1 Other Entry)
    • Olympic Snowball - In 2022, at George and Neal's insistence (ok, it was actually persistence - we agreed to finally stop whining about it if the IOC included it - we can...
  • 2058 - (1 Other Entry)
    • Marshmonica as Endorsed by John Popper - Dateline, 2058: In an effort to feed as well as entertain the homeless, George and Neal invented the first edible harmonica. Much to George's dismay, ...
  • 2059 - (2 Other Entries)
    • We'll never learn... - In 2059, George and Neal did some other awesome stuff, and one thing they are both not very proud of. It involved a tray of ice, a can of motor oil, a...
    • 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
  • animals - (16 Other Entries)
    • The Fashionably Endangered Rosea Zebra - In the 1980s George and Neal discovered the rare Rosea Zebra, or Pink Zebra. These zebras are native to just a very small part of Africa and their di...
    • You Won't Be Able To Unsee It. Sorry. - George has always had a love of science fiction. Something about the amazing stories with their roots in real science, fantasy, futurism, and history...
    • Give me a head with hair, weird, awkward hair... - In 2017 George and Neal decided to start a new hairstyle fad. Instead of the refined, prim, manicured look that they made popular for most of the pre...
    • Joy to Everyone! - In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make C...
    • Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless - In 1991, Neal organized a protest against brutality toward unicorns called Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless, or B.U.T.T. Decades later, George in...
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  • business ventures - (45 Other Entries)
    • We Help You Help Yourself - Self Help Clinic - In 2005, George and Neal founded the "We Help You Help Yourself - Self Help Clinic". It is unknown at this time whether the Clinic was a whopping succ...
    • Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Te...
    • President Obama's Education Recovery Effort - In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up...
    • Damn you, Midler! - In 2010 George and Neal single handedly (well, I guess double-handedly) save the US from a great depression, by creating a new industry devoted solely...
    • New George and New Neal - On April 23, 1985, Coca-Cola changed its formula and released the New Coke. Not to be outdone, George and Neal intentionally altered their DNA to crea...
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  • education - (8 Other Entries)
    • Paper Product Hoarders - In 1994 George began his extensive napkin collection. He collected paper cafeteria napkins and stored them in school lockers around the world. Aroun...
    • Documentaries - Throughout the years George and Neal have helped create several famous documentaries, including Gheorghe Marinescu's "The walking troubles of organic ...
    • Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution - In 1981 George founded the Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution (M.U.T.E.); the most prestigious school of ventriloquism, and the only one to o...
    • After-School Specials - In the mid 1980's, Neal and George were hired by ABC to produce a series of after-school specials. Those of you who grew up in the 80's may remember (...
    • Them Amazing Ladies - In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ...
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  • food - (44 Other Entries)
    • Tic Tac Toe... Eewwww... - In 2039 the game Tic Tac Toe had a huge resurgence in popularity when Neal discovered that the game had a hidden Easter Egg, where you could actually ...
    • Cow Experimentation - In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high in...
    • Just Another Barbecue - In the summer of 2009, George and Neal had a barbecue. (Hey, not everything is as exciting as time traveling or fighting off townspeople.) Oh yeah, th...
    • Make the Trains Run on Thyme - Mussolini got his idea to tell everyone that he made the trains run on time after George and Neal invented a train that ran on thyme (Benito simply mi...
    • The Guide to Everything - It surely goes without saying that, for thousands of years, George and Neal had an enormous impact on pop culture. They affected everything from tele...
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  • gimme a break - (4 Other Entries)
    • Zoo Trip Time Machine - In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done t...
    • Family Week - In September 2012 George took a short break from time travelling, changing history, and altering the laws of physics to spend some more time with his ...
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
    • George Takes a Break - In April, 2016 George got tired of the whole ninja fighting and history manipulating thing. He decided to try something more relaxing and opened the M...
  • government - (15 Other Entries)
    • Constitutionally Safe - A 1934 proposed amendment to the Constitution would have prevented George and Neal from having anything to do with interfering in global events again....
    • Hair Match - In 2014, after declaring bankruptcy and losing everything, George and Neal came to their rescue and offered both Rod Blagojevich and Donald Trump an o...
    • The Recession: The Origin - In 2003, becoming increasingly paranoid that officials at the Pentagon were conspiring against him, George W. Bush asked that George and Neal create t...
    • Bum Ba Bum, Ba Bum Bum... - In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum securi...
    • Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016 - Exhausted with the mean-spirited nature of recent presidential elections as well as the inability of presidents to follow through on campaign promises...
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  • laws - (9 Other Entries)
    • Lego Prison - In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators t...
    • P & VP - Through a series of mishaps and mistaken identities, for a three-day period in 1943 George and Neal assumed the position of President and Vice Preside...
    • Metric Woes - Unable to persuade America to convert to the Metric system, in 2087 George and Neal successfully convinced America to abandon their current measuring ...
    • Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System - In 1758 George and Neal invented tooth paste. Their first attempt was made from actual ground up teeth and was used to hold in dentures, but eventuall...
    • We the Bad-Ass Americans - George and Neal went on a vacation/bender in 1776 (again with the time machine). Luckily, though wackiness ensued, nothing was altered in our time-lin...
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  • mashups - (11 Other Entries)
    • Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce - In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superio...
    • Fun With Genetics - Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted li...
    • EastKippur - In an effort to unify religions, George and Neal combined Easter and Yom Kippur, (known as "EastKippur"). Unfortunately, this resulted in a cruel iron...
    • Sock Film Classics - Thelma and Louise - After the success of placing themselves into the roles of classic sitcom characters George and Neal did the same thing with movies. But this time inst...
    • Horton Hears A Gremlin - In the early 2000's, George and Neal were hired by FOX studios to pitch movie ideas. Given their many adventures, you'd think they would have a wealth...
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  • music - (25 Other Entries)
    • Rue Bourbon is Distracting - In 2069 George and Neal wrote a musical, called "Home to Where the Sun Rises". The smash hit spent four years on Broadway before touring the world. ...
    • Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
    • Golden Spleens - In 4539 George and Neal decided to dabble in alchemy and turned themselves into golden statues. Luckily the effects were only temporary and by 5935 t...
    • Definitely not Vain - In 1988, Neal and Billy Joel started a fire. Billy Joel denies it. In 2000, Carly Simon admitted she wrote "You're so Vain" about her 10-month, steamy...
    • KISS - George and Neal were once part of the rock band KISS, but left the band in 1974 because they didn't think makeup of a raccoon and chimp respectively w...
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  • people of history - (32 Other Entries)
    • Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story - In 1982, Neal and George wrote, produced, and starred in the off-Broadway musical, "Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story." The play, which had an ...
    • Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch Gang - For a few years near the end of the 19th century George and Neal organized several bands of outlaws and robbed banks and trains in the old west. We we...
    • Darwin Loves Us! - In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection t...
    • Hollow Earth - On and off for 35,000 years George and Neal worked on hollowing out the Earth. The dirt we hauled out was used to make the moon. The interior of the E...
    • The 3 Stooges: The Origin - In 1933, Columbia's "3 Nice Regular Guys" premiered, starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and George Jaros. The three produced 25 eight-to-twelve minute ...
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  • time machine - (36 Other Entries)
    • Cold Fusion - In 2035 George and Neal (using their time machine again) discovered the secret to producing Cold Fusion power. Unfortunately at the time they didn't r...
    • World's Firster Selfie - After Neal claimed to be in the first "selfie", George decided to both photobomb that "selfie" and then one-up Neal (because that's what he does). So...
    • Saturday Night George - In 1993 George and Neal used the Time Machine in conjunction with the Teleportation Device and wound up in an alternate reality where families sit aro...
    • March of 2009 - In March of 2009 George went back to February of 2009 and added another entry to this list of great accomplishments. This was George's laziest way to ...
    • Starring George & Neal!!! - Wanting to attain fame, but hoping to do so with as little effort as humanly possible, George and Neal went back in time to be recast in Hollywood blo...
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Other Posts:

  • The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland) - In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they g...
  • We Got (no) Game! - Athletes. They command respect, admiration, and free Wheaties cereal. Having conquered every other field imaginable (and then creating fields not ye...
  • Aging gracefully... - Although principles of space-time restrict George and Neal from interacting with their older or younger selves (without proper precautions there is a ...
  • Measure Your Spaghetti - In 2018 George and Neal were invited to appear before the entire US Government to talk about their accomplishments. The talk started out normal enough...
  • Dirk Diggler Ain't Got Nothin' - In 1991, Neal and George were beaten up by "Marky Mark" Wahlberg and 1 member of his Funky Bunch (specifically, Hector the Bootie Inspector). After kn...
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