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(March of 2009)


Feats of Strength!™

Entry Logged on: March 29, 2009 to Part 1 by: Neal
Page Views: 287 - Times Displayed: 6510

In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using his secret muscle enhancing device created, conveniently enough, by Neal and George years earlier, which was actually 1983 thanks to the time machine - don't think too hard about this, it might hurt your head). Not to be outdone, Neal lifted a cow and a boulder (he did not use the muscle enhancer; he's just that awesome). In disgust, George threw a boulder at Neal's head. Neal retaliated by throwing a series of rocks at George. This went back and forth for hours. After Neal and George called a truce - and after the townsfolk ran off in fear of being clocked in the noggin by a large rock - they rested on the piles of rocks they created, now called Stonehenge. Yeah, it happened just like that.

Tags: .2000 bce(1) 1983(6) amazing abilities(16) ancient wonders(9) body parts(14) britain(9) competition(10) prehistoric(6) sports(24) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) stonehenge(1) wiltshire(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: britain(8), stonehenge(1), wiltshire(1)

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  • .2000 bce - (No Other Entries)
  • 1983 - (5 Other Entries)
    • Able Archer 83: The Origin - In 1983, George devised a 10-day NATO exercise to simulate World War 3, so that all nations participating could see what would happen in the worst cas...
    • Sorry-for-the-Hyphens - In 1983, George and Neal started the hair-metal/country band "Sorry-for-the-Hyphens". They gained a small cult following as a result of their minor se...
    • From the generic - From the generic "How Do You Know" fields:Lived together?You lived in Sin in 1998.You lived in a van down by the river (but we swear nothing steamy ha...
    • Skullets Rock! - In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick ...
    • 1964 through 1969 - In 1983 Neal and George co-wrote a short story that chronicled their adventures from 1964 through 1969. The story was well received in the literary co...
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  • amazing abilities - (15 Other Entries)
    • Neal Simon's Manhood - Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) th...
    • Free TV! - George and Neal can view the entire electromagnetic spectrum, not only visible light. This has many uses and has helped us with our amazing achievemen...
    • That Bastard Chuck Norris - In 2077 George and Neal revolutionized the mathematical world when they discovered a method of dividing by zero. Yes, Chuck Norris did it first, but ...
    • uʍop ǝpısdn - In 2118 George and Neal turned the universe upside down. It was fun. Maybe we'll do it again some time.
    • Welcome aboard Adin! - In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and ad...
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  • ancient wonders - (8 Other Entries)
    • Darwin Loves Us! - In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection t...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • Big Triangular Shaped Buildings - In 2540 BCE George and Neal designed and supervised the construction of the great Pyramid at Giza. We didn't use slave labor like many historians susp...
    • George & Neal's Excellent Adventure - In 1988, Bill and Ted went on an excellent adventure. Nothing compared to the exploits of George and Neal, which the movie was based off of. However, ...
    • Igpay Atinlay: The Origin - Onway ethay iptray ackbay otay 2010 Ealnay andway Eorgegay accidentallyway entway otay 2010 BCEAY. Erethay eythay inventedway Igpay Atinlay. Ethay ang...
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  • body parts - (13 Other Entries)
    • The Opposable Nose: The Origin - In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. Ho...
    • Love Aid Rings - In 1951, George and Neal decided to make a line of "Love Aid Rings" to sell to the public. Neal designed them based upon his own body, which he felt w...
    • Bob, I miss my testicles, you jerk! - In 1988, George and Neal created cats and dogs with opposable thumbs and above-average intellects. Everyone was thrilled with the evolutionary jump - ...
    • Back Surgey - In 1997 both Neal and George had major back surgery after carrying one too many bathtubs full of caffeinated, carbonated, goodness. For any normal hum...
    • Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System - In 1758 George and Neal invented tooth paste. Their first attempt was made from actual ground up teeth and was used to hold in dentures, but eventuall...
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  • britain - (8 Other Entries)
    • The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland) - In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they g...
    • Vatican Idol and Spin-offs - In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singi...
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
    • Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
    • The Great Smog of '52 - In 1952 (but chronologically in 1997 during a trip in a time machine they co-invented) George and Neal visited London, resulting in the Great Smog of ...
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  • competition - (9 Other Entries)
    • I Dare You! - On September 6, 2010, George and Neal initiated a series of dares, each more shocking than the last. It started innocently enough, when George dared N...
    • Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016 - Exhausted with the mean-spirited nature of recent presidential elections as well as the inability of presidents to follow through on campaign promises...
    • Them Amazing Ladies - In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ...
    • The Rolling Beatles - So very, very tired of endless "Beatles vs. Stones" arguments, in 2022, George and Neal decided to do the only logical thing to resolve the issue: go ...
    • Synchronized Swimming - Remember Karate Kid? Well, George and Neal faced off against each other in a similar competition, except it was not Karate, but rather synchronized sw...
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  • prehistoric - (5 Other Entries)
    • Lavender, Lavender Everywhere - In 2013, Neal and George totally negated existence as a result of a time paradox created by the two. In 2015, Neal and George totally fixed the proble...
    • Vacationing in 165,003 B.C. - In 165,003 BCE George and Neal visited Macronesia, a large continent in the now Pacific Ocean (not to be confused with Macaronesia in the Atlantic). U...
    • Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - 680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmind...
    • 2 Already Displayed with Another Tag
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  • sports - (23 Other Entries)
    • Super Bowl: The Origin - In 1967 George and Neal shared the MVP award at the World Championship football game. When they were interviewed about their success, they were asked ...
    • We Got (no) Game! - Athletes. They command respect, admiration, and free Wheaties cereal. Having conquered every other field imaginable (and then creating fields not ye...
    • Kick-Ball Ball-Kick - Striking a blow for ball rights everywhere (Editor's note: I'm not touching that one - literally or figuratively), in 1973, George and Neal created th...
    • Peaches and CREAM! - Years later, Neal and George had limited success as the Rollerderby team, "Peaches and CREAM!"
    • 7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago - In 2001 George and Neal went hang gliding from the top of the 7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago (yes, we know it was never built... in this timeline, ...
    • Show All...
  • time machine - (36 Other Entries)
    • Cold Fusion - In 2035 George and Neal (using their time machine again) discovered the secret to producing Cold Fusion power. Unfortunately at the time they didn't r...
    • He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!' - The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police ...
    • Like a Boss - Tired of all the speculation, George went back to 1984 and showed the world who was the boss. It was George.
    • An end to worldwide tortoise hunger! - In 2008, George and Neal became extremely productive after discovering they could use their time machine to sleep 9 hours each night, while only reall...
    • We the Bad-Ass Americans - George and Neal went on a vacation/bender in 1776 (again with the time machine). Luckily, though wackiness ensued, nothing was altered in our time-lin...
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Other Posts:

  • No means... - You know the saying "No means no", well, in 1929 a glitch in George and Neal's teleportation device actually caused a rift in the definition continuum...
  • Geal - In 1955, a small village in Transylvania attempted to assassinate George and Neal for inventing Pig Latin. All attempts were unsuccessful, in part bec...
  • George and Neal and the Masters of the Universe - In 1981, after the character Orko appeared in the cartoon He-Man, in a move that confused most of the world, Neal sued the cartoon company for infring...
  • Mmmm.... Gluten... - In 2010, George and Neal created a line of delicious, gluten-free food for those with gluten sensitivities. The food line was a gigantic hit for hund...
  • Marshmonica as Endorsed by John Popper - Dateline, 2058: In an effort to feed as well as entertain the homeless, George and Neal invented the first edible harmonica. Much to George's dismay, ...


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