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What's a Typewriter?

Entry Logged on: August 13, 2009 to Part 2 by: George - Photos by: George (1)
Page Views: 673 - Times Displayed: 6258

In 2025 George and Neal received a grant from the US government to study the long held belief that if you give a billion monkeys a billion typewriters eventually they'll type the complete works of Shakespeare. Unfortunately our study ended prematurely after 32 years when one of the monkeys figured out how to convert the typewriter into a jackhammer and broke all the other monkeys out of our research facility. We were however left with several Stephen King novels, three seasons of Saturday Night Live, the 1876 edition of the Farmers Almanac, and "How to Win Friends & Influence People" translated to Klingon, not to mention a very stinky research facility.

 

What's a Typewriter? - The Klingon Language Edition of "How to Win Friends & Influence People" quickly became the best selling edition. Who would have thought that people who speak Klingon would need friends or would like to influence people?

The Klingon Language Edition of "How to Win Friends & Influence People" quickly became the best selling edition. Who would have thought that people who speak Klingon would need friends or would like to influence people?

Photo by: George

Tags: 2025(1) animals(16) languages(11) publications(14) save the aminals(6) science(28) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: dale carnegie(2) farmers almanac(1) how to win friends and influence people(1) saturday night live(1) start trek(1) stephen king(1) william shakespeare(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

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Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: dale carnegie(2), farmers almanac(1), how to win friends and influence people(1), saturday night live(1), start trek(1), stephen king(1), william shakespeare(2)

Tags:
  • 2025 - (No Other Entries)
  • animals - (15 Other Entries)
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    • Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
    • Joy to Everyone! - In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make C...
    • George let the dogs out! - In 1998 George let the dogs out, but he let them back in as soon as they were finished doing their duty. Anslem Douglas didn't believe him though and...
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  • languages - (10 Other Entries)
    • No means... - You know the saying "No means no", well, in 1929 a glitch in George and Neal's teleportation device actually caused a rift in the definition continuum...
    • We talked in haiku, | And then in anagrams, too. | Darned nuts, understand? - For a period of six months, George and Neal spoke only in haiku - followed by another period where they spoke only in anagrams. No one understood a si...
    • There's Waldo!!! - In 1998, Neal became overwhelmingly frustrated when he tried to crack the mysteries of the complex literary tome, "Where's Waldo?" After a near-breakd...
    • It Hood Ats Fla Was - In 2014, George decided that he could make a better dictation-to-text program than what was currently available (such as Dragon Dictation and Apple's ...
    • Igpay Atinlay: The Origin - Onway ethay iptray ackbay otay 2010 Ealnay andway Eorgegay accidentallyway entway otay 2010 BCEAY. Erethay eythay inventedway Igpay Atinlay. Ethay ang...
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  • publications - (13 Other Entries)
    • Couch Potatoes Illustrated - Hearing about the steep decline in readers for magazines such as Sports Illustrated and Men's Health, George and Neal decided to start their own magaz...
    • HeadPeriodical - In an effort to compete with Facebook, during 2011, Neal and George created the newest online community, HeadPeriodical. Seen by most as a cheap rip-o...
    • Facebroke - On June 1, 2009 Neal broke Facebook, preventing George from uploading his latest awesome photos. This apparent sabotage was too little, too late for H...
    • Hollow Earth - On and off for 35,000 years George and Neal worked on hollowing out the Earth. The dirt we hauled out was used to make the moon. The interior of the E...
    • Allergic to Peanuts - In 1950 George created a comic strip about a short bald kid that everyone picked on. The strip competed closely with another very similar comic strip ...
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  • save the aminals - (5 Other Entries)
    • Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless - In 1991, Neal organized a protest against brutality toward unicorns called Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless, or B.U.T.T. Decades later, George in...
    • Bob, I miss my testicles, you jerk! - In 1988, George and Neal created cats and dogs with opposable thumbs and above-average intellects. Everyone was thrilled with the evolutionary jump - ...
    • Here Be Dragons - On a trip back to 1227 BCE George and Neal discovered that dragons did in fact inhabit major portions of the earth. Different species of dragons lived...
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  • science - (27 Other Entries)
    • SUPER POWERS - In 1975 a hiccup in the Teleportation Device George and Neal use to travel instantaneously across huge distances caused them to swap realities with al...
    • Fun With Genetics - Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted li...
    • I Like My Cartoon Men Like I Like My Fish, Round and Pudgy - During 2003, while involved in their historic "Dare Ya..." competitions, Neal said, "George, I dare ya to create a real life Ziggy," (the adorable, no...
    • To boldly go... - Unbeknownst to most people, the original Star Trek series was actually a documentary series about George and Neal's adventures. Captain Kirk and his ...
    • Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - 680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmind...
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  • tv shows - (47 Other Entries)
    • Skullets Rock! - In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick ...
    • Free TV! - George and Neal can view the entire electromagnetic spectrum, not only visible light. This has many uses and has helped us with our amazing achievemen...
    • The George and Neal Newsnetwork - In 2040, Neal and George created a television news program devoted solely to chronicling their (mis)adventures, called the George and Neal Newsnetwork...
    • Cookin' with Martha and Neal - In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; howev...
    • Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Given the success of the novel (and soon to be movie) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a mashup story combining Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel Pride...
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View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016 - Exhausted with the mean-spirited nature of recent presidential elections as well as the inability of presidents to follow through on campaign promises...
  • Mmmm.... Gluten... - In 2010, George and Neal created a line of delicious, gluten-free food for those with gluten sensitivities. The food line was a gigantic hit for hund...
  • Sciuridaetopia Invades - In 2014 the United States was overrun by a large number of giant squirrels. Apparently our neighbor, Sciuridaetopia had been conducting top secret gen...
  • Darwin Loves Us! - In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection t...
  • Joanie Loves Churros - In 1978 a temporary glitch in George and Neal's Time Machine (well, not so much a glitch as Neal spilling a tub of Tang drink mix onto the controls - ...


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