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Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh....

Entry Logged on: September 06, 2009 to Part 2 by: Neal
Page Views: 271 - Times Displayed: 8921

In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have been cloned many times over as George and Neal can't seem to get enough of them), George and Neal gathered the best and brightest scientific minds (read: just the two of them - oh, and they also included Stephen Hawking, not because he's as smart as Neal and George (he's not), but rather because they liked hearing Hawking's melodious robotic voice). The goal: discover a way to eliminate the need to potty train children. Two hours later, the solution was discovered. George and Neal combined the awesome, near-supernatural powers of duct tape and children's pottys, and revealed their newest invention, the "Toilet Tush Taper" (aka "Poop Cubed") to the world. (((Patent (and significantly better name) pending.))) This invention did not sell well, though, after someone realized that the "invention" of taping a toilet to a child's touchas was really the same thing as a diaper. A much heavier, messier, terrible diaper. Red Green was impressed at the ingenious use of duct tape though.

Tags: 2036(2) celebrities(69) failures(22) inventions(49) offspring(13) poop(7) science(28) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: red green(1) stephen hawking(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

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Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: red green(1), stephen hawking(1)

Tags:
  • 2036 - (1 Other Entry)
    • ...and over and over and over... - In 2036 George and Neal started one of the most aggressive research studies into ESP and telepathy (prophecy wasn't included since we already had our ...
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • 3014 Was Weird - In 3014, feeling melancholy as a result of a worldwide illness that removed the human eye's ability to detect a significant amount of electromagnetic ...
    • Where the heck are Vladimir and Estragon? - In 1947 George and Neal spent several days in France waiting for their friends Vladimir and Estragon to show up. Neal later wrote a play about it call...
    • Aracauna Flu - In 2068 George and Neal accidentally engineered a new strain of the flu virus, called Aracauna Flu, and then subsequently became the first people to c...
    • The 3 Stooges: The Origin - In 1933, Columbia's "3 Nice Regular Guys" premiered, starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and George Jaros. The three produced 25 eight-to-twelve minute ...
    • Vanished Celebrity Vaudeville Variety Hour - In 1937 George and Neal, while experimenting with a new potato gun in the central Pacific, accidentally shot down Amelia Earhart's airplane. They were...
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  • failures - (21 Other Entries)
    • Vintage Escher Architecture - For Rent - Speaking of M.C. Escher, in 1955, George and Neal once rented an apartment from him. On the plus side, the rent was very low for such a roomy place. T...
    • Metric Woes - Unable to persuade America to convert to the Metric system, in 2087 George and Neal successfully convinced America to abandon their current measuring ...
    • Science Donations - In 1999, Neal tried to give his body to science. After 30 days, his body was returned as being defective.
    • Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire - In 2006, Neal appeared on the television spin off, "Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire". Neal did not win the hundred dollars.
    • Vatican Idol and Spin-offs - In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singi...
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  • inventions - (48 Other Entries)
    • Sisqo's Lullaby - In 2018 George's third kid served as inspiration to his greatest gift to the human race. He noticed that Andrew was very mobile and kept having probl...
    • Calendar Confusion - In 46 BCE George and Neal suggested a new calendar to Julius Caesar. Caesar adopted most of the rules we specified, but not all of them. In 1582 Georg...
    • The Prolific Pancake Pileup - Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that...
    • Clean, Efficient, Traumatizing Feeble Power - In 1998, George decided to traumatize Neal by forcing him to watch Peter Jackson's lesser known muppets-on-drugs movie, Meet the Feebles. Neal has bee...
    • Napoleon's iPod: The Origin - In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the lo...
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  • offspring - (12 Other Entries)
    • GONADS - In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device t...
    • It's All Relative - On April 1, 2010, George thought it would be a hilarious prank to go back in time and seduce Neal's great-grandmother. Consequently, George became Nea...
    • Welcome aboard Adin! - In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and ad...
    • Zoo Trip Time Machine - In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done t...
    • Welcome aboard Sam! - In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make ...
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  • poop - (6 Other Entries)
    • The Bucket List - In 1994 George and Neal decided that, although they had had many adventures and experienced some really amazing things that most other people can't ev...
    • Paper Product Hoarders - In 1994 George began his extensive napkin collection. He collected paper cafeteria napkins and stored them in school lockers around the world. Aroun...
    • Cold Fusion - In 2035 George and Neal (using their time machine again) discovered the secret to producing Cold Fusion power. Unfortunately at the time they didn't r...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • PDD Reactor - In 2068 George and Neal invented the PDD Reactor, a source of nearly endless energy. It converts Poopy Disposable Diapers into highly efficient energy...
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  • science - (27 Other Entries)
    • The Multiverse - There are lots of stories about the Bermuda Triangle and how it causes ships and airplanes to mysteriously disappear. In actuality, this is the simply...
    • Apples freakin' hurt. - After hearing that Isaac Newton once disparaged Neal's great-great-great-great Grandfather's honor, George and Neal went back to 1666, and chucked an ...
    • Studio Carrum Ccohortis - After extensive research for 23 years, George and Neal released the results of their Studio Carrum Ccohortis project. They discovered a very complex f...
    • Norris and Nye - George and Neal taught Chuck Norris everything he knows about kicking ass and Bill Nye everything he knows about science.
    • Religious iDeals - In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of...
    • Show All...
  • wives - (14 Other Entries)
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
    • Pleasurebots: The Origin - 2011: As a result of all of George and Neal's time traveling they were away from home a good portion of the time. In an effort to provide comfort to t...
    • Lego Prison - In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators t...
    • International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
    • El Niño and La Niña - On a trip to northwestern Peru in 1923 George and Neal both befriended and eventually married the Lopez sisters. The sisters gave birth to two childre...
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View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Damn you, Midler! - In 2010 George and Neal single handedly (well, I guess double-handedly) save the US from a great depression, by creating a new industry devoted solely...
  • Pleasurebots V.6 - Fabio-Bot - Neal can believe it's not butter. George hasn't made up his mind yet. But both Neal and George can't believe Fabio will have his consciousness downl...
  • The DHARMA Initiative - In 1973, Neal and George co-founded the DHARMA initiative (yeah, those Lost guys got the idea from us), in an effort to prevent the pending apocalypse...
  • Just Another Barbecue - In the summer of 2009, George and Neal had a barbecue. (Hey, not everything is as exciting as time traveling or fighting off townspeople.) Oh yeah, th...
  • The Recession of 2009: The Origin - On 2/27/2009 George was too busy and too tired to do anything more than just embellish a bit. So he made up some random dribble just to take up some s...


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