The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


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The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.

So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).

Or, just click on one of the ads on our site. We'll get a few pennies, and there's no obligation for you, guaranteed or your money back!

Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.

Documentation started in February of 2009
 

George and Neal, sometime
in space and pudding.

In The Beginning... The chronicles of George and Neal are, for historians, a difficult thing to present. To say that very little is known about both men would be erroneous - in reality, the opposite is true. However, due to certain "chronal anomalies," the direct result of George and Neal's forays into time travel, it therefore becomes nearly impossible to lay out their history in a sequential manner.

For example, from 1982 to 1997, George and Neal organized ThimbleCon, an annual meeting of thimble enthusiasts everywhere that didn't actually happen until 2008, when George and Neal were ages 25 and 24, respectively. In 1976, during their respective ages of 35 and 34, they had success as the roller-derby team, "Peaches and CREAM!" ... But which to present first? The 1976 event came second - when they were in their 30s. The 2008 event occurred when the two were in their 20s, however they were in their late 60s when their fascination for thimbles drove them to start organizing the annual event. Much of their lives jump around in this willy-nilly fashion, so much so that most of those dedicated to presenting this information have suffered neurological maladies attempting to present their chronicles.

Rather than joining the ranks of the near-mad, this nameless historian has chosen to present this information as the events folded in the heroes' (a.k.a sexual dynamos, as some refer to them) lives. You, Faithful Reader, can now, for the first time ever, vicariously experience the greatness of the Triumphant Two. To say that this website will enhance the lives of billions, and change the world forever, would be an understatement.... But let's begin, shall we?


Last Updated March 06, 2019 - Jump To: 10 Recent Entries - Newest Entries

367 Enlightening Entries & Over 292 Awe Inspiring Images!

NEW: Now you can read the whole Saga on your favorite ebook reader! What's better than free ebooks? Well, probably a lot of things, but how can you pass up reading these wonderful adventures for free on your favorite ebook reader? So download the Saga now and take us with you on your next adventure (or to the bathroom, we won't judge you)!

Download the whole Saga in your favorite free ebook format: And be sure to come back for the latest version of your free ebook! We'll keep updating the free ebooks as we add entries to the Saga!


The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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Disclaimer and Stuff:

"In infinite space, even the most unlikely events must take place somewhere. People with the same
appearance, name and memories as you, who play out every possible permutation of your life choices."
- Professor Max Tegmark, Dept. of Physics, MIT -

The events related in The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! are completely true and really happened (or will happen). If your recollection of history does not exactly match those depicted below that may be because you exist in a different universe than where the events take place. People, places, and events related below may not necessarily represent those of your reality, so if something offends, irritates, annoys, aggravates, infuriates, bothers, hurts, chafes, vexes, infects, provokes, insults, affronts, abuses, slights, confuses, astounds, bamboozles, mystifies, baffles, perverts, misrepresents, depraves, debauches, spoils, destroys, putrefies, assaults, deceives, obstructs, frustrates, penetrates, creeps, disturbs, or fondles you or your worldview, please don't sue us. Things may be different in your reality than they are in ours. In fact, I'm willing to bet that they are different. If they aren't you might want to seek medical attention. If, on the other hand we have inspired, enlightened, educated, entertained, bewildered, or caressed you, please leave us a comment at www.george-and-neal-are-awesome.info

The documentation of this adventure began in February 2009 by Neal Simon and George Jaros. It quickly grew to epic proportions (that's what she said) and is still being updated periodically as of November 2019. For the latest entries visit www.george-and-neal-are-awesome.info

"If a universe can be imagined, it exists."
- Professor M.R. Franks, Member, Royal Astronomical Society of Canada -


 

The Latest Entries:

10 Entries on This Page

 
View & Share:
Pre-Pre-Plagarism

Views: 188/1282
Added: 08/09/2017

On April 1, 2023, Neal was constantly repeating everything that George said. It was later discovered that as a practical joke George used the time traveling machine to go back in time to learn what Neal was about to say, then said it moments before Neal said it, so it appeared like Neal was constantly copying George. Although annoyed by that joke, Neal liked the concept of pre-plagiarism, and used it to "ghost-write" such novels as Wuthering Heights, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and A Confederacy of Dunces which he then sold to the authors who originally wrote the books in the first place. (Though, given that each of the authors only wrote one book, it's quite possible that Neal actually wrote the books himself at some point in the time continuum, and simply sold his manuscripts to those authors.)

But you overlooked this tiny bit! (That's what she said.)

Tags: A Confederacy of Dunces(2) April Fools(2) emile bronte(2) John Kennedy Toole(2) oscar wilde(2) The Picture of Dorian Gray(2) wuthering heights(2)
Names Mentioned: A Confederacy of Dunces(2) Emile Bronte(2) john kennedy toole(2) Oscar Wilde(2) the picture of dorian gray(2) Wuthering Heights(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
Pre-Plagarism

Views: 179/1281
Added: 08/09/2017

On April 1, 2023, Neal was constantly repeating everything that George said. It was later discovered that as a practical joke George used the time traveling machine to go back in time to learn what Neal was about to say, then said it moments before Neal said it, so it appeared like Neal was constantly copying George. Although annoyed by that joke, Neal liked the concept of pre-plagiarism, and used it to "ghost-write" such novels as Wuthering Heights, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and A Confederacy of Dunces which he then sold to the authors who originally wrote the books in the first place. (Though, given that each of the authors only wrote one book, it's quite possible that Neal actually wrote the books himself at some point in the time continuum, and simply sold his manuscripts to those authors.)

Tags: A Confederacy of Dunces(2) April Fools(2) emile bronte(2) John Kennedy Toole(2) oscar wilde(2) The Picture of Dorian Gray(2) wuthering heights(2)
Names Mentioned: A Confederacy of Dunces(2) Emile Bronte(2) john kennedy toole(2) Oscar Wilde(2) the picture of dorian gray(2) Wuthering Heights(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
View & Share:
I Like My Cartoon Men Like I Like My Fish, Round and Pudgy

Views: 229/819
Added: 09/11/2017

During 2003, while involved in their historic "Dare Ya..." competitions, Neal said, "George, I dare ya to create a real life Ziggy," (the adorable, nonthreatening newspaper comic strip character). Neal was deeply satisfied with this dare, as he knew this was an impossible feat. What creature could possibly survive, maintaining such a pudgy, globulous body?

Undaunted, George was determined and attempted to create a real life Ziggy. To George's great frustration, experiment after experiment failed. Months passed without success. Ultimately, refusing to concede, George managed to create a fish that looked exactly like Ziggy.

 

I Like My Cartoon Men Like I Like My Fish, Round and Pudgy - That... is a strong likeness.

That... is a strong likeness.

Photo by: Neal

Neal could not deny the strong likeness, but argued George did not create an actual "Ziggy person" therefore failing the challenge (a debate the two have argued over every subsequent "Dare Ya" competitions). In any event, after the competition was over George found the fish a good home - meaning he chucked it over the side of a bridge.

Somehow, the fish thrived and even reproduced. Later that year, the fish was discovered by an ichthyologist. While George understood why the scientist named it the "blobfish", he couldn't help but be slightly disappointed the scientist didn't note its resemblance to Ziggy.

[Editor's note: The Ugly Animal Preservation Society conducted a poll to determine its official mascot. More than three thousand people voted. The Blobfish won by a landslide.]

Tags: 2003(3) blobfish(1) dare ya(1) science(28) ziggy(1)
Names Mentioned: Ziggy(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)

 
View & Share:
Now THAT's a Timeline!

Views: 144/805
Added: 10/02/2018

For many years, the makers of the card game Timeline sought to create a “George and Neal”-centric game. However, given the convoluted and ever-changing history affected by the duo’s chronal exploits, it made creating the game impossible. It was only after the first biography, The Grand Saga of George and Neal’s Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding) was published in 2018, that the chronology became clear.

 

Now THAT's a Timeline! - The game is probably too easy... I mean, who doesn’t know when George Juice was developed, relative to when those extremely attractive Pleasurebots were created?

The game is probably too easy... I mean, who doesn’t know when George Juice was developed, relative to when those extremely attractive Pleasurebots were created?

Photo by: Neal

Now, G&N-ophiles can show off their knowledge by bragging they know when Neal gave his body to science, and whether that was before or after George babysat Metallica’s James Hatfield. Curiously, when the makers of timeline refused to share their profits with George and Neal, it was immediately discovered that an exact identical Timeline game was published 100 years earlier (copyrighted by George and Neal), under the name Timeline: The This Is What Happens When You Won’t Share Profits Edition.

 

 - Copyrights are meaningless against time-traveling grudge-holders.

Copyrights are meaningless against time-traveling grudge-holders.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: card game(1) eyebrows(1) giraffes(1) gorillas(1) love bots(1) pleasurebots(1) punch out(1) spores(1) timeline(1) timeline card game(1)
Names Mentioned: card game(1) eyebrows(1) giraffes(1) gorillas(1) love bots(1) pleasurebots(1) punch out(2) spores(1) timeline(1) timeline card game(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)

 
View & Share:
Why Read For Free What You Can Pay Money For?

Views: 124/61
Added: 10/15/2018

Then there was the time that the entire George and Neal saga appeared in book purchasable book form, on Blurb.com (http://www.blurb.com/b/8323918-the-grand-saga-of-george-and-neal-s-adventures-thr).

Now you, too, can purchase a book, the contents of which can be read entirely for free online!

Entry Logged By: Other

 
View & Share:
I Had Another Dream

Views: 124/580
Added: 12/12/2018

In 1940 George and Neal wrote and released a song entitled Dreaming of a Purple Christmas. The song was mildly successful and in 1941 Irving Berlin wrote a parody called White Christmas. Oddly, the parody went on to garner more success than the original. In 1948 Doye O'Dell recorded Blue Christmas, a direct statement in support of colored Christmas songs. Over the next few years a whole slew of Christmas songs were released, each one promoting segregation of holiday colors. Tensions rose and things finally came to a head in the 1960s with the extremely controversial 1966 Grateful Dead song, Rainbow Christmas. On December 24, 1967 Martin Luther King Jr. spoke to a throng of millions during a Christmas Eve march to the Capital Plaza Mall.

"I had another dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their Christmas snow, but by the contents of their presents. I had another dream that one day Christmases will be celebrated with snow of all colors; red, green, white, blue, black, gray, and yellow. OK, maybe not the yellow snow, but you see where I'm going with this..."

 

I Had Another Dream - Dr. King's "I Had Another Dream" speech isn't quite as well known as his previous speeches, but it was instrumental in promoting a multi-colored Christmas.  Today you can even buy multi-colored Christmas lights.

Dr. King's "I Had Another Dream" speech isn't quite as well known as his previous speeches, but it was instrumental in promoting a multi-colored Christmas. Today you can even buy multi-colored Christmas lights.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1940(1) 1941(1) 1948(3) 1960s(3) 1966(2) 1967(3) music(26) oh the colors!(1) our bands(9) we wrote that(3) yellow snow(1)
Names Mentioned: Doy O'Dell(1) dr. martin luther king jr.(1) grateful dead(1) irving berlin(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
Happy 10th - no wait - 1020th anniversary!

Views: 112/273
Added: 01/14/2019

February 2019 marks the 10th anniversary of the Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

....well, February 2019 did originally. Then George took the chronicles to 1009 a.d., to let the masses enjoy such a good saga. He was praised so much there/then, that he decided to continue writing it from that point on, now making February 2019 the 1,020 year anniversary.

....well, February 2019 did at that point. Then Neal took the chronicles back to 75 B.C.....

Tags: 1009 a.d.(1) 2019(3) 75 B.C.(1) Anniversary(1) February(1)
Names Mentioned: george jaros(13) Neal Simon(9)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Tic Tac Toe... Eewwww...

Views: 119/567
Added: 02/11/2019

In 2039 the game Tic Tac Toe had a huge resurgence in popularity when Neal discovered that the game had a hidden Easter Egg, where you could actually play on the lines instead of the squares. This opened up many new strategies, that for centuries, had been hidden and remained unexplored. In order to cash in on the Tic Tac Toe hype, George partnered with Ferrero SpA candy company on a new line of candy. Tic Tac Toes were less popular than their minty counterparts, but they sold reasonably well for most of the next decade.

 

Tic Tac Toe... Eewwww... - This was the variety pack.  Some of the most popular flavors, like Hyperhidrosis, Corns, and Burst Blister, came in their own packaging.

This was the variety pack. Some of the most popular flavors, like Hyperhidrosis, Corns, and Burst Blister, came in their own packaging.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2039(1) biological warfare(2) business ventures(44) candy crush(3) food(45) food poisoning(3) foot odor(3) games(15) george and neal(3) stinky feet(3) things george eats(3) things neal eats(9) things we made better(4) those look like comfortable shoes(3)
Names Mentioned: Ferrero SpA(1) Tic Tac(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

   

Newest Entries from 03/06/2019:

View & Share:
George and Neal: Confession Time

Views: 169/659
Added: 03/06/2019

George and Neal have constantly manipulated reality through their countless (well, really infinite, if you consider the multiverse versions of George and Neal) time traveling. Their efforts have benefited the universe over and over. For example, many species, like the "bear" and the "dog," have been brought back from extinction. Metal underpants have been eliminated from existence in favor of cotton (you're welcome, people's junk). Asparagus Juice is no longer a thing...

... but every change is not categorically a good one. George's biggest regret is that now most of the world uses the "Gold Standard". Previously, the world used the much more reliable and sensible "Muppet Standard."

 

George and Neal: Confession Time - On the reverse side of the coin: "C is for Currency, and that's good enough for me!"

On the reverse side of the coin: "C is for Currency, and that's good enough for me!"

Photo by: Other - Caption by: Neal

Although memory of the Muppet Standard has mostly faded from George's memory, he still recalls buying a hot chocolate one cold morning, handing over four Miss Piggies, and still getting a few Rolfs back. Things were cheaper back then.

Tags: Beaker(1) big bird(1) cookie monster(1) currency(1) kermit(1) miss piggy(1) money(1) muppets(1) sesame street(1)
Names Mentioned: Beaker(1) big bird(1) cookie monster(1) currency(1) kermit(1) miss piggy(1) money(1) muppets(1) sesame street(4)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Other (1)

 
View & Share:
Sisqo's Lullaby

Views: 113/360
Added: 03/06/2019

In 2018 George's third kid served as inspiration to his greatest gift to the human race. He noticed that Andrew was very mobile and kept having problems with his diaper shifting into odd positions. Additionally, diapers are really not all that stylish. So he worked with leading fashion designers (but mostly Neal and Sisqo) to come up with a new design for the traditional nappy. Since then Thong Diapers have become all the rage and have changed the course of history.

 

Sisqo's Lullaby - Seventh Generation was the first company to jump on board with this civilization changing revolution in diaper design.  Less material in the diapers means they're much more environmentally friendly.  Maybe not for your immediate environment, but overall they really helped.

Seventh Generation was the first company to jump on board with this civilization changing revolution in diaper design. Less material in the diapers means they're much more environmentally friendly. Maybe not for your immediate environment, but overall they really helped.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2018(4) environment(1) fashion(3) inventions(48)
Names Mentioned: Seventh Generation(1) Sisqo(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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