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Science Donations

Entry Logged on: February 18, 2009 to Part 1 by: Neal
Page Views: 617 - Times Displayed: 6861

In 1999, Neal tried to give his body to science. After 30 days, his body was returned as being defective.

Tags: 1999(3) body parts(14) failures(22) neal funk(18) science(28)
Entry Logged By: Neal

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Tags & Related Posts:

Tags:
  • 1999 - (2 Other Entries)
  • body parts - (13 Other Entries)
    • Neal Simon's Manhood - Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) th...
    • Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
    • Lava Lamps: The Origin - In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward...
    • Cookin' with Martha and Neal - In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; howev...
    • The Opposable Nose: The Origin - In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. Ho...
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  • failures - (21 Other Entries)
    • Marshmonica as Endorsed by John Popper - Dateline, 2058: In an effort to feed as well as entertain the homeless, George and Neal invented the first edible harmonica. Much to George's dismay, ...
    • Team Ghandi - In 1972, not satisfied with only two teams, Neal and George created Chicago's third major league baseball team, Team Ghandi. Unfortunately, the team n...
    • Get $245 Free (maybe) - In 1989 George and Neal were instrumental in the launch of the new chocolate DOVE Promises. Each wrapper featured an inspirational promise. Unfortunat...
    • A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... - A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, nothing happened because Star Wars was just a story made up by George Lucas (although the plot was loosely...
    • Slap-Bracelets: The Origin - In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustratio...
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  • neal funk - (17 Other Entries)
    • Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless - In 1991, Neal organized a protest against brutality toward unicorns called Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless, or B.U.T.T. Decades later, George in...
    • Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint - For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their for...
    • The Cure! - In 2018 George and Neal discovered a cure for the common cold. Well, not really discovered, but just stumbled upon. Well, not really stumbled upon, mo...
    • Going All Digital, and Clean(ish) - On February 9, 2009 by federal mandate George and Neal were required to go all digital. The mandate was immediately revoked and a new mandate required...
    • Paper Product Hoarders - In 1994 George began his extensive napkin collection. He collected paper cafeteria napkins and stored them in school lockers around the world. Aroun...
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  • science - (27 Other Entries)
    • SUPER POWERS - In 1975 a hiccup in the Teleportation Device George and Neal use to travel instantaneously across huge distances caused them to swap realities with al...
    • What's a Typewriter? - In 2025 George and Neal received a grant from the US government to study the long held belief that if you give a billion monkeys a billion typewriters...
    • Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh.... - In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have b...
    • Free TV! - George and Neal can view the entire electromagnetic spectrum, not only visible light. This has many uses and has helped us with our amazing achievemen...
    • Family Week - In September 2012 George took a short break from time travelling, changing history, and altering the laws of physics to spend some more time with his ...
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View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Band Camp - Then there was that one time, in band camp... But we won't go there.
  • Where the heck are Vladimir and Estragon? - In 1947 George and Neal spent several days in France waiting for their friends Vladimir and Estragon to show up. Neal later wrote a play about it call...
  • Monkey Back Guarantee! - In 2030, it became extremely fashionable to have a hairy back. To cash in on this trend, George and Neal created a lotion that would increase the hai...
  • Welcome Back Potter - Overwhelmed by the success of the Harry Potter franchise (books, movies, games, cereals, tampons, etc.) and eager to revive the 1970's sitcoms, in 200...
  • I Had Another Dream - In 1940 George and Neal wrote and released a song entitled Dreaming of a Purple Christmas. The song was mildly successful and in 1941 Irving Berlin w...


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