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Swingin' Records!

Entry Logged on: April 19, 2013 to Part 3 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Page Views: 287 - Times Displayed: 11022

In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship (1985), "Who Let the Dogs Out?" by Baha Boys (2000), and "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka (1974). Their songs were all chart-topping, yet widely held as the worst songs ever made. (For a full list of their super-popular, super-terrible songs, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_music_considered_the_worst#Songs).

Prompted by their musical success, George and Neal released their own record, George and Neal Get Aural. Some people say the music was misunderstood, because it was way ahead of its time; but some people are idiots. The music was atrocious. The album was released on January 6, 1953. One day later, President Truman announced that the US developed the Hydrogen Bomb. George and Neal believe this to be no coincidence, and was in direct response to their album's release. Nevertheless, the album spawned three hit singles, "The Ballad of Clem (Who?)", "Misplaced Coinpurse", and "Party Like It's 1234 B.C." (the latter forming the basis for George and Neal's lawsuit against Prince for his song "Party Like It's 1999" despite the fact that they wrote the song in 2016 (well after Prince released his song) but released it in 1953.)

 

Swingin' Records! - Sorry, girls, they're married.

Sorry, girls, they're married.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1953(1) 1974(6) 1985(4) 2000(7) 2016(8) best album ever(1) celebrities(69) chart topping(4) get aural(2) great music(4) hot tunes(2) lawsuits(13) music(26) our bands(9) party like its 1999(2) record(1) trippy(1) we built this city on rock and roll(3) who let the dogs out(2) you're having my baby(1)
Names Mentioned: Baha Boys(2) jefferson starship(1) paul anka(1) president truman(2) prince(4) starship(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

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(Mace, the other Dark Side)
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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: Baha Boys(2), jefferson starship(1), paul anka(1), president truman(2), prince(4), starship(1)

Tags:
  • 1953 - (No Other Entries)
  • 1974 - (5 Other Entries)
    • Chainsaw Wielding Raccoons - In 1974 George and Neal prevented a hostile takeover of the US by an army of chainsaw wielding raccoons. We did this by training squirrels to use nail...
    • Ten Cent Beer Night - On June 4th, 1974 George and Neal organized the first (and last) ever Ten Cent Beer Night at the Cleveland Municipal Stadium. The event was both a rag...
    • Sciuridaetopian National Independent Commando Killing Elite Reactionary Squirrel Team - In 1994 George and Neal prevented a hostile takeover of the US by an army of chainsaw wielding raccoons (yes, again). Luckily our nail gun firing squi...
    • Zardoz - When George and Neal were told they could do costume designing for Sean Connery, they jumped at the opportunity. Not because they liked Sean Connery -...
    • KISS - George and Neal were once part of the rock band KISS, but left the band in 1974 because they didn't think makeup of a raccoon and chimp respectively w...
    • Show All...
  • 1985 - (3 Other Entries)
    • New George and New Neal - On April 23, 1985, Coca-Cola changed its formula and released the New Coke. Not to be outdone, George and Neal intentionally altered their DNA to crea...
    • Chronal Warriors George - With the success of Hasbro's Transformers and G.I. Joe toy lines, rival toy company Tonka sought to create their own action figure toy lines. After a...
    • Play With George's Balls! - Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest ga...
  • 2000 - (6 Other Entries)
    • Worst... Enya... Ever... - George was the fifth Beatle. However, due to a problem with the time machine, he had to forsake this role, give up fame and fortune and return to his ...
    • 7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago - In 2001 George and Neal went hang gliding from the top of the 7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago (yes, we know it was never built... in this timeline, ...
    • Fun With Genetics - Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted li...
    • Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch - In 2000 George and Neal traveled to Africa and met Mr. Fred Abeku, the present branch Manager of Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch, opp...
    • Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson - Unbeknownst to many, and typical for a Hollywood film, 2000s blockbuster hit Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was nowhere near as good as the Broadway m...
    • Show All...
  • 2016 - (7 Other Entries)
    • Presidential Passion! - Originally, Mel Gibson won the 2016 election. Thanks to George and Neal's time machine, this was averted. Unfortunately, Mel Gibson also had a time ...
    • That Crazy Bette - On April 25, 2014 Bette Midler was finally successful in her dastardly plot to capture Neal and George. Using a baked lasagna she was able to lure th...
    • Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016 - Exhausted with the mean-spirited nature of recent presidential elections as well as the inability of presidents to follow through on campaign promises...
    • International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
    • Pokemon STOP - In 2016, the phone app Pokemon:GO! was extremely popular. Kids, adults, and chimpanzees capable of stealing iPhones were all playing this highly addi...
    • Show All...
  • best album ever - (No Other Entries)
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • Teeth are for Wussies, so Give Edentulous a Chance - In order to prevent George and Neal from becoming destitute after the ADA failed to support their new toothpaste approximately three dozen musicians, ...
    • Basic Instinct - George was the prime candidate for the Sharon Stone role in Basic Instinct. When George passed on the role, due only to the fact that taking the role ...
    • Marshmonica as Endorsed by John Popper - Dateline, 2058: In an effort to feed as well as entertain the homeless, George and Neal invented the first edible harmonica. Much to George's dismay, ...
    • Vatican Idol and Spin-offs - In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singi...
    • Lady Gaga vs P!nk - In 2011 the debate over which female music artist was the craziest resulted in a UFC cage match between Lady Gaga and P!nk. The match lasted 12 hours ...
    • Show All...
  • chart topping - (3 Other Entries)
    • Joy to Everyone! - In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make C...
    • Rue Bourbon is Distracting - In 2069 George and Neal wrote a musical, called "Home to Where the Sun Rises". The smash hit spent four years on Broadway before touring the world. ...
    • Joanie Loves Churros - In 1978 a temporary glitch in George and Neal's Time Machine (well, not so much a glitch as Neal spilling a tub of Tang drink mix onto the controls - ...
  • get aural - (1 Other Entry)
    • The Wilhelm Scream and Other Sounds - The Wilhelm Scream is pretty well known for being a sound effect used in many, many movies. What is less well known is that George and Neal also prov...
  • great music - (3 Other Entries)
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • 2 Already Displayed with Another Tag
  • hot tunes - (1 Other Entry)
    • 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
  • lawsuits - (12 Other Entries)
    • Neal's On Wheels - (Ahem). In 2040, Neal offered a new service to the general public, wherein he would transport people on his back while riding on roller skates. He cal...
    • The Prolific Pancake Pileup - Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that...
    • 2008 Election Campaigns - During the 2008 election season, George and Neal were hired by Barack Obama's marketing team to come up with catchy ditties about the man. After writi...
    • Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy - In 2004, George and Neal publish their educational children's book, "Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy". The book was ...
    • We'd Need a Thneed Indeed! - In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industr...
    • Show All...
  • music - (25 Other Entries)
    • Hair, Inc. - In 1964 George and Neal started their niche business "Hair, Inc." in which they supplied the hair for your favorite rock stars and other celebrities. ...
    • Golden Spleens - In 4539 George and Neal decided to dabble in alchemy and turned themselves into golden statues. Luckily the effects were only temporary and by 5935 t...
    • Definitely not Vain - In 1988, Neal and Billy Joel started a fire. Billy Joel denies it. In 2000, Carly Simon admitted she wrote "You're so Vain" about her 10-month, steamy...
    • Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
    • They like us, they REALLY like us! - Somehow, a tribute video was found in 1035 A.D. Weird... The video is a collection of photos from some of George and Neal's greatest achievements, set...
    • Show All...
  • our bands - (8 Other Entries)
    • Couch Vibrations with Brian Wilson - As long as we're on the topic of classic rock music groups, it should be noted that George, Neal, and Brian Wilson were founding members of the Beach ...
    • Band Camp - Then there was that one time, in band camp... But we won't go there.
    • I Had Another Dream - In 1940 George and Neal wrote and released a song entitled Dreaming of a Purple Christmas. The song was mildly successful and in 1941 Irving Berlin w...
    • The Rolling Beatles - So very, very tired of endless "Beatles vs. Stones" arguments, in 2022, George and Neal decided to do the only logical thing to resolve the issue: go ...
    • From the generic - From the generic "How Do You Know" fields:Lived together?You lived in Sin in 1998.You lived in a van down by the river (but we swear nothing steamy ha...
    • Show All...
  • party like its 1999 - (1 Other Entry)
    • 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
  • record - (No Other Entries)
  • trippy - (No Other Entries)
  • we built this city on rock and roll - (2 Other Entries)
    • The World's Gone Tipsy - In 1932 the Italian government hired George to stabilize the Leaning Tower of Pisa to prevent its collapse. Starting during its construction and cont...
    • We Made Bon Jovi Cool - In early 1986 Bon Jovi was working on their album Slippery When Wet. Because their previous album wasn't as successful as they had hoped, they hired ...
  • who let the dogs out - (1 Other Entry)
    • George let the dogs out! - In 1998 George let the dogs out, but he let them back in as soon as they were finished doing their duty. Anslem Douglas didn't believe him though and...
  • you're having my baby - (No Other Entries)
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Oh God I Shot Momma - In 1949, George starred in the off-Broadway (well, off-off Broadway) play "Oh God I Shot Momma" as the corpse. On a completely different note, that sa...
  • 2015 - In 2015 George and Neal will have finalized all of the details surrounding their friendship. That is, until 2016, when they will have to chronicle all...
  • The Damnation that was Smurfs - In 2099 scientists astounded the world by developing genetically engineered little blue creatures that wore nothing but white pants and hats. OK, so ...
  • The Secret Society of ¤ - In 1956 George and Neal founded a super-duper-triple-secret organization. I can't tell you the name of the society or I would have to kill you, but I ...
  • We Didn't Do 'Q' - In 1669 Neal invented the ellipses (...), however his first version was flawed. George suggested adding two more dots so that people would stop confus...


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