The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!
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Darwin Loves Us!
Entry Logged on: March 13, 2009 to Part 1 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)Page Views: 426 - Times Displayed: 7160
In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection theory. Confusingly, the Vatican has suppressed this information for generations.
He couldn't have been that mad; he gave us a signed copy!
Photo by: Neal
Tags:
.10000 bce(1)
ancient wonders(9)
body parts(14)
christian(8)
evolution(5)
inventions(49)
people of history(33)
prehistoric(6)
Names Mentioned:
charles darwin(2)
vatican(3)
<< Previous Saga Entry
(The Prolific Pancake Pileup) Next Saga Entry >>
(The Opposable Nose: The Origin)
(The Prolific Pancake Pileup) Next Saga Entry >>
(The Opposable Nose: The Origin)
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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality:
charles darwin(2),
vatican(3)
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- .10000 bce - (No Other Entries)
- ancient wonders - (8 Other Entries)
- The Opposable Nose: The Origin - In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. Ho...
- George & Neal's Excellent Adventure - In 1988, Bill and Ted went on an excellent adventure. Nothing compared to the exploits of George and Neal, which the movie was based off of. However, ...
- Napoleon's iPod: The Origin - In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the lo...
- Big Triangular Shaped Buildings - In 2540 BCE George and Neal designed and supervised the construction of the great Pyramid at Giza. We didn't use slave labor like many historians susp...
- There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
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- body parts - (13 Other Entries)
- Cookin' with Martha and Neal - In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; howev...
- Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System - In 1758 George and Neal invented tooth paste. Their first attempt was made from actual ground up teeth and was used to hold in dentures, but eventuall...
- Feats of Strength!™ - In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using ...
- Back Surgey - In 1997 both Neal and George had major back surgery after carrying one too many bathtubs full of caffeinated, carbonated, goodness. For any normal hum...
- Golden Spleens - In 4539 George and Neal decided to dabble in alchemy and turned themselves into golden statues. Luckily the effects were only temporary and by 5935 t...
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- christian - (7 Other Entries)
- Joy to Everyone! - In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make C...
- Olympic Snowball - In 2022, at George and Neal's insistence (ok, it was actually persistence - we agreed to finally stop whining about it if the IOC included it - we can...
- Keeping Kosher - Neal enjoys eating pickled pig snouts, but only if they're Kosher. George enjoys eating all the foods his wife won't let him eat.
- EastKippur - In an effort to unify religions, George and Neal combined Easter and Yom Kippur, (known as "EastKippur"). Unfortunately, this resulted in a cruel iron...
- George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
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- evolution - (4 Other Entries)
- Unintelligent Design - In 2111 George and Neal made waves in the ongoing debate on Evolution vs. Creationism with a new theory of Unintelligent Design, which states that a d...
- Skullets Rock! - In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick ...
- Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - 680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmind...
- Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
- inventions - (48 Other Entries)
- Cold Fusion - In 2035 George and Neal (using their time machine again) discovered the secret to producing Cold Fusion power. Unfortunately at the time they didn't r...
- Kick-Ball Ball-Kick - Striking a blow for ball rights everywhere (Editor's note: I'm not touching that one - literally or figuratively), in 1973, George and Neal created th...
- Slap-Bracelets: The Origin - In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustratio...
- This Ain't Your Dada's IKEA - In 2017, riding on the success of ExMo and the IISL, George and Neal started a new line of furniture stores called ILEAK, making the style and comfort...
- Damn you, Midler! - In 2010 George and Neal single handedly (well, I guess double-handedly) save the US from a great depression, by creating a new industry devoted solely...
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- people of history - (32 Other Entries)
- Infecting 1002 - In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrive...
- The Fountain of Youth - In 1609 George and Neal discovered the Fountain of Youth in Florida, just where Ponce de Leon thought it was. We kept the fountain's location a secret...
- Calendar Confusion - In 46 BCE George and Neal suggested a new calendar to Julius Caesar. Caesar adopted most of the rules we specified, but not all of them. In 1582 Georg...
- Rudolph: The Origin - In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape ...
- Arctic Camping - From October 1907 to May 1909 George and Neal camped out at the North Pole. We're not sure why exactly since it was very cold, there wasn't much to ea...
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- prehistoric - (5 Other Entries)
- Vacationing in 165,003 B.C. - In 165,003 BCE George and Neal visited Macronesia, a large continent in the now Pacific Ocean (not to be confused with Macaronesia in the Atlantic). U...
- Lavender, Lavender Everywhere - In 2013, Neal and George totally negated existence as a result of a time paradox created by the two. In 2015, Neal and George totally fixed the proble...
- 3 Already Displayed with Another Tag
- Show All...
Other Posts:
- Tooth-whitening Toothpaste - George and Neal hit great fame in the late '80s after successfully marketing a tooth-whitening toothpaste. However, when it was discovered that the "p...
- Welcome aboard Adin! - In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and ad...
- The only way to beat a hipster is to become one. Or hit them with a heavy object. - Tired of hipsters telling everyone "I liked that band before they were cool," George and Neal did them one better, going back in time and befriending ...
- Able Archer 83: The Origin - In 1983, George devised a 10-day NATO exercise to simulate World War 3, so that all nations participating could see what would happen in the worst cas...
- George and Neal and the Masters of the Universe - In 1981, after the character Orko appeared in the cartoon He-Man, in a move that confused most of the world, Neal sued the cartoon company for infring...
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