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Entry Logged on: April 05, 2009 to Part 1 by: NealPage Views: 419 - Times Displayed: 9449
In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of this religion involved eating lots of chocolate, sleeping, makin' sweet love down by the fire, and playing video games (the latter being extremely difficult in 1935). Wanting to follow in Neal's footsteps, George created his own religion in 1944, called The First United Orthodox Church of Georgish Science. George amazed his followers by constantly quoting from the Simpsons and the Blues Brothers. Since neither had been created in 1944, his people found George to be the funniest, wittiest man alive.
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1935(1)
1944(1)
food(45)
government(16)
movies(41)
religion(11)
science(28)
tv shows(49)
video games(12)
Names Mentioned:
blues brothers(1)
the simpsons(1)
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- 1935 - (No Other Entries)
- 1944 - (No Other Entries)
- food - (44 Other Entries)
- Tic Tac Toe... Eewwww... - In 2039 the game Tic Tac Toe had a huge resurgence in popularity when Neal discovered that the game had a hidden Easter Egg, where you could actually ...
- The Prolific Pancake Pileup - Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that...
- Get $245 Free (maybe) - In 1989 George and Neal were instrumental in the launch of the new chocolate DOVE Promises. Each wrapper featured an inspirational promise. Unfortunat...
- Chewie Wookie Cookies - A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... As a young girl, Princess Leia Organa was a member of the Alderaan Starflower Girl Scout Troop. Her tro...
- Measure Your Spaghetti - In 2018 George and Neal were invited to appear before the entire US Government to talk about their accomplishments. The talk started out normal enough...
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- government - (15 Other Entries)
- Nealocrats and Georgicans - In 2034, as a result of their love of George and Neal, America did away with their bipartisan political landscape, replacing it with a more unified go...
- Jaguanst Causes Climate Change - In a landmark, decade long study that George and Neal published the results of in 2012, it was discovered that the biggest cause of global warming was...
- Constitutionally Safe - A 1934 proposed amendment to the Constitution would have prevented George and Neal from having anything to do with interfering in global events again....
- P & VP - Through a series of mishaps and mistaken identities, for a three-day period in 1943 George and Neal assumed the position of President and Vice Preside...
- We the Bad-Ass Americans - George and Neal went on a vacation/bender in 1776 (again with the time machine). Luckily, though wackiness ensued, nothing was altered in our time-lin...
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- movies - (40 Other Entries)
- 3014 Was Weird - In 3014, feeling melancholy as a result of a worldwide illness that removed the human eye's ability to detect a significant amount of electromagnetic ...
- Skullets Rock! - In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick ...
- Two Seamstresses, One Thimble - In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral ...
- Horton Hears A Gremlin - In the early 2000's, George and Neal were hired by FOX studios to pitch movie ideas. Given their many adventures, you'd think they would have a wealth...
- Girls Gone Tame - In 2021, to capitalize on the new, extremely modest trends in fashion, George and Neal made millions off their new video series called "Girls Gone Tam...
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- religion - (10 Other Entries)
- Samhain and Zarathosht Diso - A second attempt to unite the religious holidays of Samhain and Zarathosht Diso was equally disastrous since neither of them was Wiccan or Zoroastrian...
- Happy Chomp-akah - Wanting to "shake things up" for the next Hanukah, in 2013 Neal invented "Tleg", the exact opposite of Gelt - chocolate on the outside, gold foil on t...
- Rue Bourbon is Distracting - In 2069 George and Neal wrote a musical, called "Home to Where the Sun Rises". The smash hit spent four years on Broadway before touring the world. ...
- Keeping Kosher - Neal enjoys eating pickled pig snouts, but only if they're Kosher. George enjoys eating all the foods his wife won't let him eat.
- Sisters of Endless Guilt - In 1962 George and Neal dressed as nuns and moved into the Sisters of Endless Guilt convent, just for kicks. We lived there for three and a half month...
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- science - (27 Other Entries)
- Fun With Genetics - Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted li...
- Norris and Nye - George and Neal taught Chuck Norris everything he knows about kicking ass and Bill Nye everything he knows about science.
- Family Week - In September 2012 George took a short break from time travelling, changing history, and altering the laws of physics to spend some more time with his ...
- Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - 680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmind...
- George Spores - In September 1928, Neal and George decided to attempt to clone themselves so that future generations could benefit from their awesomeness. Neal believ...
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- tv shows - (48 Other Entries)
- George and Neal and the Masters of the Universe - In 1981, after the character Orko appeared in the cartoon He-Man, in a move that confused most of the world, Neal sued the cartoon company for infring...
- The George and Neal Newsnetwork - In 2040, Neal and George created a television news program devoted solely to chronicling their (mis)adventures, called the George and Neal Newsnetwork...
- Sorry-for-the-Hyphens - In 1983, George and Neal started the hair-metal/country band "Sorry-for-the-Hyphens". They gained a small cult following as a result of their minor se...
- Joanie Loves Churros - In 1978 a temporary glitch in George and Neal's Time Machine (well, not so much a glitch as Neal spilling a tub of Tang drink mix onto the controls - ...
- Just Good Ol' Boys - In 1982 Neal and George played the roles of Coy and Vance respectively when John Schneider and Tom Wopat (Bo and Luke) walked off the set of the Dukes...
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- video games - (11 Other Entries)
- Play With George's Balls! - Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest ga...
- Duke Nukem Forever - In April 2097 George and Neal released the long anticipated video game, Duke Nukem Forever, only 100 years after it was announced. Contrary to popular...
- Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint - For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their for...
- George Jaros's Punch Out - In 1987, Nintendo released Mike Tyson's Punch Out. Although it was a smash hit, many believe that the game would have sold significantly better had it...
- Oregon Trail xTreme - The Road to Nimrod - On June 1, 2011, Neal and George debuted their MMORPG video game, Oregon Trail xTreme - The Road to Nimrod (yes, it is an actual place in Oregon, as i...
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Other Posts:
- The Damnation that was Smurfs - In 2099 scientists astounded the world by developing genetically engineered little blue creatures that wore nothing but white pants and hats. OK, so ...
- It's Convenient: The Origin - In 711 AD on July 11th at 7:11pm George and Neal invented the convenience store. Then, in 1927 some guy named Joe Thompson completely ripped off our i...
- QZIZZLE-PIZZLE - In 1856 George and Neal invented over six different types of keyboards, the now ubiquitous QWERTY keyboard, the still sometimes used Dvorak keyboard, ...
- The Georgeless Bunch - In 1969, George was up for the role as Greg Brady on the show The Brady Bunch. However, George did not get the part due to "accidentally" throwing a f...
- Going all Einstein on your mouth... - In order to celebrate his genius, George and Neal went back in time to 1952 to meet Albert Einstein. Rather than being interested in scientific breakt...
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