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Religious iDeals

Entry Logged on: April 05, 2009 to Part 1 by: Neal
Page Views: 397 - Times Displayed: 9238

In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of this religion involved eating lots of chocolate, sleeping, makin' sweet love down by the fire, and playing video games (the latter being extremely difficult in 1935). Wanting to follow in Neal's footsteps, George created his own religion in 1944, called The First United Orthodox Church of Georgish Science. George amazed his followers by constantly quoting from the Simpsons and the Blues Brothers. Since neither had been created in 1944, his people found George to be the funniest, wittiest man alive.

Tags: 1935(1) 1944(1) food(45) government(16) movies(41) religion(11) science(28) tv shows(49) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: blues brothers(1) the simpsons(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: blues brothers(1), the simpsons(1)

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  • 1935 - (No Other Entries)
  • 1944 - (No Other Entries)
  • food - (44 Other Entries)
    • Westboro Baptist Church - In 2013, in an attempt to connect with the average American, Westboro Baptist Church contacted Neal and George for their advice. We recommended they ...
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
    • Get $245 Free (maybe) - In 1989 George and Neal were instrumental in the launch of the new chocolate DOVE Promises. Each wrapper featured an inspirational promise. Unfortunat...
    • It Stinks! - Thanks to the success of nasty food television shows such as Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, and Worst Cooks in America, by 2019 there were no foo...
    • Measure Your Spaghetti - In 2018 George and Neal were invited to appear before the entire US Government to talk about their accomplishments. The talk started out normal enough...
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  • government - (15 Other Entries)
    • We the Bad-Ass Americans - George and Neal went on a vacation/bender in 1776 (again with the time machine). Luckily, though wackiness ensued, nothing was altered in our time-lin...
    • Bum Ba Bum, Ba Bum Bum... - In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum securi...
    • Allergic to Peanuts - In 1950 George created a comic strip about a short bald kid that everyone picked on. The strip competed closely with another very similar comic strip ...
    • Going All Digital, and Clean(ish) - On February 9, 2009 by federal mandate George and Neal were required to go all digital. The mandate was immediately revoked and a new mandate required...
    • P & VP - Through a series of mishaps and mistaken identities, for a three-day period in 1943 George and Neal assumed the position of President and Vice Preside...
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  • movies - (40 Other Entries)
    • George & Neal's Excellent Adventure - In 1988, Bill and Ted went on an excellent adventure. Nothing compared to the exploits of George and Neal, which the movie was based off of. However, ...
    • George, Digitally Inserted - In 1997, due to George's deep love of Star Wars, as well as his admiration of George Lucas (less as a result of Lucas's accomplishments and more becau...
    • 3014 Was Weird - In 3014, feeling melancholy as a result of a worldwide illness that removed the human eye's ability to detect a significant amount of electromagnetic ...
    • Basic Instinct - George was the prime candidate for the Sharon Stone role in Basic Instinct. When George passed on the role, due only to the fact that taking the role ...
    • Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Given the success of the novel (and soon to be movie) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a mashup story combining Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel Pride...
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  • religion - (10 Other Entries)
    • Sisters of Endless Guilt - In 1962 George and Neal dressed as nuns and moved into the Sisters of Endless Guilt convent, just for kicks. We lived there for three and a half month...
    • Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Te...
    • Keeping Kosher - Neal enjoys eating pickled pig snouts, but only if they're Kosher. George enjoys eating all the foods his wife won't let him eat.
    • Happy Chomp-akah - Wanting to "shake things up" for the next Hanukah, in 2013 Neal invented "Tleg", the exact opposite of Gelt - chocolate on the outside, gold foil on t...
    • Rue Bourbon is Distracting - In 2069 George and Neal wrote a musical, called "Home to Where the Sun Rises". The smash hit spent four years on Broadway before touring the world. ...
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  • science - (27 Other Entries)
    • ...and over and over and over... - In 2036 George and Neal started one of the most aggressive research studies into ESP and telepathy (prophecy wasn't included since we already had our ...
    • Aging gracefully... - Although principles of space-time restrict George and Neal from interacting with their older or younger selves (without proper precautions there is a ...
    • History came alive, boy howdy! - This wasn't the first time that George and Neal had a monumental impact on the mathematical world. In 2012, while bored one weekend, they decided to ...
    • The Multiverse - There are lots of stories about the Bermuda Triangle and how it causes ships and airplanes to mysteriously disappear. In actuality, this is the simply...
    • What's a Typewriter? - In 2025 George and Neal received a grant from the US government to study the long held belief that if you give a billion monkeys a billion typewriters...
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  • tv shows - (48 Other Entries)
    • Nobody does the weather like Neal (and that's a good thing). - In 2023 George and Neal each got jobs as meteorologists for competing local Chicago VV stations (VV will be the replacement for TV in the future). Bot...
    • iKing George - In 1014, George founded the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia, and became King George I (known affectionately as iKing). Beginning in October of that year ...
    • Ralph Malph - In 1920, George unfortunately lost millions investing in a ponzi scheme, in which his investments were used to pay earlier investors. In 1979, Neal lo...
    • After-School Specials - In the mid 1980's, Neal and George were hired by ABC to produce a series of after-school specials. Those of you who grew up in the 80's may remember (...
    • Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)... - George was originally cast in the lead role as Michael Knight for the 1980's TV series Knight Rider, however due to conflicting interests (George was ...
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  • video games - (11 Other Entries)
    • Play With George's Balls! - Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest ga...
    • Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story - In 1982, Neal and George wrote, produced, and starred in the off-Broadway musical, "Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story." The play, which had an ...
    • Super George Brothers - In 1981, George created a ground-breaking side-scrolling video game, Super George Brothers. The game chronicled George's love of eating weird mushroom...
    • George Jaros's Punch Out - In 1987, Nintendo released Mike Tyson's Punch Out. Although it was a smash hit, many believe that the game would have sold significantly better had it...
    • Saved By The 1-Up - In 1991 Neal was found dead after a long session of Bad Dudes, however he luckily received a 1-Up just before perishing and was able to be revived by ...
    • Show All...
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Other Posts:

  • Don't Let Coronavirus Cancel Your Wedding - In 1921 George and Neal founded their bridal fashion line. Unfortunately George and Neal knew absolutely nothing about bridal fashion and their compa...
  • George and Neal and the Masters of the Universe - In 1981, after the character Orko appeared in the cartoon He-Man, in a move that confused most of the world, Neal sued the cartoon company for infring...
  • Presidential Fight Club - In 1947, Neal convinced Governor Thomas E. Dewey not to run for president, but rather to run as Neal's Vice President. George, hearing of this, was i...
  • Back Surgey - In 1997 both Neal and George had major back surgery after carrying one too many bathtubs full of caffeinated, carbonated, goodness. For any normal hum...
  • Chicago Cubs in the World Series! (Psyche!) - In 2412, 467 years after their last World Series appearance, the Chicago Cubs looked likely to finally break their Billy Goat Curse, however, in true ...


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