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We'd Need a Thneed Indeed!

Entry Logged on: May 16, 2009 to Part 2 by: George
Page Views: 259 - Times Displayed: 7764

In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industry to Dr. Seuss who wrote the story "The Lorax". Fortunately the story was an exaggeration of what could happen, but we were much more responsible with our manufacturing process, using only cutting edge sustainable technology, including using biofuels, 99% recycling efforts, solar cells and solar collectors to generate heat and electricity, reforestation projects, and more. Our patented Thneed Manufacturing Process was so low impact that most people don't even know it existed. And I guess that was our downfall. No one bought our Thneeds. In 2008 George brought suit against Fosdick Corporation, the company which markets the Snuggie, a blatant rip-off of the Thneed. Neal also filed suit against Fosdick Corporation, but because they are using the trademarked name he uses for his line of underwear (which he exclusively models). Neal's Fosdick Tighty Whiteys sell worse than the Thneeds...

Tags: 1965(1) 1971(1) 2008(6) business ventures(46) inventions(49) lawsuits(13) neal's fashion sense(21) scantily clad people(15)
Names Mentioned: dr. seuss(2) fosdick corporation(1) snuggie(1)
Entry Logged By: George

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: dr. seuss(2), fosdick corporation(1), snuggie(1)

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  • 1965 - (No Other Entries)
  • 1971 - (No Other Entries)
  • 2008 - (5 Other Entries)
    • An end to worldwide tortoise hunger! - In 2008, George and Neal became extremely productive after discovering they could use their time machine to sleep 9 hours each night, while only reall...
    • Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce - In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superio...
    • Bucket Run - George was not the inventor of the famed "bucket run" at U of I, despite the widely held belief (the original bucket run was not actually invented, bu...
    • 2008 Election Campaigns - During the 2008 election season, George and Neal were hired by Barack Obama's marketing team to come up with catchy ditties about the man. After writi...
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  • business ventures - (45 Other Entries)
    • Big Triangular Shaped Buildings - In 2540 BCE George and Neal designed and supervised the construction of the great Pyramid at Giza. We didn't use slave labor like many historians susp...
    • Play With George's Balls! - Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest ga...
    • When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin - In 1906 George accidentally originated the popular phrase "When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade." This phrase was later published in Volume 26, ...
    • Mmmmmmm... George Juice! - For unexplained reasons, George loves to bathe in Worcestershire sauce (which Dictionary.com defines as a "savory sauce of vinegar, soy sauce and spic...
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  • inventions - (48 Other Entries)
    • It Hood Ats Fla Was - In 2014, George decided that he could make a better dictation-to-text program than what was currently available (such as Dragon Dictation and Apple's ...
    • President Obama's Education Recovery Effort - In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up...
    • Sleep Sleep Revolution - Hoping to get in on the "full body motion" video games made popular by the Wii and XBox Kinect, George and Neal invented "Sleep Sleep Revolution." Sa...
    • PDD Reactor - In 2068 George and Neal invented the PDD Reactor, a source of nearly endless energy. It converts Poopy Disposable Diapers into highly efficient energy...
    • Binabble and Mon-opoly - Also in 2006, George invented a scrabble board game, called "Binabble" and instead of letters, you could only use 1's and 0's. The game didn't sell ve...
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  • lawsuits - (12 Other Entries)
    • Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint - For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their for...
    • Visiting Eternia - In 1988 George and Neal used their teleportation device to travel to the planet Eternia to inform the inhabitants of the successful legal proceedings ...
    • Neal's On Wheels - (Ahem). In 2040, Neal offered a new service to the general public, wherein he would transport people on his back while riding on roller skates. He cal...
    • The Prolific Pancake Pileup - Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that...
    • Nealotards - For six years, from 2021 to 2027 Neal tried very hard to get the world to pick up male-leotards as the latest fashion trend (he called them Nealotards...
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  • neal's fashion sense - (20 Other Entries)
    • Don't Let Coronavirus Cancel Your Wedding - In 1921 George and Neal founded their bridal fashion line. Unfortunately George and Neal knew absolutely nothing about bridal fashion and their compa...
    • KISS - George and Neal were once part of the rock band KISS, but left the band in 1974 because they didn't think makeup of a raccoon and chimp respectively w...
    • Don Cherry's Wardrobe: The Origin - George and Neal are in charge or Don Cherry's wardrobe.
    • Going all Einstein on your mouth... - In order to celebrate his genius, George and Neal went back in time to 1952 to meet Albert Einstein. Rather than being interested in scientific breakt...
    • Monkey Back Guarantee! - In 2030, it became extremely fashionable to have a hairy back. To cash in on this trend, George and Neal created a lotion that would increase the hai...
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  • scantily clad people - (14 Other Entries)
    • We the Bad-Ass Americans - George and Neal went on a vacation/bender in 1776 (again with the time machine). Luckily, though wackiness ensued, nothing was altered in our time-lin...
    • Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Te...
    • Two Seamstresses, One Thimble - In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral ...
    • Girls Gone Tame - In 2021, to capitalize on the new, extremely modest trends in fashion, George and Neal made millions off their new video series called "Girls Gone Tam...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Happy Apocalypse Eve! - On December 20, 2012 George and Neal discovered that the world was not in fact ending, according to previous beliefs based on the Mayan calendar. Rath...
  • We Made Bon Jovi Cool - In early 1986 Bon Jovi was working on their album Slippery When Wet. Because their previous album wasn't as successful as they had hoped, they hired ...
  • Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
  • - After George invented the semicolon in Aught 8, Neal loved it so much;; that he decided; to use; it;;; whenever; he;; could.;; Neal's invention of the...
  • The Georgeless Bunch - In 1969, George was up for the role as Greg Brady on the show The Brady Bunch. However, George did not get the part due to "accidentally" throwing a f...


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