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Darwin Loves Us!
Entry Logged on: March 13, 2009 to Part 1 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)Page Views: 403 - Times Displayed: 6900
In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection theory. Confusingly, the Vatican has suppressed this information for generations.
He couldn't have been that mad; he gave us a signed copy!
Photo by: Neal
Tags:
.10000 bce(1)
ancient wonders(9)
body parts(14)
christian(8)
evolution(5)
inventions(49)
people of history(33)
prehistoric(6)
Names Mentioned:
charles darwin(2)
vatican(3)
<< Previous Saga Entry
(The Prolific Pancake Pileup) Next Saga Entry >>
(The Opposable Nose: The Origin)
(The Prolific Pancake Pileup) Next Saga Entry >>
(The Opposable Nose: The Origin)
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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality:
charles darwin(2),
vatican(3)
Tags:
- .10000 bce - (No Other Entries)
- ancient wonders - (8 Other Entries)
- There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
- Napoleon's iPod: The Origin - In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the lo...
- Feats of Strength!™ - In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using ...
- The World's Gone Tipsy - In 1932 the Italian government hired George to stabilize the Leaning Tower of Pisa to prevent its collapse. Starting during its construction and cont...
- Igpay Atinlay: The Origin - Onway ethay iptray ackbay otay 2010 Ealnay andway Eorgegay accidentallyway entway otay 2010 BCEAY. Erethay eythay inventedway Igpay Atinlay. Ethay ang...
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- body parts - (13 Other Entries)
- Love Aid Rings - In 1951, George and Neal decided to make a line of "Love Aid Rings" to sell to the public. Neal designed them based upon his own body, which he felt w...
- Rudolph: The Origin - In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape ...
- Golden Spleens - In 4539 George and Neal decided to dabble in alchemy and turned themselves into golden statues. Luckily the effects were only temporary and by 5935 t...
- Lava Lamps: The Origin - In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward...
- Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
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- christian - (7 Other Entries)
- Joy to Everyone! - In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make C...
- George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
- Olympic Snowball - In 2022, at George and Neal's insistence (ok, it was actually persistence - we agreed to finally stop whining about it if the IOC included it - we can...
- EastKippur - In an effort to unify religions, George and Neal combined Easter and Yom Kippur, (known as "EastKippur"). Unfortunately, this resulted in a cruel iron...
- Keeping Kosher - Neal enjoys eating pickled pig snouts, but only if they're Kosher. George enjoys eating all the foods his wife won't let him eat.
- Show All...
- evolution - (4 Other Entries)
- Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - 680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmind...
- Skullets Rock! - In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick ...
- Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
- Unintelligent Design - In 2111 George and Neal made waves in the ongoing debate on Evolution vs. Creationism with a new theory of Unintelligent Design, which states that a d...
- inventions - (48 Other Entries)
- When Lemurade Fails - When Neal's recipe for Lemurade failed to catch on in the early 1900s, George suggested that it may have been because Lemurade didn't contain any actu...
- Tic-Tac-Toe-Two - George and Neal have an unhealthy obsession with Milton Bradley and other board games. This obsession, however, has proven beneficial. For instance Ge...
- Emoticlish - Emoticons will become the dominant language in 2028 for nearly every nation. In the rare nation that does not adopt Emoticlish (as it is referred to i...
- Phhhhlbtttt!!! - In 1927 there were actually 14 months to the year. Elevember came after December and Simbulary came after April. Earth revolved around the sun a bit s...
- Slap-Bracelets: The Origin - In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustratio...
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- people of history - (32 Other Entries)
- Who's the Bossasaur? - In 1904, just one year after Elmer Riggs published his paper stating that Apatosaurus and Brontosaurus were the same creature, George and Neal discove...
- Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story - In 1982, Neal and George wrote, produced, and starred in the off-Broadway musical, "Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story." The play, which had an ...
- Two Seamstresses, One Thimble - In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral ...
- Arctic Camping - From October 1907 to May 1909 George and Neal camped out at the North Pole. We're not sure why exactly since it was very cold, there wasn't much to ea...
- Team Ghandi - In 1972, not satisfied with only two teams, Neal and George created Chicago's third major league baseball team, Team Ghandi. Unfortunately, the team n...
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- prehistoric - (5 Other Entries)
- Lavender, Lavender Everywhere - In 2013, Neal and George totally negated existence as a result of a time paradox created by the two. In 2015, Neal and George totally fixed the proble...
- The Opposable Nose: The Origin - In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. Ho...
- Vacationing in 165,003 B.C. - In 165,003 BCE George and Neal visited Macronesia, a large continent in the now Pacific Ocean (not to be confused with Macaronesia in the Atlantic). U...
- 2 Already Displayed with Another Tag
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Other Posts:
- Sisters of Endless Guilt - In 1962 George and Neal dressed as nuns and moved into the Sisters of Endless Guilt convent, just for kicks. We lived there for three and a half month...
- World's First Selfie - It was widely thought that Robert Cornelius took the very first self-portrait (or "selfie") in 1839. However, the truth is, not surprisingly, much mo...
- Witness Protection - In 1992, when they were prime witnesses in the trial of Chicago's Polish Mafia boss Mogul Downhillski, George and Neal entered witness protection wher...
- Just Another Barbecue - In the summer of 2009, George and Neal had a barbecue. (Hey, not everything is as exciting as time traveling or fighting off townspeople.) Oh yeah, th...
- Present Cookies. Which could also be given as presents. So, a double win. - In 1918, David Jung (arguably) invented the fortune cookie. Given its immense popularity, George and Neal created a cookie that told you your present...
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